A Walk To Remember
by You.Can't.Hear.Me.Screaming
Summary: KUROFAI! OOC warning! Summary inside! Inspired by the movie; A Walk to Remember! Fai is just transferring into Kurogane's school, and he's hanging out with Sakura - who is seen as an outcast...But Kurogane still wonders about the male...
1. Chapter 1

A Walk To Remember

(A.N: WARNING: OOC, and this doesn't relate back to the show at all! _**'These are thoughts,' **_**and bolded words are song lyrics. Okay, so this whole thing came about from watching a video by FaysDarkAngel on youtube. A Walk To Remember, in trailer form…Only the visuals were KuroFai. So, of course, when I finally saw the movie, all I could think about was my favourite pairing. So, naturally, the first thing I wanted to do after seeing the movie, was write this fanfic…Which means that my brain automatically began sorting through characters and forming the plot. I plan on using some lines that we hear in the movie, and sticking relatively close to the movies idea…But I will be changing things to suit my idea a little better. For anyone who has ever seen the movie, you know that the ending is a big time tearjerker…I personally won't tell you how I want to end my fanfic -evil grin- Lets just say that you have to read to find out!)**

The car pulled up, and the dark haired male stepped out of the drivers side. He looked over to the group of people that he called _friends. _Shogo, and his girlfriend Primera. Syaoran, and his roommate Ryuuoh. And Kurogane. He glared at the faces he was seeing, walking towards the group.

"Kamui!" Shogo called out, wrapping his arm around Primera. Kamui nodded in silence. Now was not the time for greetings. He was a little too _livid_ for that.

"The hell were you guys thinking?!" He hollered as he approached the group.

"Calm down Kamui," Syaoran announced, hands raised in front of him as if he were surrendering.

"My brother broke his arm because of you guys and your stupid trial. He should have been in as soon as I told you about him."

"Everyone's had to do the trial though," Ryuuoh argued.

"Yeah, everyone except Primera, who was in as soon as Shogo okayed her!" Kamui argued.

No one answered. Kamui had a point. Primera had never had a trial…They had let her into their group because she was dating Shogo. And yet when Kamui mentioned his twin brother - Subaru - they brought up their trial. And Subaru had gotten hurt because of them.

Kamui shook his head, walking away. He didn't want to deal with these guys right now. He didn't even want to see them right now.

They watched him leave.

"…Did you guys hear? We're getting a transfer student," Ryuuoh finally broke the silence, leaning against the short stone wall Shogo and Primera were sitting on.

"Transfer student?" Kurogane finally spoke. He didn't remember the last time they'd gotten a transfer student.

"Yeah, supposedly he's best friends with that Sakura girl."

"Really?" Now it was Syaoran's turn to be curious. He liked Sakura…But he tried not to let it show. He didn't want his friends to know. But the two of them had been friends as kids…

"Yeah. He's coming here today, with her."

"Che," Kurogane's voice was heard once more, as he leant against the wall. He knew Syaoran liked Sakura. He just wouldn't harass him about it. Ryuuoh, however…

"Hey Syaoran, if you want to be with Sakura, you might want to move soon…You never know! Maybe she'll have the hots for this guy, and…"

"Ryuuoh!" The brunette announced, shaking his head in defeat.

Shogo laughed at the fight,

"Speak of the devil…" He nodded his head towards a car that had just pulled up beside the curb. He recognized the driver as Touya - Sakura's older brother. And, sure enough, Sakura stepped out. She then turned around to face the person in the backseat. The group watched from their position against the wall. They didn't expect to see what they saw next.

A blonde male emerged from the back of the car. His hair was a disarray, and he had a messenger bag hanging down at one side of his body. He was dressed in jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. As he stepped outside, he looked around at his surroundings. Sakura caught sight of someone and ran over to them, temporarily leaving behind the blonde, who shut the car door, and wandered towards the entrance of the school. As he walked by, he couldn't help but notice the eyes that were locked on him.

There was a short male, with deep brunette hair, leaning against the wall. Then, sitting on the wall, there was a male with silverfish hair, and his arm was wrapped around a girl whose hair colour could be described as a pale teal. A short distant away from her, another short male sat, another brunette, though his hair wasn't as deeply coloured as the first males was. And on the opposite side of him, a tall, tan male was leaning against the wall. His hair was black, and spiked. His red eyes burned into the blonde.

"Cute bag," the girl called out, smiling.

The blonde answered with a timid smile,

"Thank you."

Most of the group seemed to be snickering at his answer.

"Fai!" A familiar voice called out, and he looked. Sakura had returned, with a dark haired male, who was wearing glasses.

"Fai, this is my friend, Watanuki. Watanuki, this is Fai!" She gestured between the two, and Watanuki greeted the blonde in a kind way. Fai was happy to see that the male was friendly. His eyes drifted back to the group. Back to the tall, tan male…

"Lets go Fai…You don't want to associate yourself with them…" Sakura told him, glancing at the group. She didn't want to risk feelings developing between Kurogane and Fai. She _knew_ what the male was like. He had a nasty temper, and he was cruel. She hated him for that. She tugged him away. Fai followed along, and waited until they were inside before he finally asked the question that was eating at him,

"Who was that?"

Sakura sighed,

"Well, the first one you saw was Ryuuoh. The couple sitting on the wall were Shogo and Primera…They've been dating for a while now. Then next to them was Syaoran - he's Ryuuoh's roommate, and my ex-best friend. And the tall, tan one is…" She trailed off, glancing at Fai, who was awaiting an answer. She sighed,

"His name is Kurogane. He's a trouble maker, and so is his little gang. They have another member, named Kamui - but he's a little more level headed than the rest of them appear to be. Kurogane is _cruel_…He has a _nasty_ temper, and he's always getting detentions and suspensions. I don't know why Yuuko doesn't just expel him…Oh, Yuuko is the name of the Principal, by the way."

"Kurogane, huh?"

"Fai, don't you _dare. _He's bad for you. I don't want you hurt."

The male raised his hands in surrender,

"Calm down Sakura, I didn't say I was going to do anything…You know I'm not in any position _to_ do anything."

**--**

"Kurogane…Hey, are you okay?" Syaoran was trying to get his friends attention. The raven seemed to be staring off into space.

"Hey Kurogane, if you don't want Yuuko to bust you for being late to class - _again_ - then you might want to get a move on," Ryuuoh told him, pushing off of the wall. Shogo and Primera were already on their way into the building. Syaoran was just hoping down off the wall. Kurogane snapped out of it, and grabbed his bag off of the ground. The three of them headed towards the school.

Once they had entered, Ryuuoh and Syaoran headed off for their first period class. Kurogane was about to do the same when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Mr. Suwa…Perhaps you could spare me a few moments. In my office."

He grumbled something unintelligible, and turned to face the woman he knew too well. The Principal - Yuuko. She was standing near her office door, smiling. Annoyed, the raven made his way over to her, and followed her into the office.

"So…I hear Subaru is staying home today. Broke his arm. How did he manage _that, _I wonder? He's always been such a good kid…"

"Che. Maybe he's just not as good as you _think_ he is."

"Oh? I don't think that that's the case," Yuuko answered, knowingly.

"Well, what are you going to do about it? You going to expel me?"

"No. I won't do that. I'm simply going to advise you that I believe it's time you made some new friends. Get to know some new people, Mr. Suwa."

Kurogane knew she wasn't done. But he wanted her to be.

"One more thing," she spoke again.

_He knew it._

"I want you to spend your time in the arts hallway."

"The arts hallway?" He look skeptical. Yuuko couldn't be _serious_…He wasn't artistically talented…_At all. _He doubted he ever _would_ be.

"There's so much going on down there. Singing, dancing, drawing, painting, writing…They're quite the group of people."

'_Quite the group alright. Full of people like that Sakura girl, and that Watanuki pest,' _he thought bitterly, his scowl as deep as ever.

"And, you might want to bring up your French mark a little more. It's looking rather poor."

"ARE YOU DONE YET?!" Kurogane shouted, standing.

"For now," Yuuko agreed, smiling,

"Art hall, everyday, noon 'till one."

"Che. Whatever."

**--**

"Art hall?" Fai questioned, curious.

"You'll see!" Sakura tugged him through the double doors as they rounded the corner. The blonde stopped. Music flooded from every direction, artwork lined the walls…

He smiled. Sakura dragged him into one of the many rooms.

"Watanuki!" Sakura called, waving. The male glanced up from his note book and scanned the room. He waved when he saw them approaching. He had abandoned them shortly after being introduced to Fai - someone had told him he was needed for something, and when his task was complete, he went to the art hallway. Now they were here. He checked his watch.

_11:50._

He should probably warn Sakura…

"Sakura!" He called. She grinned, releasing Fai, who scanned the room that he was in. Everyone appeared to be writing something or other. He stepped back out into the hallway, and began to follow the sound of music.

**--**

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Well uh! You see…I have to tell you something!"

"O…kay?"

"Well…I think…I mean, if I heard correctly…" Sakura turned her head around while Watanuki continued to stumble in his attempts to form a coherent sentence.

"Hey…Where did Fai go?" She spun around to face the door. Watanuki deadpanned behind her at the complete turn around of their conversation. Sakura ignored his reaction, and wandered over to the doorway. When she saw Fai walking away, she called out to Watanuki, who hurried to follow her.

**--**

"Why do I have to go to the stupid art hallway, when I don't even _like_ art?" He grumbled, as he strolled down one of the schools many hallways. There would be a right turn up ahead, and a set of double doors.

"Get to know people? In there? _Che. _Yeah right."

When he finally reached the doors, he pulled one open. He waited for it to close behind him. It was so unnaturally _quiet_…Minus the sound of a single piano…And a beautiful voice.

He followed the sound.

**--**

The keys beneath her fingers created the familiar tune. She remembered having played this before. This was Fai's first ever song. Something they had worked on as a team.

The blonde was standing a little ways away from her, singing his heart out. His blue eyes had closed, and he looked content…

"…**You're my only hope," **the male was singing, as she turned her head to the doorway. Oh _no_…What was _he_ doing here? She quickly looked to Fai, who was waiting for the moment in his song, where his voice was to return. She played it out, still shocked.

"**I give you my destiny. **

**I'm giving you all of me…**

**I want your symphony;**

**Singing in all that I am…" **Fai drew in his breath, ready to belt his lungs out,

"**At the top of my lungs!**

**I'm giving it ba~aa~aa~aa~aaack!**

**So I lay my head, back down!**

**And I lift my hands and pray,**

**To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours,**

**I pray to be only yours, I know now…**

**You're my, only hope…"**

Now the male turned over to a hum,

"**Hmmmmm…Hmmmm-mmmmmm…" **And his voice returned shortly,

"**Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oooh…"**

The male opened his brilliant blue eyes, nervous for the reaction. The people around him clapped. Feeling his cheeks light up slightly, he allowed himself to look among them. But as he turned his head towards the right, he noticed that a few people were looking to the doorway, confused. He followed their gazes. Standing in the doorway, was a rather bewildered Kurogane.

Embarrassed because he was being stared at by the male, Fai turned his head away - quickly.

'_Oh god…How long has he been standing there?!' _He glanced at Sakura, but her eyes were locked on the doorway. She looked both surprised and irritated.

"Didn't know you could sing," a deep, rough sounding voice told the blonde from his right. Fai didn't have to look in order to know. Sakura was still watching. He swallowed,

"It's no big deal…I've been doing it for years."

"You sound good," the raven mumbled the compliment, before turning his attention to Sakura,

"Will you stop staring at me?"

"Why are you here?"

"Yuuko." Kurogane didn't seem to think that there was much need for expansion on the subject, because he left it at that. Not sure what to say next, the blonde turned his attention to Watanuki, who was sitting on the floor,

"What're you up to, Watanuki?"

The male turned his attention to the blonde,

"You sing so well, Fai! And I'm just working on a poem…"

"Is it for Doumeki?" Sakura questioned, turning her gaze to the male, grinning.

"…Wh-Why would it be?! I mean, he's so…He's! He's such a _nuisance! _And he's practically a mute! HE HARDLY SPEAKS! _EVER!_" The male had paused in his writing, to have a miniature spazz attack, which came full package with a flail.

Sakura giggled, and Fai grinned,

"Doumeki huh?" The blonde was amused,

"Who's that?"

"He's Watanuki's _boyfriend_," Sakura explained, grinning.

"HE IS NOT!" Watanuki announced, his cheeks bright red. Fai took the chance. While Watanuki experienced a panic attack, he carefully swooped down to steal the males note book. The blonde was fortunate that the male remained so oblivious. His eyes scanned the page and he giggled,

"Aww, this is so cute!"

"FAI! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ THAT!!!" Now Watanuki was lunging at the blonde - who easily dodged him.

"Now, now, calm down. I wasn't showing it to anyone," the blonde answered, but his features turned devious,

"But maybe I should…Sakura," he sang, tossing the notebook over to her. Watanuki would have retrieved it from her, but Fai pulled him to sit down beside him,

"Watanuki, tell me about this Doumeki boyfriend of yours," he ordered playfully.

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Hmm," Fai didn't look convinced in the slightest. Sakura joined them, handing Watanuki his notebook. He muttered a thanks, and sighed in defeat.

"He's handsome," Sakura informed Fai, giggling at Watanuki's reactions,

"And tan…He's really tall too…"

"Tall?" Fai stood,

"Is he taller than I am?"

Watanuki spoke up,

"Definitely."

The blonde smiled. He'd secretly been hoping for that answer.

"Is he taller than Kurogane?" He stole a glance at the raven, who looked dumbfounded by the blondes direction of conversation.

"Uh…He's…" Watanuki didn't know the height difference between the two, but he knew Doumeki wasn't quite as tall as Kurogane happened to be.

"He's about here on me," the raven spoke, holding a hand up beside his ear. Watanuki stood and then nodded in agreement,

"That looks about right."

Fai grinned,

"Hyuu! Watanuki likes them tall!"

The male blushed furiously at the blondes words, and tried to hide his face in his notebook.

Fai snuck another glance at Kurogane.

'_Well,' _he thought to himself, knowing that only he alone could hear what was being said in his silence,

'_Watanuki isn't alone on that one.'_

**(A.N: I'm going to end Chapter 1, R&R? And yes, that song was Mandy Moore's "Only Hope.")**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**(A.N: **So, yesterday I spent a few hours writing this by hand…And as I typed it, I edited to make it flow better. OOC WARNING!!! Don't complain, you've been warned. **Bold means they're speaking in French. **_'This means thoughts.' _Dashes are time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. There's a little flashback moment in italics as well, but you'll understand as you read! R&R? I love you all for it!)

**--**

It was _officially_ his first day at the high school. He was so excited, and nervous, all rolled up into one. He had classes with Sakura, and Watanuki. They weren't until the afternoon though, so he had to be alone for his entire morning. Maybe that was for the better though…He wasn't a morning person.

Touya had insisted on driving him to school when Sakura was showing him around, but the blonde had half-begged them to allow him to drive himself in from now on. He had a nice car - in his opinion - and he wanted to use it.

Besides, he hated bothering them with being his taxi service.

He drummed his fingers along the steering wheel now, as he waited for the light to change to green. He still had a decent twenty minutes to get to school, which was good. This gave him time to prepare in his car, before he actually got out of the vehicle.

**--**

He definitely _wasn't _a morning person. His math class had gone by _very _slowly, and he'd had to focus - _hard. _His auto class was a little better - possibly because he knew what he was doing in that class - for the most part anyways. And now, he was on his way to French. He was happy to see that this classroom was set up how his math class had been. Long rows of desks, and bench-like seats, elevating themselves as they extended to the back of the room. There was a staircase against each wall, and two more, sectioning a row of desks and bench seats into the middle. The blonde headed for the staircase on the right, that lead to the middle seats. He walked about halfway up the stairs, and sat himself down practically in the middle of the bench. He put his books on the desk, and looked to the door.

He recognized some of the faces as they entered the room. There was Seishiro, from his math class, and Fuuma, from auto…He'd heard - from Watanuki, of course - that the two were brothers. As they walked in - nearly side by side - Fai couldn't help but realize how _similar_ they looked. Fuuma took to one of the benches on the right side - the side nearest the door. Seishiro crossed the room to sit down on a bench at the left.

_Definitely brothers._

Smiling to himself, Fai returned his gaze to the doorway.

He didn't expect to see who he saw next.

**--**

The male was just coming out of a bad mood. Yuuko had called him into her office _again_ this morning.

"_So, did you go to the Arts Hall yesterday?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Good, good…I changed your science class to Arts Hall."_

"…" _Seriously, did this woman plan to __**rule**__ his __**life?**_

"_I want you to meet new people." A smile._

"_I __**met**__ new people," he grumbled. _

"_You didn't get to __**know**__ anyone." It wasn't a question. Yuuko just __**knew.**_

"_What are you, my __**Mother**__?" He couldn't handle much more of her __**prying**__ into his life like this._

"_No," she paused,_

"_But I'm trying to help you. Maybe you could talk to the new boy."_

Now as he was walking to French, he tried to keep his Principal's words out of his head. Why didn't she understand that he didn't _need_ any new friends? He had Syaoran - who was probably his best friend out of the group. Ryuuoh - who was acting more and more like an asshole every time he saw him. Shogo, Kamui…Primera was even growing on him. And Subaru - Kamui's twin brother - might join forces with them soon too - assuming that Kamui didn't murder them all in cold blood first, of course.

He didn't need any new friends. He had plenty.

As he entered the French room, he looked up.

…_Dammit Yuuko…_

**--**

The blonde tore his eyes away from the tall, tan male that he remembered a little _too_ well. Having been taken by surprise, he was now wracking his brain for the males name, as he worked his way up the stairs.

'_What was that name again? Sakura calls him Suwa…But that's his __**last **__name…It was Kuro-something…'_

Someone set their books down near him.

'_Kuro…Kuro…Dammit…'_

"Ooi," a deep voice pulled him from his reverie. He looked to his right.

'_Kurogane. That's his name…'_

"Yeah?"

"…I don't know. Yuuko told me to talk to you," the raven mumbled. He didn't seem to want to talk to the blonde - at all.

"…Oh." Fai turned to face the board. _Great. _So, apparently, his Principal wanted him to suffer Sakura's _wrath. _That girl _hated _Kurogane. And not with a _passion, _either. She was a sweet enough girl…But she was not meant to be provoked.

The teacher walked in, and took attendance. He set to work almost immediately, and Fai liked this. He was fluent in French - so this class should be easy for him. He copied down the note - without the English translation that the teacher was writing in brackets. It was the final year of high school…Shouldn't people know this by now?

But, he supposed, that was rather _biased_ of him.

**--**

He glanced at the blondes page. Why wasn't he writing down the English translation? His eyes returned to the board, and he tried to focus on what he was writing down. He didn't understand French - _at all. _He was already flunking this class _miserably_…Which surprised some of the teachers, because they'd barely even started the year yet…

Scribbling the note down, he tried to compare the French to the English. Now matter how many ways he looked at it, he still felt like he was trying to read something in ancient symbols. How the hell did _this_ match _that_?

He growled in frustration.

**--**

Hearing the growl, Fai shifted his gaze to the raven beside him. The male looked as though he was refraining from ripping his hair out. The blonde returned his gaze to the board. He was done copying what was on the board, so he put down his pen.

The raven was still growling and grumbling next to him, so he returned his attention to the male - this time turning to face him completely,

"Do you not understand something?"

"Che. Yeah, it's called _French. _This class is stupid."

"Then why'd you take it?" The blonde knew it wasn't something that Kurogane actually _needed_…It was an elective course. Why _take it _if you didn't want to _learn it?_

"…Personal."

The answer threw Fai off, but he didn't try to force an answer from the male. If he found it to be a personal topic - for whatever reason - then the blonde would respect that wholeheartedly.

"What's your mark?"

"…I have a thirty-six," Kurogane mumbled.

"…" The blonde was dumbfounded. He could understand if the male had possibly had some difficulties with understanding, and that had set his mark into the sixties or fifties…But to be failing so badly already…?

"What?" The raven hissed. Though, he had a pretty good idea about what was going through the males head at this point.

"…You've only been in school for _a week and a half_…How are you failing to that degree already?!"

"…I was suspended for three days last week."

Kurogane almost made it sound like an _excuse. _Fai couldn't believe what he was hearing. _Maybe Sakura was right about him…_

"Mr. Flourite. Mr. Suwa. Something you'd like to share with the class?"

The blonde looked to his teacher, embarrassed,

"No, sir."

When the teacher kept his gaze focused on the two of them, Fai sighed,

"**I'm sorry for interrupting your class, sir. I'll pay more attention now. Forgive me."**

There were a lot of eyes watching him, and the blonde felt a bit uncomfortable with being the center of attention.

"**You're fluent in French?"** The teacher was bewildered.

"**Yes. My Mother taught me. She used to speak French to me, while my Father spoke English. I'm bilingual, and currently looking into learning a possible third language."**

"**Maybe you could tutor the male next to you."**

Chancing a glance at the raven - who was watching him in astonishment. He returned his focus to his teacher,

"**I'll consider it."**

**--**

He was all _too_ happy to leave class. He took off before Kurogane could question him, and sighed in relief upon seeing Sakura and Watanuki. He was temporarily confused when he saw another male walking alongside Watanuki - until he remembered the physical description he'd received the other day of someone he hadn't been introduced to yet. _Doumeki._

"Hyuu! Watanuki, is this Doumeki?" Fai questioned, as he hugged Sakura in greeting.

"I--I--He!!" The male accepted defeat with a sigh,

"Yes."

Fai giggled. His friends attempts at not flushing in embarrassment were truly adorable. He released Sakura, and nodded to Doumeki,

"Nice to meet you."

The male nodded politely.

'_Ah, he's a quiet type. Well, that works with Watanuki's inability to form a coherent sentence, I guess…'_

"Sakura, I'm hungry!" Fai announced, and she laughed in response,

"Lets go eat then!"

**--**

He hadn't been able to ask what they'd been talking about, but he was sure that he had something to do with it. The blonde had been out of the classroom faster than he'd thought possibly - so that had confirmed his thoughts.

Now he was on his way to his groups hang out. They were supposed to meet up, and then go and buy lunch. By the time the raven got there, Syaoran was waiting - perched on the wall.

"Kamui isn't coming. I asked," the brunette informed him, turning his head to face the male.

"He's still mad." It wasn't a question. Kurogane knew that Kamui was _livid._

"Mainly at Ryuuoh. It _was_ his idea after all."

The raven nodded. This was _true. _It had been Ryuuoh's fault that Subaru had broken his arm.

"I wouldn't tell _him_ you said that," Shogo's voice joked, as he appeared with Primera.

"Where is he anyway?" Kurogane didn't see him anywhere…

"He's not coming," Shogo answered,

"Yuuko's got him in her office. _Again_."

"What did he set fire to _this_ time?" Syaoran wondered, jumping off the wall.

Shogo shrugged,

"No idea."

"I'd hate to have science with him," Primera announced,

"He's a pyro."

Amused, Shogo hugged his girlfriend closer to himself, smiling.

"Lets go, before these two get all _mushy_," the raven announced, looking to Syaoran. The brunette nodded in agreement, laughing a little. Primera pouted until Shogo kissed her cheek. Kurogane made a gagging noise, earning himself a glare.

**--**

**(A.N: Bold means lyrics now, just so you know!)**

**--**

They were all in Fai's black Mercedes, on their way back to the school - and taking the long way to kill some time. The blonde had heard a song he liked playing on the radio, so he had boosted the volume. He and Sakura had then proceeded with singing along. Watanuki and Doumeki took the quiet route, and texted one another back and forth, while they - _discreetly_ - held hands.

"**If you wanna play it like a game; then come on, come on, lets play! 'Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending, than have to forget you for one whole minute!"**

**--**

They could hear them coming, as soon as the song hit the word "'Cause." A black Mercedes, with the windows rolled down, was on its way.

"**They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies. Your little spies!"**

The blonde turned his head to glance out the window. There, was Kurogane and his gang. Their eyes locked for a second, before Fai remembered that he was driving. He allowed himself to sing along, hoping that the raven would get his silent message. Hoping he would understand that maybe - _just maybe _- there was something more to him than this act he seemed to put on when he was around his friends…

"**They taped over your mother, scribbled out the truth with their lies. Your little spies!"**

**--**

**(A.N: Okay, end chapter two! Hyuu! I hope you guys will review? ****I know how Sakura seems rather OOC a lot - but I kind of picture her with the attitude she has in Tsubasa: Tokyo Revelations.**** -Nod- She's so cool in that. ****The whole "Fai is an amazing singer," thing, comes partly from the voice actors who play him in both the English and Japanese.**** I like both versions of Fai's voices - though the Japanese is slightly more homosexual - and that makes me smile. -Nod- ****It is also affected by a fan fiction in my favourites by one Moro-moro! GOTHIX!**** Which needs to get updated! -Glare- ****Please go check that one out too? If you like KuroFai smexiness - you will obey. Tell her I sent you!**** But first! ****REVIEW!! Love you guys, seriously****).**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**(A.N: I know that at the end of the last chapter, I wrote mother, instead of mouth…Sorry about that guys. I totally failed at typing that out. OOC WARNING - seriously! **_'This means thoughts.' _**Dashes are scene changes or time passing. ****There's a flashback scene in italics - you'll understand****. You guys know the drill! R&R? I love you guys!)**

**--**

When they had returned to the school, Fai followed Sakura and Watanuki back to the Arts Hall. As soon as they were through those double doors, the blonde grinned. This place was already beginning to feel like a hangout. It made him feel like he _belonged. _

"We have two hours of _this_?" Fai was baffled. It was amazing that you could spend your entire class singing and dancing, if you wanted to, and still get a credit.

"Yeah. It's pretty great, isn't it?" Sakura agreed, twirling her way down the hall. Watanuki stopped in the doorway of one of the classrooms. The room that seemed to be designated for writing purposes.

"I'll come by and see you two in a bit. I want to write this down, before I forget it."

"Alright," Fai agreed, following Sakura.

Two hours of bliss. What more could he ask for?

**--**

The raven was _not_ looking forward to walking out of his classroom door. He was safe - for now. He was in woodshop, and they had a substitute…So they were supposed to copy notes down all class. This suited him, because he was a little too out-of-focus to really force his attention on his woodman ship today anyways. He was hardly even paying attention to the words that he was writing down. As the time slowly ticked away for everyone else, his irritation grew at seeing the class going by so _fast._

He didn't want to go to the Arts Hall. He didn't want to try and make new friends. He had _plenty_ of friends. Sure, one of them was currently mad at him, and another one was a real jerk, but the others weren't so bad. Syaoran was a good guy. Shogo and Primera weren't too bad either. Why should he be forced around Sakura, and her little friends?

He paused, as he stared down at his page. Watanuki wasn't really so bad. The guy just had trouble with speaking…_Coherently. _And he didn't know much about the new guy, minus the obvious - he knew what he looked like, he knew his name, and he knew that the blonde was bilingual. It was Sakura who bothered him. Mainly because she seemed to think that she understood him fully, and that she had him all figured out. Well…Maybe she did. He wasn't even sure anymore. He used to be a really good kid…But, things changed, and he changed right along with them.

_He didn't know how to be good anymore._

**-- **

Fai had spent his first hour singing with Sakura, and they had occasionally burst into dance as well. Watanuki had shown up about twenty minutes into the class, and watched them with an amused expression on his face. He had laughed at the way the two seemed to harmonize, and become one as they sang and danced…And when the tone went, the students all filed out of the room, leaving the three of them behind.

The blonde stopped his hyperactive antics and looked to something that had been grabbing his attention for a while now. A black grand piano. He had been tempted to play it, but had ended up very distracted, because he'd started dancing about with Sakura. Now, as he transfixed his gaze on the beautiful instrument, he couldn't help but feel the need to play…

Sakura gave him a playful shove forwards,

"Fai, hurry up and play something!"

The blondes feet moved in a slow, stumbling sort of fashion as his friend propelled him towards the piano. When he reached it, Sakura returned to Watanuki. Fai's fingers traced over the instrument, and he sat down on the bench. Pressing a few randomized keys, he seemed to ponder what it was he was going to play. He stretched his fingers out, and closed his eyes. There was a song he knew well, and he had practiced it excessively. The slow and sad music began as the blonde allowed his fingers to travel across the keyboard.

"Beethoven?" Watanuki whispered to Sakura, not taking his eyes off of the blonde before them.

"His Mother was _very_ musical. She taught him all sorts of things. French, piano, violin…He knows guitar too, but he learned that from his brother."

"He has a brother?"

"His Mother and brother passed away in an accident."

The blonde seemed to thrust his soul in every key. It was such a sad song…One he hadn't played in a long time. It had been the first thing he had played after his Mother and brother had passed away. And he had waited half a year to do so. On the emphasized notes, he pressed his pain into the keys. His soul was reaching into its depths, and hauling back memories. He would allow himself to play this sad, and familiar little tune. Allow his hidden pain to show for just a moment. And then he would go back to who he had been moments ago. _Fai D. Flourite. _One of the happiest teenagers on the planet.

_Despite what he was going through._

Piano music drifted through the Arts Hall. Kids who were on their way to the various classrooms paused in the doorways, to listen. Anyone who was heading into the room Fai was playing in, walked in quietly. They stepped off the side, to watch, and listen. The blonde remained oblivious to the people entering the room.

**--**

He pulled open the Arts Hall door. He was greeted by sad, and yet, captivating piano music. He allowed the door to fall shut behind him. His steps were slow. It was as though he was under a spell. A spell that slowly lured him to the last room on the left. He knew he was only hearing the last minute or two of the song. But it was still so _enchanting…_

**--**

The blondes playing slowly came to an end. He was surprised when he looked over to his friends, and saw that Watanuki was in tears. Sakura had tears in her eyes too. When applause sounded from his other side, he turned to look. The tone had already gone, and he was staring into the faces of the people who would be in this periods class. A lot of them had tears in their eyes, or rolling down their cheeks. The blonde looked back to the keys - blushing. He'd made the majority of his classroom cry - without trying. He allowed his eyes to fall on Sakura, who was looking somewhere else.

_And she didn't look happy._

"Sakura?" He wondered, following her gaze.

Standing a little ways away from the rest of the crowd, was a familiar raven haired male. His seemingly ever-present scowl had lightened up a bit in his surprise, and he was staring at the blonde. Self-conscious, Fai turned his attention back to the keys. He could hear his peers to the left of him, whispering about why the tall, tan male was in the Arts Hall at all…

"What's he doing here?" Sakura growled to Watanuki.

"I have no idea…I'm guessing Yuuko?"

"She must have changed his other class over to this one."

"I think she wants Fai and Kurogane to get to know one another."

"Well, I don't."

"Is that really up to you, Sakura?" Watanuki questioned her, sounding nervous,

"I-I mean…It's up to _them_…_Isn't it?_"

There wasn't an answer from the girl, so Watanuki sighed, and pulled out his notebook. Kurogane meanwhile seemed to regain his composure, his scowl returned and he looked away from the blonde. People were watching the male in confusion. The raven ignored them. He worked his way over to the most secluded corner possible, and plopped himself down on the floor. Pulling out his phone, he began to vigorously text Syaoran and Shogo. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be anywhere _except _for here. It was bad enough that he had French with the blonde - though why he had willingly sat down beside the male in the first place was beyond him - did he really need to be around him here too?

Fai stood up, and wandered to his friends.

"Sakura…You shouldn't scowl like that. You'll get wrinkles," the blonde teased.

Her face smoothed out a little, but she was still angry.

"Sakura?"

"I don't want him here," she muttered, throwing a glance to the raven in the corner of the room.

"You really have a vendetta against him, don't you?" Fai chuckled.

"Well yeah! Him and his stupid gang! Syaoran used to be so sweet…He was my best friend…And then he got caught up with them! Now we don't talk, or hang out! He's a whole new person, and I hate them for it!"

"But you don't hate Syaoran?"

"…No…I'm mad at him, but…He was my best friend…I just can't bring myself _to_ hate him…"

Fai nodded in understanding. He remembered the two of them being close. They had been best friends even longer than Sakura and he himself had been. It was unfortunate however, that she chose to take a lot of this anger out on the raven. If the blonde was correct - and he was pretty sure that he was - then Kurogane was just tough on his exterior…He just wondered how he could prove it.

**--**

He stormed out of the building. Let them mark him truant. He didn't care. Why should he? He just pulled out his car keys, and headed to his vehicle. He hadn't stopped himself back there. He hadn't been able to. Part of him was glad he'd done it.

**--**

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Texting."_

"_Why are you in Arts Hall, if you don't like it?"_

"_Yuuko."_

"_Did she change your class over to this?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Do you know how to say more than one word at a time?"_

_The scowl had deepened, and the raven had locked his red eyes on the blondes blue eyed gaze,_

"_What are you, the __**welcoming committee? **__Yuuko sent me here because she wants me to meet new people - which I have __**no interest **__in doing. I'm being forced against my will to hang around __**you **__people."_

"…_What's wrong with us?" Fai didn't see anything wrong with the group. They were musically articulate in the classroom. Why did that make them any different from Kurogane and his group of friends?_

"_You __**really**__ need to __**ask?**__" The raven only waited a moment before he sighed in frustration,_

"_These are the type of people who get along best with other people who share their interests and hobbies. Which means that they have trouble getting to know people who are outside of their weird little realm."_

'_He's right about the first half at least. We get along better in these classes due to shared interests. But, isn't that normal?'_

"_And - in case you hadn't noticed - at least half - if not more than that - of this schools population is made of people who are…" Kurogane hated the word, but he was going to use it anyways, hoping it would send the blonde away,_

"…_**Fags," **__he said it, and it left a terrible taste in his mouth,_

"_I'll bet __**you're**__ one of them." His gaze returned to the cell phone in his hand. He hated himself for saying it, but he didn't want any new friends. He knew it was wrong. __**Very, wrong. **__His cousin was homosexual…She would be very angry with him for using that term._

_He didn't expect what happened next._

**--**

_It was bad enough that Kurogane had ripped on Fai's friends. His hands had curled into fists, and his whole body had trembled. Rage sent his adrenaline on fire. He could feel his heart thundering against his chest. He didn't care if the raven thought he was homosexual - in fact, he was rather on the dot with that one. But he hated the term that had been used._

_Clenching his right hand into a very tight fist, the blonde drew back his arm. He didn't think in that moment. He just brought his hand across the top of Kurogane's head - __**hard.**_

"_WHAT THE--?!" The raven looked to the blonde - confused and surprised, as one of his own hands came up to his head to touch the area which was already forming a bruise._

'_He can hit, that's for sure…'_

"_You're an idiot," Fai told him, lowering his fist,_

"_It's only natural that people who share an interest would get along well with one another. That's a part of human nature. You and your little __**gang**__ have things in common with each other, don't you?" He didn't wait for an answer,_

"_And that would be what draws all of you together. It doesn't take a __**genius**__ to figure __**that**__ out." He turned towards the open door, and stormed off. When he finally reached the threshold, he shot the male a cold glare,_

"_By the way, the accepted vernacular, is __**gay**__!"_

_With that, he was gone._

**--**

**(A.N: Bolded quotations means it's a text message from here on!)**

**--**

Now he was in his car, with the keys in the ignition. He pulled out his cell phone.

"**Want us to come with you?"**

He sighed, and typed out a reply,

"**No. I may already be in trouble for this. You two stay. I want to be alone anyways."**

Pocketing the phone, he pulled out of the student parking lot, and out onto the street. He wasn't one for skipping classes, but he supposed the occasional day off wouldn't hurt him. He was just starting out though…This wasn't going to look good. So, he'd just have to stay home the next day too. He'd lie and say he hadn't been feeling well. Staying home an extra day would back up that story.

Staying home would also mean a day of being locked away, _alone. _Fai's home wasn't really a home. It was an apartment, which counted as a home, sure enough.

_But the blonde didn't treat it as a home._

It was his studio. His place for writing music and lyrics. A place to sing. A place to sleep, and eat.

It was _not_ a _home. _It was a live-in studio.

**--**

"Look what you did!" She announced, angered. She stuffed her phone into her pocket. Watanuki kept close to her as she approached the raven who was still sitting in the corner.

"I'm all for you two _hating_ one another, but you didn't have to use that _word_ against him!"

"Sakura…" Watanuki's voice warned her, as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm glad he hit you. I hope it hurts."

It hurt alright. More so than he'd thought it would. He got to his feet, slowly. Once he was standing, he stuffed his phone into his pocket. He wandered out into the hallway, and headed out of the Arts Hall. When he was back in the main part of the school, he worked his way down to the office. When he walked in, Yuuko looked surprised to see him. He couldn't blame her. Usually, if he wanted to go home, he just left.

"Something I can do for you, Mr. Suwa?" Yuuko questioned, still looking kind of confused.

"I want to go home," his head was killing him. And the guilt he was feeling was nearly enough to raise bile into his throat. He'd used a forbidden word, on someone he barely knew.

_That was unjustified._

"Your reason?"

"I don't feel well. My head is killing me, and I feel like throwing up." He wasn't lying. It must have shown on his face, because Yuuko looked convinced - for once.

"Alright…Sign out."

Kurogane signed his name and headed out the school.

**--**

**(A.N: Ouch Kergs, that was a real jerk move! Can you guys tell I really hate that word? And Fai totally had a "Chuck & Larry" moment! Woo! Oh!! For anyone who is wondering what the hell Fai is playing on the piano…It's Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata!) **


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

_**(A.N: **__How much do I frikken LOVE you people? This is two updates wicked close together!__ You guys are fortunate that I was in a very big KuroFai mood -Nod.- Also, I'm sorry that Kuro-puu was so mean last chapter! Oh! And I bumped the rating up to M, because of language…That was a mean word Kuro-tan…MEAN, MEAN, MEAN! -Scolds- Definite __OOC Warning__…"This means someone is talking over the phone, or intercom" _**"This means it's a text message." **And dashes are time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill! Read it & Review it? Love you!**)**

**--**

He would apologize to him today.

He was on his way to his French class, still feeling miserable, and loaded with ibuprofen. His head was tender on one side due to Fai's incredibly strong punch the other day. The male was so slender and frail looking…The raven hadn't been able to help it when he'd made the assumption that the blonde was _weak._

Now he knew just how _wrong_ he happened to be.

Walking into the French room, he searched the seats. Barely a soul had entered, and the blonde wasn't there yet. _Maybe that was a good thing. _He sat in the middle desk, in the aisle seat, down at the bottom. This way, if Fai walked in, and then ran away, he could easily catch up to him. He watched every face that entered the room.

Seishiro…Fuuma…Plenty of faces. Plenty of names - some he knew, some he didn't. But the flow of students seemed to stop, and he headed for a higher up seat, not wanting to be so close to the teacher. As he walked up the stairs, his stomach twisted uncomfortably.

_Fai wasn't here._

**--**

He opened his eyes to the sound of his phone vibrating against the bedside table. As he lazily reached over to pick it up, he tried not to move too much. He was rather comfortable in his bed - for once. He pulled the phone over to himself, and flipped it open.

"**I'll be there in an hour."**

He blinked as he read the message. He read who had sent it, and read the message again. His sleep seemed to wear off as he realized who the text was from. He sat up in bed - _fast. _A chill ran through him due to his sudden lack of blankets. But he didn't care. He couldn't care less.

_He had to get ready._

**--**

He'd told the group he'd bring his car around to them. He wanted to make a quick call before they went to get lunch. They didn't seem to mind, and sat around joking, while he rushed to his car. Once inside, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He dialed in a number, and waited for the person on the other end to pick up the phone.

"_Operator, how may I help you?"_

"Yeah, I'm looking for a friend of mine…"

"_Name?"_

"Fai Flourite."

"_One moment."_

When the woman provided him with an address, he scribbled it down on the paper.

**--**

He was clean. Fresh from the shower and fully clothed. He checked his time. There was a mere couple of minutes left. Grabbing his cell phone and stuffing it into his pocket, he checked his room for anything that he might need. They would be taking his car - no doubt - so music was covered. Should he bring a sweater? He walked over to one of his windows, and pushed it open. There was a slight breeze, but it felt good. Shutting the window, he wandered to his closet. He should bring one, just in case. Picking out one that would work with what he was already wearing, he slung it over his arm.

He grabbed his wallet and checked to make sure he had money. He did. He closed it, and stuffed it into one of his pockets. Grabbing his car keys - which had the key to his apartment attached to them - he walked out of his apartment, locking the door behind him. He rushed to the stairs and made his way down the two flights. He was just heading out as she walked up to the doors.

Their greeting was one rather _long_ hug.

**--**

If this hadn't been uncomfortable enough. Now, it was just plain _awkward. _He didn't want to be in this room, especially now that it meant he was going to get glared at for the entire class. An hour of hatred.

_How lovely._

To his surprise, Watanuki walked in alone. The raven didn't waste much time, he pulled the shorter male aside.

"I don't know anything!" Watanuki announced as soon as Kurogane had dragged him away from the door, and out of the earshot of their peers.

"Yeah. _Whatever. _Look, I want to go over and apologize to him today," he saw the males expression change, and spoke before the other male could,

"I'm not asking for an address. Nor am I asking for a phone number. What I want is simple, and painless."

"…If I tell you anything, Sakura will _kill _me."

Kurogane sighed,

"I just need to know what classes he has, in the morning. I know he has French - we're in the same class. I want to bring over his homework, and apologize for being an idiot."

"…"

"Are you going to spontaneously combust or something?"

"N-No! I just! I…!" Watanuki sighed,

"_Don't tell her that I told you. _He has the same classes as you do, just reversed," Watanuki walked away, not wanting Sakura to come into the classroom to see him and the raven chatting.

**--**

"I've missed you!"

"I missed you too…It's been so _long_…" He was so happy to see her again. Too happy to explain.

"Are we going somewhere?" She looked to him with very questioning eyes.

"I'm hungry. We're getting food."

"You hate breakfast." It wasn't a question, she just knew this about him.

"I can't eat in the mornings…And it's technically not morning…"

"What is it with _boys_ and _food?_" She wondered aloud, allowing him to drag her along. When they reached his car, they climbed in, and she turned her questioning eyes on him,

"Why aren't you at school?"

"I'll tell you about it when we come back." He didn't want to think about Kurogane right now. He just wanted to hang out with her.

She was an _important person, _after all.

**--**

He was finally in his car. His bag was on the seat next to him, tucked in with the homework from his classes, as well as the homework from Fai's classes. It was more note writing than it was anything else. He pulled the address out of his pocket and unfolded the piece of paper. Reading it over, he pulled out of the students parking lot.

He needed to say he was sorry. If the blonde wanted to hate him, then that was fine. He just didn't want _that_ to be the cause of it.

**--**

They had finally returned to the apartment. Fai had dragged her out to eat, and then pulled her through the mall for a couple of hours. Now they were back. Now he _had_ to _talk._

"Alright. You've dodged the subject long enough." She wanted to know what was wrong.

"…I didn't go to school today, because I'm mad at someone." He hated admitting the truth.

"…_Fai_…That's no reason to stay home…"

"Well, it's not that simple…Sakura - you remember her."

"Of course I do, she's the one who sent me the message saying that you needed me." She grinned at this, and the blonde sighed in defeat. His friend had been looking out for him all along.

"…She introduced me to Watanuki, and I met Doumeki. I have good friends. But there's this boy, and Sakura warned me about him the very first day…He's got an anger problem. A _really bad _one. And he's a bit of an _asshole_," the blonde glared down his cell phone as he spun it around between his hands in slow circles.

"Oh?" She was prompting him for more.

"And he's in two of my classes. One in the morning, and one in the afternoon. And in my afternoon class yesterday he…" The blonde didn't want to remember. It made him angry all over again. But he'd feel better if he told her…

"He…?" She was waiting.

"He mocked my friends and I - made some stupid remark about how we're different. And then he………He called me a _fag_."

"…Fai…" Her voice was sad now. She knew why this would bother him. He rarely saw his Father anymore, because his Father called him the _exact same thing. _The word was usually said with disgust. Fai was frowned upon in his Father's eyes, for being homosexual.

_As if he could control it._

"You know…I think Sakura tried to keep me away, because she knew…She just _knew_ who I happened to be…And it made her worry…"

"What do you mean?"

"…Well…It's going to sound _shallow_…"

"What is?"

"…The fact that I think he's beautiful?" The blonde paused,

"Or at least I did. Until he said _that_."

"What does he look like?" She was curious now, as she sat on the edge of his bed.

"Tall, taller than I am. I'm probably about to his shoulders…Red eyes, tan skin, black hair - short, black hair. It's all spiked. He's always scowling…But he still looks good."

There was a buzzing noise.

"That's probably Sakura. Will you get that for me Chi? I'm going to the washroom…" He was wiping at his eyes. She nodded, understanding,

"Go ahead. I'll get the door."

**--**

He pressed the buzzer beside the name again - _waiting. _He had the backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Come on, come on…"

"_Hello?"_

A female? Well…That was unexpected…

"Uh…I'm looking for Fai. Did I press the wrong button?"

"_You got the right one. He's in the washroom right now, washing up…Did you need something?"_

"I'm here to drop off homework…I'm a friend of his, from school," he hated to lie, but he couldn't tell a stranger the truth.

"_Ohh…Okay!" _He heard a buzzing sound, and pulled open the door.

**--**

"Hey Fai?"

"Yeah?" He called, turning off the water for a moment to listen.

"What are these new friends of yours like? Watanuki and Doumeki, I mean."

"Watanuki is this short, dark haired boy. He can barely form a coherent sentence." He heard her giggle,

"And Doumeki is tall - taller than me. And he's also got dark hair, he's tan, and he's rather quiet. He and Watanuki are boyfriends, by what I understand."

"Aww how _cute_!"

There was a knock at the door. The blonde turned the water back on.

Chi didn't need to ask. She headed for the door, and unlocked it. She pulled it open.

Tall, tan, black hair that was spiked, red eyes, scowl…

_This couldn't be good…_

**--**

"Chi? Are you okay out there?" Fai called, stepping out of the washroom. He could see her…She was staring at the doorway.

"Chi? What is it? What's the matter?" He reached out, touching her shoulder. He turned his head to see what was bothering her.

"…"

"Fai, I'm sorry!" Chi announced, snapping out of her trance,

"I didn't mean to let him in! I thought he might've been one of your friends!"

"I'm not mad at you, Chi." He fixed a glare on the raven,

"What are you doing here? Why are you in my house?"

"I came to bring you your homework…And I wanted to apologize…"

"Why bother? I thought you didn't associate with _fags_."

"…I know it was a bad thing to say. I shouldn't have used that word…_I'm sorry_…"

"Whatever. _Get out. _I don't want you here."

"I don't blame you for being mad at me. I shouldn't have used that term. I hate that word myself…"

"Yeah, you look real torn up about it," Fai snapped, walking away from his doorway. He began to sift through his shopping bags that he'd filled with a few groceries, and a bunch of art supplies.

"Listen, I'm being serious. I--"

"Didn't I tell you to _leave? _Thank you for coming to drop off the work, but from now on, _don't bother. _I don't like people like you. Ignorant people who don't _think_ before they open their mouths."

He pulled out a few cans, and headed into his kitchen to put them away. Chi seemed to melt back into the blondes room, sitting herself on the edge of his bed once more.

"That's why I came to say that I'm sorry!" Kurogane announced, frustrated.

"Don't yell at me!" Fai announced, walking back out into the main area of his small home,

"Go back out the way you came in. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your voice. I want _nothing _to _do_ with you."

"I'm just trying to…"

"I don't care. Leave me alone."

The raven had dropped the bag, and his shoes were off already. He followed Fai as the male returned to the kitchen to put away more cans.

"I'm serious, okay? _I'm sorry. _I don't know you, so I shouldn't have said it. And even if I _did_ know you, I _still_ shouldn't have said it. And I do hate the word. My cousin is homosexual. So that means I'm a hypocrite for calling you that…"

The blonde sighed.

"Please…If you want to hate me, that's fine. I just don't want it to happen because of something that I said - especially when it was _that_."

"Fai…_Listen to him_…He feels really bad. I can see it," Chi's voice sounded from the kitchen doorway. The blonde sighed again, turning around to face the raven. He was a bit surprised when he fixed his gaze on the males face. The ever present scowl had let up a bit, and the raven really _did _look sorry. Fai turned himself back around, his back to the male.

"Get out of my kitchen. You don't have to leave the apartment, just leave the room. Give me a little time here," the blonde muttered, gripping his counter. Kurogane didn't answer, but he complied. Chi followed him back to the main room, plopping down on Fai's bed. To most, it seemed like an odd place, to have your bed in the middle of the room. But when you thought about it, Fai had planned his small home out rather well. With the bed being in the middle of the room, you could come home, and plop down onto the bed. If you were sick, you could see the television from the bed easily. And the bathroom and kitchen weren't as far away if you just sat on the bed.

Kurogane headed for the door, and crouched down to his backpack. He began riffling through it. Chi watched him, curious.

"Are you going home?"

"I'm getting out the work."

"It was nice of you to bring it over for him. But why would you have called him such a _terrible word _when you don't even _know _him?" That made her wonder. She'd never seen something like that happen before.

"…I was trying to get him to keep away. The Principal of our school keeps telling me to meet new people. To become friends with new people. But my own group of friends is rather…Well, one member in particular is a real idiot. He acts like he's a touch guy, but he's not. Not _really_ anyway."

"I don't understand…Why would you…?"

"…I'm not a good guy. I used to be, but I'm not anymore. Things changed, and so did I…And I don't think I'm the type of person Fai wants to be around. If he got to knowing me, he'd learn that for himself."

"But you won't let him _try_ to know you?"

"Believe me, he _really_ doesn't want to. Besides…My friends and I tend to stick to the group. No one comes in without a trial, and it's rare that someone is cast out. We're a bunch of trouble. We have been for a while now."

"Shouldn't that make you _want_ to meet new people?"

"…" In truth, Kurogane wouldn't mind knowing Fai. Having someone outside of the _trouble_ that he could talk to. Maybe he could trust him in the way that he trusted Syaoran.

_Or maybe he would be an asshole and hurt the blonde so badly that he'd hate him forever._

"You worry, don't you?" Chi questioned, knowingly,

"A part of you wants to know him. But…You're afraid to try. If you get to close, you might just end up hurting him. You're aware of your anger problem…And you don't want to hurt him because you got too mad." She paused, and smiled,

"Am I right?"

"…" The raven looked to her, dumbfounded.

"I thought so. You don't need to worry so much. You can't live your life on _what if's _and _maybes. _If you never try something, then how do you know that it couldn't work out?"

The blonde had worked his way back into the kitchen doorway, and was leaning against it now.

"Besides…Fai is a good guy. _He always has been. _He was there for me whenever I needed him…He was there for Sakura whenever she needed him…He takes care of everyone. _It's what he does. _He's just too _loving _for his own good." Chi's smile was sad,

"He can be difficult to understand sometimes. But everyone can be."

Kurogane was still watching her. She seemed to know so much about Fai, and life in general. She was protective of him, and that was clear.

"I think…" She continued, snapping his from his reverie,

"That you two should get to know one another. Give each other a _chance. _Whatever happens, happ--"

"_Happens. _You'll know the reason sooner or later," someone else finished the quote, sighing.

"You really are her daughter, aren't you? Using her quotes and everything."

Kurogane looked to the kitchen doorway, where Fai was standing. Chi smiled,

"Of course. She was so smart and kind…And musical, of course. You're so much like her yourself, Fai…"

"Are you calling me a _girl_?" He teased, stepping into the room. Chi giggled, and turned her eyes to the raven on the floor for a moment, before she looked back to the blonde. She raised her eyebrows, hinting. Fai turned his attention to Kurogane, and approached him carefully. When he was standing before him, he offered out a small -slightly guilty looking- smile.

"How's your head?"

"It's fine," the raven mumbled, looking away. He was still feeling ashamed of himself for having said the word. Fai sighed, and reached out a hand. Gently, he ran his hand across the top of Kurogane's head, his fingers sliding through his hair along the way. He found it strange, that the males hair was so soft, when it was spiky…How weird, that it stood up like that naturally. _How cute…_

"Wow, I must have hit you hard…It's a little _swollen_…" Fai murmured, surprised,

"I'm sorry." He didn't know his own strength sometimes…

"I said it's fine," the raven mumbled again,

"…Why are your hands so cold?"

"I don't know…They've always been this way," the blonde answered,

"Bothering you?"

"…No…Numbs the swelling…_Feelskindofgood_," he pressed the rest of it together, out of embarrassment for having to admit to it. Fai's hand continued to glide along the top of his head, cooling one area, and moving along to the next.

"Must be hard to believe some of the things Chi was saying…Especially after I punched you…"

"Deserved it," Kurogane answered, still looking kind of guilty.

"I just _really hate _that word. My _Father_ calls me that all the time." This threw Kurogane off, so he turned his eyes back to the blonde, who wore a small, sad smile.

"He hates me for who I am. He thinks I _chose_ to be…Well, you know. I didn't chose this. I wouldn't have chosen to be different, and to have people hate me for…" Fai stopped his hand movement, and pulled himself away - gently.

"Sorry. I'm babbling away about nothing."

Kurogane caught the males wrist,

"That's not nothing…I-I didn't know…_I'm sorry_…"

"…Please don't make that face," Fai pleaded, placing his free hand in the males hair, cooling the swollen area on his head once more,

"You look like a kicked puppy…"

Kurogane tried to relax. Slowly, he released the blondes wrist and watched as the male sighed, and headed for the direction of the kitchen. As Fai began to scrounge his cupboards, he fell into his habit, and began to hum. The raven recognized the song.

"What is that?"

"Hm?" The blonde paused in what he was doing and looked to the male.

"The song…What is it?"

Fai smiled,

"Something I wrote a long time ago. It's called Only Hope…" The blonde began searching his cupboards again,

"Tea, or coffee?"

"He's asking you," Chi informed the raven,

"He knows me too well."

"Coffee," Kurogane finally managed to answer.

"Alright," Fai's voice answered him. The male remained in the kitchen for a while. They could hear him humming away…He was around a corner, so they couldn't see him. The minutes passed and silence seemed to take over. The kettle began to whistle. It screamed. It didn't seem to want to _stop…_

"Fai? The kettle is going off…" Chii called.

_No answer._

"Fai? The kettle is…" She stood, looking a bit panicked,

"F-Fai?" She hurried around the corner, into the kitchen,

"Oh no! Fai?! _FAI_!" She took the kettle off of the stove, and moved it over to another area - quickly. Then she crouched beside the blonde,

"FAI! Open your eyes!"

Kurogane had gotten up, and was working his way to the kitchen. He was getting scared. Chi sounded terrified…As he rounded the corner, he understood why.

_Fai had collapsed._

**--**

**(A.N: I felt bad that Kurogane had been such a jerk, and Kurogane felt bad about it too! But oh, what is this? Of course my fanfic couldn't be all rainbows and butterflies…You guys know me better than THAT by now of course. Something is wrong with Fai. Why? Because I'm a twisted soul, and you people love me -Nod.- I love you guys, I really do…So please R&R?)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**(A.N: OOC Warning. Alright, so, your questions will be answered in this chapter, don't worry. And I made this one a little fact…Full…Yeah, it's a word, in my head…Shut-up. I also tried to lighten things up with some humour…And of course there's some cuteness as well. 'Cause I love you people. **_'These are thoughts.' _**Dashes are time passing, or scene changes. You know the drill. R&R? Please?)**

**--**

"Here," Chi's voice reached his ears as she placed a cup of coffee on the bedside table. He muttered a thanks, but didn't move. After the panic, he had carefully lifted Fai - who, he discovered, was rather light - and placed the male in bed. He had then situated himself in a chair at the males bedside.

_He hadn't moved from that spot since._

Chi had brought him a coffee, which took him an hour to get through. He could barely get himself to drink it. She seemed to understand though, so she kept reheating it for him.

There was a soft groan. Kurogane snapped back into reality. The blonde before him still had his eyes closed, but he was moving. He continuously shifted in bed, as if he were uncomfortable. As if he were in _pain…_

"Fai?" Chi was at his bedside in a rather quick movement. The blonde groaned again. He sounded like he was _suffering…_

Without thinking, Kurogane reached out. He took one of Fai's slender, cool hands into one of his own slightly bigger, warmer ones.

"Fai?" His voice was light, and gentle. He noticed that the blondes restlessness seemed to fade a bit…

"Fai?" He stroked his thumb over the back of the males hand, absentmindedly,

"You're okay…We're here…" They were words of comfort. Words he wasn't even sure the blonde was hearing. But he felt like saying them might help.

Fai's fingers curled around Kurogane's hand. He sighed in his sleep, sounding relieved. His restless tossing and turning had stopped. He seemed content.

"Wow…" Chi whispered, looking rather surprised. Her eyes went from her brother to the raven - who looked confused.

"What?" His attention turned back to the blonde who was still fast asleep.

"No one has been able to do that for him in a long time," Chi stated, still rather surprised.

"Do what?" Kurogane's eyes stayed on Fai, but his words were directed at the males sister.

"Calm him down when he gets…Well…How he was just a moment ago…"

"…"

"You're the first one since…" She paused, not sure just how much her brother wanted this stranger to know. He was so new to the blondes life…

"Since…?"

"…Since our Mother and brother passed away…" She hadn't had enough time to think it through. She had just decided for herself that he could know about what they'd lost. It was up to Fai to give the raven details when he thought the time was right.

"…" The raven hadn't known anything about that. He'd come to the conclusion that Chi and Fai were related, for they'd spoken of their Mother in the past tense. He'd also understood that they spoke of her that way because she had died. But he didn't know they'd lost their brother too…

"What happened…To them?" He choked on the question a little. He felt kind of _nosy…_

"Well…Mom got cancer," Chi didn't bother with specifying where the cancer had been,

"She was sick for a long time, before she finally passed away. And our brother…_Yuui_," she struggled with the name,

"He…He had an illness."

"An illness?"

"Doctors don't really have a name for it…But it weakens the body…Causes it to deteriorate from the inside…There are pills that help to prevent that though…And, by what they've seen, if patients can reach nineteen, then their chances of survival jump dramatically."

"…Why nineteen?"

"They don't know. But all of the cases that they've seen where the patient ended up healed, had happened when the patient hit nineteen. They think it has something to do with the body…The illness takes a solid form at that point I suppose, and they're able to see it…" Chi looked to her brother,

"Fai needs to hit that age, and keep living…"

"…Fai has the same illness?"

Chi nodded sadly. She had hated losing one brother. To lose both…That would _kill_ her.

"I was the first born, though I don't seem it at all sometimes…And then came Yuui, then Fai."

"I don't understand why your parents would have had Fai, if Yuui got sick…"

Chi didn't answer. She just wandered over to her purse, and pulled out a small photo album. Bringing it to Kurogane, she opened it. The first image she showed him, was a man and a woman. The male looked similar to Fai, and the woman looked almost _identical _to Chi.

'_Their parents,' _he realized, and she noticed. She flipped the page.

Three blondes. Two males, and one female - which was very clearly the girl standing next to him. But the males…A part of his brain registered that one was Fai. The blonde hair, the startling blue eyes, the fair skin, and lithe, tall form…

"…Twins?"

"Identical," Chi answered, nodding,

"They were _always_ together."

"The one on the right is this one, isn't it?" As he said it, he nodded in Fai's direction. Surprise crossed Chi's face once more,

"…You were able to tell them apart…"

"…"

"When I had both of them around, I _always_ got them mixed up. They never got mad at me for it though. They knew that it was nearly impossible to tell them apart. They would always switch places at school too. What one was bad at, the other excelled in. So, they often swapped for tests…And their teachers _still_ don't know."

The raven found himself smiling a little. Chi went to return her album to her purse. Fai's free hand came to his mouth, covering it, as he began coughing.

"Fai?" His sister was questioning him on her way back to his bedside. He answered by coughing again, a little harder this time. When it finally subsided, his half-lidded eyes found Chi.

"Where are your pills?"

"Bathroom cabinet…Above the sink…" His voice sounded hoarse, even to himself.

"I'll get them, and I'll make you some tea, okay?"

He nodded absentmindedly. She wandered into the kitchen to get the kettle started. It took Fai a minute to understand that one of his hands felt warm. He wasn't sure why it was warm. That was unusual for him. He didn't understand…Until he looked to his hand. With his free hand, he pulled his covers up, over his head.

"…What are you doing?"

"_Dying, _I hope." The blonde had never felt so _shy_ before.

_But Kurogane was holding his hand…_

"That isn't funny," the raven growled. There wasn't an answer, so he sighed, releasing the blonde. Chi returned shortly afterwards with tea and two pills. Her brother sat himself up in bed, leaning against the wall. His sister set the tea down on his bedside table and handed him the two pills. Sighing, he picked up his tea, and popped the pills into his mouth. With a drink from his cup, he allowed the pills to roll down his throat.

"When did you last take your pills?" Chi questioned, her brow furrowing slightly.

Her brother avoided the question by taking another drink of his tea.

"You can't hide behind that forever you know," she grumbled.

Still no answer. Just drinking from his cup…

"_Fai D. Flourite."_

"…" He pulled his covers off carefully, and wandered into his kitchen, to pour himself another cup of hot water for his tea. Chi sighed,

"Stubborn as ever."

"Heard that," Fai's voice answered from the kitchen, stirring his drink.

"_Good! _I swear, sometimes I feel like I have to get someone over here everyday, just to keep an eye on you. You can be so _difficult_ _and reckless _when you're all alone."

"…I wouldn't want to force anyone to stay here all the time with me. I care barely stand this place myself."

"Then why not get a new apartment?"

"It isn't the apartment. This just doesn't feel like home to me."

"Well, if it isn't the apartment…What is it?"

"…I'm not sure. It just doesn't feel like home to me."

"Fai, anywhere that requires you to be alone for more than a day, feels strange to you," Chi countered, knowing her brother well.

She was answered by the male drinking his tea once more.

"So maybe if you hurry up and get a _boyfriend, _you can move in with him, and _then_ you'll feel like you have a place to call _home_."

Fai managed to swallow his drink, and put the cup back onto the counter, but he still wound up coughing over his sink. _Damn_ his sister and her _all too knowing _way of looking at things. He liked that she understood him, but did she have understand him that much? _It was almost unsettling…_

"You alright?" The ravens voice was in the kitchen doorway. The blonde cleared his throat, and erected his body once more, picking up his tea,

"Fine."

Fai was thinking again. He'd remembered putting the kettle onto the stove. He also remembered humming as he waited for it to heat up the water. He'd gotten a migraine. He'd turned himself around, with every intention of returning to his sister and the raven…But as he'd taken the step, his world blurred, and he had felt himself falling. The darkness had hit when he reached the floor.

_So how had he gotten to bed?_

He had no recollection of walking. Had he woken? Had they half dragged him to his mattress? He didn't know for sure…

"Fai?"

Hearing his name, he turned his head to face Chi.

"See? This is why I don't like you living alone! You get so zoned out sometimes…And you avoid your medication. It's like you _have_ to be around someone in order to _stay alive_."

"I'm fine, Chi."

She _didn't_ look _convinced._

Sighing, she softened her expression,

"Fai…I don't think _collapsing_ is a sign of being _fine_."

"…You can't stay here though…And I can't come and stay with you. You _know_ that. You and your boyfriend are happy together, and I don't want to intrude on your lives."

"Can't a friend stay with you?"

"Sakura can't. She's living at home, and has her own issues to deal with. Her Dad thinks I'm too _young_ to live alone…"

Chi didn't speak, but her expression said it all.

"And then, I don't really know Watanuki and Doumeki that well…But I'm pretty sure that if one of them stayed, there would be rumors. I don't want to cause problems for them," he ignored the expressions that crossed her face. He drank some more tea while he waited. Chi sighed, thinking. But her thoughts went through at rapid speed, and she grinned. Leaning against the counter, so that she could see her brothers reaction better, she uttered her thoughts,

"Well, what about _Kurogane?_"

Fai's eyes went big, and he choked on his drink. His cup found the counter, as he continued to cough. His sister had a wicked smile plastered onto her face, and he knew she'd planned that out. In the background, the raven had moved out of the doorway. He was standing, leaning against the wall, outside of the kitchen, where they couldn't see him.

"Stop trying to kill me!" The blonde announced, panting slightly from choking on his drink.

"Well, _why not _Kurogane?"

"He and I barely _know_ one another!"

"You seem to get along alright though," Chi noted, grinning,

"I mean, you and I discussed this topic already--"

"_CHI!" _

"But then there's also _his_ side of it. I mean, he's the one who carried you to your bed after you collapsed…"

Fai paused. He hadn't known about that.

"Aha, I hit a mark," his sister teased, heading to the kettle on the stove. She poured herself a cup of hot water, for her own tea.

"…" Her brother was speechless as he stared into the sink. Kurogane had carried him back to his bed? The raven must have been extremely gentle with him, because he hadn't felt a thing. He tried to keep his cheeks from turning pink.

_The raven had cared enough to…_

He cleared his throat, trying to clear his mind,

"Chi, you need to give it a rest, really."

Kurogane had stepped back into the kitchen doorway, having regained control of his composure.

"I'm telling you, I'm fine." As if to prove his point, Fai turned himself around. He stepped away from the counter, and felt a familiar pounding in his head. Ignoring it, he took another step, trying to keep his stride smooth. However, upon his third step, his world blurred, and once again, the floor seemed to slide from underneath his feet.

But this time, when he hit, he hit something softer. Firm, but softer. He was hoisted into the air, and cradled against a body.

"So much for being _fine_," the raven muttered, and the blonde blushed as he slowly gained enough consciousness to realize where he was.

"I…I, uh…I'm--"

"Incapable of _walking, _apparently," Kurogane's voice told him, as he walked back into the main room to set Fai back in bed.

"…Aren't I heavy? At all?" It didn't feel like the raven was putting any effort into carrying him. He could barely feel the male walking as he held him either…

"Che. Yeah _right. _It's like picking up a _backpack, _are you sure you're even at a healthy _weight?_"

The blonde didn't bother with answering, because he was too focused on the words. Like lifting a backpack? That wasn't much of a task…And for someone as powerfully built as Kurogane happened to be, it seemed like it was even _less_ of a challenge. As Fai began to - once again - realize where he was, he couldn't stop the blush from spreading over his cheeks.

Kurogane shifted him to one arm, and with his free hand, he pulled back Fai's covers. It didn't even feel like he was _trying…_

The raven set him down, gently.

"Th-Thanks."

"Whatever," he mumbled, returning to the seat he'd been in earlier.

**--**

"Ooi. Ooi, wake up."

"…Don't want to…" The voice was tired, and the owner of said voice was groggy and miserable. He _hated _mornings. He didn't want to be woken up.

"Ooi. Tomorrow is a P.A. Day. Today is the last day for the week. _Get up_." He wasn't one for going to school and being there on a daily basis, but he'd been left in charge of the blonde - because of the males sister - so he didn't want to be blamed if the male missed another day.

"I'll drive myself, go away." He wasn't a morning person, at all, and it showed.

"Bullshit, I saw you turn off your alarm."

"Too early to talk. Go away." He snuggled deeper into his covers.

"…Are your tires any good?"

The blonde sighed, frustrated,

"Decent, as long as the weather is good. Rain and snow hate _me and _my car."

"Then I'll drive you."

"…Why?"

Instead of answering, the raven pulled open the curtains. Fai finally opened his eyes, and peeked from under his blankets. There was a _downpour. _Rain was splattering itself against the window, and thunder roared in the distance. Sighing, the blonde finally sat up. There was no way in hell his car would make it to the school without causing a collision. He didn't know why his tires sucked as badly as they happened to, he just knew that getting new ones would be time consuming, and so he never bothered.

He reluctantly pulled himself out of his bed, and grabbed some fresh clothes, heading for the washroom.

Twenty minutes later he was ready to go, and Kurogane was standing at the door, holding the blondes bag. Fai pulled on his shoes first, and then took his bag with a soft, 'thanks,' to which the raven simply grunted with a nod of his head. They went down two flights of stairs and out to Kurogane's car.

Fai was sure he would know Kurogane's car anywhere. It was big. It was black.

It was a Hummer SUV.

The blonde shook his head from side to side slowly. He was hoping the raven's _ego _didn't turn out to be as big as his _vehicle_ happened to be. The lithe male climbed into his seat - choosing the front passenger seat - and pulled on his seatbelt. The taller, tan male beside him set his keys in the ignition, and the monster they were nestled inside of, roared to life - causing Fai to jump.

The ride in general wasn't too bad. The blonde managed to mutter that he was sorry for being angry first thing in the morning, and quickly explained that he'd always been that way - _not a morning person. _Kurogane had nodded in agreement and told him that he hadn't really cared that Fai had been a little snippy. They didn't talk much at first. But the question was bothering the blonde, so he cleared his throat,

"Uh…Kurogane?" He wasn't even sure if he should be calling him by his first name…But he imagined the male didn't hate him to the point where he'd want him on a last name basis only.

"What?" The raven kept his eyes on the road, stopping at a red light.

"Well…I was wondering about something…"

Kurogane saw the light turning green again, and pressed the gas pedal. He didn't answer, but he was listening.

"And, what I wonder is…Why did you stay last night?"

"…" The raven remembered a little _too well why_ he had stayed at Fai's house. He'd stayed long enough to get the male caught up in his work, and then had claimed he was going home. Chi - Fai's sister - had followed him out the door - grabbing her brothers house key, and announcing she was walking Kurogane down to the main floor, and would need a way back in the main doors downstairs. Which had been, of course, her lie. She had indeed walked with the male…But…

"Kurogane?"

"Your sister," the male answered, snapping out of his trance,

"She held open the main door downstairs so that she wouldn't get locked out, and handed me the key. She told me that someone had to stay with you, and that you…" He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

"That I…?" Fai was nervous. He hoped Chi hadn't said _too _much…

"That you wouldn't _mind, _if I was the one who stayed."

There had been a lot of emphasis on the word. The blondes cheeks lit up a little in response. He nestled himself deeper into the car seat,

"Thank you…For staying."

He would almost swear he saw the hint of the ravens smile…

**--**

**(A.N: Kind of lead away from the leukemia idea, and went with something else…I know made-up diseases are lame and all, but I don't want to use leukemia. Besides, I need this sickness, in order to make my fanfic work later on in the story. I'm sorry the update was a little slow, I'll try to update again soon. R&R?)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

**(A.N: Hey guys! I'm updating again! Sorry about my other fan fictions and their current lack-of-updating. Oops. But I had this in my head, and I thought you guys would enjoy it. I went to see Valentine's Day, so I was in a very lovey-dovey type of mood…By the way, it was a GOOD MOVIE, in case you were wondering. Also, I recommend the song Today was a Fairytale by Taylor Swift. Definitely cute. ****MAJOR OOC WARNING.**_**This means singing. **__**(THERE MAY SOME MOMENTS WHERE I BOLD AND ITALIC A THOUGHT - BUT YOU'LL KNOW IT'S A THOUGHT). **_**Dashes are scene changes or time passing **- **you guys know the drill! R&R? Appreciate it!)**

**--**

He should have known that - even though his action had not been a _choice_ - there would still be consequences to face.

"Why did you ride to school with him?" She was still demanding an answer, and no matter how many times he assured her that it hadn't meant anything, and that the raven had given him the ride because his tires happened to be better than the ones on his own car happened to be…She wouldn't listen. Watanuki didn't really seem mad, just confused. He and Doumeki stood off to the side. They watched their friends, as the blonde grew desperate, and Sakura grew frustrated.

"It was Chi's fault though!" Fai protested,

"She _made_ him stay with me last night!"

"…" Sakura didn't speak. Her eyes were wild, and her brow furrowed deeply.

"…Oh…" He hadn't meant to blurt that out. But there was no taking it back now…

"He…Stayed…_WHERE?!_"

Fai raised his hands, palms out to his friend, as if he was surrendering. He tried to laugh it off, but the sound was nervous and it didn't come out the way he'd hoped it would.

_He was so dead._

"FAI D. FLOURITE! YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT KUROGANE SUWA STAYED AT YOUR _HOUSE?!_"

"It was no big deal…" He tried to wave it off, but his friend was _fuming. _Watanuki sighed and shook his head from side to side. Sometimes Sakura was so irrational that it _shocked_ him. Part of him felt bad for Fai…Another part of him was glad that he himself wasn't in the blondes shoes. A hand touched his left shoulder, and he turned to face Doumeki. But the taller, tan male wasn't facing him. He was looking off down the nearly vacant hallway.

_Oh no…_

"Do we warn them?" Watanuki wondered aloud, and Doumeki faced him. The male turned his attention to Sakura for a moment, and then he looked to his boyfriend once more,

"If you want to get into the middle of _that, _be my guest."

Watanuki didn't move towards them. He knew that was a dangerous idea, so he just turned to look at the approaching raven, unsure of whether or not he should be saying anything. He doubted Sakura would hear him over her rage anyways.

When Kurogane had entered her peripheral vision, she finally released Fai from her death glare and instead fixed it on the raven. He noticed her expression. He just didn't appear to _care._

"Your _boyfriend_ is coming," Sakura growled. The blonde flushed at the mere idea behind her words, and cleared his throat.

"He isn't…He's not…We're not, uh…"

"Ooi."

Fai turned to look at the male.

"Uh…" He cleared his throat,

"I'm still driving you home, right?"

The blonde nodded silently.

"_Fai…" _Sakura's voice was dripping with venom from behind him.

**--**

The blonde was sitting at a piano, with his friend standing beside him, watching him like a hawk. She kept trying to speak to him, but every time she tried to make him sound like some sort of _criminal_…He started playing songs. Finally, she became fed up with trying and went to sit with Watanuki.

"Aren't you being a _little_ hard on him?" The male wondered, glancing at his emerald eyed companion, who shook her head vehemently.

"You don't know Fai the way I do. He's going to become addicted too quickly…And Kurogane is going to tear his heart out of his chest when he lets him know he has _no interest _in being with him…" Her glare softened, and her features turned sad,

"Am I selfish for wanting to _protect_ him?"

"Well…No…I don't think you're being _selfish _Sakura…I think…I think you're going about it the _wrong way, _that's all. I mean, I know you don't want Fai to get hurt…But, wouldn't you rather that he learned his lesson on his own? I mean! If you keep on pushing him now, he's just going to shove away from you more and more. However, if you let him figure things out for himself, and he ends up _heartbroken_…Well, it seems only natural that - as his best friend - _you_ would be the person he turned to."

"I don't want him involved with someone like…"

"Sakura…" Watanuki shook his head from side to side, slowly,

"He's a big boy. He can handle himself…"

"But what if they _do_ fall for each other?!"

"Well…There's only one quote I can think of to answer your question with; Whatever happens, _happens._"

Sakura sighed. There was a melody of piano notes drifting throughout the classroom, and the emerald eyed girl couldn't help but watch the blonde as he played. The music always seemed to be so sad. But, she guessed she couldn't blame him. He had lost two very important people in his life…And now he only had one relative left. Well…Only one who _cared_ about him anyways. He had another member to his family…But he stayed away from _him._

As the tones rang out, and their peers flooded out the door and the next group came in, Sakura braced herself. She knew Kurogane was going to be among this group, and something about him made her stomach go raw. But it was most likely the fact that her best friend was in the raven's _stupid_ _gang…_

**--**

He entered the room quietly, and dumped his bag against the wall. He was surprised to find that he was going unnoticed by Fai's crazed female companion who seemed to hate him with every fiber of her being…

Not wasting his time, he approached the blonde, who was finishing a song on the piano. When he reached him, the blue eyes focused on him almost instantly. It was shocking…The male seemed so _aware_ of his presence…

"Uh…Hey," the raven mumbled slightly awkwardly. He didn't know how to make conversation too well in front of people he didn't know, and / or didn't like. In this case, that would be pretty much everyone in this room…_Excluding_ the blonde.

"Hello," Fai's voice greeted him easily, and the male smiled a bit. He was clearly trying to be of some comfort. Kurogane cleared his throat,

"I uh…I was wondering if you could give me a hand with some work…"

"French is just _not_ your _thing, _is it?" Fai chided, standing.

The raven shrugged, trying not to focus on the blonde too much. He wasn't trying to be ignorant. He was just really lost in his thoughts at the moment. _He had heard things. _Things he was sure he wasn't _supposed_ to hear. As the lithe blonde followed alongside him to the wall where he'd dropped his bag, he tried not to look at him. When they sat down beside each other, the raven pulled out his homework and flipped it open to the page he'd been trying to work on. The blonde looked down to the page, reading in silence.

_He couldn't help but notice things about the male._

His hair was medium length, and a beautiful shade of blonde…His skin was pale and cold to the touch…It was almost as if he'd been carved out of ice…The male was also tall - though not _nearly_ as tall he himself happened to be. Lithe, slender…

And his eyes. The raven was sure he could say _hundreds_ of things about the blonde males eyes. They were a brilliant shade of blue. Focused on you when you spoke, and held more secrets then the beholder would _dare_ to utter. They made him all the more captivating.

_But there was __**a lot more **__than just his appearance._

Kurogane was beginning to see that the male had a rather _endearing_ personality. He was sensitive, but sometimes, he brushed it off, as if it didn't phase him. Even though it _did. _He kept things to himself as well, most likely out of fear. But he was almost…_Magical. _He had a voice like an angel, and he played piano well enough to bring his audience to tears. He was artistic and hard to understand at times, but the raven was working him out. Breaking down the things he did and creating mental notes as he went.

"Kuro-rin?" A cool finger poked the side of his forehead,

"You went off to another world…It's no wonder you're failing math," the blonde teased.

The tan male blinked in confusion, and turned his head to face the male. He knew he couldn't have dreamt this figure into life. He wasn't a strange part of his imagination. Fai was a real person that the raven knew…

_And he __**knew**__ the male was __**dying.**_

"I uh…Sorry," he muttered, looking back down to his page. The blonde smiled, and pointed to the words the male had been confused about,

"The teacher is trying to give you a hint."

"What does it say?"

Fai spoke the sentence in French, then giggled - Kurogane added that to his mental list of reasons behind his fascination with the male.

"It says; _Get a tutor._"

**--**

They pulled out of the student parking lot.

"Your friends didn't look too happy about me being in your car," the blonde noted, looking guilty.

"Tough," Kurogane answered, shrugging. Fai's guilt eased out of his face, and he smiled a little timidly,

"You never play music when we're in the car together. _I noticed. _If you're worried about whether or not I'll like it, then you should know by now that it will be nearly _impossible_ for you to find a song that I hate."

Kurogane sighed,

"It's off because the last person I was in the car with was _Tomoyo. _I have no idea what station she left it on either…She's such a _pain._"

Fai didn't answer. He kept on smiling, but his heart had sunk down into his stomach. And now his stomach acids were slowly but gradually burning it up into a nothingness. The process was _nearly_ a physical pain…

_Tomoyo._

_A __**girls**__ name._

Kurogane reached out, and turned on the music. He wasn't surprised to hear some girl singing about some guy and how totally in love she'd been with him until he ripped her heart out. He sighed, and changed the station.

Another girl, singing about a guy. He remembered this song, he'd heard it on the radio numerous times before. He was going to change the station again when he realized that there was another voice singing the words - though this voice was a lot quieter.

"_**My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing;**_

_**You cut me open;**_

_**And I, keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding, love;**_

_**I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding, love;**_

_**Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding, love;**_

_**You cut me open…"**_

Realizing that he was singing along, the blonde paused. He cleared his throat,

"You can change it now, if you want. I think I spend too much time with my _sister_," he kept his eyes locked on the passenger side window. He was staring out at _nothing._

"…Something tells me your sister _wasn't _the one to get you into the song," the raven answered, changing the station.

"…What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that I think you're using your sister as reason to be listening to break up music."

The blonde didn't answer. He just kept staring out at the nothingness. He was a little surprised when the nothingness became a familiar apartment building. He _knew_ this place.

_He lived here._

_His live-in studio._

A new wave of sadness washed over him. The waves hit him, choked him, took away his air. Threatened to _drown_ him.

"You okay?" Kurogane's voice was nearby, and he almost sounded concerned. _**Almost. **__But not quite._

"Fai?" _There, _a spark of concern…A little _worry…_

"_Ooi! _Fai! What's the matter?!" There it was. _The panic. _He wasn't speaking, so the raven now assumed the worst. The male exited the car and appeared at the blondes door, ripping it open. He unbuckled his seat belt and took hold of his shoulders,

"Fai? What's wrong?" Gentler this time…_Lulling…_

He was only half conscious at the moment. His mind wasn't currently where it should be. It was out of his head - probably on its way down his body, to cover for his heart, seeing as his heart had fallen into his stomach and all.

"…_Fai_…" Tender now. The scowl was light and barely visible. The raven looked worried, but he also looked _confused. _Sighing, he picked up the blondes messenger bag, and slung it over his shoulder. With this completed, he very carefully lifted the blonde out of the car - bridal style. He kicked the car door shut and carried the male to the main building. The blonde had his key in a trembling hand, and Kurogane easily shifted the male to be held in one arm, so that he could take the key and unlock the door. He carried him up two flights of stairs and to his apartment. He unlocked the door, gently placed Fai down on the bed, dropped the males bag on the couch, and went to the window. Pulling out his car keys, he aimed at his car, and saw the lights flash when he hit the button. Locked up. He returned to the blondes bedside and pulled up the same chair as last time, sitting down.

_He waited._

_But nothing was being said._

"Fai…"

"I--!" He wiped his eyes with his sleeve,

"I'm sorry!" He tried to laugh,

"I'm acting like a real idiot!"

The raven didn't speak. He reached out and placed his hand over the back of one of the blondes hands. Sighing, he allowed himself to talk,

"You're right about one thing. You _are_ being an idiot. But the _reason_ you're being an idiot…Well…" He paused for a moment,

"Look. If this has something to do with _Tomoyo_ -" Fai's hand clenched into a little bit of a fist under Kurogane's palm,

" - Then you really _are_ being an idiot." Fai tried to move himself away, feeling idiotic enough for allowing himself to cry in front of the raven. But the male held onto his hand…

"Listen…She's not only a _lesbian_…" Confusion swept over the blondes face.

"But she's also my _cousin._"

"…_Oh_…"

_Wait…_If Kurogane was talking about this with him…Then he knew that the blonde had been crying because he thought he should surrender now, considering he didn't stand a _chance_ with the raven…So didn't that mean that…_He knew? _But that was impossible! He hadn't let him know…And he didn't think Chi would have told him directly…Sakura definitely wouldn't have said anything either…

…_Unless he'd overheard things he __**wasn't **__meant to __**hear…**_

"I'm fine," the blonde finally announced, trying to sound reassuring. But the look on the raven's face told him that he wasn't buying it. The male reached up, and gently wiped away the blondes tears - wordlessly. Fai's heart thundered in his chest. He wasn't sure when it had returned to his chest, but he knew that it was sitting on a very thin line - which felt as though it was made of barbed wire - unsure of whether or not it should drop back into his stomach.

"_Crying_ doesn't seem _fine _to me…" Kurogane murmured. He wasn't even sure what he was _doing. _He was _never_ physical with anyone - _ever. _Unless they were getting their ass kicked…

He also never cared for anyone _crying. _He cared about Tomoyo, but she was his family, so that was different. Sure, he cared about his friends - especially Syaoran, because he was his _best_ friend - but he never really tried to comfort them when they were down. He just told them that whatever had happened, had happened for a reason. He was never sure what the reason was though. But with the blonde…He felt like he needed to _comfort_ him…

Fai couldn't speak. He couldn't find the words he wanted to say. All he could do was watch as the male before him spoke and actually _appeared_ to give a _damn_ about him…

_It was __**mystifying…**_

"Listen…" Kurogane's voice broke their silence, and the blonde nodded once, to show that he was paying attention.

"I've uh…I've _heard_ a few things…"

"…"

"I mean…I didn't _try_ to, or anything…It just kind of _turned out _that way…"

"……_I'm sorry_……" Fai whispered, looking away. His chest hurt. He imagined that thin line his heart was balancing on, was now slowly beginning to slice _through_ it.

"I never…I never intended to act on it though…I mean…I was satisfied with simply _talking_ to you…You're not as bad as Sakura seems to _think_ you are…You're just sort of…_Lost_…" He paused, biting his lip to keep from crying again,

"You hang out with the wrong crowd…Syaoran is a good kid - I know him. You're _both_ trying to be people that you aren't…But I don't understand _why._"

"…"

"I'm rambling, sorry."

"…It's okay."

"…What did you hear?"

"…" He didn't know if he should tell him everything that he had heard. Clearing his throat he spoke up,

"Uh…Well, your sister said something that made me kind of suspicious…You two mentioned me staying at your apartment, and she said something about you having discussed the topic already…"

"We! We didn't talk about me staying with you…We just talked about…" The male blushed and shut himself up. With no further signs of speaking, Kurogane sighed,

"…And then Sakura called me something, and you panicked."

"…" The blush deepened. Sakura had referred to the raven as Fai's _boyfriend. _She hadn't said it _kindly, _either. That cut in his heart was slowly getting deeper and deeper…His heart was going to fall to his stomach again - in _two_ pieces this time. He wondered if that meant that the stomach acids would hurt _twice as much…_

"Listen…"

He flinched slightly, suddenly terrified. He _knew_ what was about to happen, but he couldn't do anything to stop it from _happening. _He wouldn't bother with _trying to, _either. He didn't want to fight, or beg. He didn't want to seem anymore _pathetic_ than he already _felt._

"…I'm not good with this whole…_Kindness, _thing…" Kurogane spoke gently. He had moved his hands away from the blonde, but he felt like he wanted to reach out and touch him…_Hold his hand_…Something, _anything. _As long as the male would be comforted.

"But you're right." Fai looked to him, confused.

"I _do_ hang out with the wrong crowd, but that excludes Syaoran. Your friend seems to think that I started this gang, but that's not true. _Ryuuoh_ started it. He isn't the guy I remember anymore. He thinks he's _tough._" He sighed, shaking his head from side to side,

"That's off topic. I was trying to say something else. I'm…I'm not sure how to _be_ a good guy. I don't look out for anyone, except for my cousin, and Syaoran, and even then, it's limited. But with…" He paused, feeling kind of embarrassed for having to admit to it,

"Butwithyouit'sdifferent."

Fai's cheeks burned, and his heart - which had grabbed on to a thread of hope - pulled itself back up a little, pulling off of the line of barbed wire it had been falling against only moments ago. He had never seen the raven looking shy…It was _adorable. _

"It's…It's like I feel as though I should be…" He sighed again,

"I feel like I should be watching over you. No one _ever_ gets close to me, and I don't pay attention to people who _cry. _But you…I feel like I'd be willing to kick the ass of _anyone_ who dared to harass you. I feel like I want to be able to comfort you - though right now I'm not showing it…And you were worried, about what I would _think, _and what I would _say._"

"…"

"…But you were _ready. _You knew that if I rejected you, then you would have to accept it, and deal. You knew it would kill you inside…But you were prepared for that."

Fai struggled to keep his breathing even. Now would not be a good time to hyperventilate. But the raven was saying the sweetest of things…And showing him that he might actually _mean_ something…The blonde took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. He managed to stand up, and wandered to his window.

"You just keep on luring me in," Kurogane admitted, standing up. He made his way to the window, slowly,

"And I've realized…That I don't give a damn what my friends may _think_ about the people I choose to spend my time around. And that I don't care what they _say_ about the person I choose to be around the _most._"

"…The person you choose to be around the most…" Fai murmured, before turning to face the raven - who was a lot closer than he'd thought he would be. He stammered incoherently for a moment, before he swallowed down his nervousness,

"…So what are you telling me?" His voice came out in a whisper, and Kurogane held his gaze.

"…I'm telling you that, I might kiss you."

"…I might be bad at it," Fai's voice told him, sounding surprised and apprehensive.

He was surprised when the raven reached out one hand, and pressed it to the wall. And even more surprised when the male reached out with his other hand, to brush his fingers across the males cheek. For the first time, Fai was aware of the fact that - though he seemed tough around the edges - Kurogane was soft. His skin was smooth, and soft against the blondes cheek. When the raven rested his palm against his cheek, a small smile crossed his features, and Fai stared.

"That's not, _possible_," Kurogane half-chided. Fai's lips had parted in his surprise of the ravens level of intimacy.

_And Kurogane __**wasn't **__going to waste an opportunity. _

Leaning his head down, he allowed his own lips to brush against the those of the blonde before him. Fai was met with an overwhelming feeling. It swept through him from head to toe in a matter of seconds. He wasn't sure when this had happened either, but, his heart had returned to its proper place, and was now viciously pounding against his chest, as his lips reacted to Kurogane's kiss.

**--**

**(A.N: Okay guys! DONE! Yeah, sorry if you totally hate Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, but I'm a recent addict to the song - I used to hate it too. Anyways, I have worked hard on this chapter, so I hope you all enjoyed it. And Fai is so magical! -Throws sparkles- -Facepalm- Okay, time for me to shut-up now. -Nod- R&R? Love you guys!)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**(A.N: **Yay for a new chapter! It took me a while, because I kept on stopping…I had to think about how I wanted this part to play out. OOC warning! Dashes are time passing, or scene changes. **"This means someone is singing." **R&R?**)**

--

He was sure it was a dream. A damn good dream at that…But a dream no less. Not sure whether or not he should feel happy with what his mind had entertained him with as he slept, or depressed over the fact that it hadn't actually happened, Fai dragged himself out of bed. His thoughts were on Kurogane's little speech as he entered his shower. There was _no way _the raven would have said anything that the blonde remembered hearing.

_So it hadn't been real._

Still…It was nice to pretend. The thought made him happy, and soon enough, he was humming.

**--**

As he came out of his washroom only half dressed, he walked to his radio. He turned it on and checked a few stations before he found a song he knew. It put him in good spirits to hear it too, it was one of those songs that you just had to dance to. He dried his hair quickly and turned up the volume. In no time, he was dancing all around his room, as he hunted for a shirt.

**--**

He wasn't sure if he was welcome here…But he wanted to see him. Yesterday had been so dream like, and he was still slightly embarrassed for having said the things that he'd said…But he didn't regret it.

He'd said what he meant, and he would _not_ take it _back._

He would also _refuse_ to tell him that he'd snuck the spare key out of the blondes house so that he didn't have to buzzer his way back in. At least not today. Today he needed to be able to get to him without any obstacles.

He wasn't sure when he got into the building, or even up the two flights of stairs…But in no time at all, he was outside the males door. He knocked, but there wasn't an answer. Just loud music, and the sound of the male singing and giggling. He took a deep breath and tried opening the door. It seemed _unusual_ that it wasn't locked, but he didn't let the thoughts take hold of him for long. He simply pushed the door open and stepped inside. When he'd closed the door behind himself, he saw who he was looking for.

Fai was dancing around the room, radio blasting, blonde hair still damp from a shower…And _completely shirtless. _The raven removed his shoes as silently as possible, and moved away from the doorway - keeping to the wall. When he was away from the shoes, he sat down, and waited to be noticed.

The blonde was amazing. His slender frame was perfection as he moved himself around the room. The raven didn't expect the next move. On time with the music, the male before him allowed himself to go down low, and come back up in a fluid movement. One you _usually_ only saw on the _big screen. _As the blonde did this, he continued to sing the words:

"…**Alone at the bar," **and once he was up righted again, he returned to his former position of riffling through his closet. The angle in which he was standing, provided the raven - whose presence he was still oblivious to - to see the males back.

And what he saw confused him.

The were lines…Intricate lines that swirled across the males back in the strangest designs…

_And it __**wasn't**__ a __**tattoo.**_

**--**

Fai had done a rather seductive move, and he was personally glad no one had been present to see him dancing around like this. It wasn't something he liked to do around people. It was one of those things he'd rather do when no one was there to watch him, or judge him. And most importantly, there was no one to see his _scars. _His hideous scars that covered the entirety of his back.

As he continued with his wiggling around, he finally found a shirt. But at the same time that he was pulling it off of the hanger…Something wasn't right. He would swear he was being _watched. _As chills ran through him, he pulled the shirt close to his chest. _Please_…Don't let anyone be there…Especially because they could see…

He kept singing, to keep up the air of nothing being wrong,

"**She wants to touch me, whoa! She wants to love me whoa-oh! She'll never leave me whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Oh-oh!**

**Don't trust a hoe!"** He closed his eyes and spun around as he sang,

"**Never trust," **his eyes opened,

"**A hoe**--oh my god…" He clutched the shirt closer to his chest. Not only had someone caught him dancing around to a _ridiculous_ song about _hoe trusting_…But on top of that, they'd seen his scars. His _grotesque_ scars…And to make matters worse…

…_He was staring at __**Kurogane.**_

Realizing that the male was still watching him with confused and curious eyes, the blonde bolted into bathroom, slamming the door behind himself. He was in there a moment, struggling with the shirt, applying deodorant…Trying to _breathe._

_Kurogane_…Of all people in the world, why did it have to be _him? _Why did he have to see how _ugly_ Fai truly _was?_

Pulling on the shirt - which was useless now, because the damage was already done - the blonde sighed. He pulled the bathroom door open and wandered out to the main room. The raven hadn't budged. He still looked confused, and now there was a hint of worry in his eyes.

"…You okay?" The deep voice wondered aloud shortly after catching sight of the blonde.

"Fine," he answered, going to the radio and turning it off. He headed into his kitchen.

"Mad at me?"

"What for?" The blondes voice called out. He sounded upset…

"I don't know…Sneaking into your house…Catching you dancing around…?"

"…I'm fine. Confused as to how you got in here in the _first_ place…But fine."

"I uh…I may have…Stolenthespare," Kurogane muttered, looking down to his socked feet. He was blushing a little. Good lord, he would never allow anyone else to see him in the ways that he let the blonde see him. He glanced to the kitchen doorway.

"Didn't make any copies and hand them out to your friends now, did you?" Fai teased half heartedly. He was smiling, but it didn't touch his eyes. It was a lying smile…_A mask. _

_Something was terribly wrong._

"No," the raven mumbled the answer, standing. He leaned against the wall,

"So…What's bothering you then? If you're being honest about not being angry with me, that is."

"Nothing is, why do you ask?" Fake confusion. Fake. _Fake. _

_A lying smile._

Irritation traveled through him quickly, but he shoved his anger aside. He would not get violent with Fai…Not unless it was absolutely, by all means, necessary. Instead, he worked his way over to him, and when he was in front of him, he allowed himself to set his scowl on him.

"You're lying. Something is wrong."

"I have no idea what you mean Kurogane."

"I have two pieces of proof to support me. So you mind as well stop lying."

The blonde re-entered his kitchen and went to get his kettle,

"Oh? And your evidence would be…?"

"Point one, which just occurred, would be the fact that you called me by name."

"I don't see that as proof--"

"--You used a nickname last time I saw you," the ravens voice cut him off.

_A falter in the lying smile. _

"And my second piece of evidence, would be that smile of yours. You have this big, fake smile plastered onto your face as though it might save you from whatever it is you're trying to get away from. It doesn't touch your eyes, at all. It just makes you look sad."

Fai put his kettle down on the counter. The smile fell away.

"The _truth. _What's wrong?" Kurogane leaned against the kitchens doorframe. The blonde stared down at his kettle. Sighing, he closed his eyes,

"You saw them…Didn't you…?" He paused for a moment before he decided to continue with the question,

"…The scars…"

"…" The raven smiled a little at this. If that was all that was bothering him, then he could relax again.

Nothing was truly wrong.

"Is that all?" He wondered aloud. Fai whipped around to face him. Kurogane didn't look bothered in the slightest. One eyebrow was raised in question, and two ruby orbs watched the blonde in confusion.

"…It doesn't…_Bother_ you…?"

"What, having scars?"

He flinched unintentionally, and looked back to the kettle.

"…No. No, it doesn't bother me. No one is perfect."

"Most people don't have a back covered in _scars_ either," the blonde answered, glaring at his kettle. He wasn't sure he wanted his tea anymore.

"But everyone is flawed," the raven pointed out,

"So you have scars on your back. _Big deal. _I've seen a lot worse."

"You have?" The voice was curious now.

"I've seen people with burnt faces…Raw, scarring skin on various parts of their bodies…I've seen people who've had their eyes gouged out…You name it, I've probably already seen it. And besides," he sighed,

"I've got my scars too. But mine are from scraps."

"Why do you fight people anyways?" The blonde wondered, turning to face the raven.

"They say things they shouldn't," he shrugged. Fai walked over to him slowly, until he was standing in front of him,

"Doesn't everyone do that though?" He questioned, smiling a bit - a real smile this time. He poked the raven in the chest,

"Well~?"

The ravens hands lifted, and cupped themselves around Fai's face. Liking the surprise that passed over the blondes features, he smiled, before lowering his head down to kiss the male gently.

**--**

Fai's eyes grew wide.

Was he still asleep? He was pretty sure he'd woken up already. Hadn't he gotten out of bed and showered? Had he collapsed somewhere? His lips were reacting to the kiss, and when the raven pulled away, he saw the expression on the blondes face and was instantly confused.

"What's wrong?"

"…Trying to figure out where I collapsed."

"…What?"

"I think I'm still sleeping," Fai explained. He wandered to into the main room of his house and saw his bed was empty. And he wasn't lying in the living room, or on the kitchen floor. He peeked into the bathroom, but it was empty too. _Strange. _Shouldn't he be able to see where he'd fallen?

"Are you feeling okay?" Kurogane was getting a little worried. The blonde had been checking his house, looking for _himself._

"…Am I awake?"

"Yeah…"

"…I'm not dreaming?"

The raven sighed, relief washing through him. He leaned against the kitchen doorframe,

"Nope," he answered simply.

"…_Oh…"_

Kurogane was thinking again. The blonde didn't seem to know what he should do now that he was realizing that he wasn't dreaming.

"Ooi."

_Blue met red._

"You mentioned collapsing, and that reminded me…Did you take your pills yet?"

Fai sighed and headed for his bedroom. He went through a drawer until he found what he was looking for. Taking out two pills, he wandered into the kitchen, poured himself a small glass of milk and showed the raven the pills. He placed them in his mouth, took a drink from the cup and then sighed once more,

"Happy?"

"Hey, your sister would be after me if I didn't make sure you were taking your medication," the raven reminded him.

"Now I'm trapped with Chi _and_ you? _Great. _What have I set myself up for?" Fai wondered, taking another drink from his cup. It was bad enough that his sister hounded on him to take his medication. Now Kurogane was going to do it too?

At least he could _escape _Chi.

**--**

"How did you manage that anyways?"

"Manage what?" The blonde wondered, turning his head to look to the raven. He was sprawled out on his mattress. Lying on his stomach, with his head turned to watch the television. And now he was looking towards the dark haired beauty that was perched on his mattress next to him.

"Your scars," the raven murmured,

"I don't mind them…They're just so _unusual_…"

Fai smiled, turning his head back to the television,

"That's a bad story you know…Some of my history is rather…_Unpleasant_."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Hmm…I was…Fourteen. It's been almost four years since then."

"You're seventeen?"

"Mm-hm, for another couple of months at least. I remember that I was fourteen, only because I got the scars shortly after I lost…" The blonde trailed the sentence, cleared his throat, and spoke again,

"There were two guys at my school…And they caught up with me one day after school."

He could feel Kurogane grip the sheets in one hand.

"One of the guys grabbed me, and his friend kneed me in the stomach. We fought. My shirt got torn off, shredded. My pants got torn off too…And for a while, I was afraid I was going to be _raped_…"

The grip on the sheets was tighter.

"I got pinned to the ground, face down. They came prepared…One of them pulled out a tin of Sterno."

"Sterno?"

"It's a fuel, for small stoves and chafing dishes."

"…"

"And he dipped his finger into it…And drew designs on my back. I didn't know what he had, 'til I saw the tin. I kicked my legs, and tried to get him away…But by the time I was understanding…He was striking a match. Which he proceeded to place on my back. My skin literally melted off in some places…And they ran away. They left me to burn to death, but I was able to put out the flames. But only _after _the damage was done."

"…"

"I got prosthetic skin…But it was itchy a lot…They always had to strap me down. And now, it looks like…"

"…Why did they attack you in the first place?"

"…" It was Fai's turn to be silent. He picked up the remote control for the television and flipped through a couple of channels.

"Ooi."

There wasn't an answer.

"OOI--!"

"…Because I'm gay," the blonde whispered.

Kurogane froze. His scowl deepened, and his voice turned rougher than usual.

"Do you remember their names?"

"…No…" It was a lie. But it had been nearly four years. Why seek vengeance _now?_

"…Does…Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore. It's stronger now, so I don't feel it. It's just ugly."

"…Do you mind me looking at them?" The raven felt bad for asking, but he hadn't gotten a proper look at the markings. The blonde didn't answer, but he sat up and removed his shirt, placing it on his bedside table. He then returned to his former position, so that he could watch television still.

"Spreads to your arms a bit too," Kurogane murmured, tracing along the lines.

"Yeah…"

"You know…Maybe you should go see a Doctor."

"Hm?"

"Well…See a Doctor, and see if you're able to turn this into a tattoo. Because maybe you don't like how it looks as scarred prosthetic skin…But maybe you wouldn't be so bothered by it if you turned it into a tattoo."

"You really think it would make a good tattoo?" Fai wondered, turning his head to face the raven once more.

"Yeah…I mean, _I_ don't mind it the way it looks now. But _you_ do. And maybe if it becomes a tattoo, you won't be so self conscious."

The blonde blushed a little, and looked away,

"If I go to the Doctor…"

"…I'll go with you…If you want me to," the raven mumbled, looking a little embarrassed.

"…Thanks Kuro-rin."

**--**

**(A.N: Woo yay for a new chapter! How gruesome was the idea behind what happened to Fai? Ne, ne? I have a warped mind. And the only reason I used Sterno for this, is because I remembered it from a C.S.I episode. -And of course I mean the C.S.I, with Grissom and all the GOOD cast members…Not that Miami, or New York crap.- Any C.S.I. fans who know what I'm talking about? Anyways R&R?)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**(A.N: Alright, I don't know if everyone actually caught what was happening last chapter. ****If you have seen the tattoo that Fai has on his back -in the anime, or whatever- then I'll inform you now…The scars on his back, are in the design of that tattoo…Which is why he's getting the tattoo…Make sense?**** Also…Woo hoo! An update! Rah! It's almost 6 am…I definitely love you guys. ****OOC WARNING. BOLDED WORDS WILL BE PEOPLE SPEAKING FRENCH! Dashes are scene changes or time passing. ****You guys know the drill. ****R&R?****)**

**--**

"Watanuki-kun!" He wasn't sure why he was adding on to the males name…Perhaps it was because he'd spent the weekend around a certain Japanese speaking, raven haired, glorious, beautiful…

_Dammit, he was doing it again._

"Fai?" The shorter male questioned, seeing his friends obvious state of blissfulness. He eyed him curiously, taking in the smile, the bright eyes, the aura of happiness…

"How are you this morning?" The blonde asked, still grinning.

"I uh…Fine. Uh…Fai?"

"Hmm?"

"…Did something happen with Kurogane?" There was a knowing look set on Watanuki's face, and the blonde haired male in question, paused. He let himself slowly climb down from his high throne and sighed,

"Watanuki-kun…"

"I don't mind, so don't get me wrong…"

"You don't?"

The raven haired male shook his head from side to side,

"Kurogane and I don't really have any issues with one another. I mean, he's never done anything to make me mad…And I stay out of his way. However…Sakura is going to _kill_ you."

Fai fidgeted. He smiled a mischievous, little smile, and looked back to Watanuki. Said male began to look rather concerned by the expression on Fai's face.

"What Sakura doesn't _know, _can't _hurt_ her…" The blonde suggested, still fidgeting. Watanuki sighed, exasperated,

"She'll find out though. And hiding it will do you no good! She'll just go into a rage when she learns you kept it a secret from her."

"…I _really_ have to explain it to her?"

"You don't have a _choice. _Besides, people are bound to start noticing if there's something going on between you and Kurogane."

"…" Fai hadn't thought of that. Would that really be _okay? _The ravens friends were very obviously not fond of him. When Kurogane had given him a ride home on Thursday, all of the ravens friends - excluding Syaoran - had been glaring at him as he'd sat in the car. And was there really something going on? He knew how he felt about the raven…But the male had never said the words the blonde had so desperately wanted to hear. Of course, maybe it was better if he never did hear him say it…

"Watanuki-kun?"

"Yes?"

"I…I'd like to keep this all a secret…Not permanently, of course. But…Just, for now. At least until I know for sure what's going on myself. You see…I'm not even sure at this point…"

The male sighed, but he nodded,

"Fine…But you can't keep it a secret for long."

**--**

He was apprehensive upon entering his French class, but was happy to see that the raven hadn't found his way into the room yet. _Good. _Fai made his way to the middle section and sat down in the same place that he'd sat on his first day. It was the same place he sat everyday. The same area. He was trying to come up with a way to distract himself, by flipping open his books, but it turned out to be unnecessary. Someone appeared at his left side, and sat up on the desk.

"Hey Fai."

Hearing his name, the blonde turned his head. It was Fuuma, from Auto. He smiled and turned himself completely to face the male.

"Morning," he answered simply.

"How're you liking the school so far?"

"Hmm…It hasn't been long enough for me to give it much of a verdict, but I'd say that so far, I like it."

"I hear you have math with my brother, Seishiro."

"I do. He's a bit…_Unusual_," Fai shrugged for a lack of better words.

Fuuma laughed,

"Well, at least I'm not the _only_ one who thinks so." The blonde giggled in response.

"So…I've heard rumor that you're a singer," the dark haired male continued,

"And that you play the piano as well."

"Yes, that's true. I do sing, and I am a pianist. My Mother taught me before she…" He paused,

"Before she passed away."

"…I'm sorry to hear that…But she did leave you with quite the gift," the male was trying to lighten to conversation. The blonde smiled a little. He didn't know what to say.

"I was wondering if you'd mind terribly if I came down to the Arts Hall during one of my spares…I wouldn't mind hearing you play, or sing, or something…The kids in this school are saying you're _brilliant. _Word travels pretty fast around here."

The last line hit the blonde like a slap in the face.

"_Word travels pretty fast around here."_

Oh _please, _let it just be a figure of _speech._

"I don't mind," he finally answered, grinning,

"I just hope I live up to what these kids say."

**--**

The two were laughing when he entered the room. Neither noticed him as he came up the stairs and through the row to sit down on the blondes right. Fai was absorbed in conversation with Fuuma. His body was aimed at him, his eyes were focused, and he was laughing away about whatever had just been said. Fuuma, in turn, was sitting on the desk to the left of the blonde, smiling, laughing, having a grand old time with him, apparently.

The raven glared.

Didn't Fuuma have something going with _Kamui? _Didn't he _himself_ have something going with _Fai? _This was going to become a territorial battle at the rate he was going…

The dark haired male noticed the red eyed raven who was glaring at him.

"I think the room just got a little colder," he joked.

Fai was confused, until he turned his head.

_Oh shit._

When had Kurogane gotten to his seat? Why hadn't the blonde even _noticed? _Oh, he was in so much trouble now, he could _feel _it…

"Class is about to start," Fuuma announced, slipping off the table,

"See you later Fai!" He hurried off to his seat. The blonde turned his body to aim the front of the room. He was nervous now. He didn't know how Kurogane really felt…Since he'd never actually told him…Well, he had explained that the blonde was a rare exception in the ravens world. He was the first one to get close to the male, and the only one he felt like he should comfort. So that was saying something…

"Ooi."

He looked. _Dammit. _

"Yes?" He was trying to keep his voice even, but the ravens eyes were…

"What were you two talking about?"

"Nothing really, why?"

"If it's nothing, then why don't you tell me what you were talking about?"

"Because it wasn't anything important…" This was a little irritating. It was still early, and it was a Monday too. Fai hated Mondays. It was the day you had to come back to school after being off for the weekend. Worst day of the week.

"So if it was nothing, then why are you being so secretive about it?"

"I'm not being secretive!"

"**Mr. Flourite!"**

Fai looked. His teacher had apparently started the lesson, and the blondes little outburst had interrupted his class. There were eyes on him, coming from every direction. He was unintentionally the center of attention. _Dammit._

"**Sorry, sir," **Fai apologized, feeling embarrassed.

"**Something you care to share with the class, Mr. Flourite?"**

"…**No sir."**

"Good. Mr. Suwa?"

"Uh…Yeah?"

"Perhaps you wouldn't mind saving your conversation until lunch hour? Some people in this class are actually _trying_ to _learn_."

**--**

He was out that door faster than he usually would have been. He needed somewhere to hide. Needed to find his friends. Sakura might be able to chase Kurogane off…

He was running through the halls - technically it was against school rules - but the teachers apparently didn't notice, or didn't care. Because they were letting him get away with it…

"Ooi!"

Or maybe it was because he was currently being _hunted…_

He could see Doumeki, who was watching him in confusion, and when Fai allowed himself to look down slightly, he saw Watanuki - who was staring at him wide eyed. Sakura was just exiting the room nearest the two previously mentioned males, and when she saw chaos coming directly for them…

Her arms crossed over her chest, and she glared. Fai rushed behind his wall of friends, panting. The raven who'd been following him stopped running, and panted from the unexpected exercise,

"What…The hell…Fai?" He managed to breathe. Sakura grabbed the blondes wrist and hauled him into the room she'd just walked out of. Fai didn't understand until he saw stalls, and sinks, and could smell perfume.

"Sakura-chan!" He announced as she glared up at him. She ignored the addition to her name,

"What is going on with you and _Suwa_?!"

"…"

"_Well?_"

He wished there were some way out of this scenario, but the emerald eyed girl was staring him down, and he knew he had to either give in, or suffer _severe_ consequences.

"…To be honest, Sakura-chan, I don't even know what's happening myself. I mean…He's said things - _good_ things…And I _think_ he likes me as more than a friend…I just…I'm not sure what I am to him."

She sighed, shaking her head from side to side,

"So…Do I lose you to him as well?"

"No! I would never stop talking to you because of him…And…That stupid gang wasn't even his idea. It was Ryuuoh's."

"Ryuuoh?"

Fai nodded. He watched the expression on Sakura's face change a little bit,

"…_Oh_…"

"Ooi! You're not supposed to be in there!"

"Oh let him _be,_ Suwa!" Sakura hollered,

"We're _talking!_"

"…"

"It's probably better if nothing _is_ going on," Fai finally decided,

"No one is supposed to fall for me…Remember?" His eyes were sad, and his voice was very far away.

**--**

The raven heard the words and once they'd been said, he knew the blonde couldn't - and likely wouldn't - take them back. Grunting in disbelief, he stalked off, angry. He was such a _fool. _A fool for thinking that he could mean something _special_ to this blue eyed _idiot. _An idiot _himself _for trying so hard to be _good…_

He rounded a corner, and continued down the hall. He didn't stop until he'd found Syaoran. He grumbled to him that they should go get food, and the brunette nodded. He knew something was wrong, but he also knew that the raven didn't want to talk about it. _Not here, not now. _Within no time, he'd rounded up his gang, and they were in his car. Syaoran got the front passenger seat, with Ryuuoh sitting behind him. And in the back, Shogo and Primera were snuggled up together.

"So, Kurogane," Ryuuoh spoke out, and the raven braced himself for the worst.

"What were you doing with lover boy?"

"_Lover boy?_"

"Blondie," Ryuuoh shrugged, smirking.

"_Che. _Nothing. Why?"

"'Cause Fuuma thinks you're mad at him. Apparently, he was talking to lover boy…And he caught you glaring him down."

"Fuuma makes shit up, you know that."

Syaoran looked to the raven. He could tell that something had been going on with Kurogane and Fai…And now he was denying everything…

"So…Nothing was going on with lover boy then?" Ryuuoh questioned, slightly doubtful.

"Che. Never happened."

**--**

**Bolded words will be lyrics from now on, so you know!**

**--**

Coming back from lunch, Fai - flanked by Sakura and Watanuki - entered the Arts Hall. He could handle the first half of all this just fine. It would be next period that would _bother_ him.

As they entered the last door on the left, a bunch of students glanced at Fai. But as he sat down on the ground, brooding, they began to look away. He didn't feel much like singing…Or playing the piano. Maybe he should play the guitar…That _was_ a good instrument to focus on, after all. But…It made him think about his brother.

_He sprawled out across the floor, unenthused._

"Fai?" Watanuki questioned. But the blonde didn't appear to hear him. He cleared his throat and tried again,

"Fai-san?" He added to the name, hoping to catch his attention. Blue eyes found the males face.

"I…Uh…Are you okay?"

"Mm…I guess. Just kind of down."

"You could put your feelings into something?"

"I don't feel like singing…Or playing piano…" The blonde answered, looking back to the ceiling. The shorter male stood and wandered off. Fai barely noticed. He wasn't aware of his absence until the male returned with a notepad and pen - which he promptly dropped on the blondes stomach.

"Hm?"

"If you're going to brood, at least make good use of it," Watanuki suggested, pulling out his own notepad and pen and sitting down. Fai picked up the things he'd been given, and sat up, giggling,

"Hyuu! Watanuki-kun is so cute when he's being stern!"

Said boy flushed and kept his eyes on his notepad. Fai slid onto his stomach, and uncapped the pen. His lyrics ran across the page with ease. He was a song writer, as well as a composer. Everything he wrote was sad though. And this song, he could tell, was going to turn out depressing as ever. He was done within half an hour.

"What's he doing?" Sakura questioned Watanuki, pointing her gaze to Fai.

"I got him a notepad. I thought he might as well do something _useful_ if he was going to _brood_."

Said blonde was currently scanning his lyrics. He'd made it about a female…A daughter. But…Truthfully, this was all about _him_…Some of the lines stuck out and grabbed his attention now…

**It's half biology and, half corrective surgery gone wrong.**

**You'll notice something funny, if you hang around here for too long**

**Ago in some black hole, before they had these pills to take it back!**

_The story of his life, and he knew it._

"Fai-san?" Watanuki questioned, and the blonde looked his way. This time, he was smiling.

"Thanks Watanuki-kun. I feel better now."

"What's this? Fai Flourite sprawled out on the floor? Aren't you usually singing, or something?" A familiar voice questioned, playfully. Remembering the sound, Fai looked,

"Fuuma!"

**--**

Why did he have to go to class to suffer? Woodshop hadn't been bad. Just long. He'd lost count of how many times he'd almost cut himself accidentally…

Sighing, he headed for Arts Hall. He wasn't looking forward to this. Not at all. Things had gone from amazing to crap within minutes and now his day just kept on tumbling downward. When he pulled open the door and had stepped beyond the threshold, he let the door slowly fall shut behind him.

_He didn't expect __**this…**_

**--**

"Alright! How about a live performance?!" Fai called out. His classmates stopped what they were doing, and looked intrigued. The male scanned the room, finding what he was looking for.

"Any drummers?" The blonde wondered aloud. A few people volunteered, and he chose one after showing them the sheet music - which he carried in his messenger bag. He got Sakura -who would be his backup guitarist- to highlight the drummers notes for him, because she knew the song. A microphone was produced from a closet, and people set themselves up like a crew. Amps were plugged in, instruments were pushed off to the sides of the room, to make room for people to stand - like a true concert audience. Fai grinned,

"Alright! I wrote this roughly four years ago! I hope you guys will enjoy it!"

Fuuma was standing near the front, along with Watanuki. The blondes peers were all around the two he was focusing on. Looking away again, he put on a serious face. He looked to his makeshift band and they both nodded.

Strumming the first few notes, Fai closed his eyes. He heard Sakura and the male he'd chosen as his drummer kick in behind him. Right on cue. He followed the tune until the lyrics were supposed to come in. He opened his eyes and his mouth and poured his soul into the microphone.

"**You can't quit until you try,**

**You can't live until you die,**

**You can't learn to tell the truth, until you learn to **_**lie.**_

**You can't breathe until you choke,**

**You gotta laugh when **_**you're**_** the joke.**

**There's nothing like a funeral, to make you feel, a-**_**LIVE!!!**_

**Just open your eyes,**

**Just open your eyes,**

**And see that life is **_**beautiful!**_

**Will you swear on your life,**

**That no one will cry,**

**At my funeral!!!"**

**--**

Kurogane slipped into the room quietly at the second round of _'just open your eyes.' _He hadn't expected Fai to be belting his lungs into a microphone, and pouring his heart out. Of course, there was a lot he hadn't expected from the blonde. He dropped his bag among the others, but no one noticed. Everyone was too focused on the live performance…

"**I know some things that you don't,**

**I've done things that you won't,**

**There's nothing like a trail of blood, to find your way back **_**home.**_

**I was waiting for my hearse, **

**What came next was so much **_**worse,**_

**It took a **_**funeral, **_**to make me feel alive!!!"**

The blonde locked his eyes on those of the raven who was lurking in the back, on that line. He continued with the song, but he wanted him to understand just how messed up he happened to be. His family was _dead. _And the remaining members of his family were limited. His sister was starting her own life. His Father _hated_ him. And he was slowly _dying…_

"**Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry,**

**At my funera~l!!!"**

**--**

"That was _outstanding, _Fai!"

"Thanks, Fuuma," the blonde grinned, returning the guitar to it's proper place. The dark haired male shook his head in disbelief,

"Well…You beat my expectations. That's for sure."

"Really?" He turned expert blue eyes on the male. A fixed gaze. A focused stare.

"Yeah. You know how people get. Hype and what not. Exaggeration. And then you have to hear it for yourself," he shrugged.

"I agree. That makes sense to me."

"Ooi, Fuuma," the familiar voice of Kurogane cut through their conversation, and both of the males turned to face the raven.

"Ah, Kurogane, something I can help you with?"

"Ryuuoh tells me you were talking about me. Saying I was _glaring you down?_"

"In French class, yeah. I just assumed I was crossing a _territorial line _by talking to Fai…"

"…" The blonde didn't speak. He definitely wasn't a piece of property, and he would refuse to be treated as such.

"…" Apparently, the raven hadn't planned out this conversation.

"And I wasn't saying it to _Ryuuoh. _I was saying it to _Kamui. _Ryuuoh and the others were walking by at the time."

"…"

"However, Ryuuoh _did_ come up to me at the end of lunch. He informed me that he'd overheard my conversation…And that he'd asked you if there was anything going on between you and Fai."

"_Back down, Fuuma," _Kurogane growled.

"And apparently you answered with: _never happened_."

**--**

He'd managed to successfully ignore the raven until the end of class. And when it was over, he stormed out of the building. The male surprised him by following.

"Ooi!"

"Go away."

"Fai!"

"_GO. AWAY."_

"Ooi! Listen to me," he grabbed a hold of the males shoulder, and was surprised when the blonde shrugged him off. He expected to find him crying, but instead there was a look of defiance in those blue eyes.

"Fai…"

"Go back inside. You have another class, don't you?"

"Gym. I can skip."

"No. Go back inside," Fai pressed. He didn't want to be near Kurogane.

_Never happened._

"I didn't mean what I said…To Ryuuoh, I mean," he mumbled. He felt horrible. Hadn't the male already broken up with him? Hadn't he said it was better that no one fell for him?

"But what about you?" The raven continued, wanting answers,

"Didn't you tell Sakura it was better if no one fell for you?"

"…" Fai didn't answer. He just stared out at nothing. He was already losing the battle, and he couldn't stop it from happening.

"…It _is_ better that no one falls for me."

"Why?"

"…"

"_Dammit Fai! _If this is about your _damn_ illness, then you should already see that I've looked past that!"

"That isn't it!"

"What then?" Red eyes focused on the blonde, who kept his gaze on nothing.

"It's not just the fact that I'm…That I'm _dying_," Fai muttered,

"I'm not…_No one _is supposed to fall for me, and it's not just because of death."

"What is it then? _Tell me_." If there was _any_ chance that he could keep him…He would damn well find it.

A car pulled up in front of the school, and Fai pulled the passenger door open. He pulled his bag off and chucked it down onto the floor. He was about to slide in to the seat, but Kurogane grabbed him again.

"Fai…Just tell me _why_."

When red and blue met once more, the ravens eyes grew. Now, there were tears rolling down the pale cheeks.

"I would," the blonde answered, pulling away, and sliding into the car. He gripped the door handle, ready to pull it shut.

"But it _never happened_…Remember?"

He didn't wait long before he slammed the door and pulled on his seat belt.

**--**

**(A.N: Ahhh! Gomen nasai! I will try to update this again soon…And oh no! Things don't look so good right now. Hmm…Don't hate Fuuma too much for it…He didn't really do anything wrong. A certain RAVEN just needs to work on some ANGER ISSUES. -Glare face- Anyways, R&R?)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

(A.N: In my last chapter, there were two songs, whose lyrics I used. The first one was what Fai was scribbling down after Watanuki got him a notebook. It is Half Jack by The Dresden Dolls. Very good song, and I love it! Fai also sang a song in that chapter…And that song was: Life Is Beautiful by Sixx:AM. Amazing song. I recommend you go and listen to both of them, in case you haven't yet. And now, to the warnings! WARNING: OOC! ANGST! BOLDED TEXT WILL BE TEXT MESSAGES! Dashes are scene changes or time passing. You know the drill. R&R?)

--

"**You're not giving yourself a good start to your school year you know."**

"**I have a spare this period, it's fine."**

"**What happened this time?"**

**He swallowed hard, and mumbled his answer,**

"**I was talking to Fuuma - a guy I have two classes with. We weren't saying much really…Just light conversation. Kurogane came up and demanded to know what I'd been saying, and I didn't want to say, because there wasn't much **_**point. **_**I was so confused, because I didn't know how he…" He broke the sentence and cleared his throat,**

"**I **_**ran. **_**I went to Sakura, and we talked. I told her that I didn't know what was going on…And I also told her that…" He cut himself off again, this time to let out a soft sob. He was so confused and it hurt him. He didn't know what to think, or feel. When he managed to speak again, it was nothing more than a mere whisper,**

"…**That it was better if nothing was going on, because no one is supposed to…Supposed to **_**fall**_** for me. **_**No one. **_**And I couldn't tell Kurogane **_**why that was, **_**exactly. He got mad that I'd said it, and stormed off…And later I heard that he'd been talking to Ryuuoh - his stupid **_**gang **_**leader. And Ryuuoh had asked him if he and I had something going…And he…He said…"**

"…**Fai…" She gave him a soft, sympathetic look, as they'd pulled up to a stop sign.**

"…**He said: **_**never happened**_**," the male finally managed to finish. He wrapped his arms around his torso, just to keep himself in one piece. Just so he wouldn't fall apart any further than he already had.**

"**Oh, Fai…" She murmured, driving forwards to the next street, and pulling over at the side of the road. She reached over, wrapping her arms around him.**

"**I…I know I shouldn't have run off…But I…I was so…I'm **_**still**_** so…" He couldn't form a sentence. He was too busy crying.**

"**Shh, sh-sh…It's okay," she tried to soothe him. She smoothed down his hair, and kept him in a hug,**

"**Things will work out."**

**--**

He had cried himself out, and was now curled up on his mattress. She had held him as he'd cried. Comforted him, reassured him. And now, he was unconscious.

He had given her his cell, telling her that she was in charge of answering if Sakura, or Watanuki happened to message, or call him. Now, as the blonde before her slept, she crept into the kitchen. She opened his phone and scrolled through his contact list - searching. It didn't surprise her to find the number, which she copied into her own cell phone.

_It was time to settle things for herself._

**--**

He pulled his phone from his pocket when he felt the vibration. He opened it, eagerly, but it didn't say a name. Just a number - one he didn't know. And a message…

"**Where are you?"**

He stared at the words in confusion before he decided to type out a reply. He settled with an easy answer,

"**School parking lot. Who is this?"**

He was just pulling on his seatbelt when he felt the phone vibrating again. He flipped it open once more,

"**Come to Fai's house. **_**Now.**_**"**

He sighed, pocketing the phone.

_That answered his question._

**--**

She was waiting outside for him. He pulled into a parking spot, and got out of the car. After closing the door, he made sure to lock his vehicle back up and pocket his keys. He didn't make eye contact with her as he approached. He could feel her gaze, and it was strong. Kind of _scary…_

"You have _a lot _of _nerve,_" she told him when he was close enough to hear. She kept a calm voice, but she was mad. He could _feel_ it.

"…"

"I know he's hard to understand. And he doesn't always say the things he needs to…" She paused, and shook her head,

"But _I'm_ not afraid to say what _he won't. _There's more to it than him being sick. It has a lot to do with our _Father._"

"Your Father…?"

"…He hates the idea of Fai being homosexual. We don't know why, he just…" She sighed,

"He just _does. _So whenever Fai does something, or says something that sounds feminine, he gets called a _fag, _or a _faggot,_" her voice was twisting on the words, in disgust,

"But if he acts like a _boy_…If he acts in the way a boy is _supposed_ to…Then the words don't come so often."

"…"

"So his options are…Get a girlfriend…Or stay single until he dies."

The raven didn't know how to answer. He considered the things he'd been saying to the blonde. He'd told him that he didn't give a damn about what his friends may think about him spending time with the male. But then…Then he had turned right around and made that statement into a lie, by lying to Ryuuoh.

"Or…" Chi added, seeing the understanding crossing over the ravens face,

"He can be with someone, who can protect him…Even when our Father is trying to downsize him…" She reached out, and took one of his hands. She didn't speak, she just slipped the spare key into his hand, and closed his fingers around it.

"Just think about that. 'Kay?"

**--**

_He must be out of his mind._

He was in the males apartment…_Again. _And he was currently sitting in a chair at said males beside. He was brushing his fingers through the blondes bangs.

_Fai stirred._

The raven moved his hand away at once, waiting for the male before him to wake up. The blonde stretched, yawned, and then cuddled his pillow closer. His blue eyes opened a crack, then closed again. Slid halfway open, closed. Another yawn, and then the eyes fluttered open.

He sat up quickly.

"What're you doing here?" His eyes were still tired, and he was still so confused. Being drowsy made that worse.

"I, uh…I came to apologize."

"…Seems to be a lot of that happening lately," Fai's eyes were more alert now. He was awake. And he was _pissed._

"…"

"First I'm a _fag, _so you feel guilty, and come apologize to me," as he spoke, he got out of his bed,

"Then I overreact, because I think Tomoyo is your girlfriend." He threw his pillow at the male, and stormed off to his kitchen, where he continued to rant,

"You explain she's your cousin…And then get all…" He didn't finish the sentence, but he sighed in exasperation. He hated it. He hated the mess his life was becoming…

"…Fai…"

"…Then it _never happened_…"

_No more words._

The silence was a piercing scream, and it tortured them both. Kurogane couldn't bear listening to nothing. Fai hated that the raven was here with nothing more to say, other than _'sorry.' _It felt like an eternity before a sound broke their silence.

_The sound of a glass shattering._

"Damn," the blondes voice broke through quietly. He pulled open the cupboard under the sink, to reveal a garbage bag. He then began to pick up the pieces. The raven was standing in the doorway. The blondes finger slipped on a piece of glass, and the fragment tore his skin open. He hissed, pulling his hand away quickly.

"You okay?"

The voice. He was still mad. Still upset. He wanted revenge for the male making him hurt like this, but what could he possibly…?

"Fai?"

He reached out, silently, with both hands. He scooped the glass up off the floor in a small bunch. He then dropped it into the garbage, before he went to pick up the small shards. He allowed them to poke his skin, causing him to bleed…

"Ooi!" Kurogane grabbed him as he allowed the small fragments to drop into the trash. The blonde kicked the cupboard shut, and pulled his arm away, so that he could dust his hands off over his sink.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"Get out of my apartment." The answer was sharp, simple…And the raven looked away.

"Don't bother making that face. Your _kicked puppy _expression won't work on me _this_ time. _Get out_." In all honesty, it was tugging at his heartstrings, and he wanted Kurogane more than anything. But he couldn't know that. Not when it had; _never happened._

"Fai…I!"

"I said; _get out!_" The blonde snapped, storming past the male, and leading him to the door. The raven stepped out, and faced Fai. However, said male hadn't wasted his time. The raven was met with a slammed door.

Sighing, he knocked,

"Fai…" But there wasn't an answer.

"Ooi!" Still, nothing. He knocked again,

"Fai, open up, please…"

The door whipped open, revealing a very annoyed looking blonde. The raven put his hands up in surrender,

"Before you rip my head off, hear me out," he paused a moment, to let out a sigh,

"I've been an asshole--"

"--And here I thought you were just having a _bad day_," Fai interrupted, feigning surprise.

"…Okay, I deserved that. I've been an asshole, and so I understand why you wouldn't want anything to do with me…_Romantically_…But…I like talking to you…_I do_…So I was thinking…Maybe…We could, uh…"

"Be secret friends?" The blonde suggested, putting on a smile.

"There. You read my mind." For a moment, Kurogane was relieved, until he noticed the blondes expression.

"Great, um," Fai encouraged, his feigned smile fading as he uttered his next words,

"Maybe you could read mine." He was completely straight faced. He didn't blink, or move, or even speak. He stood that way for a few seconds before he slammed the door in the ravens face, and slid his bar lock into place.

With his back against the door, Fai could only wrap his arms around his torso, wishing he had a door to hold back everything that was sliding from his heart.

**--**

"Sakura-chan?" Watanuki questioned. He'd gotten into Fai's little habit of adding additions onto names.

"Yes?" She looked up from her soda, over to the boy positioned across from her.

"Well uh…I was wondering about something…"

"Oh?" She swirled her straw around in her drink, waiting.

"Uh…You're very…_Protective_…Over Fai…And I wondered _why that was, _exactly…"

He watched her stop moving. Her eyes were clouded over as her mind took her elsewhere, and he could read pain rather clearly in the emerald orbs.

"You don't have to tell me! I mean…! It's wrong of me, to intrude. But, Yuuko, she knows so much about everyone, and she tells _me_ a lot too. But when it comes to _Fai_…"

Sakura looked back down to her soda. She watched the little ice cubes as they bobbed around at the top of her drink. She would poke one down with her straw, then watch it float to the surface once more.

"He's suffered…_A lot_…" She told him quietly. She attempted to drown another ice cube, but it escaped her straw, and she sighed,

"He was bullied a lot…In school. He was picked on for being _gay_," her brow furrowed,

"Some boys…They got to him one day. He has scars on his back…I've never seen them myself. Fai is highly self-conscious about them."

"Sakura-chan…"

"There's also his Father…"

"His Father?"

A nod,

"He's a homophobe. He used to beat Fai…_Relentlessly. _He's been in the hospital for injuries before. And I don't mean minor _cuts and bruises_…" She had given up her ice cube homicide attempts, and was now clutching her cup tightly, in both hands.

"…"

"…His skin was _another colour_…On a few separate occasions…He was beaten so badly…"

"…Sakura-chan…"

"His Father is the _worst. _He calls Fai a _fag, _if he does anything that _that man _deems _feminine. _He wants him to be _normal. _He wants him to have a girlfriend…And if he can't manage that, then he wants him to live alone."

Watanuki didn't like the sounds of this guy. Not one bit…

"He hates the idea of Fai being in _love, _Watanuki. Hates it so badly that he'd rather his own son live a life of _misery!_" Her shoulders shook, and she held back the tears,

"_I hate him. _I hate him to the core."

"Sakura-chan…You're getting really riled up about this - not that I blame you…But, I thought Fai's Dad stayed away from him? Why does it matter if he's not even a part of his life?"

"…He comes around. He comes to check up, and make sure that his son is living up to his expectations. And if he isn't…" Her fringe covered her eyes as she looked down, hiding any sign that she might cry,

"…Well lets just say that Fai isn't one to rat his Dad out, when things get _ugly._"

**--**

Chi sighed, reading the text messages she was receiving from both her brother, and Kurogane. Her brother was depressed and had cut his hands on a broken cup. Kurogane was upset because he was pushing away someone who meant a lot to him, and he couldn't seem to get back to him…

She hated the cut hands. As soon as Fai told her that, she'd called his cell phone and reminded him exactly why he shouldn't have done it. She didn't need it again. _Not again. _Her brother had the most warped history imaginable…

He had been bullied by people at school, because he was _gay. _Two boys had burnt intricate markings onto his back, and now he had scars, caused by him itching his prosthetic skin. He'd suffered child abuse, from their Father - who regularly referred to him as a _fag. _That same Father expected his son to either get a girlfriend or live alone in a pit of misery…

_But there was more to it than that._

As if all of those things weren't _bad enough. _Fai had gone through a stage of _cutting. _It had been his relief from _everything. _It was unfortunate, because he'd been fourteen at the time. Shortly after their Mother and brother had died…He'd gotten the scars on his back…And then he'd started cutting. He had cut for two years. And nearly two years had passed since he last allowed a blade to dig into his flesh. But when he'd turned fifteen, a lot had gone wrong…

It was more than just the abuse he got at home, and school. It was more than his cutting…

He'd ended up with the wrong crowd. And he'd drunk himself into the hospital…_Three times. _Other times he just got himself completely hammered, until he was sick all day the next day.

She knew Sakura was protective of him. And she knew the girl would likely tell Fai's other friends - Watanuki and Doumeki - about the scars on the males back, though she'd never seen them herself. And she'd tell them about the child abuse, and their Father. Tell them how awful he was…But the cutting and the alcohol…

She knew she wouldn't tell them about that.

**--**

**(A.N: I'm sorry that this is still not happy! SORRY! It will get better later…If that makes you guys feel any better…R&R?)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**(A.N: How much do I love you guys? Apparently…A lot. I updated this pretty much a week ago…And now, I'm posting another chapter. You guys are so spoiled. -facepalm- Anyways, sorry to anyone who reads my other fan fictions…I haven't been updating them…Sorry…I will though! Soon! ****Also, I have a random message for the fans at the bottom of this chapter…So please check that out, when you're done reading. WARNINGS: OOC, ANGST?**_"This means someone is talking on the phone."_ **Also, there's a scene where there's a movie playing, and I wrote the scene out in italics. Dashes are time passing, or scene changes.**** You guys know the drill. ****R&R?**** Love you for it!)**

**--**

"How much do they know?" He questioned as he walked down the hallway with her.

"I left out the cutting and the alcohol," she answered simply, keeping up with his pace.

"…Thank you."

"Fai?"

"Yes?" He looked to her as they continued down the hallway.

"You're not…I mean you aren't starting--"

"--Sakura-chan. It's been nearly two _years_." He looked down to his hands. There were a few minor cuts and scratches from the glass. Nothing serious.

"I simply did this to piss him off, because I wanted him to understand that he was causing me pain."

"Piss him off…? He got _mad _when you…?"

The blonde nodded,

"He tried to stop me and everything."

Sakura allowed for that to mull over for a moment. She didn't like Kurogane - _that_ was an _understatement. _But the raven had tried to stop Fai from cutting himself. He'd gotten angry and everything…

_Maybe she was judging him a little too __**harshly.**_

"You know…If I had been there…I would have gotten mad at you too, for cutting yourself on the glass like that…" Sakura lead him into her thoughts, gently.

"But that's because you _care, _Sakura-chan."

She stopped walking. Fai walked a few steps more before he stopped and turned to face her.

"Sakura-chan?"

"…Did you _hear yourself _just now?" She questioned, mystified. Of course she cared, and would have been angry. And of course she would have tried to _stop_ him, too…

Hadn't Kurogane done _exactly that?_

Fai's eyes showed the puzzle pieces falling into place.

**--**

The raven was on the stairs, looking for a place to sit in his French class. There was plenty of room in the area he usually sat in with Fai…But he didn't want to be there. He was pretty sure that said blonde didn't want him there either. Sighing, he marched higher up, and sat down a good distance away from their usual seating arrangement.

A few people stared at him momentarily, before they decided better of doing so, and looked away. From where he was sitting, the raven could see the doorway. He watched until Fai walked in, and then ducked his head, looking down at his notebook.

**--**

The blonde wandered into his classroom, and immediately looked to the place where he usually sat with Kurogane. But said raven wasn't in his seat.

Panic surged through Fai's veins, as he scanned the room, _desperate. _He'd wanted to get things sorted out…Where was the raven…?

**--**

Fuuma nearly crashed into Fai on his way into the classroom. He paused near the boy, seeing his eyes filled with worry…

Concerned, he placed a hand on his shoulder, and watched as the male jumped, before he turned to face him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," the dark haired male amended quickly,

"But you look like you're having a panic attack or something…You alright?"

"I…I was looking for Kurogane," the blonde muttered, bowing his head. He allowed his fringe to shield his eyes. _This was embarrassing…_

"Hm, Kurogane? He's over there," the male answered, pointing to the male. Fai looked, and as his blue eyes scanned the faces, he finally saw him. He was hunched over his books.

_No wonder he hadn't seen him._

"Thanks, Fuuma!" The male announced, relieved. He took off up the stairs. Fuuma watched him go, before shaking his head, trying not to laugh.

**--**

He looked up, to determine where the blonde was. His eyes widened when he saw the male heading straight for him.

"Shit," he muttered, looking back to his books. The blonde worked his way over to the raven, before plopping down in the seat next to his. He pulled out his books and set them on the desk. Their teacher was late, so he turned to face the taller male next to him.

"…Hi," he didn't know what else to say to him. He'd been pushing him away a lot lately…Even though the male had apologized…

"…" Kurogane didn't answer. He just flipped to a blank page in his notebook, and waited for the lesson to start.

"I uh…I wanted to say that I'm sorry…I've been pushing you away, even though you tried to make amends…" The blonde waited for some kind of answer, but the raven wasn't speaking. He wasn't even _acknowledging_ the blonde. He waited, but the teacher walked into the room, and began their lesson. Fai turned his attention to the front board, and barely paid attention as he copied out the notes for the day.

**--**

He couldn't even smile when he saw his friends. Watanuki looked concerned. Sakura did too, but she also looked annoyed. Doumeki looked a bit confused.

"Rough day?" Watanuki questioned. Fai shrugged,

"I've had worse."

"He isn't talking to you…Is he?" Sakura questioned, but she already knew the answer. The blonde smile half heartedly, before shaking his head, 'no.' Sakura sighed, and grabbed her friend by the wrist,

"Come on. Lets go somewhere private."

**--**

He was so _confused. _They'd wandered down the arts hall, and once they'd reached the end, they went into their regular room. Last door on the left hand side. But this time, Sakura had dragged him to a door - which he'd thought was a closet, until she pulled it open. At first glance, it could be mistaken for a closet, but when his friend moved aside some of the boxes, the blonde noticed a set of stairs, leading up.

"The third floor?" He wondered aloud.

"It's barely used, and this entrance leads us almost directly to the most private of classrooms."

They all climbed the stairs, with Watanuki closing the door behind himself.

**--**

"Hey there Kurogane. What's the hurry?" Fuuma wondered, walking over to the male. He was flanked on one side, by Kamui.

The raven didn't spare him much time,

"Have you seen Fai?"

"Hm…Fai? Last I saw him, he was with his friends…Going down the Arts Hall."

"Arts Hall?"

A nod. The raven thanked him, and booked it down the hallway. Kamui turned to Fuuma,

"Are you sure you were supposed to do that?"

"Do what?" The taller male questioned, feigning innocent confusion.

"…If one of them tries to _kill you, _I'm going to _sit back and watch,_" Kamui answered simply, starting down the hallway. Fuuma fell into stride with him easily,

"How _cruel_," he teased,

"And here I thought you _liked_ me."

**--**

He looked around him at the so-called _'classroom.' _There was a white board, as well as a chalk board. Markers, chalk, and erasers. There were a few desks pushed off to one side, and in the center of the floor, there was an assortment of beanbag chairs. In the middle of the circle of chairs, there were piles of blank paper…Pens, markers, highlighters…_Everything._

"What _is_ this?" Fai questioned, sitting up on one of the desks.

"A place most people _stay away _from," Sakura answered, giggling. She hopped up onto one of the desks beside Fai,

"It's a hangout, for those who need to talk out their issues…Or those who just want to escape."

"…Escape?" The blonde turned this idea over in his head.

_A place of __**freedom…**_

"Escape," Sakura confirmed, nodding,

"Now. _Spill._"

**--**

He was standing outside the door, where he wouldn't be seen. Eavesdropping was usually frowned upon…But he _needed_ to hear this. He needed to _know…_

"I couldn't tell him about my history. I assume you told Watanuki about my past with my Father…And what those two guys did to me…"

"…I did."

"I figured you would. Watanuki-kun, there's a lot to my history…Things Sakura left out. One of the things she hasn't told you is something I feel that - as my friend - you should know."

"What is it, Fai-san?"

"…I have a terminal illness…Doctor's haven't really come up with a name for it yet…But it…It's killing me…_Slowly._"

The raven listened from outside of the door, knowing this already. Still, it stung him to hear it again.

"Fai-san…"

"Just _please_…Don't tell anyone about that. I trust you, and Doumeki. And I've trusted Sakura for a long time."

Inside, Watanuki nodded, and Fai thanked him.

"There's a lot to my history…"

"Only tell us if you're comfortable with doing so, Fai-san," the smaller male spoke up. He didn't want to hear secrets if it meant his blonde haired companion would be uncomfortable with explaining them to him. The male before him smiled sadly, but nodded.

Fai pulled up his shirt sleeves, and -making sure to keep his hands palm side up - he revealed his arms to the male. There were long, and short scars across his arms. A few even _criss crossed. _They were all pink. Old scars that would never truly heal. And in the ones that crossed over each other…The centers were red. _Deep cuts._

"This is one of my secrets," the blonde spoke, his voice quivering,

"Because I just couldn't _deal_ with my _Father_…Nor could I deal with the bullies from my school…Or the death of my Mother and brother," he inhaled deeply, before letting it out in a sigh. He refused to cry, but he _wanted to. _Breaking down would be so _nice…_

"I cut…For two _years._"

In the hallway, leaning against the wall, Kurogane felt his stomach churn.

"It's been nearly two years since I last did this," Fai continued gently.

"What are these little cuts on your fingers and hands?" Watanuki wondered, tearing his eyes away from the old scars.

"These little markings?" The blonde examined his hands, remembering all too well where they came from,

"I got into a fight. With Kurogane. He was trying to apologize to me…I overreacted and threw a fit…I dropped a cup on the floor…And the little shards were sharp. I allowed them to cut me. But…It was _different_…I only let myself do it, because I wanted him to see I was in _pain._" The male pulled his sleeves back down, and sighed,

"I know how _stupid_ that sounds. It's _childish_ of me, really. _But I can't help it. _All my life I've been told that I'm worthless. I'm emotionally scarred from it…And physically scarred as well. I know my arms don't _look _like they've gone through two years of cutting…But that's because _not all_ of the cuts were on my _arms._"

"Fai-san…" Watanuki couldn't believe the suffering the blonde before him had been through.

"There's something else too…But that can wait for another time." The blue eyed male paused, silencing himself. When the others gave him a funny look, and Sakura went to speak, Fai held up a hand, signaling silence. As quietly as he could, he walked to the door. He didn't hesitate. He ripped it open, and stepped out into the hallway.

Kurogane was leaning against the wall to the blondes right.

_When red met blue; Fai panicked._

**--**

His secret was out. Dammit, _dammit, __**dammit!**_

He was glad he hadn't spoken of the alcohol. That would make things _worse. _He had never run so fast in his lifetime. And he had never forced himself to go over the speed limit either.

But he needed to get back to his live-in studio.

When he was in the parking lot, he ran for the double doors that he knew as the entrance. He whipped out his key, pushed it into the lock…

There was a car speeding into the lot…

_Shit…_

He pulled the door open quickly, and rushed through the next set of doors. And then, he was on the stairs faster than he'd thought possible. He didn't stop until he was in his apartment. Didn't stop until his door was locked. Then he set himself on pacing.

_His secret was out. _He'd been a cutter, and now Kurogane _knew._

Oh, he was going to _hate _him. He was going to give him hell for cutting his fingers on the broken glass…

He could hear him as he came up the stairs. His heart raced and he climbed onto his mattress, covering his ears. He shut his eyes tightly. And then - ducking his head - he began to rock.

_Back and forth._

Forward, backward, and forward again.

A fist pounded off the door.

He kept rocking. Back and forth.

Why was he so afraid? Why did it bother him so much? Was it really because his secret was out?

_Fist on the door._

Or was it because it brought back the childhood memories? The fact that he had been a _worthless _child. _Useless. _And he had always done _wrong. _Had always been _punished _for _doing _wrong…

"FAI!"

A voice yelling his name. He was in trouble. _So much _trouble. _Back and forth. Again and again. _Pressing his fingers against his ears until they felt as though they'd bruise at the tips. Squeezing his eyes shut so tightly that he knew he'd see colours when he dared to open them again. Back and forth. Again, and again…

There was a loud noise. He wasn't entirely sure what it was…Though he was pretty sure he'd heard it before.

_Back and forth._

Hands settled on his shoulders, and he flinched - _cowering._

He was in trouble. He'd done wrong again. Now he'd be _punished…_

"Fai…" The voice soothed.

He knew this game. Make him believe he was safe, and then…

"Ooi. Open your eyes, you idiot."

Fai's eyes snapped open, and he dared himself to peek. The raven was sitting on the edge of his bed, and the male sighed, seeing his expression.

"Kuroga--" Fai cut himself off, slowly moving his hands from his ears,

"Kuro-rin?" He tried a nickname instead, feeling hopeful.

Kurogane wasn't looking at him, but he did smile. It was small, but it was there.

"I'm sorry," the blonde continued, looking down,

"You tried to apologize to me…And I acted like a jerk--"

"--I'm not mad at you." He shifted his gaze to the blue eyed male next to him.

"…You're not?" He peeked up from underneath his eyelashes. Kurogane shook his head from side to side,

"Nope."

"…Oh."

"But I think _you _might be…" The raven trailed the sentence, and rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit nervous, and rather embarrassed.

"What makes you say that, Kuro-tan?"

"…How I got into the apartment…"

Fai thought about it for a moment. It shouldn't have been possible for the raven to get inside…He'd locked the door with the bar lock. It shouldn't have opened…

"…What did you do?"

**--**

"_Wait, so…Let me see if I'm understanding this correctly," _the girls voice spoke again, over the phone,

"_You and Kurogane are on good terms again?"_

"Well…Yes…" The blonde answered, feeling shy.

"_And you're going to stay with him, at his __**house?**__"_

"Well…Yes…" There was a break of silence, in which Fai took the opportunity to put his phone on speaker phone.

"_So…Remind me __**why**__ you're staying with him again?"_

"What are you going to tell her?" The raven mumbled, from the opposite end of the couch.

"I'm going to tell her the truth, of course."

Kurogane looked to the male,

"And that would be…?" Fai turned his gaze to the raven, and put on a playful glare,

"You _broke_ my _door._"

**--**

Fai left his valuable possessions with his sister, seeing as he couldn't lock up his house anymore. His landlord promised to get the door replaced as soon as possible - which wouldn't happen until _Wednesday. _Fai knew that none of his neighbours were bad people…But still, leaving merchandise behind was a _risky_ thing to do. So he left his violin and his guitar with his sister, and told her to take his sheet music with her as well - which he bundled up into a folder for her.

When he'd sent her off, he went into his room. He grabbed a suitcase, dropped it on his bed, and popped it open. He then rifled through his closet, and drawers, finding clothes. He wasn't sure how long he'd be at Kurogane's house for, but he knew he'd been there until Thursday, at least. His door wasn't going to be fixed for a few more days…

He gathered enough clothes to last him through the week, and tossed them onto his bed. He riffled through everything, searching for anything that he might need. When it was all piled onto his bed, he sorted it out. He packed all of the clothes neatly into his suitcase. He also packed up his two towels - which he placed in a pocket in the suitcase. He put his toothbrush and toothpaste into a Ziploc bag, and stuffed it into his suitcase. He got his laptop bag, and made sure to bring both the laptop, and the charger. He made sure he had his cell phone charger as well - knowing his cell was tucked away in his pocket.

In his messenger bag, he did a mental checklist, which included his iPod, its charger, his box of tea pouches - because he knew he would need those, his pills, his notebook, and some DVDs he wanted to bring. Some of his favourites. And a few more miscellaneous items. The last thing he grabbed was his pillow.

"All set?"

"Yeah. It looks like a lot, but it isn't…At least, not _really._"

"It really doesn't look like much," the raven answered, offering to take the suitcase. Fai was going to say he could carry it, but Kurogane looked guilty. He gave into the kicked puppy expression, and handed it over.

"I thought that look didn't work on you?"

"You did it on _purpose?_" Fai couldn't believe the male sometimes.

"You didn't answer my question." They were on their way down the stairs. Fai sighed,

"It _does_ work on me. I _lied _when I said it _didn't._"

The raven seemed amused by this, as he lead the male outside to his car. Fai dropped his stuff on the middle seats, before heading to the front passenger seat. Kurogane got in on the drivers side, and brought the vehicle to life.

"Your friends will find out about this, you know."

"If they're _really _my _friends, _then they won't give a _damn,_"the words were reassuring,

"I'm tired of listening to Ryuuoh."

Fai smiled, leaning into the seat,

"What's your place like?"

"Apartment. It's a bit more lived-in than yours is though. You'll have to forgive me if you happen to find a shirt tossed over a chair…Or lying on the floor…I'm kind of careless with my laundry sometimes."

"…Are the walls white?"

"What?"

"The walls…Are they white?" Fai always liked knowing these things ahead of time. His own apartment was white. The paint was even peeling in some places…_Cracked…Broken…_

"No. I painted it ages ago…They're a faded green. I didn't want it to be too dark, because it's not a permanent residence. It's all green except for the bathroom and kitchen…Those are a faded blue."

"Wow. Earth colours," the blonde teased. But he liked the idea. Blue and green, even if they weren't vibrant…

_It was so much better than the cracked and peeling white of his own apartment._

Fai wiggled his toes in his shoes as they drove down a street. A habit he'd picked up when he was feeling a bit…_Twitchy._

"It's not permanent - your house. Were you planning on moving?"

"My lease is up in May."

"Hmm…So you have a while yet before you need to start packing."

"Yeah," came the short answer. Their drive didn't seem to take too long. When Kurogane pulled up in front of the building, Fai looked up in awe. Even the exterior was better than his apartment complex had been. This place couldn't come cheap…He was sure of that.

"…Are you sure it's _okay _if I stay here?"

"I broke your door down. And my landlord won't cause problems. He's kind of…"

"…Scared of you?"

_A smile._

**--**

He was almost afraid of stepping into the house. He'd made it into the small area meant for shoes. But now, he couldn't move. The apartment was far more than spacious. It was _huge. _When Kurogane finally coaxed him out of the doorway, and into the living room, the blonde _nearly_ dropped dead.

The raven had stepped into Fai's piece of junk live-in studio. Cracked, peeling white walls. Shabby furniture. Sheet music littering the floor…

Fai had just stepped into a _haven. _Hardwood floors beneath his feet. The living room had a rather large television set, as well as an L-shaped sofa. It as black, of course. He couldn't expect anything other than that from Kurogane. There was a glass coffee table in front of it too - with a pile of coasters sitting on it. There was a wooden side table sitting at one end of the couch. A lamp was perched on top of it.

"Hey, you okay?"

Fai took a moment before he turned to face the raven. He was _bewildered…_

"…You really live here?"

"Yeah…Why?"

"It's so…_Big_…"

The male smiled a bit,

"When I move, I might be going for something even _bigger_…And getting new furniture. Some of this stuff needs to go."

"Why is it so _huge?_"

"Mainly because my friends sometimes come over…And when they do, we need room."

That was right. Fai's friends didn't come to his apartment. He wouldn't let them. It was a piece of _junk._

"Do you even have a job?" The blonde wondered aloud. He hadn't really meant to ask…But really, what kind of job gave you this much money?

"I work occasionally…In the summer, mainly. I uh…I don't really _need_ work."

"…" Fai watched the male rub at the back of his neck, looking sheepish.

"…My parents left all their money to me…In their will. They had enough money to keep at least four people alive and thriving…_For life_…And I guess that's a good thing…In my case…Tomoyo's parents did the same thing. They left everything to her, and to her older sister…It was fair enough, because her parents had even _more_ money than _mine_ did."

"…"

"Sorry. I sound really _spoiled, _don't I?"

Fai shook his head from side to side. He hadn't even known…He'd assumed that Kurogane lived on his own, because the male was in high school…And he didn't mention family - except Tomoyo. It made sense now, that he didn't mention family, because there wasn't much _family _to _mention._

"No…I just…I mean, I have money too…My Mother left me all of her savings…And my brother left me every penny he had ever saved up…He saved everything from his birthdays and Christmas. He never spent it. I always wondered why…Until I found out about his will. My Dad plans on leaving his money to Chi. And he's got quite the bit of cash. Though…His jaw would drop if he saw _this_ place." It was mind boggling.

"When it comes down to sleeping…You can have my room. The guest room gets a bit chilly, and the bed isn't as comfortable as mine is. I'll either sleep in the guest room, or out on the couch."

They were both pink by the time Kurogane finished what he wanted to say.

**--**

Kurogane had an entire closet that wasn't being used. It was rather big too…Not huge, but pretty wide. Fai would be able to hang up all of his clothes that he had brought along with him. There was also a desk that served no real purpose. The raven said that he only sat there if he was studying for an exam. Other than that though…It didn't get any attention. He showed Fai that there was a master bathroom connected to the bedroom. There was another bathroom in the main part of the house, but it didn't have a shower.

"Just make sure you lock the door if you're going to shower."

"You won't kick it down?" Fai teased.

"_Funny._"

The blonde left all of his things - still packed up - in Kurogane's room. He'd take them out later, but for now, they were hungry.

"We can order in, if you want…Or should I try to cook?" He blushed a bit, looking away,

"I don't cook much…It's edible, but I won't say that it tastes too good."

Fai giggled, and the ravens world brightened just by hearing the sound.

"Not a chef?"

"My freezer is filled with microwavable foods, and stove top dishes that are simple…Sidekicks, and such. I have bread, and lunchmeat too…Anything that can be made into a sandwich, I have…But I don't cook."

"Perhaps we should order in for today…I'll grab some food tomorrow, and I'll do the cooking while I'm here."

"You're okay with that?"

"You're letting me staying in this huge apartment--"

"--I kicked down your door--"

"--And I'm stealing your bed. I think we can call it even."

**--**

They had eaten until they couldn't eat anymore. They had ordered pizza and had pigged out together in the living room. Now they were sitting next to each other on the couch.

"We should watch a movie," the blonde announced, watching the commercials play out quietly on the television set.

"A movie? I don't know that I have any that would interest you…"

"I brought along some of mine…Just in case."

They went to the bedroom, and Fai pulled out the movies, setting them on the desk. He'd brought as many as he could fit into his bag…

"You choose. I don't know a lot of these titles."

"This one then," Fai announced, picking up one of the movies. The raven looked down to see which one the male had chosen. On the cover, a woman was lying down, with her face on her hand. She was smiling, but her eyes looked a bit sad. Behind her, a male lie, leaning over her, his lips parted to show that he was speaking. His head was propped up in one of his hands, and he was leaning on his elbow. He was looking down at the woman, with his lips near her ear. At the top, the title was written in red, cursive scrawl.

"What the hell is; _P. S. I Love You?_"

"You've _never_ seen this movie?"

"Never."

"Well then, it's a good thing that I brought it along."

**--**

The movie was just starting up, and already Kurogane was having trouble focusing. Fai was beside him…But they weren't even close enough so that their knees touched…They were close enough that one could easily nudge the other with their elbow…But that was it.

"I love this actor," Fai's voice cut through the movie, though he spoke quietly,

"I love the accent in this movie…Irish…It's so nice."

"You like accents?"

"Definitely. I _love_ accents…A lot of people do, though."

"…Do you have any favourites?"

The blonde blushed, keeping his eyes on the screen.

"Well…I like the Irish accent, of course…Australian…I love this scene!"

_There was no sound at first, until the two main characters stepped back onto the set._

"_Are we finished now love? Can I come back?"_

_The woman nodded, and whispered in agreement, before she rushed towards her husband. She took off over the back of the couch, onto the cushions, and then leapt into his arms - wrapping her legs around his hips. Their apologies began with kisses in between._

"_I'm not going anywhere."_

"I envy her. She's got everything and she doesn't even _know it! _She gets into a fight with her husband, and they come rushing back together, apologizing to each other…And the way she just…Leaps into his arms…" The blonde sighed,

"Sorry, I'm a total sap."

The raven smiled, chuckling a little.

"Accents…Hmm…I also love the English accent…And…"

Fai paused, unsure of whether or not he wanted to admit to it. He tried to focus on the screen, but it was hard…

"And…?" The raven questioned, waiting for the blonde the finish.

"…._And yours_…" Fai said it quickly, and was immediately embarrassed afterwards. He hadn't told him intentionally…

"Mine?" The voice was closer this time.

"…Yeah…"

"And why is that?" The raven positioned himself closer to the blonde. His arm was around the back of the couch, and he'd moved close enough so that their knees were touching.

"…Because it's thick…But not too thick…And it's rather…_Soothing_…"

"Is it really?" He wondered, his lips near Fai's ear,

"Is _that_ why you talk to me?" He was teasing now.

"…No…I talk to you because…" He trailed off again, his cheeks darkening in colour,

"…Because I like you…"

Now it was Kurogane's turn to change colour,

"You know…I haven't known you long…But sometimes, it doesn't _feel_ that way…Sometimes I feel like I've known you my _whole life…_"

Fai understood that only _too well. _He turned his head to face the raven, and gnawed on his lip a bit - deciding. He was overwhelmed. Before him was the man he wanted in his life…And he'd be damned if he was going to give up the chance…But wasn't he damned already? Because it was against his Fathers demands…

What right did that man have to dictate his life? He rarely came around anyways…

"…And I know I haven't been good to you…I kept messing things up…And I apologize for that - I do…" Kurogane sighed,

"But I can't handle it anymore Fai…I just _can't_…I hate it when we aren't talking to each other. I hate it more than anything else."

The blondes mouth fell open, just slightly, as he listened to what the male before him had to say.

"…I feel like I've known you for so _long_…And I hate not being close to you. It didn't take much for you to wrap me around your finger, either…" Here he smiled. The blondes heart was pounding against his chest, and he couldn't take his eyes away.

"And I'll be _damned_ if I let something _stop_ me…The fact that you're ill, doesn't deter me…And neither do your scars…And your _Father_ won't be able to _either. _I dare him to _try._"

"…"

Tears slid down the blondes cheeks. They carved paths on his flesh, marking a trail. But two thumbs swept them away, and a chaste kiss was placed on his lips.

"Seems I made you cry again…_Sorry_…"

"…No…You just said a lot of what I'd hoped to hear…" Fai leaned in, kissing the raven.

"However…You keep saying everything…Except the thing I want to hear…The _most_…"

Kurogane had one arm around Fai, and his other hand was on the males cheek. He allowed that hand to slip into the males hair - gently. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against that of the blonde.

"Fai…I love you." And when he opened his eyes, he watched as fresh tears rolled down Fai's cheeks. The blonde haired male exhaled happily, and managed to murmur,

"I love you too."

He pressed himself into a kiss once more, and he wasn't surprised - nor did he fight - when Kurogane's tongue delved into his mouth. Their kiss was deepened, and the blonde realized that no one could show their love through a kiss, in the way that his raven did.

**--**

**(A.N: Yay for new chapters! ****Don't worry, it isn't over! Also, I'd like to throw a big thanks out there to yoshikochan, for the chapter 9 review…I took your idea and put it into this chapter…In a rather literal sense, ne?**** ALSO! ****My news for the fans:**** A group of friends and I have started a Youtube Group channel. We won't be posting anything until ****next week,**** but I thought I'd put it out there for you! ****I'll post the channel name on my profile as soon as we start posting videos! Also, if you haven't seen: P. S. I Love You…Go watch it. NOW. It's so good! And the songs I recommend - that I listened to as I wrote this chapter - are: Give Me A Sign ; Breaking Benjamin. Monster ; Skillet, and Whispers In The Dark ; Skillet.**** I'm done now. ****R&R?)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**(****A.N: This is my explanation behind the question F. Jane asked in her review for chapter ten:**** I use the term, **_**male**_** instead of **_**boy, **_**or **_**man, **_**because when I think of the word **_**boy, **_**I usually picture a little kid. When I hear the word **_**man, **_**I usually picture a guy who is in his thirties…OR I'll picture this big, buff, muscular guy…Please don't ask me why…I'm still trying to figure that out for myself. But I can change the image once I read the description of the character…However, I don't like applying either of the above terms to Fai or Kurogane…-Shrug- And when I think of the word **_**male, **_**I can picture every age group of the male population. So I guess, in short…It's just easier for my pathetically small brain? -Shot- Anyways! ****TT means scene changes or time passing…**_'This means thoughts.' _**And sorry it took so long…R&R?)**

**TT**

Days had turned into weeks. Fai and Kurogane still lived in separate apartments, but they were closer than ever. So close, in fact, that the blonde practically lived with his boyfriend. But they didn't share an apartment…Fai still left every night - minus the weekends - to sleep at home.

A certain brunette haired male was feeling kind of down. He didn't mind if Kurogane had a boyfriend. He knew that everyone was unique, and that you really couldn't judge someone just because they _loved. _But, at the same time…He hated not hanging out with the raven. They'd been best friends for so long, and now, it felt like he wasn't important anymore. He didn't let on, of course, because he didn't want to bother his friend who was so clearly doing better.

And chaos had broken out the minute Kurogane showed up at school…Holding Fai's hand.

Ryuuoh had started off by asking what the hell the raven thought he was doing. When he wasn't met with a satisfactory answer, he set himself on making Fai's life a living hell. Calling him a _fag_ in the hallways, grabbing the tip of the blondes books as he passed by, and flipping them so that they would land on the floor. He'd even slammed him into the lockers a few times…Which stopped after Kurogane noticed the bruises…Ryuuoh learned to stay away from Fai when Kurogane was around…

He wasn't keen on having his face _rearranged._

He himself hadn't really been speaking to the rowdy male. He was turning hostile…And it was rather unnecessary.

"Hey, kid." The voice was so familiar that it caused him to immediately snapped out of his reverie and look up.

_It was Kurogane._

"Hey."

"You okay?"

He answered with a nod.

"Look…I know I haven't been around much…But…Fai is busy tonight. Sakura is kidnapping him. So I was going to see if you were busy…"

"I'm not busy," he answered simply. This was what he'd been waiting for…A chance to hang out with his friend.

**TT**

"Sakura-chan, where are we going?" Fai looked around himself at all of the buildings that passed them by as they continued down the street. Sakura sighed,

"Well I know you've been busy with living on another planet and all, so I guess you wouldn't be aware of it…But here, on Earth, it's October. And Halloween is in _two weeks_."

"…"

"…And I need a costume…_Badly_…"

"You're going to dress up?" He hadn't known about this.

"Of course I am! I'm not too old to have fun! Watanuki, Doumeki and I were even going to go trick-or-treating, just for the hell of it." She grinned as she thought about this.

"What are they going as?" Fai was really out of things these days. He needed to get more of a social life…

"Well, Doumeki _was_ going to go as a _ghost_…But he felt bad when Watanuki got anxious, so he apologized and decided to go as Frankenstein instead."

"Why do ghosts bother Watanuki?"

"Well…He's kind of got the sixth sense…He's spiritually inclined, you know?" The blonde nodded in reply, and Sakura continued,

"So Doumeki's going as Frankenstein…And Watanuki is going as a ghost buster."

The blonde burst into a fit of giggles upon hearing the words. Sakura joined him,

"It _is_ kind of _ironic_."

"What were you going to go as?" Fai wondered aloud, looking down to his female companion. She looked as though she were giving it some thought, but she didn't seem to have an answer.

**TT**

"No. Just…Put that one back," he shook his head from side to side. This had been going on for the past twenty minutes. Sakura took five dresses in with her at a time, came out, twirled for Fai, and he kept saying they didn't look right. She knew they didn't look _bad_ on her. Fai was just as much of a critic as she was - which was _exactly_ why she brought him along.

"You go look for something this time," she announced, heading back into the changing room. The blonde got up from his post, and wandered around the store. He dug through the depths of dresses - looking for the right costume - when he found it.

A white two piece. The top half cut off about midway down the stomach. There was a line running along near the bottom of it too. And purple sectioning at the top, with a nice blue gem fastened up in the front. The bottoms started off with a purple and golden band at the top, and then fell into a vast white stretch of dress. There was a sash-type piece in the front, and on it - and along the dresses bottom, there was purple sectioning. A bag came with this outfit, containing a golden band necklace, and a pair of white shoes.

Fai didn't hesitate any longer as he picked it up, and dashed for the changing rooms.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Find something?" She stuck her head out of the door.

"Possibly. Put this on, and come out when you're done." He thrust the dress at her. She sighed, and closed the door.

When she walked out, she did the usual twirl for the blonde. Fai stared,

"Sakura-chan…You look…_Amazing_…"

**TT**

"So what is it _like, _anyways?" She questioned. They were each holding a bag full of purchases from various stores, as they wandered down the street.

"What is _what_ like, Sakura-chan?" He didn't understand the question, which had erupted out of nowhere. Their last topic had been where they wanted to go next, so her question hadn't really had a stem…

"Living with him."

"…I don't." He wasn't lying. Kurogane and Fai simply didn't live together.

"You _don't_?" Emerald eyes showed confusion now. She apparently had assumed that they did, because they were always together.

"No. I don't. And it's probably for the better…I mean, no one is supposed to get close to me romantically anyways…Remember? It's bad enough that I allow myself to feel the way I do about him…Allow myself to love him like this…But…"

"Fai," she stopped walking, and waited for him to do the same. He did.

"You're human. I know your past was…Well…It was _awful_…More terrible than words can describe…But you're still human. You have to learn how to trust people again…You need to be able to rely on Kurogane…Even if it's just a little bit."

"…" He was staring at her, and he wasn't speaking. She knew what he was thinking,

"Yeah, I said it, okay?" She started walking again, and the blonde followed her - _grinning._

**TT**

"Listen Jiro…I wanted to ask something." He was standing before the landlord of the apartment complex. He felt kind of bad for having to approach him…He knew he made the male nervous.

"Kurogane…Is something wrong?" He already felt himself trembling a little. He didn't like talking to the raven haired male before him…He was always scowling…And he'd seen him knock down part of a wall with his fist before…

"Well…Not exactly." He wondered how he should word this…

"Oh. Then…?" He was trying not to set him off. He didn't know what kind of mood he was in.

"My lease is up in May…And…I wondered if I would be able to change it…Not right now, because I don't know if I should or not yet…But…If I need to, would I be able to?"

"…As long as you don't mind signing paperwork…And as long as you let me know at _least_ two weeks before you'd like to go…"

"Alright. Thanks." With that, he walked off.

Jiro sighed. He was getting to old for this.

**TT**

"I'll see you tomorrow Sakura-chan!"

"See you at school!" She called, before closing the door.

And then he was alone.

'_She actually __**wants**__ me to __**rely **__on him…That's so strange…'_ He thought to himself in silence, before he continued down the street. It was weird, walking alone. Sakura's absence made his trek home seem long, and endless. But soon enough, he'd lost himself in his thoughts.

He wanted to be with Kurogane, more than anything…Well, he was, in a way. They were dating, after all. But still…He went home every night, and hated waking up every morning. He wasn't complete on his own. He needed the raven, and his friends…

_Because when he was alone, he had nightmares._

But did he even _deserve_ the life he was living? He had so much freedom, and spent most of his time with Kurogane. Teasing him, laughing with him…Loving him. And then he had three best friends; Sakura, Watanuki and Doumeki.

But did he _deserve_ it?

Of course he did…Didn't he? He had a terminal illness, suffered child abuse, had been bullied, received scars from being burned, as well as from cutting, nearly killed himself drinking - on three separate occasions…

_But he had let his brother die __**alone.**_

He stopped walking.

His brother _had_ died alone. They shared an _illness, _but they did not share _death. _And he didn't know _why. _They had promised to be together, always…And he had broken his promise by staying _alive._

"Isn't that him?" A voice somewhere in the background, but he didn't pay it any mind.

He was too busy with his thoughts to notice anyone, so he went back to walking.

"Yeah, that's him…I'd know him anywhere."

Probably just some guys from school, making fun of the _faggot, _again. No surprise there.

"Flourite?"

'_Play it off, and don't let them bother you,' _he thought in his silence as he stopped walking, and turned to face the voices.

His eyes went wide.

He hadn't realized that he could still fear someone, after not seeing them for so many years. But he could; and he _did. _He clutched the handle of his shopping bag tightly and backed up a step.

"I think he remembers us, Aoi," the taller of the two spoke, and the voice sent chills up and down Fai's spine.

_Hands clutching him. A knee to his stomach. His clothes torn away…_

He could feel his scars as though they were on fire once more. These two were too familiar. Too close, and _too familiar._

"We shouldn't be out here, Mikail…You know what the court said…" The shorter one was trying to be logical. He didn't want to get in trouble again.

"Oh I'm just saying hello," Mikail smirked,

"It's been a while…Hasn't it, Yu--"

"--DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Fai hollered, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He didn't want to hear that name. _No. _No, that person was _dead. _He'd died alongside his twin four years ago…

Mikail ran a hand through his reddish-brown hair and his smirk deepened. He set his green eyes on Fai,

"But it's your name."

"…_No…" _He didn't want to be called that name. He had abandoned it four years ago…Along with his soul…He'd buried it with brother's coffin.

"Mikail…" Aoi spoke again, setting his blue eyes on the male. He shook his head of light, brunette hair and sighed,

"We're not supposed to be near him."

"What will the court do this time? Give us a larger restraining order?" The green eyed male didn't seem to care.

The blonde took the opportunity to open a text to his boyfriend. He dared a glance behind himself to read the street name, before he typed it in. He took his hand out of his pocket once more. Neither boys had noticed.

"And who is going to see us anyways Aoi? No one comes down here."

**TT**

He read the text for the third time as he picked up his keys. A street name. He knew this one too, it was a five minute walk from where he lived…And only a couple of minutes driving time. Fai wouldn't ask to be picked up from that area…It was a side street the male used as a way to avoid traffic, and people…

_Unless…_

Understanding made an audible click as realization dawned on him. He grabbed his keys.

**TT**

He'd dropped his bag already, so that he could at least have his hands, to fend for himself. Aoi wasn't approaching him, but Mikail was…And Mikail was the person Fai feared. Aoi had learned his lesson long ago, and had only been minimally involved in the attacks. He'd called Fai a _fag_ growing up, and on that terrible day, he had been the one to hold him, as Mikail kneed him in the stomach…He also had held his legs down. But Mikail had been the one to truly hurt the blonde.

He had called him a fag on various occasions, shoved him into lockers, hit him when the opportunity was there…And he was the reason Fai had so many scars.

Now he was standing a few feet away from him, and coming _closer._

"Flourite, you know…You were always so _fun_ to pick on. Except when your brother was still alive…He was such a pain in the ass. He came after me whenever I hurt you, you know." The male picked up the shopping bag and chucked it to Aoi, who caught it, set it down, and stepped away from it. He didn't want to be involved, and Fai was glad that at least he wouldn't be outnumbered.

"But he died. _Painfully and slowly, _if I remember correctly," Mikail spoke with a smile.

"…Shut-up Mikail…" The blonde murmured. He clenched his fists. He didn't know what he was feeling more at the moment…His fear, or his anger. Whatever it was, it made his adrenaline pulse through him at rapid speeds.

"Plan on fighting me, do you?" The green eyed male wondered, stepping closer,

"Trying so hard to be like your twin…But you can't be him, you know. He wasn't scared of me at all…But you're trembling." He reached out, trailing his fingers along Fai's cheek. The blonde lashed out, trying to hit the male,

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Mikail easily caught his wrist, and hooked his fingers around the other one as well. With his free hand, he grabbed the blonde by his hair,

"Who's going to save you now, Flourite? Who is going to come to your rescue this time? Your dead brother, perhaps?"

"Shut-up!"

Mikail threw the blonde to the ground, before he walked over to him, and landed a good kick in the males side. Fai cried out in pain, curling in on himself. But there was no one to stop his attacker. So he tried not to scream when the kicks hit his arms, and legs…His stomach…

He kept his face shielded from the blows. He didn't want to watch, and he didn't want a broken nose, or a black eye. He could hide the rest of the bruises with his clothing…

"Worthless faggot!" Mikail yelled, sending another kick to one of Fai's arms.

"Mikail! We have to leave!" Aoi called. He didn't want trouble, and he didn't want to get in Mikail's way either…

"Shut-up, Aoi!"

Tires screeched to a halt and someone leapt out of the car. Fai couldn't see who arrived, but he heard Mikail backing away, and someone stepping past him. Mikail was grabbed by his shirt collar, and thrown up against the wall of a nearby building.

"Who the hell do you think you ar--!" He was cut off as the person pulled him forward, before slamming his back against the building again.

"SHUT-UP!"

It was then that Fai knew who had shown up.

"You have some nerve, asking me for my name. You fucking bastard," the male growled, his grip tightening. Aoi picked up Fai's bag and brought it closer to the people before him, put it down, and backed up.

"You." Aoi looked to the dark figure before him.

"Your name, and his. _Now._"

"…I-I'm Aoi…And his name is--"

"SHUT-UP, AOI!" Mikail yelled, but the dark haired figure before him gripped him tighter, and held him up a little higher.

There was a silence then - minus Mikail's grunts as he struggled to get free.

"…Kuro…Rin…" The voice was hoarse, and as soon as the name was spoken, the blonde coughed, hard. He was tired, and aching.

"Ooi," he spoke to him then, though he didn't take his eyes off of Mikail and Aoi,

"You're alright?"

"…Bruised a bit…" Fai managed to say,

"Leave Aoi…Alone…He didn't…Do anything…It was…Mikail…The one you're…" More coughing. But the raven had heard enough. He looked to Aoi and nodded,

"You heard him. Get the hell out of my sight, before I change my mind."

The brunette didn't waste time in getting out of the way. The raven set his eyes on the green eyed male he was holding up.

"I'll have the cops after you for attacking me!" The male threatened weakly. The raven didn't look bothered, but he landed the male a good punch in the face before addressing him,

"Che. _Good luck. _You have no idea who you're fucking with right now, _kid. _You think I don't have enough money to bail myself out of prison? You _clearly_ don't _know_ me. If I really wanted to, I could hire someone to kill you _for_ me…Even if I got caught, I could _still_ bail myself out. So go ahead, call the police. I'm sure they'd love to hear about you attacking _him_," he inclined his head in Fai's general direction. Mikail was trembling…

"What's wrong? Scared of me? _Good. _You _should_ be. Because if you _ever _come near him again, or send _someone else _after him…You're fucking _dead. _I'll make _sure_ of it." He paused a moment,

"Do we have an understanding then?"

The green eyed boy nodded. The raven threw Mikail down to the ground,

"Now, get out of my sight."

When the two had disappeared, Kurogane sighed. He unlocked his car doors, and opened up the passenger side. He picked up Fai's shopping bag and put it on the floor, before he picked up the blonde himself. He cradled him carefully against his chest and carried him to the car.

_Fai was unconscious, as soon as he knew he was safe._

**TT**

He was beginning to stir.

He didn't know how long he'd been out, but he was sore all over…

His eyes cracked open slightly, and he blinked, only opening his eyes a little bit again. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, before he turned his head to the left. Couch. He blinked again, and turned his head to the right. Television on low, playing some random sitcom, and a glass coffee table. He lie there, watching it absently, before it finally dawned on him that he wasn't at home.

He shot up, and instantly regretted it. He was sore, and he gripped his head - it was _pounding. _He hadn't been hit in the face, but the back of his head had been kicked a few times.

"Ooi, you need to take it easy," a deep voice instructed, and a warm hand eased him back into lying down. He stared at the raven before him. He didn't know what to say.

"…You told me you didn't know their names," Kurogane muttered, glaring at Fai.

"…I didn't think I would see them again…_Ever_…" The raven was moving his hand away, but the blonde reached out and held onto it. He massaged an area on the back of it with his thumb,

"Don't be mad," he murmured, _"Please?"_

Kurogane sighed in response,

"I'm not mad. Well, not at _you_." He glared at the coffee table. He was clearly still thinking about Aoi and Mikail…Particularly Mikail.

"You know, I thought you were going to kill him right then and there."

"I was tempted."

Fai eased himself into a sitting position, and intertwined his and his boyfriends fingers. He pressed his forehead against the ravens shoulder and sighed,

"Thank you…For coming to get me…"

"What else would I have done?" Kurogane wondered aloud, giving Fai's hand a small squeeze.

"I don't know…But I had an interesting conversation with Sakura-chan."

"Oh?" That worried him. He knew she wasn't fond of him.

"Mm-hm. She told me to…Rely on you more…That it was okay to do that…"

"…" It was at that moment that he heard a fist on his front door.

"Ohh, my head…" Fai groaned, lying himself back down. Kurogane took the chance to get up so that he could answer the door. He checked the peephole, and pulled the door open.

"Look, a congregation."

"How is he?" Sakura demanded.

"Bruised pretty badly, but he's okay. Keep your voice down, his head is killing him. Jeeze, you rounded up the whole grou--Syaoran?"

"You took off, so I went to go see Sakura…And well…They picked me up along the way…"

**TT**

He was just letting the four into his house, when another person showed up. Chi had come running down the hall, and he let her in without question.

Kurogane got Doumeki to help him move the coffee table back, so that people could sit by Fai. Sakura crouched before him, with Chi next to her. Syaoran stayed back a bit, by the coffee table. Doumeki and Watanuki stood behind the couch, and the smaller of the two leaned against the back of it. Kurogane wandered into his kitchen, to get drinks for the others. He grabbed sodas for Syaoran, Watanuki, Doumeki, and Sakura. And for Fai and his sister, he was heating water for their tea.

The blonde started stirring as soon as he heard the kettle going off.

"See? He can ignore _us, _but as soon as a _kettle_ goes off…" Chi's voice reached Fai's ears, and his eyes cracked open. He hadn't realized that he'd fallen back asleep.

"Fai, you're awake…" Sakura's voice greeted him next, and he was suddenly aware of her presence.

"…Hi…" He managed to croak out. He looked to his left, and found Watanuki and Doumeki. He smiled,

"Surrounded by friends, and my sister."

"How are you, Fai-san?" Watanuki questioned.

"I've been better, but I'm okay," he looked past Sakura and found that Syaoran was sitting not too far away, looking a little out of place,

"That you, Syaoran-kun?"

The brunette looked up, and gave the blonde a smile and a nod.

"Hyuu…Everyone is here…But where's…?"

"I'm right here," Kurogane spoke up, stepping into the room. He put the tray of drinks on the table, and picked up Chi's and Fai's. He handed Chi her drink, and set Fai's on the side table. He picked up his cup of coffee, and watched over his boyfriend.

"Hmm, now I _really do _have everyone here," Fai murmured, easing himself into a sitting position. Kurogane didn't waste any time in sitting next to him. Fai leaned against him.

**TT**

When the group had finally gone home for the night, Fai sat on the couch, not looking at anything in particular. Kurogane positioned himself behind the male, and pulled him close, resting his chin - gently - on the blondes shoulder. Fai sighed,

"I'm sorry for causing trouble."

"I'm not mad at you…Okay, a little bit, but only because you lied about not knowing their names."

"I didn't want you to go looking for a fight," Fai argued gently. Kurogane sighed in response, and held his boyfriend closer. He was careful not to hold him too closely, out of the fear that he would hurt him,

"Ooi. I want to say something."

"…"

"…That conversation that you had with Sakura…" He paused for a moment,

"Well…She's right…You _can_ rely on me…"

"…_Kergs…"_

Fai couldn't say anything more. He was using up all of his energy in restraining himself from crying.

Just when he thought it would be the end of everything, Kurogane turned right around and contradicted him.

He truly loved this man.

**TT**

**(A.N: I lost track of how many times I have listened to I Dare You To Move by Switchfoot, but I played it the whole time I worked on this chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. ****And don't worry, there will be more.**** R&R?)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

(A.N: Alright, so here is chapter 12! WOO! I haven't updated this since May! I'm sorry you guys! Please don't murder me! Oh, by the way…**When you've completed this chapter, do me a big favour and PLEASE read the Author's Note at the bottom.** PLEASE. **TT** means time passing or scene changes, and _'this is a thought.'_ **R&R?** I love you guys for it!)

**TT**

_Halloween._

Fai's bruises had faded out, and he'd healed over rather well. And now, it was Halloween. And, as he finished with applying the contacts to his eyes, he found himself crying.

The contacts made his eyes burn, but it would be worth it, to have his eyes appear a different colour. He'd already applied the teeth which – thankfully – didn't mess up his speech.

"Fai! Hurry up in there!" Sakura called, pounding a fist on the bathroom door. The blonde smiled, wiping his eyes.

Checking his reflection in the mirror, he was stunned to see that the amber eye colour, actually corresponded with his hair colour. Turning to the door, he pulled it open.

He looked amazing, leaning in the doorway.

"Fai-san…You really look like a…A…" Watanuki couldn't even say the word. His friend looked briliant. If he were still a little kid…He'd probably believe that the male truly was a…

"Vampire?" Fai questioned, smiling. The fangs he's applied looked as though they were a natural part of his smile. They weren't too long – just long enough to hold some symbolism.

"Mm-hm!" The short, raven haired male agreed, nodding.

"Thank you. I love you costume too! And Doumeki-kun," He turned his attention to the taller male,

"If I were a little kid, I think I'd actually be afraid of you," Fai chuckled. The raven haired male smiled a bit in response. His costume was completely reminiscent of the Frankenstein horror films.

Sakura looked wonderful as a Princess – her dress chosen by Fai, of course. And not too far away from her…

"Syaoran-kun, it's not too heavy, is it?" Fai wondered aloud, seeing the male walking around wearing armour.

"No, not at all. It's not real armour, so it's not too heavy."

The blonde nodded. They were almost complete…But they were missing one person.

"Where is…?" Amber eyes were wide momentarily as the blonde felt that surge of panic passing through his system. Whenever the raven was too far away, he panicked a bit.

_He'd been this way ever since the attack._

"Ooi, calm down. I'm right here." Kurogane's voice reached his ears before the male reached him himself. But in no time, he was standing before him, wearing a white dress shirt that was stained with red blotches, and ripped and torn. To accentuate the outfit, he wore simple black pants – it would bring a lot of focus to the _blood-covered_ shirt he was wearing.

"Ahh, you look very…Appetizing…" The blonde murmured.

A chill ran through Kurogane, and he had to focus his mind. They were _not alone,_ and therefore, he couldn't try anything with his boyfriend. Not that they were a sexual couple…At least, not yet. He'd wondered about it though…Not a lot, but it passed through his thoughts at times.

He was afraid to try anything, because he didn't know how Fai would react.

"What do you think Kuro-rin?" The voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Do I make a good vampire?"

The raven nodded, and pulled Fai into a hug,

"Of course you do," he mumbled, giving him a kiss on his forehead.

"Hyuu~! Kuro-sama likes my costume!" Fai was dressed all in black, which made him look even skinnier than he already happened to be. It also accented the eyes…

"Lets get a move on, before they get mushy!" Sakura announced, heading out the door.

Fai chuckled, and – rather reluctantly – moved himself away from Kurogane, so that he could walk outside. The hesitation hadn't gone unnoticed by the raven, but he said nothing.

**TT**

"Trick-or-treat!"

"My, my…What wonderful costumes! A ghostbuster, Frankenstein, a knight, and his Princess…" Both Syaoran and Sakura blushed at this. Dating references were common among the two – although they weren't actually a couple. They were still becoming best friends again.

"Oh my goodness! Are you alright?" The womans eyes fell on Kurogane, who appeared to be covered in blood. Watanuki rushed to explain,

"He's not really bleeding! He's okay. It's just a costume!"

"Oh…I see…And...What are you supposed to be?"

Now Fai stepped forward. Sliding his hands onto the ravens neck, he stood in front of him, and off to the side a bit. He allowed himself an amber eyed glance at the woman in the doorway, and revealed his fangs as he answered for the taller male,

"He's my prey."

**TT**

The night consisted of many people panicking over Kurogane's bloodied state, until they saw Fai hanging off of him – clearly as a vampire. There were also kids who were scared away by Fai – unintentionally – because they believed that he truly _was_ a vampire. Some were scared off by Kurogane's blood…And others feared Doumeki as Frankenstein.

It was a night of laughter, and candy. Kurogane wasn't collecting any candy, he was just there to satisfy Fai's needs. The blonde clearly needed him to come along if he was going to go out at all – and he'd begged him to dress up at least a little bit.

The raven had decided on his constume on his own. Fai had been confused by his appearance, until he'd explained what he was supposed to be. Ever since, the blonde had been ecstatic.

When they finally returned to Kurogane's apartment, laughing, Fai danced into the ravens bedroom. Everyone was confused, until the male returned, holding a couple of brown, paper bags.

"Where did you get that?" Sakura demanded.

"I have friends who are the legal age, thank you," the blonde retorted, then he grinned,

"Lets break out the alcohol!"

Sakura sighed, clearly frustrated – though no one knew why she was annoyed. She hadn't told them about that yet…And neither had Fai.

It didn't take the male long to pour himself a glass of vodka mixed with soda. He plopped himself down next to his boyfriend, and took a drink from his glass. Liking the strangely bad yet wonderful aftertaste the drink – and enjoying the familiarity of the drink itself – the blonde sighed, satisfied.

"I didn't know you drank alcohol," Kurogane muttered, glancing at Fai, who took another drink from his glass.

"I haven't had alcohol in two years."

"There's a _reason_ behind that, _isn't there_ Fai?" Sakura growled.

"Sakura-chan. It's supposed to be a good night…And besides, I haven't done anything _that_ stupid in a _long time._ It's been _two years,_ _relax._ Besides, Kuro-rin won't let me do anything terrible, right?"

"Define terrible," the raven teased.

"…Not in front of our friends," Fai answered softly. However, he didn't appear to be joking. His blue eyes clouded over with a darkness that held the same power as Sakura's glare. Which was currently fixated on the blonde in question.

Of course, realizing his mistake, Fai giggled, and took another drink,

"It's not that important, really."

**TT**

By now, Fai had consumed two glasses of vodka with soda. He'd also done two shots of pure vodka – because he said he enjoyed the burning sensation of the alcohol.

By now, Fai was also a bit drunk, and working at his third glass of vodka and soda.

Doumeki had turned down the offer of drinking – he was the ride home for the others, so he didn't want to risk any chances of causing an accident. Watanuki was proud of his boyfriend, for being so responsible. No one else wanted to drink, but they did trade candy before Fai got _too_ drunk.

Watching the male go into a drunken state, Sakura rolled her eyes in her annoyance. She looked to Kurogane, and nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen.

The ravens eyebrows lifted in surprise, but he didn't argue. He turned to Fai, and took hold of one of his hands,

"Hey, I'll be right back, alright?"

The blonde reacted in the same way that he would have if he'd been sober. His blue eyes went wide – he'd removed his contacts already – and he panicked. He gripped Kurogane's hand – tightly.

"Relax. I'm only going to the kitchen for a couple of minutes. Stay here with Watanuki."

Upon hearing his name, the shorter male plopped himself down beside his blonde companion, and Fai nodded, releasing his boyfriends hand.

**TT**

When they had entered the kitchen, Sakura hoisted herself up onto the counter. She set her emerald gaze on the raven – who was watching her with confusion.

"…Fai is…_Drunk_…" She muttered.

"Is this going to be a _state-the-obvious_ competition?" The raven wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, but didn't look angry. Just sad…

"…Don't let him drink any more tonight."

"…What aren't you telling me?" Her request had thrown him off.

"…" She didn't know if she should be the one to tell him.

"Ooi…"

"—He used to drink, when he was fifthteen. He would get himself completely smashed until he was sick all day the next day," she wasn't looking at him.

"Well, I'll keep an eye on him then…"

"…He overdosed three times…"

"…" Red eyes went wide upon hearing the words.

"He was hospitalized for all three of those times…He was involved with the wrong crowd for a while…I don't think he's spoken to them since. This is the first time I've seen him drinking since he was fifthteen…"

"…" He didn't answer, but he sighed. He headed back into the living room.

**TT**

"It's that late? Okay!" Fai stood up, setting his drink down on a coaster on the table. He held his arms open, and Sakura hugged him.

"Night Sakura-chan!"

"Night Fai. Take it easy with the drinking, okay?"

"I _told_ you, it's not like that." He hugged Watanuki next, and waved to Syaoran and Doumeki.

When everyone was gone, and Kurogane had locked the door behind them, the raven sat down next to his boyfriend. Fai picked up his drink, and took another sip from it.

"Kuro-rin?"

"What?" The question came out a little too sharply. The blonde sighed. He was drunk, but he wasn't an _idiot._ The feeling of being drunk was a tingling sensation…It lifted his head into a strange place, and made him laugh at things more. But, he was still perfectly capable of rational thought. That was the way he got when he was drinking.

He only lost himself when he let himself get completely smashed – to the point where he couldn't even see.

He was _no where near_ that state right now.

"Kuro-rin…What did she say?"

"…That you're not to have any more to drink tonight, after that glass." He gestured to the glass in Fai's hand, and the blonde put on a sad smile.

"She told you."

"She's protecting you."

Fai didn't answer, but he finished off his drink, and set the glass down. He'd somehow managed to drink with his fangs still attached – he'd forgotten they were there.

Kurogane wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, and the blonde happily snuggled into the ravens side.

"How do you feel?"

"Drunk. But I can still see and think properly…So I'm not too far gone."

"…Why did you do it?"

"…You already know why. My past wasn't a good thing…My Father, the child abuse, the bullying, the deaths, the cutting…Really does the drinking surprise you _that much?_"

"Not when you put it like that."

The blonde smiled a bit, and looked up at his boyfriend.

_But Kurogane wasn't smiling._

"Kergs. You need to _relax_," Fai murmured, moving away. He carefully slid himself into his boyfriends lap – facing him,

"I haven't had alcohol in two _years_ – almost three years now. Sure, I haven't been the happiest person on the planet my whole life, but who is? Everyone suffers."

"No one should suffer like you did," the raven murmured, wrapping his arms around the blonde in his lap.

"You're so sweet. You're too good for someone like me, really. But, you're still here," the blue eyed male had no idea why his boyfriend didn't up and leave after hearing his story.

"That's because I love you," Kurogane reminded him gently.

"And I love you," Fai admitted, blushing a bit. He continued,

"So, relax…Take it easy…Or I'll bite you." He flashed his fangs in a grin, and the raven smiled a little.

Fai giggled,

"Actually, you'd probably like it too much if I bit you," he teased. To prove his point, he tilted his head to the side, and moved his lips to the side of Kurogane's neck. He kissed the flesh, and then opened his mouth – as though he might actually bite the raven.

However, instead of biting down, the blonde dragged the faux fangs across the ravens flesh, slowly.

Kurogane hissed in response.

"Hmm? Kuro-rin…Am I…" He blinked up at the male, before he repeated his actions – only to be met with the same response.

"…Am I arousing you?" Fai murmured near his boyfriends ear, liking the reaction.

"Know your limit," Kurogane grunted, avoiding eye contact. He would never let anyone else see him in a moment of weakness.

"Hyuu~" The blonde whispered,

"I'll take that as a yes."

Fai managed to remove the fangs, and they landed somewhere. He wasn't sure where. It didn't really matter at this point.

He scooted himself closer to his boyfriend – remaining in his lap.

"Fai." His voice was stern.

"Hm?"

"_No_."

Fai looked up at him and pouted,

"Why not?"

"_No_." It was a simple answer, and it was the one he was going to stick to. He couldn't let Fai do this…At least, not while he was _drunk._

"Why not?"

"You're drunk."

"I know, but I can still see…And I can still think…I know what I'm _doing,_ Kergs."

"We're _not_ doing _that._ Not while you're drunk." He didn't want Fai to get himself all caught up in his feelings of bliss that were coming from his alcohol consumption.

If they were going to have sex, they'd damn well do it while they were both _sober._

"But Kuro-rin~"

"No. That's my final answer."

"…You don't want me…" Fai murmured, looking upset. He looked like his heart had just been ripped in two, right before his very eyes, and then handed back to him.

"I never said that," he stroked his fingers through the blonde locks.

"…But you implied it…You don't want me…"

"Fai…I don't want to do something so serious with you, when you've consumed alcohol…Okay? If you want us to do that, we'll do so when you're sober. I don't want to take advantage of you being in this state."

"…You _do_ love me…" Fai murmured, hugging himself closer to the raven.

Kurogane sighed, but held the blonde closer.

**TT**

When his eyes next opened, he found himself to be shirtless. He was dressed only in his boxers, and his head hurt like madness. In fact, his whole body hurt like hell.

_What had happened last night?_

He tried to recap.

He'd been getting dressed, and they'd all gone trick-or-treating. They'd come back to Kurogane's apartment, and…He'd broken out his secret stash of vodka. Sakura had gotten pissed off…She'd told Kurogane about the binge drinking, and the hospitalization…And his friends left…And after that…

He then remembered that he'd been arousing his boyfriend…

Blushing, he covered his face.

'_Please, tell me we didn't do it! Oh no…No one is supposed to get that close to me! No one…And I didn't want my first time with someone to be when I was __**drunk**__…I don't even __**remember**__ it…None if it…What happened? Did we…Is that why I'm sore?'_ Fai was panicking in silence – his eyes wide beneath his hands.

Kurogane felt the trembling on the bed, so he groaned, and sat up. When he noticed that the blonde appeared to be having a panic attack, he sighed,

"You can relax you know."

Fai whipped his head around to face him.

"You got drunk…And you tried to get us to…" Kurogane cleared his throat,

"We didn't. I told you last night – though you were drunk, so you probably wouldn't remember – that I wouldn't take advantage of your drunken state. I didn't want you to regret yourself in the morning."

"Then why am I so sore? I mean, the headache I can understand, but why…?"

"Well, you decided you could handle more alcohol – even though I'd told you that you weren't to have any more. And you wound up dancing around like an idiot…You crashed into the walls a few times…And you fell on your ass a few times too."

Fai sighed. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding his breath.

"…Thank you…For not…Well, you know…I mean, other people would've…"

"I know. But…I'm not like other people." Kurogane reminded him with a small smile. He got up then, and wandered to the kitchen,

"Stay where you are. I'm bringing you cold water, and some advil."

"Alright." Fai sprawled himself back out on the bed, and looked to the television in the ravens room. He wondered if there was a remote somewhere nearby, but couldn't be bothered with looking for it.

When Kurogane stepped back into the room, he handed the blonde two advils, and a cold water bottle.

"I've already opened it for you, to make it a little easier on you." He had another water bottle in hand – clearly for himself. Fai took the advil with some of his water, and thanked Kurogane again. The raven nodded, and pulled open the bedside table drawer. He reached a hand in, and pulled out the remote for the t.v.

Handing it to Fai, he then closed the drawer, and went to lie behind the male once more. And as Fai turned on the television set, Kurogane curled up behind him, and wrapped a warm arm around his waist.

**TT**

**(A.N:** Alright, I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! Now, here's why I wanted you to read this A.N. **1. I have a youtube account…And I've just started making AMV's…So, if anyone wants to see some of my work, then please go to youtube, and in the youtube search bar, type in: NekojinAmako.** You'll be able to see the lame ass who sits around writing fanfics for you guys too. Sorry if I look like a loser. –Facepalm- And! **2. I was thinking about making a Fb group page, or something, for the fans of fanfictions…And I was going to make it on Facebook…I don't know if I should or not, what do you guys think? Would any of you actually join it?** XD And 3. Halloween! Does anyone else hear Renge of Ouran's voice in their head? HALLOWEEN! So dramatic Renge. So dramatic. XD I know, totally off topic. **Hope to see some reviews – and answers – BYE GUYS!)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**(A.N:** Alright, so it's been almost two weeks since I last updated…I've been trying to update my L x Light fanfic…I'm almost done chapter 2 – chapter 3 is written in full already – I'm just kind of…Stuck. It's on its way though. But of course, I've become distracted by KuroFai…Again. I have more ideas for this on the way, but for now, here is chapter 13…I hope this is enough for now. **TT** means scene changes or time passing. _'These are thoughts.' _** So this chapter is in dedication to Rose – because she and I agree that Tomoyo is a rabid yaoi fangirl. –nod- R&R? I appreciate it).**

**TT**

Fai had been doing rather well.

He'd gotten the scars on his back, transformed into a tattoo – and it looked surprisingly like a phoenix. The blonde had reveled in the new design on his back, and had even become less self-conscious about being shirtless.

Kurogane had been with him the entire time – every Doctors appointment, every tattooing session, every sick day, good day, bad day…_All of it._

But there had also been days where he'd been missing, and Fai wasn't sure _where he went_ on those days.

He'd be gone for an entire day, and when questioned, he never gave a decent answer. It was always: _I had something to take care of._

Fai was afraid on those days. Afraid that he was going to lose Kurogane…Afraid that the male didn't want him, and was planning some way of getting rid of him…

_But he never did. _

Today was one of those days. Rather, it was one of the many days this _week._ It was so frustrating when he didn't get to see the male…He'd come to his house, and the raven wasn't even _here…_

But his things were rather packed up, and it was horrifying to the blonde. Kurogane had apparently been boxing things up for a while now…

'_His lease was supposed to be up in May, but he got an extension…And he's been gone basically all of this week…He isn't answering his cell phone…I can't get a hold of Syaoran, or Tomoyo, or Shogo, or even Fuuma…'_ His friends were busy today – Sakura had a small project to do, and Doumeki and Watanuki were out on a date. And he didn't want to call Chi down, in case she was taking a day to herself with Hideki.

So he was simply sitting in his own pit of misery, curled up on his boyfriends couch. And what else was he meant to think about, besides the fact that they weren't meant to get as close as they had already become? He spent almost ever waking moment with Kurogane. It probably wasn't healthy to be tied to his hip like that, but Fai _needed him._

When you're told all of your life how worthless and disgusting you are…It's kind of nice when you find someone who loves and appreciates you…Who treats you exactly how you want to be treated…

He clung to the pillow he'd brought out of the ravens room.

Was this _really _going to be the end of everything he'd come to love so much? It couldn't be…

He thought back to Christmas, and how Kurogane had gotten a Christmas tree. He'd never bothered with getting one before…But Fai had merely mentioned it in passing, and the raven had hauled off and brought one home. He'd taken hours fixing the lights so that they were perfect, and the blonde had hugged him as tightly as he could when he'd come back to find a tree in the apartment.

They'd stayed up all night decorating it, and Fai had woken up to the sound of the kettle whistling. Kurogane had taken the time to heat up the water for his tea before the blonde had even opened his eyes.

And – when the blue eyed male had freshened up and gotten dressed – he'd been met with another surprise. He'd walked out into the living room, and found his older sister, and her boyfriend – Hideki. Tomoyo was also there. It had turned out that Kurogane had invited Chi and Hideki over because he knew they were Fai's only real family.

The blonde had almost cried at the thoughtfulness of his raven.

And when Fai thought back to New Years, he couldn't imagine why their relationship would end.

New Years had been chilly to most, but not to him. He was so used to the cold…And Kurogane had been right beside him through all of it…

The raven had invited all of their friends and family over for New Years, and Fai had been so surrounded by love and friendship, that he actually _had_ cried – though it was in pure joy.

He'd never known so much happiness in his _lifetime._ He'd never been so happy. Sakura had been rather cuddly with Syaoran too – he'd noticed, and by Valentine's day, the two had ended up together. Fai remembered cheering.

Hideki had pulled out a surprise at New Years as well. Pulled it right out of his pocket, got down on one knee, and asked Chi to marry him.

Fai had been so happy for his sister, and yet he'd envied her. She had Hideki, who was a sweet guy, who took care of her, as she took care of him. They were there for each other, and ready to commit to one another for the rest of their lives.

The blonde smiled as the memories passed through his mind. Christmas, New Years…And then of course, there had been Sakura, Syaoran, and Watanuki's birthday…How odd, that they were all born on the same day, and yet in _no way_ were they related.

That had been a rather big event, as there were three people – all friends, and all celebrating at once. It had been as big as New Years. And there had been a lot of cake…And some alcohol…But Kurogane was there to control his drinking.

So much time had passed since he'd met the raven…And the male had clearly impacted his life. He'd made him happier…He stressed a lot less…And he was being taken care of.

It was already the end of June, and he wondered if things would improve again. If these absences would stop, or at least, let up.

**TT**

"That is the sixth time he's called you today," Sakura noted, sighing. She knew Fai was dependent on the raven in question, but she also knew that he would love his reason for being away so much – when he was allowed to know.

"Yeah…" Kurogane was slightly distracted. He'd been at this all morning, all afternoon…_All week._ With a few of his spare days in throughout the months…Days, and weekends, when he had forced Fai to go off with Sakura, or Chi…Just so he and the others could get some work done.

"Have you even mentioned any of this in the slightest?" Sakura's voice questioned him, as she worked on covering a patch of white. She knew how much he would have hated to see white on the walls.

"Nope." He was currently working on changing the light bulb in the ceiling light. Doumeki was being helpful in holding onto the ladder.

"You haven't mentioned _anything_ to him at all?" Chi questioned, stepping back into the room. Hideki was in another room, supporting the ladder for Shogo, so that the male could change a light bulb in another ceiling light.

"Nope." Kurogane was on his way back down now.

"You don't think he'll worry?"

"He will. But, I don't want him to know about it. It's meant to be a surprise. How surprising will this be if I tell him what I'm up to?"

"That's the last of the paint job!" Sakura announced cheerfully.

They'd been working on this for so long now, she was happy that they wouldn't have to paint anything more. The bathrooms were completely done already – those had been their first concerns. The plumbing was perfect, and the fixtures were all already set in place. It was painted, everything was set…

The kitchen was also done. That had been the second thing – along with soundproofing the bedrooms. And today they'd been painting the living room, and fixing the light fixtures up. They'd also set up the bedrooms. Most of them just had the basics of being comfortable. Beds with fresh sheets and side tables. Fairly sized closets for clothes…

"It's hard to believe that everything is basically done…Well, minus some details here and there," Chi's surprise showed on her face.

"Yeah, you know, you're still missing your clothes, and your living room needs to be set up…Food in the fridge would be a good thing too…" Sakura teased.

"Speaking of food, when they're finished making the beds upstairs…Can we go eat? I think everyone needs a break from hauling all of these things around all day." Chi looked worn out. She'd been helping with moving around the heavy stuff all day.

Kurogane checked his phone for the time,

"I guess so, yeah. We need some time for this paint to dry before we can bring in the stuff for the living room anyway."

"More heavy lifting?" She looked tired just thinking about it.

"Not for you," Tomoyo told her, coming downstairs,

"The _boys_ can handle it."

Kurogane smiled a bit at this, as the rest of the group came back downstairs, and out from various locations in the house.

"What's left?" Fuuma's voice was heard this time.

"Setting up the living room, and getting rid of the floor covers. Carpets and all of that are already laid out, so we just have to get rid of the plastic coverings…But first; we're going out to eat."

"Maybe you should call Fai. He'll probably want to see you…And the rest of us…" It was Chi again,

"And you know we all left out good clothes in the bathrooms, so that we could paint in these ragged things," she gestured to what they were all wearing. Paint covered t-shirts and pants.

"We'll leave the housework clothes here, and he'll never know we were all here together, or what we were up to," Sakura shrugged.

The raven didn't see any harm in that, so he nodded, and told everyone to go change, while he made the call.

**TT**

His cell phone was going off, so he picked it up in a hurry.

"Kurogane?" He was a little annoyed at being left alone all day.

"…Hey."

Well, _that_ couldn't be good.

"Where are you?"

"I had something to take care of." Yeah, like he didn't see _that one_ coming.

"…"

"Listen, the gang and I were thinking we should all hook up for dinner. How does that sound?"

"…The whole gang?"

"Minus Seishiro, Kamui, and Subaru – they're out of town. Seishiro's still away visiting whoever, and Subaru's still off visiting his parents – Kamui went with him."

"I thought that Doumeki and Watanuki were on a _date_," Fai's voice was firm, accusing…

"They were – earlier. Then I called them because Chi called me. She knows we haven't seen much of each other lately, so she figures it's a good idea."

Fai sighed, exasperated. There was no need to put up a fight. He would get to see Kurogane for the first time this week…And his friends – who had – suspiciously enough - been _missing_ this entire time.

"Fai?"

"…Yeah, okay. Alright. Are you going to pick me up?"

"Of course I'm going to pick you up. Just give me a few minutes – I have to pick up Syaoran and Sakura." It was a lie, because they were already with him – but it would explain why he was taking so long.

**TT**

It wasn't hard to separate people into two cars. In Kurogane's car, he had the drivers seat, with the front passenger seat wide open for his boyfriend. In the middle two seats, were Syaoran and Sakura, and in the back, Shogo, Primera, and Tomoyo. In Doumeki's car – he had the drivers seat, with Watanuki sitting with him up front. Chi, Hideki and Fuuma were sitting the back.

It also didn't take long for them to reach their destination. Sakura had been texting the blonde the entire time – so he was waiting outside when they got there.

Everyone half expected him to skip joyfully to the car, and hop in, smiling. Everyone expected him to kiss his boyfriend in front of everyone, and then to realize that he wasn't alone in the car, and to blush like crazy.

_But he didn't do any of these things._

He walked to the car, opened the door, got inside, and pulled on his seatbelt. After waiting a moment, he turned to see who was in the car.

Everyone said their own greetings, and he smiled and returned the greetings. Kurogane didn't speak. He _knew_ better. His boyfriend was downright pissed off at him – and he was understanding about it. If Fai had been sneaking off for a week, and not telling him the details behind what he was up to…

Guilt made its way through him, as they pulled out of the parking lot.

**TT**

It seemed so strange to the group of them.

They were sitting in a U-shaped booth, with two chairs pulled up at the open end of the table, so that everyone could sit together. Sakura was tucked in between Syaoran and Tomoyo – as usual. Shogo and Primera, Watanuki and Doumeki, and Chi and Hideki were all sitting as couples…But then Fai was tucked between Kurogane and Fuuma.

That alone wasn't so unusual…_However…_

Fai had his attention solely on _Fuuma._

It was a common knowledge that the two had become best friends over the course of them knowing one another. And – due to Kamui's absence – Fai was using on of his best friends as his scapegoat.

Everyone had ordered their drinks already, and now they were going through the menus, trying to decide on what exactly they wanted to eat.

"You've decided already, Tomoyo-chan?" Syaoran questioned, looking over in surprise.

"I always get the same thing when I'm here," she explained, smiling. He smiled back, and turned his conversation to Sakura. Everyone seemed to be having this discussion of what they wanted.

"What about you Fai? What are you looking at?" Fuuma inclined his head in the blondes direction – knowing full well that the male was trying to irritate Kurogane…And knowing also that it was working.

It was a little concerning to know that the blonde didn't even have to _flirt,_ in order to make the raven jealous. He simply had to ignore him, and focus his attention on another man, and that was _more than enough_ to drive Kurogane _absolutely crazy._

"I don't know. I keep flipping through the pages, but I don't know what I want…"

"How opposed are you to spicy food?"

"Hm…I like spicy food." The blonde looked confused, but amused.

Fuuma grinned, reaching over to flip the blondes menu to the pages he was looking at. Spicy was written in flame designed letters, and there were plenty of choices. The two easily became little kids, looking through their menus together, and trying to decide what they'd get.

Kurogane rolled his eyes. He hadn't expected Fai to blatantly avoid him. It was a bit _annoying…_

Chi met his expression. Her eyes alone clearly said that she wasn't impressed. They both knew that Fai was upset at being left alone so much…But this wasn't a way to seek revenge on the raven.

**TT**

"…Are you not coming in?"

"I have something to take care of." He knew that the blonde was tired of his excuses. He knew how sick he was of hearing the same things over and over again. But he didn't have to be tired of it much longer. It was almost complete…

"Yeah, I bet you do," Fai muttered, going to open his car door.

"Fai…" His voice stopped him. The blonde waited a moment, before getting out of the car.

The raven sighed and set about changing the cars gears.

"…Is it really okay to just _leave_ him?" Syaoran questioned, his voice breaking the silence.

Before Kurogane could respond, the passenger side door flew open, and the blonde was back in his seat. He didn't waste any time at all, in wrapping his arms around his boyfriends neck, and kissing him as deeply as he could.

Kurogane was taken by surprise, but he didn't hesitate long before he kissed the blonde back. He loved him so much…Sometimes he forgot how much he missed him when he was away…

"Kergs…" His nickname came out on Fai's breath, and the raven kissed him again.

Both males seemed to have forgotten that they weren't _alone_ in the car. Sakura stared – barely blinking. She'd _never_ seen Fai kiss anyone before…And Syaoran – feeling embarrassed for watching – ducked his head – blushing. Shogo and Primera were too far gone in their own little world of one another's embrace to mind in the slightest.

And Tomoyo…Well, she'd taken her digital camera out of her bag, and was currently recording the make-out session.

When Fai and Kurogane finally broke apart for air, the raven murmured that it was just one more night, and then he wouldn't be disappearing anymore. The blonde sighed, but he didn't seem as angry as he had before.

He turned his attention to the back of the car, and swallowed,

"Kergs?"

"Yeah?" He followed his gaze when the blonde didn't answer,

"Oh fuck…"

"Please do!" Tomoyo cheered from behind her camera.

"WHERE DID YOUR CAMERA COME FROM?"

"That make-out session is soon to be the most popular video on Youtube!" Tomoyo giggled joyously.

"YOU GODDAMN FANGIRL! PUT YOUR CAMERA AWAY!"

**TT**

**(A.N: Ahh Tomoyo, you little yaoi fangirl. How I love thee. R&R?)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**(A.N:** I don't know why I keep updating this for you guys. Jeeze. My other fanfics are so neglected. **OOC WARNING****. TT** means scene changes, or time passing. _'Italics are a flashback sequence.' _**R&R? Appreciate it!)**

**TT**

"Where are we going?" It was his third time asking the raven this question. Fai knew that repeating the same question again and again, wouldn't get him an answer. But he was willing to _try._

"You'll see." It was the same answer. They'd only been in the car for ten minutes, but the blonde was anxious. He'd woken up to a nearly empty apartment.

He felt it coming on. Kurogane was going to take him to a new apartment, tell the blonde he got him set up in a new one – a nicer one...

_...And then he'd disappear from Fai's life._

He'd be stuck in a new apartment – alone, and the raven would be off on his own again. Probably with a girl. That was where he'd been lately, wasn't it? With a woman?

He sighed now, hating the silence. Hating that he knew the truth without the raven saying a word. Hated_ himself_ for not being _good enough_ to keep the male in his life.

Kurogane was probably bringing him over to the girls house, just so that he could introduce him to her first, and explain what had happened. Explain that they had fallen in love, and _blah, blah, blah._

He refused the urge to cry, as he watched the scene change before them. He watched the house appear before him, and briefly wondered why the raven had chosen this girl over him.

Was she pretty? Was she different than he was?

_...Was it because she was __**female?**_

His blood turned to ice at the thought. He'd somehow managed to overlook this scenario. Kurogane moving on – with a female.

"Fai? I said; lets go." Kurogane watched his blue eyed boyfriend come back to Earth. The blonde was clearly confused as he turned his head to face the raven.

"Kergs?"

The male in question sighed, and got out of the car. He walked around to the other side as Fai undid his seatbelt.

When the door opened, the raven helped his boyfriend out of the car, and lead him to the house. Fai trailed behind him, feeling both angry and sad at the same time_. This was the end._

The exterior of the house was nice enough – this girl had good taste. White house, black door, black shutters...A swing on the porch...

Kurogane didn't hesitate in unlocking the door himself. So, they were past the knocking stage? The blonde turned around quietly, and started to walk away. He didn't want this. He didn't know this girl...He didn't _want_ to know this girl. He'd never planned on losing his boyfriend this way...But apparently, he was going to.

But dammit, he wasn't going to _watch it happen._

The raven had turned around to find him walking away, so he set off after him.

"Fai!" He was behind him in no time,

"Fai, wait."

"Look, Kergs, if you want to start some new life with some girl, then that's fine by me. Just don't make me watch you do it, okay?"

"Wow..." He hadn't realized that surprises were this big of an issue,

"You have it wrong, alright? It's not like that. Just, come inside."

The blonde looked irritated, but he followed his boyfriend back to the house. The raven signalled for him to go ahead into the house once they were on the porch. Fai hesitated, but he followed the instructions, and stepped beyond the threshold.

He took off his shoes before he wandered into the main room – the living room. Behind him, Kurogane removed his shoes as well, but he stayed in the doorway.

Fai was bewildered. Green walls – a little more vibrant than the faded ones of the ravens old apartment. A black L-shaped sofa, a large television, a glass coffee table...All of it was new. There were decorations – little things that made a home, a home. One of the things that he caught onto rather quickly, were the pictures. On the wall, he found pictures from New Years, his birthday, and various occasions. And when he looked to the side table, he found a picture of the two of them.

He turned around, understanding sweeping over him. Kurogane was standing in the doorway, staring at nothing.

"...Kergs?" He took a few steps towards him.

"...It was meant to be a surprise," the raven explained quietly, still not looking at him.

"Kergs..."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." The answer was mumbled, and the male looked away as he said it.

"Kergs...I—"

"—Just go check out the house."

Fai wanted to apologize, but it appeared that the male didn't want to speak. He swallowed his fears, and resisted his urges to cry. He wouldn't cry. He would be okay. _They_ would be okay...

He wandered from one room to another. The kitchen, the bathroom...But he wouldn't go upstairs. Not without his boyfriend.

He found his way back to the raven, and outstretched a hand, to brush it against the ravens cheek...Only to have him turn away.

"Kergs..." He felt hopeless. The raven had spent so much time away from him – perfecting their new home. And he'd _accused_ him...

Why couldn't he just, _trust him?_

The raven took his hand then, and lead him up the stairs. He stopped in front of one of the doors, and gestured for him to go and check things out. Fai investigated the guest rooms, but he ended up back in front of his boyfriend.

Kurogane didn't speak. He simply opened the door to the room he was standing in front of.

Fai stepped into the room, bewildered. The walls...Were purple. It was common knowledge that the blonde loved purple. He loved it because it was the colour you got when you mixed the colour of his eyes, with the colour of his boyfriends eyes. _Purple._

There was a queen size bed sitting in the room as well, with black sheets. The walls and side tables had pictures of the two of them from various occasions...And there was a door. The blonde turned questioning eyes to the raven – who didn't answer, but instead, opened the door for him.

_Fai was bewildered._

The room contained a large black couch, and the walls were blue. His instruments were already in the room. His guitar, and his violin...There were amps, and speakers of all sorts...Microphones, and microphone stands...

"Kergs...What_ is_ this?"

"...Your new studio."

Fai turned around – his eyes wide.

"It's connected to our room – it's easy for you to access...It's soundproofed...All of the rooms are soundproofed. This _whole damned house_ is soundproofed. We can blast our music as loud as we want, and the neighbours won't hear a damned thing. I did this, because I know you. You sing...You_ love_ to sing. So, I thought I'd make it easier for you to do so..."

"...Kergs..." He didn't know what to say.

"This is where your sister, and all of our friends have been. They helped me put this place together...I chose the colours for the walls, and picked out the furniture, drew out the arrangement...Tomoyo picked out the frames and did the picture set up for me, but the rest was my original design. They helped me to put everything into place."

The blonde felt his heart swimming. There was a sea of emotion raging through him, and he wrapped his arms around his boyfriends neck. He loved him. Sometimes he forgot just _how much_ he loved him.

**TT**

Fai had been too drained – from the shock, and the change in his emotions – to wander around the house for too long. When the sun was just touching down on the horizon, he changed, and climbed under the covers. He couldn't manage to get himself to fall asleep, but he_ was_ reminded of his childhood.

Once upon a time, he'd had purple walls in his room. He'd loved the colour as a child, and he'd never really been sure as to _why._ But the point was...He'd loved it. And now, he loved it again.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to return to his childhood years.

"_I don't know Chiharu...I just think that at the age of twelve...He shouldn't have his walls..."_

"_It's just a colour, Taijo. There's nothing wrong with purple." She didn't look bothered in the slightest. Neither of them seemed to be aware of the fact that he was standing just beyond the door._

"_I don't know...It just, seems __**odd.**__ Kids treat him differently already. Kids think he's __**weird**__..."_

"_Our son doesn't care about what other people think of him." She was so calm, and collected. _

_It was as though she was never going to fade away._

"_Chiharu. __**He**__ may not care, but __**I**__ do. Ever since he told us that he likes boys...He's too young to know what he wants!"_

"_That has nothing to do with his room."_

"_Alright, the colour I can handle. It would be a waste to paint over it now anyway. But the stars? Really, does he need those damned stars all over his room?"_

"_He likes the stars." She had given up on reading, and was instead occupying her hands with sewing. Some of her childrens clothes needed a little bit of patching up._

"_He's twelve years old! He doesn't need stars all over his room. Chi wasn't like that at his age." The male was so frustrated._

_He could see them through the crack of the door. It was open just a sliver._

"_Our children will not be the same as one another." She kept her eyes trained on what she was working on._

"_Still. The stars really need to go. He's twelve years old. He needs to grow up a little bit."_

"_He's just a kid..." _

_The argument had gone along for a while. His twin had joined him in the doorway, eavesdropping. Two little blondes both listening to a conversation that they didn't want to hear. They listened until Chi – eighteen at the time – came home, and directed them away from the door._

_He'd gone to bed that night, and woken up to a dark room. A room that kept on getting darker. And all he could hear was the shuffling of feet, and the consistent ripping of the stars coming off of his wall._

_He didn't bother with sitting up. He just stayed in his darkness, until his Father finally left his room. And – when the sun rose – he could see the damage. His room was starless._

"Fai?"

He blinked his eyes back open, and turned his gaze to the voice. But as he turned, he realized something. The sun had set already, but that wasn't what had caught his attention. He sat up – his eyes wide.

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, and then opened them once again. But it was still there.

"Fai?"

The voice sounded a little concerned as the blonde seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

"Kuro-rin?" He sounded as though he needed verification.

"It's me...What's wrong?"

Fai didn't answer him. He would have been a little more concerned, if he hadn't remembered the conversation that he'd had with Chi. She'd told him about Fai's old room, and how he'd been miserable after his stars had been taken away, and how he'd been even worse after his room had been painted white.

"...Your sister told me about it. I decided to see what I could find, and...I wasn't sure how you'd feel..."

"..." He couldn't find his voice. He simply turned to the raven, and watched the male climb into bed next to him. His boyfriend wrapped an arm around him, and he felt his walls cascading down all around him.

Forget not being close to him. Forget the distance.

Forget his goddamn Father.

He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck, and buried his face there as well. The raven didn't ask questions. He simply wrapped his arms around the blonde, and cradled him against his body.

_They fell asleep in a room covered in stars._

**TT**

**(A.N: Some fluff, and angst and blah, blah, blah! Another chapter is underway already. I spoil you people. R&R?)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**(A.N:** You people are spoiled wrotten. I have a question for my readers! Where are you guys from? Canada? America? I'm interested to know. Now, I'm not asking for exact cities, or anything…But if you're Canadian, which province? And if you're American, which state? PM me, if you're uncomfortable with leaving it in the reviews. **I'm going to a con this Saturday…WOO!**** TT** **means time passing, or scene changes.**** R&R?** **I love you guys for it).**

**TT**

"You're going, right?"

Fuuma's questioned had erupted out of no where. They were sitting in a fast food restaurant, along with Kamui, and Sakura. Kurogane and Syaoran had stayed behind to collect the trays – Fuuma had offered to go with them, but Kurogane had determined that he'd be more of a_ pain_ than he would be an _assitance._

_The male hadn't argued._

"_Going?_ Going where?" The blonde felt as though he was missing something _big._

"To the summer house. Kurogane said he was taking the whole gang…Hasn't he mentioned any of this to you yet?"

"…Summer house?" Fai turned his questioning eyes to Sakura – his usual source of information.

"It's this big cottage…Built right in near the mountains. There's some cliffs nearby…And our boyfriends get a little _reckless_." She rolled her eyes.

"I haven't heard about this until just now…"

"Heard about what?" Kurogane's voice brought the blonde out of his thoughts, as the raven set a couple of trays down on the table.

"I was asking if Fai was coming to the summer cottage," Fuuma answered for the male, as he helped them to sort out whose meal was whose.

"Why wouldn't he be coming? I said the _whole gang_ didn't I? He's a part of that." The raven picked up his drink.

"…I haven't heard about this until just now, though…"

"I thought I mentioned it already," Kurogane looked thoughtful for a moment,

"I'm so used to you reading my mind."

"He reads minds?" Fuuma's voice cut in, and there was a teasing edge to his words. Fai didn't answer as he picked up his cup and took a drink through the straw.

"He might as well. Knows what I'm thinking half the time," the ravens voice sounded once again.

"I didn't know anything about this though…When were we supposed to go?"

**TT**

It was Sunday. Fai had had only a couple of days to pack up his bags, before they were to head off. He'd made sure to pack his essentials, and they'd gone out to collect Sakura, Syaoran, and Tomoyo. The others were driving themselves in.

Fai was sitting up front, with his boyfriend. The three they'd rounded up to bring with them, were in the back, with Sakura situated in the middle.

The scenery was spectacular. It got more beautiful as they went along, and the blonde grew more and more anxious as the time passed, and as the scenery flew by.

However, as the large cottage appeared in the distance, he felt his stomach knot. There was a sign before them, telling them that they weren't allowed to trespass.

_But Kurogane continued to drive._

"…Are we _allowed_ out here? I mean…The sign…"

Tomoyo giggled from the backseat,

"You don't tell him _anything,_ do you?" Her question was clearly aimed at her cousin. Fai was intrigued by what exactly it was that he was missing, so he turned himself around in his seat.

"Tell me what?"

Tomoyo grinned as she set her attention on the male,

"We're_ technically_ not trespassing – which is why Kurogane ignored the sign back there."

"…I don't follow…" He was genuinely confused. _Technically?_ What did she mean?

"…Kurogane owns the land."

For a few seconds, Fai couldn't even _breathe._ He didn't blink, he didn't move. He just sat there, awestruck.

Tomoyo continued, hesitantly,

"He owns this whole bit of land…The cottage…The lake…He owns all of that. It's his property – left to him in his parents will…"

As she spoke, Fai found his body once more, and began breathing again. He turned himself back around, to look out the windshield. This place was too _beautiful_ for words.

The cottage itself was huge – but that wasn't new. It was built right alongside the lake. The beach sand shone in the afternoon sun, and the water sparkled in a way that was blinding if you tried to focus on it too closely. It was the clearest water he'd ever seen.

"…You _own_ this…?" It was _bewildering._

"…Yeah." The raven pulled up into a place that he deemed worthy of parking in, and turned off the ignition.

"Hey Kurogane, are we going to go swimming?" Syaoran questioned, unbuckling his seatbelt. The male in question got out of the car and went to the side door, to haul peoples things out of the car,

"Of course we're going to go swimming. You think we're just here because of the _view?_" He was clearly teasing the brunette about the second part.

"_It's one hell_ _of a view_," Sakura spoke up, still looking out the window. She hadn't been able to come here yet – though Syaoran had showed her pictures, and told her about what they did to pass the time.

Apparently Fai had been left in the dark completely though. As they gathered their things, she watched his face. He looked so much like a little kid at Christmas. He was excited, and expecting the unexpected.

Oh, he had _no_ idea.

**TT**

They were all here. _Literally._

Fai couldn't believe that his boyfriend had enough space for all of these people to sleep. Or enough food in those cupboards to fill the stomachs of all of their friends – but he did. _Somehow._

Syaoran, Sakura, Chi, Hideki, Tomoyo, Fuuma, Kamui, Seishiro, Subaru, Shogo, Primera, Watanuki, Doumeki, Kurogane, and Fai himself. _The whole gang._

Everyone had changed into their swimming suits already – some more quickly than others. But they were all meeting outside anyway.

"Be careful, alright?" Sakura looked slightly anxious, but Syaoran reassured her that they would all be fine. Watanuki had already told Doumeki that he was free to do as he pleased when it came to the outdoor activities. Fuuma and Kurogane were already heading for the base of the cliff. By the time they reached it, Fai came back outside – wearing his swimming boxers, and a t-shirt. He wasn't completely used to being shirtless in front of so many people.

"Fai? What's with the shirt?" Sakura questioned from under an umbrella. There were a few of the umbrella stands propped open already. The blonde smiled, looking sheepish. She didn't question him any further.

Fai noticed rather quickly that his boyfriend was missing.

"Look up," Sakura told him easily, stepping past him, and going towards the water. The blonde was momentarily confused, but he followed her instructions. He found, near the top of a cliff – Kurogane, Syaoran, Fuuma, Shogo, and Doumeki. He was about to dash up there after them, when Tomoyo stopped him.

"Just wait for them to come back down. Then you can go up with them."

Her words were cofusing to him, and they didn't seem to make any sense – but he stayed with her. She lead him to the waters edge, and sat down in the sand. Her feet rested where the water could reach them, and she pulled out her camera. She seemed to make a duty out of keeping it handy. Fai sat with her _– anxious._

Kurogane seemed to be joking around with the guys – they'd finally reached the top. The raven looked to the cliffs edge, then back to his friends – a few times, Fai noticed. It made him nervous.

Then, he watched with horror as the male approached the edge…

…_And jumped._

He knew that in your moment of panic, you wanted to do many things. Rush to help in some way…But he also knew that, in your moment of panic – you couldn't. Your whole body would freeze over completely.

That's exactly what happened to him. _He froze._

Kurogane hit the water, and resurfaced a few seconds later. He rose out of the water, and shook his head from side to side. Fai exhaled – relieved.

"I told you didn't I?" Sakura's voice called his attention to his right,

"They get reckless."

"They do that for _fun?_" He looked back out to the water, just as Fuuma and Shogo worked as a team, to throw Syaoran into the water.

His attention was drawn to his boyfriend – who was swimming towards the shore. He looked like a God, of some sort. A dark, beautiful God. He propelled himself through the water with an ease that made the blonde blush. He blushed because he realized just how physically powerful Kurogane was – all over again.

The male in question reached shallow water, and walked out onto the shore,

"Recording already, Tomoyo?"

"Of course. I need some crazy cliff diving for this summer, caught on camera."

He chuckled, and turned his attention to his boyfriend,

"Fai? You alright?"

"…" He didn't know how to answer that. _Was_ he alright? He'd just watched his boyfriend jump off a cliff – without any warning.

"I always forget what a thrill that is, until I'm back up there and jumping off the top again!" Fuuma's voice sounded as the male stepped onto the sand,

"Kamui, you should come jump with us. Please?"

The dark haired male seemed to ponder it a moment, before he agreed,

"I might as well. I know you won't leave me alone until I do it anyway."

"That's some tough love there, Fuuma," Sakura teased, as she approached Syaoran. Fuuma laughed it off, and agreed.

"Fai, relax…I'm pretty sure Tomoyo wouldn't have let me go up there, if she knew that I would get hurt…Especially not with you here. She knows how concerned you get." Kurogane finally caught onto the fact that the male was wearing a t-shirt,

"What's with this?" He took hold of the shoulder of the shirt with his forefinger and thumb for a moment, before he released him once more.

"Is he okay? Sakura's voice sounded from somewhere behind Kurogane. Chi stepped forward, and lead her brother away from the others.

"Earth to Fai. Please, come back to this planet. _Now,_ would be a good time."

He blinked, as it dawned on him that his sister was watching him.

"You went really far away this time. Are you alright?"

"…He jumped off a cliff." His sister smiled, and reassured him that they did this a lot – as Tomoyo had filled her in already.

"Chi, he didn't mention_ any_ of this. Not the cottage, not this place…And he_ definitely_ didn't tell me that they jump off of cliffs for_ thrills_."

"It's very reckless. But, they wouldn't do it if they didn't know what the outcome would be. And he wouldn't do it if he knew it could go wrongly…Not with you here."

"…He_ jumped_ off a _cliff_…"

"Hey, what's going on?" The raven had worked his way over to the two of them. Fai still looked dazed.

"…_You jumped off a cliff…"_

"…Too many surprises for you in the past two days?"

The blonde nodded and held out his arms for the raven. Kurogane gladly scooped him up into his arms, before he plopped down in the sand – his boyfriend in his lap.

Chi sensed that she was no longer needed, and turned around to head back to the group.

Fai clung to his boyfriend. He hadn't been expecting any of the surprises that he'd been getting lately. The new house, the summer cottage…The fact that Kurogane had _way _too much money on his hands. _It was ridiculous._ He was so used to getting nice things once in a while, and considering them a _luxury_…The raven _lived_ in luxury.

He was just thankful that the male didn't let it go to his head.

"Look, Fai…I know it's been surprise after surprise lately…I'm sorry. I must be making you crazy."

"…I just didn't think you'd…I mean…Some _warning,_ would have been nice…"

The raven kissed the side of his head in apology, and the blonde settled down a little bit.

"Now…What's with the shirt?" Kurogane arched a brow, to show that he was both confused and interested. Fai smiled,

"Does it _bother you_ that I'm not prancing around half naked?"

"A little bit." The raven was blushing slightly – because of the way Fai had worded his question.

"Well…I'm still a bit self-conscious…" He avoided the red eyed gaze. He knew that Kurogane would understand what he was referring to – but the raven wasn't speaking. Confused, Fai turned his attention back to his boyfriend.

Kurogane's gaze was focused on one of Fai's legs. It didn't take the blonde long to figure out what he was staring at – so he got to his feet.

"The group's waiting for us to come back…We should…Yeah…" He trailed off of his sentence, and hurried back to his friends. His boyfriend was dumbfounded, but he rose and trailed after him – lost in thought.

"Hey, Fai's back!" Fuuma cheered, grinning. The blonde in question smiled, and apologized for being so out of it. His sister was giving him a questioning stare – which he chose to ignore.

"You planning on staying in your t-shirt all day? I thought you'd go swimming with us," Fuuma feigned a look of hurt, and Fai found himself laughing.

"Alright, alright. The shirt will come off, on one condition – a condition from everyone…" He trailed off as everyone watched him – waiting,

"…I'm self-conscious…So please…_Don't stare_…" Kurogane had wandered back out to the group by then, in time to hear the others reassuring the blonde that no one would stare. Fai nodded, and tugged the shirt off over his head.

"Hey, free show!" Fuuma teased. Fai blushed, and tossed the shirt onto the sand – not caring about where it went.

He felt so exposed. The cut marks on his arms were visible, as were the few that he had on his stomach – though those _weren't_ self-inflicted. His tattoo was also clearly visible – though no one was standing behind him at the moment. The only thing that was still basically hidden, was what Kurogane had been staring at.

Everyone bustled with conversation – mainly about cliff jumping. Fai wandered over to his boyfriend – who still looked like he wanted to ask about what he'd seen. The blonde avoided the males questions, and took hold of his hand. He'd turned his back on the others, and he didn't fail to notice that it got increasingly quiet.

It was necessary though, to give them the opportunity to see the tattoo. This way, they wouldn't stare later. Chi, Hideki and Tomoyo had seen it already, so they weren't surprised by it. However…The others…

Subaru, Seishiro, and Kamui only looked long enough to see the design, before they looked away again. Shogo, Primera, Watanuki, and Doumeki stared for a little while longer – two of the four knew what the scar represented, and soon they too, looked away. Syaoran and Fuuma looked away as well. They didn't really know much about the tattoo – besides the obvious fact that it was huge.

_Sakura was the only one still staring._

She knew what the tattoo represented. She knew what it covered. She'd never seen the scars left over on his back beforehand, and now – seeing the dark contrast of the tattoo ink against Fai's skin – she was overwhelmed by how much damage had truly been left behind.

"Sakura-chan. I can feel your eyes on me you know." He didn't bother with turning around. He knew it was her.

The others focused their attention on her, murmuring their confusion.

"And yes…It's exactly what you think it is," Fai continued, still not turning to face her. Sakura didn't move at first, but she couldn't stand there for long. Kurogane – sensing this – turned his boyfriend around to face the caramel haired girl.

She didn't take long in hurtling her body against that of her best friend. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his skin, as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. It took Fai a moment before he was able to wrap his arms around his best friend.

Only Fai's family, as well as Tomoyo, Doumeki, Watanuki, and Kurogane, seemed to know what was going on. No one else knew about the blondes history. No one else knew why Sakura was crying over a tattoo.

_No one else knew what the tattoo was hiding._

**TT**

"Syaoran-kun was allowed to go, so why can't I?" He was persistent in this. He refused to give it up. He was going to damn well give this a try.

"The kid knows what he's doing – he's had practice." It was the same useless argument, again and again.

"Then let me practice. Let me work my way up." Why was this so difficult to understand?

"No. It's _reckless_." He wouldn't put him in harms way.

"That's hypocritical." It was a statement, and an accusation. Fai was _not_ going to surrender to his boyfriend. He would not give in to his demands that he did not attempt to do the jump.

"Relax Fai…I'll stay down here with you, while they go do the jump," Fuuma offered, attempting to break up the fight before it got out of hand. Fai didn't get a chance to say anything further. Kurogane nodded, and took off with the people who were _'allowed,'_ to go and do the jump.

Fai slumped down in the sand, easily becoming moody. His boyfriend hesitated a little ways away, but the blonde ignored him. Fuuma was beside him in no time.

"Are you sure you want to sit that close to me? You just took Kurogane's side over mine." He usually only called him that when he was pissing him off…_Like now._

Fuuma laughed, seeming rather fearless,

"Well, don't look too happy or anything…But I'm just waiting for them to get about halfway up that cliff. Because once you reach that point – you can't see a damn thing, besides what's right in front of you."

The blonde kept his head bowed, but he smiled a bit,

"Thanks Fuuma."

**TT**

They'd reached the top of the cliff already. Kurogane was disappointed to see that he couldn't see Fuuma or Fai anywhere. They must have gone back inside while he wasn't looking – which simply irritated him further. He hated the idea of the two of them alone together – it put terrible images in his head.

Kamui however, never looked concerned about his boyfriends whereabouts. His face remained neutral.

Kurogane made sure that he was the last one to jump into the water, and when he was on his way back, he realized that people were staring at the top of the cliff.

"…Son of a…"

**TT**

"Alright, this is way too high up for a starting point…But, he's pissed you off, so I can see why you want to rebel. Now…Am I jumping with you, or before you?"

"Before. If I'm going to spite him, then I'm going to do it properly." He looked over the edge at the clear blue water. It looked so pure, and welcoming. Yet from up here, it also looked somewhat _horrifying._

"…Alright. Don't try anything _too_ fancy. It's bad enough that you chose the highest area as your starting point…But, I believe in you. I think you'll do just fine." The male grinned as he said it, then nodded, and took his jump. His body fell forward, and he tumbled effortlessly and in a vertical position – landing himself feet first in the water. When he surfaced, he swam backwards a bit – making room.

At the top of the cliff, Fai stared down into the water. He couldn't force himself to jump – at least, not now. Now that he was alone, and left alone in a high place that he was unfamiliar with.

He had separatation anxiety from Kurogane…It didn't take long for it to kick in. He stepped away from the edge, and turned around – intending to walk back down the cliff. But he paused.

He would reach him quicker by jumping…And he'd still get to spite him. And he was sure that he could do it too…If he did it at a _run…_

He turned himself back around, inhaled deeply, exhaled loudly, clenched and unclenched his fists…And then, he ran. Ran for the edge. Ran right to it, before taking the leap.

He got that feeling in his stomach, that he sometimes got when he went down a big hill on a roller coaster. Where you felt that tingling sensation, as if you'd left you'd left your stomach behind you. The feeling lasted until he hit the water. And – when he hit it – it was almost like hitting concrete. He hadn't predicted the landing, and now he wished he'd listened to Fuuma. But there was no turning back the clock.

He allowed himself to sink a little bit – still conscious. He supposed that if his childhood didn't look the way it did, then upon hitting the water – he would have been knocked into unconsciousness. However, he was awake. Slightly stunned, but definitely conscious. He forced his body to move – as he was in a deep need of air. As he surfaced, he blinked, and coughed slightly. Fuuma was in front of him, and Kurogane was swimming in their direction.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine. My body was just a little stunned upon impact. I'll assure you, I was completely conscious the entire time, and my stomach has returned to its proper place."

Fuuma – who was treading water – laughed. It was that contagious laughter that would get an entire room giggling. Fai loved it immediately.

"I love how you just threw all of that together. Especially the last bit." The male didn't get to laugh for long, before the raven reached them.

"Are you alright?" He was staring at Fai – who grinned and laughed, and reassured him that he was just fine.

"Don't you _ever _do that to me again."

"Do what? _Scare you?_ You started it, don't forget." He hated being treated like a child. He was eighteen years old dammit. He'd had a birthday come to pass already, and now he was legally an adult.

He would_ not_ be treated like a _child._

"That's different. I knew what I was doing!"

"…" Fai didn't feel like arguing. _Why bother?_ He took a deep gulp of air, and headed underwater. He opened his eyes when he was under, and propelled himself through the water – towards the shore. He could hear muffled voices – his name he was sure, was among the many things being said.

"Shit, he's fast." Kurogane was dumbfounded. His boyfriend moved with ease beneath the surface – barely coming up for air. He supposed all of those years of abuse must have helped him to learn a few things. Swimming, for instance, was very recreational. It let you get away from everyone, and everything. And – if you were fast enough – _then nothing could touch you._

**TT**

"Fai! What were you thinking?" Sakura hollered – clearly upset.

"Relax, Sakura-chan. If that had been a _suicide attempt_…There wouldn't have been_ water_ beneath me." He plopped down on his towel.

"That isn't funny." His expression told her enough. He hadn't been joking around about it. He hadn't been performing a suicide attempt…If he had been, he wouldn't be here anymore.

"Your skin is all red, Fai-san," Watanuki murmured, surprised, and worried.

"I just_ jumped_ off a _cliff._ My body isn't used to slamming into water at that speed, or from that height."

The blonde closed his eyes, and sighed. He felt amazing. A little pained from the impact…But amazing, nonetheless. The breeze that passed made his hair dance across his forehead, and occassionally against his cheeks.

It didn't take long for something warm to rest against his chest. Even without opening his eyes – he knew that it was Kurogane. This body was one that he had memorized. The raven had his head on Fai's chest, and his arms wrapped around him. His thumb was running back and forth along one of the blondes arms, gently.

He murmured an apology, and stated that he'd been a jerk. Fai smiled, opening his eyes,

"You're my favourite jerk though."

"Does that mean that you still love me?"

"Hyuu~ Why would we break-up over an argument, Kuro-rin?" He reached up to stroke his fingers through the ebony locks that he loved so much. They were bound to fight. Things were going to get out of hand now and then. That was life.

_That was love._

**TT**

**(A.N: ****Don't worry, this isn't the end.** I have more to it, I promise – though I don't know when that will be posted. But there is more! And there is more cliff jumping ahead…And a campfire…And maybe even some smex. –cough-cough-cough- **So, R&R? Appreciate it!)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**(A.N:** I haven't updated in exactly two weeks. **PLEASE READ THE NOTE I'M ADDING TO THE END OF THE CHAPTER!** _'This means thoughts.'_ **TT** means time passing or scene changes. **R&R?** You know the drill).

**TT**

They were roasting marshmellows over the fire they had created.

"Alright...I'll ask. I'm going to ask, because everyone else wants to know..." Fuuma's voice interrupted the silence that had overtaken the group. He turned his attention to Fai,

"The tattoo. What made you want to get it?"

The blonde hadn't been expecting the question. He was surprised that everyone was so curious about it...But he didn't know if he should get into details with them...

"Are you sure you want to get into that story? My history is pretty dark..."

"No one here has a good history," Seishiro spoke up now,

"Except Subaru."

Said male looked bothered at becoming the spotlight.

"And Hideki," Chi spoke up, though it was rather softly.

"Oh?" Fai was curious now. He hadn't known that the others had disturbing stories to tell...He thought he was all alone.

"Mine isn't as bad as some of the stories you'll hear," Sakura murmured,

"My Dad died, when I was younger, and I've never known my Mom...She died giving birth to me...So, I've been living with my older brother and his boyfriend."

"My story is similar. I don't know what happened to my Mom...But my Dad died when I was still pretty young," Syaoran spoke up from his position next to Sakura.

Shogo took a turn now,

"I've got both of my parents...But they're controlling as hell. I can never do anything to please them."

Primera squeezed his hand,

"My Dad died a few years ago...And ever since then my Mom's blamed me for his death...And on the days that she's not blaming me – she's forgetting who I am."

"I'm sorry..." Fai murmured, feeling bad now, that he'd asked at all.

Watanuki looked to Doumeki, who nodded. The smaller of the two spoke,

"Doumeki's Mom moved away a long time ago...And his Dad neglects him because of who he is..."

'_Well, we have more in common than I first thought,'_ The blonde mused in silence.

"And my parents died in a car crash when I was younger," Watanuki's voice sounded again,

"I live with Yuuko – hence I know so much about everyone already."

"My parents died in a car accident too," Tomoyo spoke up, softly.

"Same," Kamui agreed from his place next to Fuuma.

Silence overtook the campfire. Fai didn't know if he would hear any more stories, but he wasn't going to force them out of anyone. He stayed curled up against his boyfriend, reflecting on what he'd already learned.

The silence stayed that way for a few minutes, before the thought hit the blonde,

"Wait..."

Fuuma seemed to be predicting what was coming, but he wasn't speaking.

"...Subaru's life isn't affected at all...But Kamui just said that his parents died in a car accident..."

Fuuma gave off a knowing smile, as Kamui lifted his head from the book he'd been reading,

"Alright, who told him I was a _twin?_" No one answered. The dark haired male sighed, bookmarked his page, and set his book aside,

"I'm not related to Subaru – _at all._ My parents died when I was very young. They were out on a rainy night...Lost control of the car...And the next thing I knew, I was standing at a double funeral." His attention was on Fai – completely,

"I've known Subaru my whole life, so I've always seen him as a brother. Plenty of people have made the assumption of us being twins in the past, so it became an introduction for us – a trick we played on people. We're a year apart. _I'm older._ After my parents died, Subaru's family took me in."

Fuuma's arm wrapped around Kamui's waist, and the shorter male turned his gaze on him,

"Why are you trying to comfort _me?_ Your story is _worse_."

"I still have my Dad..."

"He's a terrible person though. I'd rather have dead parents than a Dad like yours." It sounded bitter to the others, but Fuuma just laughed and said that he understood what the male meant. But Kamui knew that beneath that smile, there was a part of his boyfriend that ached daily, for the pain his Father caused. He took Fuuma's hand into that of his own and murmured an apology.

"Our Mother died a few years ago...And our Dad...Well, he neglects us – because of who we are." Fuuma had decided that he might as well explain what Kamui was talking about.

"Our Father did this to me," Seishiro aimed a finger at one of his eyes. It was cloudy, while his other eye was clear. Still pointing to the clouded eye, he added,

"I'm blind in this one."

A few people were surprised, because they hadn't realized that the male was half blind. It gave Fai a knew respect for him. Half-blind, but still being himself...Still staying with Subaru – because he loved him.

_Nothing his Father did, or tried to do, would change that._

"My brother and I are six years apart," Chi spoke up now,

"Our Mom died of cancer four years ago...And our brother died too – of a disease...One Doctors don't have a name for just yet...Our Dad is still alive...But we don't see him much...And, I'm afraid that even though Fai and I have lost the same people...His past is still_ much_ darker than mine."

He hated being the center of attention,

"Like I said...I don't know if you want to get into that story..."

"We shared our stories with you. Come on, play fair!" Fuuma teased.

The blue orbs clouded over, and everyone noticed. Kurogane tried to bring the blonde back to reality, but the male just shook his head; _no._

"I was twelve when I told my Father that I was gay. I know that's a young age to be coming out, but I just...I just _knew._ My brother was gay too, but he never told anyone – except for Chi and I. He was my identical twin...I remember reading somewhere that when you have twins...And one is gay...There's a 70 percent chance that the other one will be gay as well..." He swallowed hard,

"It was our curse that we should both be everything my Father hates."

"Fai..." His sister spoke up gently.

"...The cursed twins..." He whispered. He took a moment, before he was able to speak again,

"I've suffered child abuse from my Father for as long as I can remember. First he didn't want me because twins were considered a curse – his family had stories about twins bringing about misfortune...And so when I told him I was _gay_...He punished me more severely...I've been sent to the hospital with my skin in different colours...Blue, purple, black...I've been told how _useless _and _unworthy_ I am – _my whole life_..."

"Fai..." His sister spoke the name again, her heart aching.

"All because I was born...And my story only gets worse from there. My Mother and twin both died when I was fourteen...And not long after their deaths, two boys I went to school with, attacked me...One drew intricate designs on my back with a flamable substance...They set me on fire, and left me for dead...I had to get prosthetic skin...And it scarred...The tattoo is covering those scars..." He sighed before he continued,

"I was so miserable because of everything I'd lost...So I started cutting...When I turned fifthteen, I also started drinking...I was hospitalized three times because I'd overdosed on alcohol...When I turned sixteen – everything stopped...Except for the abuse from my Father..." When he stopped this time, he didn't start up again. His eyes stopped looking cloudy. His focus was back.

"...Wow..." Fuuma looked guilty. He seemed to be feeling bad for having asked at all now,

"And I thought_ we_ had it bad."

Fai smiled a bit, and shrugged. He hadn't realized that everyone else had had it hard...Or that he would have so much in common with Doumeki, Seishiro, and Fuuma.

Kurogane didn't speak. He didn't want to remember his own history. He didn't want to think about his family. Losing them had been too _painful..._

He subconciously held on a little more tightly to his boyfriend.

_Fai noticed._

"Kuro-rin? What's the matter?"

Tomoyo was quick to understand,

"Kurogane. You don't have to talk about it, okay? Don't think about it. Don't focus your attention on the past. Okay?"

He didn't appear to be listening. She was worried about Fai, more than anything. She'd seen the raven get angry before. Seen him break down entire wall sections with just his fists...

And right now, the blonde was wrapped up in his arms – _completely oblivious._

"Kergs?" He took note of the males hands. His hands had curled into fists – tight fists, with the knuckles turning different colours...

"Kuro-rin..._Breathe_..." Fai removed himself from the ravens embrace easily.

"Fai...Please, stay away from him. Just until he calms down..._Please_..." Tomoyo spoke up, getting to her feet.

But her words confused him. He shook his head; _no._ He couldn't leave his boyfriend in his time of need...And there was nothing that he could do to him physically that his Father hadn't already done...

Well, minus _one_ thing. But that was another topic.

Fai sat himself back down in Kurogane's lap. This time, he sat facing him.

"Kergs? You need to calm down..."

The raven had his eyes closed. His scowl was deep, and his hands were balled up tightly into fists. His knuckles had changed colour already...

Fai slid his fingers through his boyfriends hair. Kurogane's fists were shaking violently.

"Fai..._Please_..." Tomoyo begged from somewhere in the background. She knew her cousins anger levels were skyrocketing. When his knuckles changed colour – that was a bad enough sign. But when his fists shook...

Fai didn't leave him,

"He won't...Hurt me..." The blonde took his chances. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against those of his boyfriend.

The whole gang froze. Everyone waited in silence.

Kurogane's hands shook for a moment longer, before the shaking slowed down to nothing. His fists unclenched, and he placed one hand in the blondes hair, and his other on the males back. Their lips moved together in a way that they were both familiar with...

Everyone was nervous until Fai pulled out of the kiss gently,

"Welcome back."

Kurogane's lips were soft against the blondes once more as he kissed him again.

**TT**

"Anyone up for a campfire game?" Fuuma questioned. Everyone was curled up with their significant other – minus Tomoyo, who was talking to Chi.

"A campfire game?" Fai inquired, confused. He'd never played a campfire game before. He hadn't been aware of any existing.

"Why don't the gay boys play top ; bottom?" Sakura teased, trying to contain her laughter.

"What is top ; bottom?" Fai was confused.

"It's a game where we try to guess who's the top, and the who's the bottom in the relationship," Fuuma answered, shaking his head.

"...Ohh..." The blonde felt embarrassed for having to ask.

"I don't know if we should bother...I think all of us are pretty obvious...I mean, in my brother's relationship-"

"—Say another word, and I'll kill you." Seishiro's threat rang clear.

Fuuma grinned,

"Well, I guess you know where I was heading on that one. And with Doumeki and Watanuki, I think it's also pretty obvious..."

The shorter male in question blushed and hid his face in his hands. Doumeki smiled a little, and ruffled up his boyfriends hair.

"...Idiot..." Watanuki mumbled from behind his hand shield.

"Then with you and Kurogane..."

"..." Fai looked away. He hadn't done anything sexual with his boyfriend yet. Was there some kind of _code_ that he was unaware of? If you were gay, did you have to be sexual-physical with your partner?

"Back off Fuuma. We haven't done anything like that," Kurogane's voice sounded near Fai's ear, and the blonde blushed at the males honesty.

"Really?" Fuuma looked surprised.

"Like I said: _Back off_ Fuuma. We haven't done anything like that. I've already explained to Fai that I'm not in this relationship because of a sexual attraction. He knows I won't do anything."

"Unless he _wants_ you to," Tomoyo added. Her smile said she knew that he'd been leaving that out of the sentence.

"Alright. I buy it. But, if you guys ever _do_ get into all that...It's pretty clear who's leading." Fuuma smirked.

Fai placed his face in his hands. He and Watanuki were doing the same actions.

"Welcome to my world," Watanuki announced from his position next to Doumeki.

There was laughter from around the circle of friends. Fai uncovered his face.

"And then I think it's pretty clear who's who when it comes down to Kamui and I."

"How about we _don't_ discuss our sex life in front of our friends and your brother," Kamui spoke up – he was looking down at the pages of his book, which he'd opened somewhere after his explanation to Fai.

"What? I'm just saying-"

"—How about we _don't_ say?" Kamui slid a hand into his boyfriends hair, wrapped his fingers around some of it, and tugged downward.

"Ow, ow, ow..."

"Are you done _saying_ yet?"

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Are you finished now?" He kept his hold on his boyfriends hair.

"Ow, ow, yes, ow..."

Kamui released him and returned to his book.

"Yes, I'm finished telling them that _I'm top_."

Fuuma receieved a glare, and was promptly shoved over backwards. He landed on his back with a rustling thud.

"And now you're bottom," Kamui told him simply.

"Ow..."

"I don't know what hurts more right about now; his body, or his pride," Kurogane's voice sounded.

Fuuma grabbed Kamui and hauled him back so that he was lying down next to him.

"You dick..." He muttered, glaring at his boyfriend.

"Hey now, don't talk about my dick in front of my brother and our friends," Fuuma murmured, climbing on top of the shorter male – straddling him.

"Redemption!" Fuuma cheered. He leant forwards to kiss Kamui – who deflected this action with his book.

"Looks like your _redemption,_ just turned into a, _rejection_," Shogo teased from across the fire.

"Yeah, I guess so—Whoa!" Fuuma was flipped onto his back. Kamui sat on top of him – looking rather victorious. Said male set his open book down in the grass, stole Fuuma's semi-shades and set them down on the book, and then leant into a kiss.

Tomoyo snapped a picture before anyone could realize that she had a camera. No one knew how they'd missed it either...It was an old looking camera...One where the picture came out after you shot it.

Kamui got up and took his book back to his original sitting area. Tomoyo squealed like a fangirl at the picture that came out.

"This is so..." She couldn't even finish her sentence.

"You're really kind of _scary,_ Tomoyo," Fuuma admitted, sitting down next to Kamui.

"Did she have too much sugar, or something?" Fai questioned, looking to Kurogane. The raven shook his head; _no._

"This is _normal_ for her."

"Alright, before you guys get into Tomoyo's fangirl-like-insanity...Maybe you should play another game?" Sakura tried to avert the disaster that she felt building up.

"Date swap maybe?" Primera chimed in, hoping to help.

"What is date swap?" Fai wasn't sure if he liked the idea of that.

"It's a game my girlfriends and I used to play when we were younger. You just pick the person you would want to date, if you didn't have your current boyfriend. Don't worry, you won't even have to leave Kurogane's side. You just have to say a name, and explain your reasons."

"Sounds like a dangerous game," Subaru spoke up, looking kind of shocked that Primera had ever played this game before.

"It is. But it's also a game of trust. You should already know that your boyfriend won't leave you – no matter what you say, right?" She curled herself closer to Shogo,

"In fact, I'd play it with you guys now...But, almost all of the guys that are here...Are gay. And Syaoran's too short – no offense Syaoran – and then Hideki is engaged...And Shogo is already my boyfriend...So, I can't really play. So, it'll be the gay boy version!"

Chi facepalmed, sensing disaster.

"I'll play," Seishiro murmured, sounding rather amused.

There were sounds of agreement from the rest of the group, except for...

"Count me out," Kurogane spoke up.

"Awww Kergs, why don't you want to play? It's just a game..."

"I don't want to play, because I don't have an interest in anyone – besides you."

"But it's just a game..."

"I know. I just don't want to play it."

"No one can force him to play, Fai. Come on, he's not going anywhere, you're still going to be right there with him. It's not like playing the game requires you to move away from him, so, just play," Fuuma tried to be encouraging.

The blonde nodded gently and agreed.

"Lets start down at Doumeki and Watanuki," Fuuma continued, grinning.

"I don't really have any interest in anyone...Other than Watanuki..." Doumeki spoke up, shrugging.

"Then just pick someone at random," Fuuma answered from across the fire.

"...Subaru, I guess."

"Alright, and why?"

"Because he's a good guy. He's nice, even though he's quiet a lot..."

"Sounds like someone else we all know," Watanuki replied, looking up to his boyfriend.

Doumeki ruffled his hair,

"Your turn."

"Me? Hm...It's a tie, between two people."

"A tie? Between who?" Sakura spoke up, clearly interested.

"Fuuma, and Fai."

"Oh this I've got to hear," Sakura's voice sounded once more, and she leaned forward, grinning.

Watanuki blushed,

"Uh...W-Well...Fuuma would be a choice, because he's funny...And outgoing...And that's just...I don't know..."

"Cute?" Sakura supplied the word.

"...And Fai's...Got something about him. I don't know what it is really. He's a good guy...He puts everyone before himself...He's so..._Selfless_...Even after everything that he's been through...I admire that aspect..."

Shogo did a wolf-whistle, and Watanuki buried his face in his hands. The group laughed.

"Thank you, Watanuki-kun," Fai laughed.

"Subaru, you're up," Seishiro reminded him with a nudge.

"Oh...Well...I guess if I had to choose someone other than Seishiro..._Fuuma_...Because he's a real goofball. And if I couldn't be with Seishiro...I'd want to be with someone who was his polar opposite...Because I could never be with someone who reminded me of his personality...It would feel like a betrayal..."

Seishiro tightened his arm around his boyfriend,

"You and I share that quality then. Because I would probably choose Kamui."

Kamui looked up upon hearing his name. But then his attention was back on his book.

Fuuma was up next. He looked like he was seriously thinking it through...

"Alright. My number two choice...Number two, because Kamui will always be my number one..."

"Please stop kissing my ass," Kamui muttered.

"That's not what you said last night," Fuuma teased.

Kamui went to pull the same move he'd pulled earlier, but Fuuma caught his hand,

"Okay, please, not the hair. Please...I'll stop it."

His boyfriend retracted his hand.

"Alright. So, my number two pick, would probably be...Fai."

"Me?" The blonde looked amused.

"Yeah."

"You have to give reasons," Sakura reminded him.

"Reasons. Right. Well, Fai is...Well, he's_ brilliant_ really. I mean, have you heard this guy sing? He's _amazing_...And then there's the whole selfless thing that Watanuki mentioned. Plus we have something in common. We both have jerks for Fathers...Maybe that's why we get along so well. I don't know...He just has an alluring atmosphere. And he's cute. Bonus points for being cute."

The blonde blushed at his friends words.

"Kamui, you're up," Fuuma turned his attention to his boyfriend.

"I'm actually with Fuuma on this one. I'd probably pick Fai as well."

_Well...That was unexpected._

"He's talented as a singer, and that's a unique quality. He's actually rather funny when he wants to be...He's very kind. He also just has a way about him that's...What was the word you used Fuuma?"

"Alluring?"

"Ah, yes. He just kind of...Reels people in. I don't really know why..." Kamui said all of it with his eyes trained on his book.

"The non-eye contact thing is Kamui's little way of being embarrassed," Fuuma spoke up now, he moved some of his boyfriends hair,

"And his ears go red."

"Dick."

"I thought we already discussed this? We're not to talk about my dick in front of our friends, and my brother."

"It's Fai's turn to play the game."

"Oh...Right..." The blonde looked around the campfire. He fidgeted for a moment before he answered,

"I guess I'd choose Fuuma."

Shogo wolf-whistled again. Fai blushed a deeper shade.

"Reasons. You have to give your reasons," Watanuki reminded him.

"Reasons...Right...Well...Fuuma is...Lovable, he's got this great sense of humour...It makes the mood lighter. And then he's just a nice guy on top of it all. He's got a good atmosphere...And he gets bonus points for being cute...Though, I also find Kamui to be a really interesting person...He seems like he's actually really deep."

Fai was hoping that Kurogane didn't take anything he'd said to heart.

"Are you sure you don't want to play Kergs?"

"I'm sure."

"Care to explain this whole thing to me a little bit better?" Fai turned his attention back to his boyfriend.

"...Well, I can't choose another guy...Because I'm not gay."

"...You're _dating me_..."

"Yeah, let me finish. I'm not gay. Guys don't interest me...It's _just you._ You're the only one I see. I don't even look at girls in the way that I look at you. I'm not interested in girls...Or guys...Just you."

"So you're Fai-sexual?" Tomoyo questioned.

"See? It's his allure..." Fuuma spoke up once again,

"He's got Kurogane hooked on him. Like a drug, or something."

"Kergs..." Fai whispered, not entirely comfortable with the conversation. He had just learned that other people would consider him date-worthy if they didn't already have boyfriends. And he'd just admitted to two out of three of those people that he'd probably date one of them if he didn't have Kurogane.

Of course, the only way to seperate him from the raven would be _death..._

And death reminded him that he might _end up_ dead if his Father found out about his living situation...

But hadn't he already promised himself that his Father would _not_ control his relationships anymore?

Yes, but he hadn't seen him in ages, which meant that he was due to show up _soon,_ right?

Which meant that his life was going to be over soon...

Whether or not he actually died, it wouldn't matter.

If his Father came back around, then he would be leaving his boyfriend behind...

_Oh how he hated his pathetic little life..._

"Fai? Can you come back to Earth please?" Kurogane's voice was bringing him back to the surface.

"Kuro-rin..."

"Did you just go to that little off-limits place in your head again?"

"Mm-hm." He looked away. He knew that his boyfriend didn't want him to think about the things that made him miserable.

"Fai..."

"I...I don't want to get into that conversation again, okay? I'll try to stop thinking about it."

The blonde sensed that this was not the end to the conversation. He stood up and Kurogane followed suit.

"Sometimes I forget how tall he is," Fuuma murmured as the two males walked away from the group.

**TT**

"How many times do we have to have the conversation before you get it through your head?"

Fai didn't answer.

"I know that when you get that look in your eyes, you're thinking about your Dad. And I know that it's scaring you – the idea that he might come back. I say; _let him._ He's not going to be able to stop you from living in our house. He's not going to be able to stop us from caring about each other..."

"..._Caring?_ Is_ that_ what this is?"

"You know what I mean. Loving each other. Dammit Fai, stop trying to make me look like the bad guy for not saying the right word."

"Oh, so_ I'm_ the bad guy for having a _terrible Father?_"

"No. Your _Father's_ the bad guy for _being_ a terrible Father."

"Well that makes it all better then."

"I didn't say that it did. I was just saying that you're not the bad guy, and I'm not either. I'm just so tired of feeling like this Fai...Feeling like no matter what I do, or say...You're still not going to rely on me in the way that I need you to."

"And what way would that be?"

"The; _if your Father comes near you, he's dealing with me,_ way. I dare him to come too close. He won't like what happens if he does."

"You talk big, but can you back it up?"

"Who got rid of Mikail?"

"You...But that's different. Sure, he harassed me at school...But he only hurt me severely _once._ My Father's more persistent. He's put me in the _hospital_ before Kergs..."

"So I'll put him in the hospital if he gets too close to you."

"Yes because _hospitalizing him_ fixes _everything_."

"Well what else can I tell you Fai? Why won't you just trust me?"

"Because the last time I trusted someone...They died..."

"That's not fair Fai. Your brother was sick. He wasn't healthy...And I am, and you know it."

"..."

"Fai, I've broken down walls with my bare fists – and that's not an exaggeration. I've taken out every bully Tomoyo has ever encountered. I've been in fights, and have won every single time. I rarely get hurt. Your Dad doesn't scare me."

"..."

"Would you trust Fuuma over me? Or Kamui?"

"I_ knew_ you were going to bring them into this! You can't even handle me playing a _stupid game,_ Kurogane. Now you're bringing in something that's completely irrelevent to the conversation, and trying to _guilt me_ into _trusting_ you. They're not involved in this, so leave them out of it."

"Awful defensive over them though, aren't you?"

"_Wow._ I can't believe you've _actually_ sunk down to this level. You're making accusations now, _really?_ Remind me again; Who do I spend almost_ all_ of my time with? Who do I _live_ with? Who was trying to _reassure me_ that my Father couldn't tear us apart a few minutes ago? Oh, well that's just _amazing_...The answer if _you_..._Every single time._ Isn't that just _incredible?_ Because you can promise me that my Father won't break us apart – which will be his goal if he finds me again – and yet, you're willing to fight with me over a game played with friends around a campfire. That's surprising_. It really is._ You're so solid about not letting my Father get between us...Yet your jealousy is standing between the two of us right now." The blonde headed back towards the campfire.

"Where are you going?" Kurogane followed him.

"Back to the group, to get a flashlight. And then I'm going inside."

"Why?"

"Because you're an asshole. You're fighting with me for overthinking, and then your _jealousy_ steps between us, and I'm _still_ being blamed. You know, if you want to fight with someone, why don't you look in the goddamn _mirror?_" By now, he'd reached his friends. He grabbed a flashlight from the pile,

"Excuse me everyone. My boyfriend has decided to be an _asshole,_ so I'm going to retreat to the cottage for a little while." The blonde didn't waste any time in doing exactly as he said he would.

Kurogane stepped into view. He was met with Sakura's glare, Tomoyo's _pity,_ face, and a mixed expression between sympathy and annoyance from Chi.

Everyone else was just confused.

_But Fuuma's eyes said he knew what was going on._

"Should I go after him, or does someone else want to go?" The raven was getting used to this routine. He_ hated_ it.

Chi shook her head; _no._ She signalled for him to follow her.

_He knew this wouldn't end well._

**TT**

He burst through the door, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He slammed the door behind himself, and listened to the satisfying _bang._ He kicked off his shoes, and half-stumbled through the cottage.

"I can't keep this up...I just...I'm so sick of this...I..." He tried taking deep breaths,

"I...I...I need something sharp..."

**TT**

"You guys..." Watanuki spoke up from the silence that had taken over the campfire.

"What is it?" Sakura inclined her head in his direction, only to find the male standing up,

"Watanuki?"

"...Chi is with Kurogane...And the rest of us are here..." He swallowed hard,

"...Which means that we've just left a miserable Fai in a house full of sharp ocjects and lockable doors..."

Sakura was on her feet in no time,

"Stay here, all of you...Except...Watanuki, Doumeki, Syaoran, and Fuuma. Everyone else, _stays here_." She grabbed a flashlight and ran in the direction of the cottage.

"Kamui?" Fuuma turned his attention to his boyfriend, who looked up from his book. The male read the question in his eyes, and nodded. His attention returned to his book.

The five of them were running in the direction of the cottage. Their feet pounded against the ground as the wind whipped past their faces. Self-created wind. Wind that came with running fast...As fast as your legs would carry you.

_It never seemed to be fast enough._

They half-stumbled, despite the flashlights. Weeds scratched along their ankles.

Sakura ran with the chilling image of Fai – _bleeding._ Syaoran ran along behind her, because he knew that she was _terrified._ Even as she ran, she was trembling. Doumeki wasn't far behind, with Watanuki a foot or two behind him. They both ran knowing that their friend could be in trouble. There wasn't Doumeki could do...But Watanuki was a good talker – when he set his mind to it.

Fuuma ran with the horrific thought of this being his own fault.

_They had to stop Fai._

Even though it felt as though they were running towards a cottage that seemed as though it was moving away from them...They kept moving. Panting and pushing themselves forward. Even when their lungs felt heavy, their pounding fear kept them moving. Adreneline they weren't aware of_ existing_ propelled them onward.

"FAI!" Sakura screamed, nearing the cottage. She didn't know if he'd hear her or not. Was he even _conscious?_

She bounded her way up the steps, and opened the door with fumbling fingers. When it was open, she tore off her shoes, and ran into the cottage.

"FAI?"

She listened for his voice. She could hear his muffled sobs. That was okay then...He was conscious...And he hadn't locked himself in a bedroom...If he had, they wouldn't hear him. Kurogane's cottage had soundproofed bedrooms – his parents used to have some crazy guests.

"Fai! Where are you?" She listened for the sobs again as she walked through the cottage. They were getting louder. Good...She was getting close...

She stepped to her right when a turn came ahead of her, and froze. A light...A bathroom...

"FAI!" She rushed to the door – not at all surprised to find it locked. Just terrified.

"FAI! It's me, open the door...Please Fai, open the door!"

Sobbing. He sounded so broken. He was worn out from all of the fights. He was tired of arguing...

"Fai, please..."

"Sakura-chan!" Watanuki announced, rushing over to her,

"Fai-san? It's Watanuki. You've got five people out here who are terrified...We told the others to stay behind...And Chi is still near the campfire...She's got Kurogane with her, I'm guessing she's scolding him for you...But listen...Sakura-chan, Doumeki, Syaoran, Fuuma, and I are all standing out here terrified..._Please_..."

"...I'm not coming out..."

"Then can one of us come in?" Watanuki motioned for Sakura to back up. She didn't want to, but Syaoran silently urged her to follow the males orders.

"..." Fai didn't answer at first,

"..._One_..." He agreed to the offer.

"Who do we send in?" Sakura questioned.

"..." Fai didn't answer again. He didn't speak at all.

Watanuki looked to Fuuma and nodded.

"Okay. We'll send one person in," Watanuki answered. He turned his attention to Syaoran,

"Hold her back."

The male did as he was instructed.

Fai unlocked the door – trusting Watanuki's word.

Fuuma stepped forward and the door was opened. He stepped into the bathroom, and locked the door behind himself.

"Hey..."

"..." Fai didn't answer. He just pointed to the sink. There was a rather large knife sitting there. Fuuma picked it up carefully.

"Watanuki?" The male in questioned answered to his name.

"I need you to do something for me." He unlocked the door, and opened it slightly,

"Take this." He held it out with the handle aimed at the shorter male. Watanuki took it carefully.

Fuuma closed and locked the door.

**TT**

"Where did they go?" Chi questioned, stepping up to what remained of the group. Seishiro was still sitting with Subaru, and Shogo was still with Primera. Hideki was sitting with Tomoyo – just as Chi had left them. But Kamui was all alone...

"Where's Fuuma, and Sakura...And..."

Tomoyo gave her a look. One simple look that said it all to her.

"Oh...Oh god..." She didn't wait any longer. She ran in the direction of the cottage. Kurogane stepped into the area shortly afterwards, and it didn't take him long to understand.

He was after Chi in no time.

**TT**

"Fai...Do you want to talk about this, or...?"

"I...I feel so stupid...I played a game...A simple _game_...And he just...He over thought the whole topic...And...Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. No problem...One sec, alright?" The blonde nodded.

"Hey guys...Back up, okay? Fai and I are doing a room transfer." He heard shuffling. Unlocking the door, he pulled it open, and motioned for the blonde to come with him.

"You might want to hurry...We've got company on the way..." Watanuki informed them.

His eyes told them that Kurogane was on the way.

Fuuma directed Fai up to the bedroom that he was meant to share with Kamui. When the door was locked behind them, he sighed.

"Okay, this is how this works. If that's closed," he gestured to the glass door that lead to the balcony,

"No one can hear you...Except for me. So, if it's closed...Feel free to yell. Scream about how angry you are. Whatever you want. As soon as it opens...Your privacy is gone again."

"..." Fai sat down on the edge of the bed. Fuuma did the same. Fai waited. He was trying to figure out how to begin. Downstairs they heard Kurogane.

"Where is he?"

"He's upstairs, with Fuuma...Let him be for now. Fuuma might be able to calm him down a bit..." Watanuki answered.

"And don't bother with arguing...You started it!" Sakura announced.

Fai smiled at the childish sounding remark. Apparently, it worked. He could hear them sitting down downstairs.

"We can hear them, but they can't hear us." Fuuma reminded him quietly.

"...The argument was originally about trusting Kurogane. You see, my Father hates me, for being a twin, and moreover, for being gay...So he leaves me alone a lot...But he comes to check on me...And his visits never end well...I'm scared of him..." Fai wiped his eyes,

"Terrified, actually. And Kurogane keeps promising that nothing will happen to me...That he'll deal with my Father...But I didn't know if he'd really live up to his words...And I mean, saying you'll hospitalize somebody, doesn't solve all of the problems...So he tried to reassure me by telling me about his strength – as if I'm not aware of it already. And when I didn't answer..." The blonde scoffed. He couldn't believe his boyfriend was such an idiot...

"...When I didn't answer, he asked me if I'd trust you, or Kamui over him..."

"He really asked you that?"

Fai nodded,

"So he goes from saying that my Father won't split us up...To letting his jealousy stand between us. I just...Don't understand him sometimes..."

"...Fai?"

"Yeah?" The male in questioned turned his blue eyes to Fuuma.

"...Kurogane is really hot headed sometimes...But...It has to do with his past...I mean, I won't explain it to you myself, because it's personal...But...I'll say this much...The way we lost our parents...The way some of our parents have died...We were _lucky_...In comparison to what _he_ went through...No one should ever have to go through what he went through...And after his parents died...He lived with Tomoyo and her sister, and their parents...And then they died in a car accident a couple of years later...But it's the death of his own parents that's _really_...Well, I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready to..."

"...It was that bad?"

"Cancer looks like a Christmas present in comparison," Fuuma agreed.

"..."

"Come on, I want to show you something." Fuuma got to his feet and approached the glass doors leading to the balcony. Fai followed close behind.

Fuuma lead him onto the balcony, and they sat together, with the doors closed behind them, so that they had something to lean on.

"What is it?" Fai was confused now.

"The stars," the answer was simplistic. The blonde stared at the stars, awaiting some form of explanation.

"Do you know what my Mother once told me?" Fuuma's voice brought Fai out of his reverie. He shook his head; _no._

"She told me ; look at the stars."

"...Why?" It still didn't make any sense.

"Because, they have constellations."

"Why constellations?" Fai laughed a little. It seemed like such an odd thing to be talking about. His heart was breaking, and here they were, talking about _constellations..._

"Because, constellations are stars that fit perfectly together."

"..." Fai didn't know what to say.

"And, who made them that way? Some sort of God? Or did the stars just naturally end up in specific places in the sky?"

"People drew the constellations together..."

"True. People drew the constellations out..._But_...They were only able to do so, because the stars had already found their place...Side by side. They were where they were meant to be."

Fai didn't know how to answer. He knew what Fuuma was trying to say.

The constellations may have been created by people...But the stars themselves were not. The stars had found their way together on their own...

And sure, he was human...But his feelings went beyond that, didn't they? He and Kurogane had found their way together on their own...

"...Thanks Fuuma..."

When the male turned his attention back to the blonde, he found him smiling.

**TT**

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** I went to my first ever con on Saturday, August the 28th. It was FanExpo 2010 – in Toronto – and I stayed at a friends for the weekend. So, here's the best part: Not only was it my first ever con...But who did I meet AT this con? GOD. **(Though you all know him as VIC MIGNOGNA!)** And of course...I had my camera with me. So here's what I'll ask you to do...You must go to **Youtube, and type in: NekojinAmako – My con trip is up in two parts. Some of the footage isn't as good (it's decent), and my camera fucked up a little, so I'm sorry. But you can still see everything. SO PLEASE GO CHECK IT OUT.** You'll know it's me when you see me. I don't even think I need to tell you who I went dressed up as for my first con ever.

**TT**

**(A.N: Sorry I didn't give you guys any smex...Maybe next chapter...R&R?)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**(A.N:** So...Don't hate me you guys...I'm updating again – which I know you love – but I didn't write any smex...I got carried away again...GAH! **BUT I PROMISE YOU NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE SMEX. ****But here's the deal...See, I'm FIVE reviews away from hitting my 100 mark...So...I refuse to post anything more until I hit it...I mean I'll work on the chapter...But you guys won't get to read it until I hit 100 reviews...Sorry guys...So R&R?** It will bring the smex on faster! (And you could always just review older chapters if you want me to post sooner)...**TT** means time passing or scene changes**).**

**TT**

They were back in Fuuma's room now, and the blonde was trying to calm his nerves.

They had stayed on the balcony for at least twenty minutes, and now he worried that Kurogane was going to make all sorts of _assumptions..._

"Just breathe," Fuuma tried to sound reassuring. Fai nodded in his silence, and they stepped out of the room. The taller male lead the way down the stairs. The scene that greeted them was a little surprising.

Sakura, Syaoran, Watanuki, and Doumeki had all gone back to the campfire to wait. However, Chi now stood waiting in the kitchen. Kurogane was there as well, but he was sitting down at the kitchen table. He had his arms crossed on the table, and his head in his arms.

Chi rushed forward and hugged her little brother,

"Are you okay?" Her voice came out in a whisper. His eyes drifted to Kurogane – who didn't move,

"I'm fine...Is he...?"

Chi pulled back and smiled,

"He fell asleep. He was waiting for you, and he was so stressed...I kind of pulled that massage trick on him...The one you taught me?"

Fai smiled. He'd always been good at getting people to relax, and had taught his sister some of the things he'd learned.

"It put him to sleep. Oh, and Fuuma?"

The addressed male turned his attention to Chi.

"Living room."

He nodded, and headed in the direction of the living room.

Chi rested her eyes on her brother. Her expression told him what he already knew. He needed to go and talk to his boyfriend. Wake him up.

He nodded, and walked towards the table in silence. His heart felt heavy as he stood next to the male, and his fingers ran through the raven locks.

Kurogane stirred.

"Kergs? Kergs...Wake up..." Fai kept stroking his fingers through the males hair. Gentle and soothing. Just like his Mother had been, once upon a time.

"...Fai?" The voice was groggy, _tired..._

"Yeah. It's me." Would he end it all? Would he still be angry?

"...Fai..." He lifted his head, and the blonde lowered his hands.

And, before he could understand what was happening...Kurogane had spun him around, and pulled him into his lap. His arms wound around him, and he was cradled in _warmth..._

"Kergs?"

"...I'd thought I'd lost you...Not because you went upstairs with Fuuma...But because I was such an _asshole_..."

Fai reached up with his right hand, and brushed his fingers against his boyfriends cheek. His eyes were sad...

So sad, the expression tore at Kurogane's heartstrings.

The raven pulled the blonde into a kiss.

**TT**

He was on his knees, on the floor. His gaze traced the figure on the couch, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

_He'd fallen asleep waiting for him._

Reaching out, he gently brushed the males bangs away from his eyes, and whispered his name,

"Kamui..."

The shorter male stirred slightly. When he managed to open his eyes, he took a moment to adjust to the darkness.

"Fuuma?"

"Yeah?"

"How did things go?" One hand came up to his own face, to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

"Things went good. He just needed some time to cool down. I told him that thing my Mother told me, about the constellations and the stars...And then we just, sat on the balcony."

"Mm..."

"You look worn out...Do you want to go upstairs and sleep?"

Kamui answered with a tired nod. Fuuma rose to a kneeling position and turned himself around. His boyfriend didn't ask questions. He simply got off the couch, and slipped himself onto Fuuma's back.

**TT**

"It's so strange..."

"What is?" Fai turned his attention to his sister.

"Seeing you two kissing...I mean, not because you're both boys – I could care less about _that._ It's just that, Kurogane is so..._Broad_ in the shoulders...And he's got all this muscle on him...And then you're so slim and tiny in comparison..." She looked tired, but interested,

"It looks like he could _snap you in half,_ if he wanted to do so...He almost looks like he needs to take it easy with you...But when I see you two together, I know that he just, adjusts himself to you, automatically..."

"I don't know if I should feel offended or not," Fai spoke up, blushing. He knew about the power that lurked within his boyfriend. Anyone who got a look at him could see it.

_No one messed with him._

But despite the tough exterior, Fai had found out something wonderful; Kurogane was actually a real softy. Or at least he was when it came down to his boyfriend.

"I'm tired..."

"I think everyone is. I texted Tomoyo and told her to round everyone up and have them head back to the cottage. They're on their way back now." Chi turned her attention to Fuuma as he stepped back into the room, with Kamui riding piggyback style.

"Wore him out already?"

Fuuma just smiled,

"He was waiting up for me. I felt bad, so I figured the least I could do was carry him up to bed. He's tired, and I'm feeling it too."

"_He_ is still awake, and can hear you talking about _him_ as though _he_ were asleep," Kamui's voice broke through. His boyfriend laughed. The shorter male set his gaze on the familiar blonde at the kitchen table,

"Feeling better Fai?"

"Much, thank you. I feel bad for getting everyone into a frenzy like that..." His expression showed that he meant what he said.

"Well, in every relationship, there are bound to be fights." Kamui closed his eyes momentarily, before refocusing his gaze on the blonde,

"Some are more severe than others."

"We're working on that," Fai admitted, looking away.

"Fuuma and I still have arguments that get out of hand. Just last weekend we had an argument...It was stupid really...His Father had called the house asking to visit – we don't know _why he_ _bothers,_ when he doesn't even _like_ coming over...Fuuma told him yes without talking to me about it. I hate the man, so I went into a rage and threw something made of glass..." The shorter male tugged his boyfriends shirt upward. Fuuma's taut chest was revealed, and there was a scar running from his chest to his side.

"I did this to him...Because I was angry...And it got out of hand..." Kamui's eyes looked far away for a moment.

"Hey now, it's just a scar. It doesn't even hurt anymore. It'll probably fade out eventually anyway," Fuuma reminded him, and his boyfriend let his shirt fall back over his chest.

"So, it's natural that couples fight...And I've seen for myself that no matter how angry he gets, Kurogane won't hurt you...Fuuma is the same way with me...Though honestly I'm more concerned with you hurting _yourself_," Kamui had returned his attention to Fai.

The blonde in question kept his eyes on the floor.

"The scars on your stomach." Eye contact was made,

"Those _aren't_ self-inflicted. The angle shows that it's not possible for them to be. Though the scars are very close to the areas over a few of your vitals...Liver, kidneys..." Kamui's gaze seeped into Fai's very core,

"Your Father, I presume?"

A nod.

"He's come after me multiple times...Those scars are stab wounds...Showing some of the times in which he's tried to kill me."

Kurogane watched his boyfriends face in surprise.

"Your history just sounds _worse and worse_..." Kamui mused sleepily,

"But you know...You have friends who will watch out for you. I may not _look_ like much, but I can take down almost anyone who stands in my way...Except for maybe Kurogane. I don't think any of us could take him down..."

"_Che._ Not likely," the raven in question murmured.

**TT**

He'd woken up before his boyfriend. He could hear fumbling downstairs, and it had concerned him...So now he was up.

Detaching himself from Kurogane, he snuck off to the washroom to change into his swimming boxers – he figured he might as well – and to freshen up. When this task was completed, he grabbed a t-shirt, and crept out into the hallway. He didn't bother with putting the shirt on just yet – he was too absorbed in his thoughts.

As he entered the kitchen, he found one of males of the group searching through things rather clumsily. Fai tugged his t-shirt on, before he addressed the male,

"Looking for something in particular?"

The raven haired boy jumped, and whirled himself around.

"Fai..."

"Subaru? What are you doing up?" He wasn't used to seeing him alone. Usually he had Seishiro, or Kamui attached to his hip.

"I'm an early riser..."

"Hyuu~ I never would have guessed it." Fai busied himself with looking through the wide range of what they had available to them to eat.

"Fai, you move through here like it's your own kitchen...Like you're used to it..."

"Well I'm still getting used to going through everything back home...So, I'm thinking of it as _practice_." When he had a basic idea behind what he wanted to eat, and what he had to work with, he turned his attention on Subaru,

"So, what would you like?"

"Oh...You don't have to make breakfast...I'll have some cereal, or something..."

"No, no...I'm used to cooking. I like it." He was pondering what the others would want.

"Actually Fai...I'm not that hungry right now...I was going to ask for your help with something else though..."

"Sure thing. What is it?"

**TT**

"Lets just hope that they stay asleep." They had wandered a little ways up the cliff, and stopped where Subaru felt comfortable. He'd never done a jump off a cliff...And the others seemed to enjoy it...

"I don't think they will." He was staring down at the water. This was _horrifically thrilling._

"We're starting small with you...It's much better to work your way up. Trust me, I know it." Fai shook his head from side to side – remembering his ridiculous idea to start at the top. Subaru smiled and nodded. The blonde jumped in first. He figured it would be better if he was waiting in the water for the male – just in case.

**TT**

They had dried off by standing in the suns light, and once they had dried off enough – they returned to the cottage. They had been talking all morning – with some jumps in between their chatter.

Subaru may be quiet at times, but Fai had realized that when he spoke, he did so in a way that was both polite and sweet. He was interesting...

"Alright, I'm making breakfast. What am I making?" As the question errupted from him, Sakura poked her head into the kitchen – from the hall that lead to the living room.

"Where have you two been?"

"We were up early, so we went swimming. Why do you ask?" Fai's answer was reasonable, and he said it with ease. There wasn't a reply, so Fai turned to face Sakura.

_Oh...Well that explained a lot._

"Subaru!" Kamui rushed forward and embraced the younger male.

"I'm fine, Kamui," he tried to sound reassuring. They weren't related by blood...But sometimes you simply couldn't tell. They definitely looked alike, and they_ acted_ like family...

"Your skin is...Why are you _pink?_" Kamui sounded worried as he pulled out of the hug and examined the male,

"You look kind of how Fai did...But not as severe...Wait a minute..."

The blonde in question was hoping his boyfriend would come and stand in front of him right about now...He was afraid he might _die..._

"Fai...You didn't take him up there..." Kamui looked surprised, confused, and worried, all packed into one.

"Kamui, it's fine, really...I asked him too..." Subaru didn't want to cause a scene.

"It's _not_ fine! You're lucky that Seishiro is still asleep! No offense Fai, if _you_ want to be reckless, be my guest, but don't put my brother's life in danger!"

"Kamui..." Subaru knew that the male was usually very cranky in the morning, and anything and everything would set him off...At least until he had some coffee.

"_Don't._ And _you,_ I can't believe you would ask him to take you up there! Are you _insane?_"

"Kamui, _please_..."

"I-!" Kamui's sentence was cut off as a hand wrapped itself around his mouth from behind.

"Don't mind him. He's always this cranky when he first gets up...He's going to be pissy until he has some coffee." Fuuma's voice was soothing, and reassuring.

Kamui – not liking his position of speechlessness – bit down on one of Fuuma's fingers..._Hard._

"Ouch!" Fuuma moved his hand away quickly, and hissed,

"_Jeeze_ Kamui, were you a _vampire_ in your past life?"

The male in question didn't answer. He glared and stormed his way into the living room.

Subaru sat down at the dining room table, feeling bad for starting a fight. Fuuma sat down as well, and Fai grabbed the first aid kit.

"Fuuma, you alright?"

"Not the first time he's gone after my hands," his smile was reassuring.

"He really got you, huh?" Fai cleaned up the bite marks and pulled out some bandages. He applied polysporin before he wound the band-aids over the cuts.

"Thanks. That was fast..."

"I know the smell of blood a little too well. Even a small amount triggers an instant reaction in me."

"You can smell that little amount?" Fuuma stared at his bandaged finger.

"..." Fai didn't answer as he put away the safety kit.

Fuuma looked up to check on him, and was met with the image of Fai's tattoo. He looked away again – remembering the story.

"When you're lying in a pool of your own blood...You gain a sensitivity to the smell..."

**TT**

He had wandered downstairs, because he'd woken up to an empty bed. And – after the previous nights scare – he'd grown concerned. But, upon nearing the kitchen, he'd found Fai with Fuuma. He couldn't help it...The jealousy had been triggered once again, and he almost walked away...

But upon turning around, he found Chi, with her eyebrow raised. She saw the scene that he had been watching, looked back to him, and rolled her eyes.

Her expression read: _Please, tell me you're joking._

He'd turned himself back around, just in time to hear the blood conversation.

"Gorey morning conversations?"

"Kergs!" The blonde was in his arms in seconds.

"...Fai..." The long, tan arms wrapped around the pale body, engulfing the male in warmth.

"I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't have disappeared on you like that...But I was up pretty early...And for once I wasn't cranky...And Subaru was up too...So, we went swimming!"

"And cliff jumping, by what I gather," Fuuma added, looking amused.

"And Kamui is in the living room fuming now, isn't he?" Clearly Kurogane was used to the behaviour.

Fuuma nodded,

"I've got the bite marks to prove it."

Chi poked her brother in the side on her way into the kitchen, and he squirmed in his boyfriends hold, reacting to being poked.

"What bit you?" She made her way to the coffee makers (yes, there's more than one – fifthteen people equals lots of coffee), and began the morning brew for each.

"Not _what,_ but _who_," Kurogane sounded amused,

"I thought you'd learned your lesson with that already. You should already know better than to lock a hand over his mouth when he does a morning rant...You're lucky he didn't tear your finger open."

"He didn't get the chance. He just bit down until I bled."

Fai freed himself from his comfortable position in his boyfriends arms so that he could grab his t-shirt, and tug it back on. Subaru did the same when the blonde handed him his previously discarded shirt.

"I feel like making breakfast...What should I make?"

"You don't have to cook for fifthteen people..." Kurogane murmured, surprised that the blonde was offering at all.

"I'll help," Chi volunteered.

Watanuki appeared in the doorway to the kitchen then,

"I might as well help. Doumeki will ask for something ridiculous anyways, and if I don't make it, he'll harass me all day."

"Watanuki-kun! Good morning!" Fai beamed at him, and the shorter male smiled – happy to see that his friend was obviously feeling better.

"Good morning."

"Jeeze Kurogane...You bought all of these high-class things...Coffee makers should not work that quickly..." Chi was watching the coffee brew.

"There's a kettle in the cupboard above your head. I brought one along..." The raven shrugged.

Fai smiled, knowing that his boyfriend had been considering him...

Chi got the kettle going.

By now, the others were awake. Everyone seemed to know better than to enter the living room – where Kamui sat with his knees pulled to his chest, and his face buried in his arms.

So everyone sat at the dinner table, talking amongst themselves, and amongst the four people who had volunteered to cook breakfast. Really, Fai was doing most of the work. Sakura was running back and forth getting things for him...Chi was in charge of the coffee, and Watanuki was working on Doumeki's ridiculous breakfast. So the main cooking job was up to Fai.

Fuuma had taken two cups of coffee out to the living room somewhere in the midst of it all.

_But he hadn't come back._

Fai was too focused on the cooking to really pay any attention to who was where. He just paid attention to Sakura's eager assitance, and the food that he was working on.

He'd ended up having to cook a lot of bacon. It seemed that everyone was addicted to it. He'd also cooked up a package of breakfast sausages, he'd also made at least ten eggs...At _least._ And then on top of that nine omelettes.

Chi set out forks for everyone, and brought them all more coffee. Sakura finally collapsed in her chair after getting her breakfast loaded onto her plate. Fai served the omelletes first, and the eggs. The rest was all take-what-you-want, and he set those plates on the table for people to pick through. He set up Fuuma and Kamui's places before he set off into the living room.

"Breakfast is ready you two. Come and get it while it's still hot."

"Kamui? Are you ready to go back?" Fuuma set his eyes on his boyfriend.

The shorter male had barely shifted from his position of hiding his face. He'd only done so long enough to drink down some coffee.

"Go ahead without me Fuuma. I'm not ready yet."

The male was reluctant, but he did as he was told, bringing their cups with him. Kamui didn't budge. Fai sighed, and headed over to him – resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Kamui? Are you okay?"

His head shifted from side to side – his forehead still pressed to his arms.

"What's wrong?"

"...Why are you so _nice?_" He sounded _miserable._

"Does it _bother _you?"

"...A little...Only because I was a _jerk_ earlier...And you're not showing any anger...You're just trying to encourage me to return to the group...Why?"

"You're our friend, Kamui. You belong with the rest of us."

"But I yelled at you...And at Subaru...And I bit Fuuma..."

"You were tired and worried...And a vampire in your past life...It's not a problem...No one is hurt...Fuuma's finger wasn't really damaged. He just bled a little bit. And Subaru and I are miserable without you out there with the rest of us."

"..."

Fai stepped closer, and situated himself on the couch next to the male. He didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around him either. He just cradled him in his arms in a way similar to the way Kurogane held him...

Kamui wrapped his arms around Fai, and tried his hardest not to cry.

**TT**

**(A.N: So...I didn't give you guys any smex...-sweatdrop- But next chapter I PROMISE YOU there will be smex. PROMISE. R&R? It might bring the smex on faster...).**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**(A.N:** Alright, chapter 18! I had some more drama to include, and some fun...So, I put some smex at the end of this chapter (DouWata smex, nomnomnom). **There's a scene written in italics...That's a flashback sequence.** Poor Fai. –Sadface- Anyways, I'm sorry that I didn't get this out to you guys sooner...But I've been sleeping during the days, and staying up at night, and my life has just been really backwards lately. So, I apologize. **ALSO I believe that you should all send some love to : yaoixalchemist, for being the 100****th**** reviewer!** **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. **R&R? Love you guys!)**

**TT**

"No way. I could reach that rock before you, anyday." Fai was staring at the rock. It was pretty far out, but not _too_ far.

"I don't know about that...You're quick, but I'm stronger..." Kurogane rolled his shoulders.

"Oh _really?_ Alright, how about we make a little_ bet_ out of this then?" The blonde was confident. He knew he moved through the water in a way that was too quick for his boyfriend. It had been recreational for him...Practicing swimming until he was faster than anyone else he'd ever known...

It had been dangerous at one point too...He'd had to pull Sakura out of the pool when she slipped on a diving board jump and hit her head.

"A bet? Uh oh, what are you two doing?" Fuuma was quirking a brow at the scene before him. Kurogane wore a smirk, and Fai had one on too.

"Well, Kurogane thinks he can reach that rock out there," the blonde pointed to it,

"Before I can."

"Ooo...Hey, anyone want in on a bet?" Fuuma glanced at the group of friends.

"Who's betting and for what?" Kamui looked confused.

"Kurogane and Fai. They're trying to see who can reach that rock out there the fastest," the male indicated the target as he spoke.

"That seems kind of foolish...Yet somehow extremely amusing..."

The others had gathered around to figure out what was happening. When everyone had gotten the information, a few people wanted in on the bet. Those who didn't want in on it, went to sit in the shade of the propped up umbrellas.

Fuuma, Kamui, Chi and Sakura were on Fai's side. Syaoran, Tomoyo, and Shogo were all siding with Kurogane.

"Alright, here's how I want this to work," Fai spoke up, addressing everyone who had gotten involved,

"Kurogane and I are going to race to the rock, but there need to be consequences. Every bet has consequences. So, he and I will have a seperate system for winner and loser...But to involve you guys...What's the highest we can go, money-wise? What's the highest bet?"

The group spoke amongst themselves, and everyone agreed on fifty dollars. It was high, but it wasn't _outrageous._

"So, if I win, Kurogane has to pay the people voting for me, and the people voting for Kurogane owe me some money. If I lose, I have to pay the people voting for Kurogane, and my group will owe Kurogane some money. Fair?"

Everyone seemed to agree.

"Alright, so that leaves our bet then," the blonde had his attention focused on the raven.

"I've got nothing. Any ideas?" Kurogane set his attention on the group.

"Ooo! Pick me, pick me!" Tomoyo was squealing like a fangirl.

"I'm afraid to ask," her cousin admitted, but she ignored him.

"If Fai loses, I can play dress up?" She looked hopeful.

It took all of Kurogane's willpower not to laugh,

"Alright, that works. Here's my end of the deal...You lose, and she," he gestured to his cousin,

"Gets to dress you up however she so pleases...And believe me, there will be a camera involved."

Fai risked a glance at Tomoyo. Her expression told him everything that he needed to know.

_He couldn't afford to lose._

"...Fine. Tomoyo-chan?"

She turned her attention to him.

"Do you happen to have any fabrics, or anything that you wouldn't mind me using?"

"I have a whole sewing kit...And of course I have fabrics...Sometimes I can't sleep at night, so I'll just sew...Why do you ask?"

"For my end of the bargain."

"Ohh...You can use whatever you want! I have sewing needles, thread, measuring tapes, fairy wings, frilly fabrics, shiny fabrics, normal fabrics..."

"Thank you." He set his gaze back on his boyfriend,

"Alright, if you lose...I'm making you a _dress._ And you will have to wear it, _all day._ Possibly with fairy wings...And Tomoyo gets to take pictures and record you walking around like that. All day – tomorrow. If I lose, I'll wear whatever she makes me put on – tomorrow."

Kurogane shook his head from side to side, but he was still smirking,

"You're on."

**TT**

"Hold still," Fai giggled, trying to hold his hands steady as he took measurements on his boyfriend.

"Remind me why I agreed to this?"

"You got cocky, and thought you'd win. I may not be as strong as you are, but I'm_ definitely_ faster."

Kurogane sighed, feeling defeated. He never should have tried to take on the blonde. Now he was trapped in a terrible situation...

But Fai seemed to be enjoying himself...So he guessed it wasn't _so_ terrible...

**TT**

Fai had been sewing away for a few hours. He and Tomoyo were couped up in one corner of the living room, with Tomoyo's rather quiet sewing machine. The blonde was threading the material through the powerful needle, and Tomoyo was there to pass him whatever he asked for, and to watch him work.

The t.v. was on, but everyone was busy watching Fai's handiwork. It seemed that he was good at everything...

Swimming, sewing, singing...He was a pianist, a violinist, a guitarist...He could draw, and paint (he'd shown them some pictures of his artwork), he was a chef, and a songwriter...

"Why is everyone staring at me?" He said it without looking up, and his question was loud enough for the others to hear.

"Because you're good at _everything_," Fuuma answered simply from somewhere nearby.

"No I'm not." The blonde kept his eyes on his work.

"Shall we _list_ the things you're good at?" Fuuma's voice sounded again.

"No, thank you. I'm good at _things,_ I'm just not good at_ everything_." Fai was working hard.

"I don't know about that...Swimming, sewing, singing, drawing, painting, cooking, playing the piano..."

"He's also good at writing music," Watanuki added.

"And he plays the violin...And the guitar..." Kurogane spoke up – remembering.

"No way, you play guitar? Jeeze, is there anything you _can't_ do?" Fuuma was clearly impressed,

"You'll have to demonstrate some of these _mad skills_ for us."

Fai moved his hands away from the machine. His eyes clouded over.

"Fai?" Tomoyo looked concerned.

"_I'll never be as good as you." He stared down at the guitar in his lap._

_His brother was positioned next to him,_

"_You can be just as good as I am...In fact, I bet you could be __**better**__ than me – if you'll try."_

_**TT**_

"_Happy birthday!" His twin cheered, glomping him. He sat him down, and told him to close his eyes. _

_When he opened his eyes, he was met with a guitar, with a bow on it._

"_Mom gave me money to get you a present...And you've gotten really good..." As he spoke, he set the guitar in his brothers lap,_

"_Just promise me that you'll never give up on practicing."_

"_I promise."_

_**TT**_

"_Mom's gone...Mom's gone..." He couldn't stop rocking himself back and forth._

"_I know...I know she is...We need to do something...We need to focus on something else..." He was so fragile, and he knew that he wasn't too far behind her – death wise. The Doctors had told him so in private._

_He picked up his guitar, and began playing a familiar song. One he'd written a long time ago...A duet._

"_**I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh.  
I want to hold you high, and steal your pain, away...  
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well.  
I want to hold you high, and steal your pain."**_

_He looked happy when his twin chimed in,_

"'_**Cause I'm broken, when I'm lonesome...**_

_**And I don't feel right, when you're gone away..."**_

_They had curled up into bed together that night. The cursed twins entwined in body and in soul. They told one another that they loved each other. They shared tears and laughter..._

_And only one of them woke up the next day..._

"_It's__** your**__ fault he died so quickly! He probably couldn't __**breathe**__ with you wrapped around him like that! You fucking faggot...You killed your own brother!" His Father had stormed out of the room in a rage._

_With shaking hands, he brushed his twins hair out of his eyes,_

"_Fai..." His shaking hands came up to the sides of his own head, his fingers embedded themselves in his hair...His eyes grew in size, and he screamed the name of the person he'd lost – collapsing to his knees._

"Fai! Fai, snap out of it!" Chi's voice came from right in front of him.

He blinked, and locked his gaze with that of his sister. His eyes were wild...

"You just went to that _off-limits_ place in your head again, didn't you?"

"...I...I'm fine..." He looked back to what he had previously been working on. He didn't raise his hands to continue – even though he was nearly done.

"Fai..." His sister looked sad, and he understood her concern. But he couldn't allow himself to give in to his weakness. He lifted his hands back to his work.

**TT**

They were sitting around the campfire yet again. They'd been talking for hours about random facts about themselves. Favourite foods, the foods they hated, favourite colours...

Anything that came to mind, they spoke of it.

"Biggest fear," Seishiro's voice suggested.

"What if you have more than one?" It was Chi's voice.

"Alright, you can name up to five things."

"Five things huh?"

Everyone put some thought into it. They all had fears, didn't they? Would others mock them for being terrified of certain things? But then again, they _were_ all _friends..._

"...Heights," Hideki spoke up first. He wanted to break the silence,

"I'm terrified of heights. That's why I can't do that jump."

"I'm terrified of heights too," Primera agreed,

"And of being alone..."

_And so it continued._

Some owned up to being afraid of being alone, and of heights. Sakura owned up to her fear of drowning, and explained her near-death swimming experience, in which Fai had saved her. Watanuki explained that he was terrified of ghosts, but he didn't go into detail with his reasoning.

_Some of the group admitted to fearing their Fathers._

"I'll tell you guys something I'm scared of. One of the few things that actually makes me afraid when I dare to think about it," Shogo was speaking up.

There was a pause as everyone turned their attention to him.

"...How I'm going to _die_."

"Shogo, don't talk about something so dark," Primera whispered, holding herself closer to him. His grip around her tightened.

"Everyone thinks about it from time to time...I think _everyone_ is afraid of it," Chi spoke up.

"_Che._ I'm not afraid of how I'm going to _die_," Kurogane's voice retorted. It was clear by the way in which he spoke, that he meant his words.

_Most of the group knew his reasoning._

"...Neither am I," Fai spoke up now too. People were slightly surprised by his outburst.

"You're not afraid of how you'll die, Fai-san?" Watanuki was confused.

"No. I'm not." He said it with ease, and they could see in his eyes that he meant every word.

"Why not?" Syaoran spoke up now.

"...When you're staring death in the face, in the ways that I have...You start to lose your fear."

Tomoyo risked a glance at Kurogane.

Fai noticed, but said nothing.

"I know something that you're all afraid of, and not mentioning," Tomoyo spoke up – breaking the silence.

"Kurogane in a dress?" Fuuma teased. There was laughter amongst the group.

"No...Losing your other half."

Silence took over the group.

In a way, Fai had lost his other half. _His twin._ But in the way of romance, he still had his other half – _Kurogane._

"You see? You didn't _say it,_ but now that I've mentioned it, you're all _thinking_ about it."

"You're right, Tomoyo-chan...I would die without Kurogane," Fai risked looking at his boyfriend. The raven held him closer,

"Don't talk about _dying,_ okay?"

"As much as I tease Kamui, I would be lost without him..." Fuuma was agreeing with Tomoyo's words.

"I don't think anyone else could handle me. I'm nasty in the mornings, and Fuuma takes it with stride...And he cheers me up when I'm down..."

There were agreements all around the campfire. Even Watanuki reluctantly agreed that he needed Doumeki.

**TT**

Apparently, he needed Doumeki more than he would let on in front of the others.

The two were locked away in their bedroom, and Doumeki had decided that he was going to go after his boyfriend. He'd locked him against a wall, and pressed him into a kiss.

"Doumeki...What are you _doing?_" The shorter male pulled out of the kiss, and gripped the males shoulders. He turned his head away – embarrassed. He could tell what the males intentions were.

"Watanuki..." The addressed male met his boyfriends gaze. Doumeki's fingers embedded themselves in the shorter males hair, as he lowered his head to kiss his boyfriend once more.

Watanuki gripped the shoulders of Doumeki's shirt in his hands.

The taller raven was rough, but his kiss was warm, and passionate. His tongue slid along Watanuki's tongue, and all Watanuki could taste was his boyfriends mouth.

"Doumeki..." His name came out on his breath.

The amber eyed male tugged off his boyfriends t-shirt, and pressed him back into a kiss – before he could speak.

Not because he worried about the others hearing – he knew they couldn't. All of these rooms were soundproofed. And he didn't silence him because he didn't love his voice – he did.

He silenced him because he didn't want to argue about what they were about to do. They'd done it before, hadn't they? So why did the male play _hard-to-get_ so often?

"Doumeki, quit it!" Watanuki gripped his shoulders once more,

"_What_ has gotten _into you?_"

He didn't answer – but he _did_ let go. He stepped away from the shorter raven, and tugged off his own t-shirt. He stepped out of his pants, and climbed into bed – wearing nothing but boxers. He rolled onto his side – his back to his boyfriend.

"Doumeki?" Watanuki removed his pants as well, so that he was only in his boxers. He removed his glasses, and set them on the bedside table, before he climbed into bed.

"Doumeki?" He wrapped a slender arm around the male,

"What's wrong?"

"..."

"...You're mad at me." It was a statement, and not a question. Watanuki felt his heart aching...He hated when Doumeki was upset with him...

"Not mad. Just slightly annoyed."

"Annoyed?" Watanuki rested his head against his boyfriends arm,

"Why?"

Doumeki's skin was soft, yet firm against his cheek. He was warm...He could fall asleep this way...

"I'm annoyed because of these stupid _games_ you play."

"What games?" His boyfriend smelled of the smoke from the campfire, and of his own unique scent. It was deep, but not to the point of being too strong.

"The _hard-to-get_ games. You've already slept with me...Why do you still fight me off?"

"..."

"If you don't want me, then just say so."

He sounded so monotonous. He'd closed his eyes already, so that Watanuki couldn't see how much being rejected hurt him. It wasn't about the _sex._ It was the fact that the male shoved away from him whenever he tried to kiss him...Even in _private..._

"..." Watanuki didn't know how to answer. He was shy by nature...And Doumeki did all sorts of things to his heart – without even trying.

_And now he thought that he didn't want him. _

Watanuki didn't know what to do. So, he did the first thing that came into his head – he climbed off the bed, grabbed his t-shirt, and left the room.

When he was in the hallway, he pulled the t-shirt back on, and tried to control the tears that he could feel welling up behind his eyes.

**TT**

"You know you're not to blame for his death..." The raven murmured, watching his boyfriends face.

Fai smiled lightly, and nodded,

"But I was a kid then...And my Mother had just died...I was happy for her, in a way – because she'd been in so much _pain_...But my brother...I never wanted to lose him..."

"...You can't blame yourself for his death though...I can see you agreeing with me, but you need to start _believing_ it. He was sick, and he passed in his sleep – which you should be happy about. It means he didn't suffer when he died...The last thing he heard you tell him was that you loved him..."

Fai had explained to Kurogane where his thoughts had taken him earlier. He was happy that his boyfriend was being so comforting.

"I'd be lost without you," the blonde murmured, smiling.

He was thinking _dead,_ but he used_ lost_ instead. He knew Kurogane hated him talking about death.

There was a knock at the door, and both males looked.

"Fai-san?"

"That, would be Watanuki-kun." The blonde hopped off the bed, and over to the door – forgetting to grab his shirt on the way. He pulled it open, and peered out into the hallway,

"Watanuki-kun?"

"...I wasn't interrupting anything...Was I?" He looked like he was going to _cry._

"...No, not really...We were just talking...Is something wrong?"

"Well...Uh..." The male pulled off his glasses, and folded them, so that he could hold them in one fist. He wiped at his eyes with the back of his other hand,

"Uh...I...I kind of need to..." He tried to clear his throat, to talk past the lump,

"...To talk to...Do you mind if we go downstairs?"

"Watanuki-kun...Sure...Give me a minute, I just need to grab a shirt..." The blonde grabbed his t-shirt off the back of a chair, and kissed his boyfriend quickly, murmuring that he'd be back.

**TT**

When they were downstairs, Fai set his shirt down on the back of a chair. Watanuki sat down at the table, as the blonde went to the fridge to get them each a bottle of water.

"You can talk, I'm listening." Fai pulled out two water bottles, and located a black marker, to write the first letters of their names on the caps, before he opened both bottles, and set one down in front of Watanuki – who thanked him.

When Fai had pulled his shirt back on, he sat, and the raven boy began,

"...Doumeki and I are fighting."

"Couples fight sometimes."

"..."

"I'll be quiet – go ahead."

"No, it's not that. I...I just...I'm not used to fighting with him like this...Usually we have fake arguments...Or I'll get slightly annoyed when I have to do something that I don't want to...But this is...It's _different_..."

"...What was the argument about?"

Watanuki's face flushed. Fai smiled knowingly,

"Ohh, I see."

"It's not like that! Well...I mean, it is...But it isn't...It's complicated...Sort of..." He took a drink of his water, and fidgeted before he continued,

"He was...He was instigating something that he shouldn't have been...But I stopped him...He went to bed and turned his back on me...And when I asked him what was wrong, he didn't answer...I assumed he was mad, but he told me he wasn't...He said he was slightly annoyed...At me, for playing _hard-to-get_ games...I know he wasn't mad about me rejecting him for the _sexual _aspect...But he was hurt that I push away from him all the time...Even when we're alone..."

"Why do you think you push him away?" Fai took a drink from his water bottle as he waited for an answer.

"I...I don't know...I just...He makes me feel _so_...He makes my stomach twist and turn...But not in a bad way! And my heart pounds when I see him...And when he kisses me, I feel myself letting go of everything that I know...All of my logic goes out the window, and I can't focus on anything except for how his lips feel against mine, or his hands in my hair...And he's the focus through the haze, and he's all that I see...When I'm awake, I'm with him, and when I'm asleep, I still feel him beside me...He's warm, and strong, and he cares – even though his expression doesn't really _show it_...And sometimes he frustrates the _hell_ out of me...But I forgive him, because I'm lost without him..."

Fai pressed the back of one of his hands to his friends forehead,

"...You don't have a fever, and you're definitely not sick...So that means there's only one other explanation."

"..." Watanuki watched the smile that crossed Fai's features.

"You love him."

The raven squeezed his eyes shut tightly, feeling himself choking on the lump in his throat.

Fai didn't speak, as he capped his water bottle. He stood up, and wrapped his arms around Watanuki – who buried his face in the males t-shirt.

"You've lost so much Fai-san...You've lost more than anyone ever should..." A sob,

"But you...But you're still so _open_ to _love_...You've loved Kurogane ever since you first laid eyes on him, haven't you?"

"...I liked him when I first saw him...I was interested in him...And then it grew into love when we got to talking..."

"You see? You wanted to be with him...And you knew it from the moment you saw him...You've lost everything, but you're still so open to loving Kurogane..."

"Watanuki-kun..."

"I've loved Doumeki, ever since I first laid eyes on him! But I was stubborn! I _knew_ I wanted him, but I pushed him away...I _always_ pushed him away...It ended up becoming a habit, and I can't seem to _stop_...I love him...I love him so much..." He was shaking violently. Fai smoothed down his hair.

"It'll be okay...It'll work out, I promise you..."

Unbeknownst to the two males downstairs, their counterparts had been listening the entire time.

Doumeki felt better, knowing that Watanuki had just spilled his heart out. Sure, he'd been saying it to Fai...But his words had been meant for the raven in the doorway.

Kurogane was listening to the conversation, so that he would know when Fai was returning to their room. He'd wound up hearing things that he hadn't actually _known..._

"Lets go back upstairs, okay? You can talk to Doumeki...And I'm sure he'll understand...Just tell him what you told me..."

Upon hearing the words, Doumeki closed the bedroom door.

**TT**

Watanuki stared at the door, _shaking._ Fai put a hand on his back, and nudged him forwards. The shorter male gulped down his fear, and grabbed the doorknob. He twisted it, and pushed the door open – stepping inside.

He didn't bother with closing the door behind himself. He set his water bottle on the bedside table, and discarded his t-shirt. When he found an empty bed, he was confused – until he heard a gentle thud from behind him.

Whirling around, he found his boyfriend – with his back pressed to the door.

"Doumeki..."

The taller raven didn't look up upon hearing his name. He kept his eyes on trained on the floor. Watanuki removed his glasses – setting them on the bedside table. He then approached his boyfriend slowly – stopping an arms length in front of him.

"Doumeki? I...I need to talk to you...There's something you should know..."

The amber eyed male finally lifted his gaze. Watanuki felt his stomach doing all of those twists and turns that he was _far too familiar_ with. His heart threatened to leap out of his chest...

Doumeki grabbed him by the arm, and whipped him around. Watanuki ended up with his back against the door, and his boyfriend pressed against him. Doumeki's lips were pressed against those of his boyfriend.

The shorter male felt his mind glazing over, and his thoughts disappearing...His logic leaving him...A haze was taking over his mind, and all he could see, all he could feel, all he knew, was that Doumeki had him in his hold, had him in his kiss, and had taken over him all over again.

"Doumeki..._Wait_...I have to tell you...Before I forget..."

"I heard everything you said...I was listening in on the conversation."

"...Idiot..."

"I love you too," Doumeki's voice teased him, and his lips found those of the shorter male once again.

Watanuki could feel his body heating up – reacting to his boyfriend being pressed flush to him.

_His reaction didn't go unnoticed._

"Doumeki?"

"What?"

"..." The shorter raven swallowed his pride,

"...Take me..._Please_..." His face was red – as were his ears. He was shaking like crazy, and he knew it.

Doumeki's eyes grew slightly – he was surprised that the male had actually _asked him_ to...

He lifted him carefully – amused by the little yelp Watanuki gave, because he'd been taken by surprise. When he'd set him down in bed, he climbed in on top of him – kissing him deeply. Their mouths worked in a unison that was impossible to describe. Doumeki's tongue roved its way through Watanuki's mouth.

The shorter of the two males was moaning already, simply from the weight of his boyfriend lying on top of him, and from their heated kiss.

Sometimes Doumeki forgot how much he loved the sound of Watanuki's moans. His growing erection was evidence of that.

He slid the fingers of one hand across his boyfriends chest – listening to his moans and pants as he traced sensitive areas. His need for him was _growing._

He attacked his neck, and travelled downwards, to the males chest. His tongue slid over and around the males nipples – _teasingly, slowly..._

"_Ahh_...Doumeki..._Please_..."

The taller male grunted, trying to restrain himself long enough to get the lubrication out, so that it could be applied...

He removed both pairs of boxers, leaving the two of them entangled, and completely naked. It was familiar to both of them...

Doumeki pulled out the lubrication, but Watanuki's smooth hands stopped him. The shorter male took the lubrication, and applied it to his hands. And then – blushing a deep red – he began applying it to his boyfriends erection.

"_Nnh!"_ Doumeki let out a moan. His boyfriends hands were slick, and coating his member in lubrication...Which just made him think about what they were going to do...Which just made him moan again...

When he felt enough had been applied, he kissed his boyfriend with a wild passion – grazing his teeth over the males lower lip, before he slid his tongue into his mouth.

"_Nnh_...Doumeki..." Watanuki's voice moaned the name as the male positioned himself. Doumeki pressed another kiss to his lips, before he pressed himself into his boyfriend.

Watanuki cried out, feeling the familiar feeling of both pleasure and pain. It would always hurt in the beginning...But he knew that once they got moving, it would feel _so much better..._

His boyfriend pulled out a bit, and then pushed himself forwards once more. Watanuki half-moaned, half-cried. Doumeki kissed him again, deeply, roving his boyfriends mouth in an attempt to soothe him...

They panted when their lips parted, and Doumeki pulled out again, to give Watanuki another thrust. This time, the shorter male moaned.

The taller male didn't need any more initiative than that. He began the rhythm, pulling out and pushing himself back in _again and again._

Watanuki moved with the thrusts, catching on to the rhythm that his boyfriend had created.

He was losing track of everything. Everything but his very senses. He could taste his boyfriends kisses...And when he dared to open his eyes, he could see him...Which just aroused him further, and caused him to moan even _louder..._

His scent was all around him, smothering him in the best of ways...And he could hear him grunting with his thrusts, and moaning...Though Doumeki's moans were definitely quiet in comparison to those of his own...

And he could feel him_. He could most definitely feel him._ His member tucked away inside of him, pushing him to the highest brinks of ecstacy...His lips when he dared to kiss him...He had one hand on Doumeki's back, and his fingernails dragging themselves along his spine – gently, so as not to leave marks, but he knew it was _intoxicating..._

His focus was gone, and all he could see, and feel...All of it lead back to Doumeki.

The males strong arms around him, and his body moving in perfect rhythm against that of his own...

"_Ahh_..._Ahh_...Doumeki..."

"_Nnh_...Watanuki..."

He'd said his name through their haze, and he panted out another moan. He knew he couldn't last forever...He was dying for release. There was a tingling sensation travelling downwards into his stomach, and with each thrust, each moan...He drew nearer.

"_Ahh_...Doumeki...I can't..." At the sound of his words, Doumeki pressed deeper – causing Watanuki to moan even louder than before.

The taller raven wrapped one hand around his boyfriends erection, and began working him with their rhythm.

"_Ahh! Nnh...Nnh...!"_ Watanuki squirmed slightly, feeling the build up. Doumeki pressed deeply, and his hand was lovingly rough against his boyfriends member. He was pumping him faster now.

"_Nnh!_ Dou..._Doumeki...! Ahh...Ahh...!_" Watanuki felt his release brinking. Doumeki gave him a few more thrusts, before they collapsed in a heap of entangled arms and legs, sweating and panting. Doumeki kept his weight hovering over Watanuki – so that he wouldn't crush him. But the shorter raven wanted the bodily contact, and tugged his boyfriend downward so that he was lying with his head on front of his shoulder.

_He could stay like this forever..._

**TT**

**(A.N: Nomnomnom, DouWata smex. I hope you're happy. –Glares at Ally because she demanded DouWata smex- I had my iPod on shuffle as I was writing...And this happened:**

**Me: -Writing DouWata smex-**

**iPod: -Song changes to "Innocence," by Avril Lavigne-**

**Me: -Facepalm-**

**R&R You creepers. I tried to hurry, but long chapter is long).**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**(A.N:** Oh you didn't think I was going to leave you with just that one piece of DouWata smex, now did you? Don't worry, you're not dreaming...I'm really double-posting. I'm giving you some drama in this chapter...And some fluff...And more smex...(KuroFai this time, nomnomnom!) I think you guys are kind of spoiled, XD! But I love you guys...You review my work, and motivate me to continue...And there's definitely more to come for this story! ** TT** means time passing, or scene changes – you know the drill. **R&R? I love you for it!)**

**TT**

He had finally finished his chapter, and now he was lying on his stomach on their bed.

It wasn't that he was tired really. He was just waiting for Fuuma to come back out of the bathroom. So, while he waited, he closed his eyes, and allowed his mind to carry him through his thoughts.

_He didn't like all of what he saw._

He'd argued with Fai and Subaru, because they had been off cliff jumping. Subaru had deserved Kamui's panic, so the younger male had taken it with stride. _But Fai..._

The blonde hadn't looked hurt, really. Just afraid – though Kamui didn't blame him. He knew that without that morning cup of coffee...He was cranky. _Murderous._ But Fai had taken the yelling easily. When Fuuma had showed up, he'd seemed to calm down – probably reassured by the fact that someone who dealt with the raging raven on a regular basis, was there.

He'd bit Fuuma's finger...Made him _bleed..._

He _really_ needed to work on controlling his morning rage.

Everyone had been good to him all morning – despite his rage. Fai had even cooked him breakfast. A very filling omelette. He suspected Fuuma must have had something to do with that – telling the blonde what his boyfriend would like.

He felt fingers in his hair, but he didn't move.

Why was everyone else so good to him, when he was being a _jerk?_ He couldn't handle mornings, but for whatever reason – Fuuma put up with him. Dealt with him having a fit. Made him some coffee, and sat with him until he was calm.

"Kamui?" That gentle voice was so _comforting..._

"Hm?" He kept his eyes closed. He was hurting deep down, because he was so cruel in the morning...But people still dealt with him..._Fuuma_ still dealt with him...

"Hey, are you alright?" He sounded concerned. The shorter male wanted to answer, but his voice had escaped him. He opened his eyes, and located his boyfriends face.

"Kamui...Look, if you're thinking about this morning...Then, _don't._ No one is mad at you..." Fuuma stroked his fingers through his boyfriends hair once more, before he pulled his hand away. Kamui saw the bandaged finger, and looked away.

"What? _This?_" He looked to the finger,

"Doesn't hurt anymore. I'd even bet money on it being basically _closed_ by tomorrow."

"..." Kamui didn't know what to say. He felt guilty, for hurting Fuuma. He hated himself, for being so...

He looked to his boyfriend. Fuuma was shirtless – which just gave Kamui full visual access to the scar that he'd created.

_He looked away again._

"Alright," Fuuma – hating the idea of his boyfriend being in pain – carefully scooped Kamui up into his arms, and set him in his lap – craddling him against his body.

"..."

"You, have got to stop blaming yourself. No one is perfect. You get angry in the morning, you can't help it."

"..." He was listening, but he couldn't force himself to respond.

"Aren't you the one who said that couples are bound to fight?"

"..."

"Kamui, really, I'm not hurt..."

"_Not hurt?_ Then I suppose that huge _scar_ across your chest didn't hurt either. I suppose the _glass_ hitting you with enough_ force_ to _cut you open,_ didn't _hurt you!_ And I suppose you were in the _hospital _because it didn't _hurt you!_ Because _I_ didn't _hurt you?_ Dammit Fuuma! I don't know how you stay so calm, _all the time!_ I've hurt you, more than once! And all I ever do _is hurt you_ when I'm with you-!"

"—_Stop it."_ His arms tightened around Kamui. He held him as close as he could, without hurting him.

"...Even now, you're being cautious of causing me any pain..." He covered his face with his hands,

"What's _wrong _with me, Fuuma? Why can't I just be _normal?_"

Fuuma chuckled at this, and nuzzled Kamui's hair,

"Are any of us _normal_ in this group?"

"The others aren't_ half_ _as bad_ as _I am_."

"You think _you're_ the worst off? Think about it...Kurogane was_ much_ _worse_ than _you_." His voice was light and teasing.

"Yeah, and then Fai showed up, and_ fixed_ him..." He trailed, thinking about the blonde once again. He uncovered his face.

"Ahh, your expression tells me that you're catching on. Out of all of us, you're _not_ the worst off. _Fai's_ got the _bad luck_...I think Kurogane might be the only thing holding that guy together. And even then, he's not on solid ground. He focuses on his friends and their issues, so that he doesn't have to worry about his. Whenever he thinks he's gotten his footing – he loses it all over again. We've witnessed it first hand, haven't we? It's like he's trying to walk on water, or on a tightrope. He dangles a lot, or even falls down...But he's convinced that he can make it through life, without depending on anyone...At least until something has the nerve to kill him."

"But he depends on Kurogane."

"Unintentionally. He doesn't realize that he's doing it."

"...He doesn't_ hit_ Kurogane..."

"He's hit him _once_...But mainly his power lies in his words. He gets away with saying anything that he feels...And Kurogane is still right there, trying to keep him."

"...Does Fai ever piss him off?"

"Sometimes - when they fight. Fai will get out of hand, and freak out...And Kurogane will get mad, but he'll keep near him, or chase him down and make him calm again..."

"...Fuuma?"

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I think that's why you get along so well with Fai. The way he gets when he's nervous, or angry...Is the same way you feel when you first wake up. _Unstable._ Of course, he always feels that way – subconsciously. He has separation anxiety too...From Kurogane. If he's too far away, for too long...Fai snaps. He gets nervous, and scared..."

"He's a wreck inside...But he plays it off _so well_..." Kamui looked away,

"He's still nicer than I am, and he's had it much worse than I have..."

"Now, I don't think you should call him _nicer._ He's definitely more _gentle_..." Fuuma teased, but Kamui didn't look his way.

"Kamui." His voice was low, and the shorter male couldn't help but to answer to his name. He looked.

Fuuma gripped his chin, and pressed him into a kiss. Kamui's first instinct was to melt into the males embrace. But for some reason, he couldn't move.

When Fuuma pulled back out of the kiss, he studied his boyfriends face,

"You know that I'm only teasing you. You're actually _very_ gentle...You only go after me when I do something that I shouldn't do."

"Fuuma _this_..." He traced a finger along the scar,

"Is not a punishment for what you did...It shouldn't be there at all...I hate myself more and more whenever I see it..."

"Kamui...Don't be so hard on yourself..."

Even as he spoke the words, his boyfriend detached himself from him, and got off of the bed. Kamui went directly to the glass balcony doors, and stared outside, at the stars. He didn't dare to open the doors...It was chilly out.

"People were only able to draw the constellations, because the stars had already found their place in the sky...Side by side. They were where they were meant to be," Fuuma spoke quietly, having joined his boyfriend at the balcony doors.

"Stars huh?" Kamui mused quietly,

"Sometimes I feel like a _falling star._ I'm hurtling my way through the sky too fast, and I can't see where I'm going, or where I'll land."

"A shooting star? If I remember correctly, you make wishes on shooting stars, don't you?"

Kamui didn't answer.

"So can I make a wish on you?"

Kamui still didn't answer, but the fingers of Fuuma's right hand, laced themselves together with the fingers of Kamui's right hand,

"Come back to bed, and lie down with me? It feels emptier when you're not with me, you know."

Kamui unlaced their fingers, only so that he could turn around and face his boyfriend. He buried his face in the males chest – his hair covering his eyes at the sides...

One hand traced the scar, while the other hand held onto one of Fuuma's hands. It didn't take the male long to realize that it was his bandaged finger.

It also didn't take him long to realize that Kamui was _crying._

"_Kamui..."_

"I'm like a path of _destruction!_ I hurt _everyone_ I get too close to...Whether it's verbally or physically..."

"Kamui, that's _not true._ You yelled at two people, because it was early and you were worried. Subaru was missing, and he's basically your only family."

"Subaru is like a brother to me...I call his Mom and Dad my Aunt and Uncle...The three of them are all that I have..."

"You're wrong," Fuuma sighed, kissing the top of his boyfriends head.

"..."

"You've got me too, don't you?"

"...You don't qualify as _family_...You're my boyfriend...That's _different_..."

Fuuma wasn't offended. He knew that Kamui was very honest and open – he spoke his mind, and Fuuma respected him for it.

"Kamui? Can I ask you something?" After asking the question, he kissed the top of his boyfriends head again.

"What?" Kamui still had his face buried in his boyfriends chest.

"Do you love me?"

"...Of course I love you..."

"Then, will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"...Will you marry me?"

Kamui froze. He pulled his head back, to look at his boyfriend through his tears. Fuuma was smiling slightly, but his eyes..._His eyes were serious._

"_...Fuuma..."_

The taller raven ran his thumbs under Kamui's eyes – wiping away tears.

"Should I take that as a _yes?_"

Kamui nodded slightly, unable to find his voice.

"...Good...Because I can't live without you, Kamui...I need you in my life, _forever_..."

"_...Fuuma..."_ The tears came back tenfold, as the taller male kissed his new _**fiancée.**_

Just when Kamui felt that his whole world was crumbling out beneath his feet...Fuuma was right there, pulling him back up to sturdier ground, and holding on to him as tightly as he could...

**TT**

"He was listening to the entire conversation you know."

"I know. Why do you think I let him pour his heart out in front of me like that? I knew Doumeki was listening." Fai smiled as he discarded his t-shirt, and hopped into bed.

"_Sneaky devil..."_ The raven murmured, shaking his head from side to side in disbelief.

"I love you too," Fai told him, laughing a bit,

"Sometimes I feel like I'm playing matchmaker or something. Watanuki was having boyfriend problems, so I helped him. Kamui was having problems, so I tried helping him too..."

"And what about _your_ problems?"

Fai rolled onto his side, and locked his gaze with that of his boyfriend,

"If I don't focus on my problems, then I'm happier. If I'm happier, then my friends are happier...And you too..."

Kurogane sighed and crossed the room, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

"And what about _you?_" Fai questioned, eyeing his boyfriend.

"What _about_ me?" The raven shrugged.

"You have problems too...Who do _you_ turn to?"

"...I don't turn to _anyone._ I have a _history_ Fai, and I'm not going to put it on your shoulders. You carry the weight of too many issues as it is."

"I told you about what happened to my twin...Why can't you tell me about what's bothering you?" He'd told him about his twins death...However, he hadn't told him about his true name. He couldn't do that...

"Because it doesn't bother me until I start thinking about it."

"But it's always there, subconsciously. Why don't you tell me? It's easier to bear something when you've spoken to someone else about it. Why not let it out to someone you _trust?_"

"Who says I _trust you?_" Kurogane's voice was teasing, and he wore a small smile. Fai grinned, knowing that the raven was just kidding, and wormed his way over to him, sprawling himself out on his stomach – in Kurogane's lap.

"I know you trust me," the blonde told him simply.

"I do. I just don't think that I should add onto the burdens you're carrying," as he spoke, he traced some of the tattoo lines on his boyfriends back – remembering what they were covering.

"I wouldn't consider it a _burden_," Fai murmured, turning himself to look at the raven,

"And what those guys did to me isn't a burden. They hurt me, they _attempted murder_...But it's _not_ a _burden._ It's just a crappy piece to my history."

"I don't want to be a bad part of your life."

"You're _not,_ Kergs. You're the _best_ part of my life." The blonde grinned, and then turned himself over fully so that he could lean up to kiss his boyfriend.

Kurogane kissed him back for a moment, before he pulled back. He repositioned the blonde, so that he was sitting in his lap.

"I'll tell you...On one condition..."

"Which would be...?"

"You explain the scars on your thighs."

"..." He'd hoped that he wouldn't notice those. But Kurogane had caught a glimpse of them the other day, and apparently, he'd been wondering about them ever since.

"...Remember how I said I'd been cutting for _two years,_ but that it didn't _look_ like it, because of the scars on my arms? There aren't a full two years worth of scars on my arms...But that's because not all of the scars are _on_ my arms..."

"..."

"I used to stab my thighs...It hurt, but it also felt good...It was a sick addiction that I didn't want to drop...Just like_ cutting_..."

Kurogane pressed his lips against Fai's, and kissed him deeply. The blonde was scarred along his entire body...Minus his head...But that was where all of his troubling thoughts happened. So he was just as scarred there as he was anywhere else.

"Why doesn't any of this _bother_ you?"

"It _does_ bother me...It doesn't bother me to see you...But what does bother me, is knowing that you're covered in scars, because people have hurt you."

"Some were self-inflicted..." Fai trailed.

"Because people were hurting you, and because you lost most of your family."

"...Hyuu~" He curled himself closer to the raven, loving his warmth.

"...So now you're expecting answers?"

"You promised." Fai reminded him gently.

"...I know. I just...I don't know where to _start_..." It bothered him. He didn't want to share his history with Fai...

He lifted him out of his lap, and set him on the bed. When he'd stood himself back up, he went to the closet, and riffled through things on the top shelf, before he finally found what he was looking for. He came back with the box in his hands, and set it on the bed, before he sat back down himself.

"Feel free to go through that. I can't tell you what happened myself...I don't know how..."

Fai positioned himself up against the headboard, resting amongst the pillows. Then, he tugged the box towards himself, and pulled off the lid. Occupying most of the room within the box was a photo album. Besides that there was a cd case with a cd inside, it had Kurogane's familiar scrawl on it: _One track: Monster._ There were also a few notes – also written in Kurogane's scrawl.

"You can go through it. Take things out..."

Fai nodded, and pulled out the cd case,

"What's monster?"

"It's a song."

"A song by _who?_"

Kurogane looked away. Fai set down the cd case, and pulled out the papers that he was seeing. Originally, he'd thought that they were notes...But now...Now he could see that they were something else entirely...

Drummers notes, guitarist notes, and lyrics...

_MONSTER,_ was written at the top of the page containing the lyrics. Off to the side it read:

_Drummer: Syaoran.  
Guitar # 1: Shogo.  
Guitar # 2: Kurogane.  
Vocals: Kurogane._

"...You play guitar?" Fai paused,

"More importantly...You _sing?_"

"Used to," the raven mumbled, not meeting his gaze.

Fai read over the lyrics in silence, liking the way they flowed. It made him think of his Father...

"Who wrote the lyrics?"

Kurogane didn't answer.

"You write your own music? This is good...I like it..."

"You haven't even heard the song."

"I know. But I like the way the lyrics flow." There were more songs, but Fai set the papers down, and set the cd case on top of them. Next, he pulled out the photo album.

When he flipped it open, he found an ultrasound, and – strung in through the binder locks – there was a silver locket. Fai's fingers traced it gently – as though it were fragile.

"May I, uhm...?"

Kurogane didn't look, but he knew what Fai was looking at.

"Yeah, go ahead."

Fai unclipped it from the confines of the book, and then clipped it back together. He held the heart shaped locket in his hands, and opened it.

At first, he thought that he was seeing Tomoyo and Kurogane – which confused him. But as he stared at the pictures, he realized that he was seeing Kurogane's parents. He closed the locket, and set it down on the cd case.

When he flipped the page of the photo album, he found a birth certificate.

"...You-oh?"

"...Please, _don't_ say that name." Kurogane's hands had formed tight fists.

"...That's your birth name...Isn't it?" Fai was surprised that he wasn't the only one lying about his name.

"...Yeah..."

The blonde murmured that he wouldn't say it anymore, and looked back to the photo album, flipping to the next page. This was where the photos began.

Photos of Kurogane as a baby, at the hospital, in his Mother's arms...She looked so much like Tomoyo...And in his Father's arms...Kurogane looked like his Father – basically identical. Fai shook away the thought.

There were also pictures of Kurogane in the arms of what appeared to be his Mother...But something was different...She looked like she was three months pregnant – which wasn't possible, obviously.

His understanding came when he flipped the page again, and found Kurogane in his Mother's arms, with the other woman sitting beside them.

"...Tomoyo's Mom...And your Mom...They were...?"

"Twins...Yeah...Ironic, isn't it?"

"Mm." He returned to the pictures. He got to see a bunch of his boyfriends ridiculous baby pictures, and some made him giggle. When he came across a naked one, showing off the ravens backside, Fai laughed,

"Nice ass."

Kurogane facepalmed.

The blonde liked seeing the young Kurogane, being his cute little self...Loving his Mother, as well as his Father...He watched him grow up, to have big red eyes, and the same spiky hair that he had now.

He looked so _happy..._

But then, sometime after Kurogane's seventh birthday, the pictures ended. Instead, there was a newspaper clipping.

**Seven Year Old Survives Murder Attempt ; Attacker & Victim's Family Found Dead.**

Fai looked to his boyfriend, before he pulled the clipping out carefully. There was a picture of seven year old Kurogane, with his face half-pressed against his Aunt – who was holding onto him. Beaneath the picture, it explained who was in the picture.

_Kurogane was in tears in the image._

Fai read in silence – not really noticing when the tears started rolling down his cheeks. All he knew was that he was reading a big moment in his boyfriends history. He was reading about the very thing that had upset him the other night...

Kurogane had been in the living room, underneath the coffee table – playing – when a man barged in. Kurogane's Father had recognized him as one _Fei Wong Reed_ – whom he began to confront. Fei Wong Reed shot Kurogane's Father twice in the chest. Kurogane's Mother then rushed into the room – having heard the shots. She was shot once –in the leg. The coffee table was flipped over, and Kurogane had sat up – terrified. Fei Wong Reed dropped the gun, and pulled out a knife, which he used to stab Kurogane's Mother in the heart.

Kurogane had grabbed the discarded gun – knowing that there were three bullets left. (He'd known because his Father was a police officer, and had taught him about the dangers of guns). When Fei Wong Reed tried to come after him, Kurogane fired all three shots...

He called his Aunt in a panic, and called for help...And then he curled up with his Mother and spoke to her until she died...

His Aunt had showed up with her husband, and they had pried him off of his dead Mother. The ambulance had showed up, and so had some police. When the story had been explained, Kurogane had gone to his Aunt's house to stay with her family.

Fai put the clipping back in its place. He put the locket back in the binder, and set everything back into the box. When he set the box on the floor, he crawled over to his boyfriend, and into his lap.

The blonde had thought that _he'd_ been hurt, when his Mother had died...Or when his twin went peacefully in his sleep...But Kurogane had gone through _much worse_..._Watching_ his Mother and Father die...Becoming a killer himself, at the age of _seven_...Though he wasn't put in any sort of cell, because it was _clearly_ self defense...

Fai cried against his boyfriend – who held him close, and tried to calm him. It seemed so backwards that it was Fai who needed the comforting, when it was Kurogane's past that had hurt him.

"Shh...Fai...Just breathe..."

"You should be the one crying right now," Fai murmured,

"You were only _seven_...It's not fair..."

"_Life's_ not fair..." He pressed a kiss to the blondes lips, and then pulled back, murmuring more words of comfort.

Fai clung to him as Kurogane shifted their position, so that they were lying down. The raven pulled the sheets up around them, holding his boyfriend close.

_Fai cried himself to sleep in the ravens arms._

**TT**

The blonde was up early the next morning. He could hear someone downstairs – again – and assumed that it was Subaru. He figured the male might want some company, so he carefully detached himself from his boyfriend – who woke up, still drowsy.

"Where are you going?"

"Sorry for waking you. I'm wide awake already, and I think I hear Subaru downstairs...I was going to keep him company until you were more awake...Is that okay?"

"Yeah, you just scared me."

"Sorry," Fai brushed a hand through the raven locks, and kissed the males forehead. Kurogane murmured that it was alright, and soon enough, he'd gone back to sleep.

Smiling, Fai got out of bed, and grabbed one of his t-shirts – throwing it on. He crept downstairs as quietly as he could – not wanting to wake the others.

However, upon entering the kitchen, he found Kamui. The male was trying to get the coffee machine brewing, while also attempting to cook. He had a nearly empty cup sitting on the counter, and by seeing the higher rim of the inside of it – Fai could tell that the male had had some coffee already. Which meant that he must have made himself a cup, and was now making more, for when the others started to wake up.

One machine was brewing away already, and now he was fumbling with the second machine.

He set down the kettle, and picked up his cup – drinking the remainder of his coffee. Then he seemed to realize that the food was burning, as it was sizzling...So he tried to move it with his right hand – as that was the hand that was free. He managed to burn himself in the process, and wound up knocking the food onto the floor. His glass shattered when it fell from his hand.

"Dammit!" He hissed, sinking to the floor.

Fai didn't speak and Kamui covered his face. The blonde simply plucked the half-cooked food into the garbage, and placed the pan in the sink. He then began picking up the broken glass.

"Just leave it, I'll clean it up," Kamui still had his face buried in his knees.

Fai didn't listen. He carefully picked up the pieces, and placed them into the trash. Then, he grabbed the first aid kit, and applied polysporin to Kamui's burn. The raven hissed at the contact, and Fai wrapped up his hand carefully. He put away the kit without speaking.

"So...What do you think the others would like for breakfast?"

"..."

"We can go shopping to pick up more bacon and eggs...And we'll buy breakfast today...Well, I'll buy it."

"Fai, that's too expensive..."

"I won a bet, remember? I have plenty of money to spend on breakfast! So, what do you think the others would like?"

"..."

"What's going on in here?" Subaru questioned, stepping into the room.

"Ah, Subaru, please don't step any further. Let me sweep the floor quickly first, to make sure I got all of the glass." Fai grabbed the broom, and began sweeping as he spoke.

"Glass, did something happen down here?"

"Kamui dropped a cup by accident. And burnt his hand a little bit." Fai finished sweeping, and swept his findings into the dustpan, and then into the garbage.

"Kamui! Are you okay?" Subaru rushed forwards, and hugged the male he considered a brother.

"I'm fine..." He kept his wrapped up hand tucked between his chest and his knees. His other hand was resting across the top of his right knee.

"Kamui...What's this?" Subaru gestured to the silver ring on Kamui's finger.

"...It's uh...Uhm..." His ears lit up, as did his cheeks.

Fai crouched down now, to see what all the fuss was about.

"...You're engaged?"

Kamui's blush deepened.

"Really?" Subaru was excited,

"_CONGRATULATIONS!"_

He wrapped his arms around Kamui's neck, and hugged him tightly. In his excitement however, he managed to accidentally bump his head on one of the cupboards.

"...Ow..."

"Are you okay Subaru?" Kamui sounded worried.

The younger male pulled back and rubbed the small pink spot on his head,

"I got so excited that I bumped my head..."

Fai and Kamui both laughed.

**TT**

The day was filled with laughter all throughout the house...Whenever Kurogane entered a room – people laughed. They couldn't help it.

_He was wearing a dress._

"How's your pride?" Fuuma questioned, trying his hardest not to laugh.

"What pride?" The raven grumbled, looking away.

"Aww, poor guy. Lost his pride!"

"Maybe I can earn some of it back by kicking your ass."

"Very intimidating coming from a man in a _dress_."

Fai held onto his boyfriend, to keep him calm. It didn't help that he was laughing away himself. Tomoyo had been taking pictures and videos all day.

So, when nightfall hit, Kurogane stormed into his shared room, and pulled the dress off. He stashed it in the closet, and slammed the closet door – not wanting to see the damned thing.

Fai came in after him, and locked their door. He turned off the light – because the bedside table light was on. Kurogane had gone into their private bathroom, so Fai decided that now was as good a time as any. He tore off his shirt and went through the closet – looking for one of Kurogane's dress shirts. When he found one, he put it on – liking the way it dangled all around him – covering the areas that his boxers currently covered.

He was changing _that_ too.

When all of the clothes were discarded – minus the dress shirt, he hurried into the bed. He pulled the blankets up all around him – covering himself.

When Kurogane stepped out of the bathroom in only his boxers, Fai tried his hardest not to picture what lay beneath the material. Not because the idea disturbed him...But because his nerves were rattling through him like _crazy._

"There's my _manly man_," the blonde teased.

Kurogane glared. He turned off the bedside lamp, and climbed into bed.

"Remind me to _never_ bet against you again."

"Aww Kergs, don't be mad."

The raven didn't answer at first, but then he sighed and turned to face his boyfriend. His eyes adjusted to the scant amount of moonlight that came in through the balcony doors. It illuminated Fai's features, and the fact that the male was wrapped up in blankets...

"Fai...C'mere. If you're cold, then you should already know that you don't have to wrap yourself up in a blanket cocoon..."

"I'm not cold."

"Then, why are you wrapped up like that?"

Fai pulled his arms free of his cocoon, and touched his boyfriends face. He rolled onto his stomach – to hide what was building up beneath the sheets, and leaned over to kiss his boyfriend.

When the raven pulled back out of the kiss, he was watching the blonde in confusion.

"Fai? What are you wearing?"

"One of your dress shirts."

"With boxers? Sounds like a weird combo."

"...No boxers. Just the dress shirt."

"..."

"...I thought you might want to restore some of your pride..." Fai's voice was flirtacious, and in the moonlight – he looked like an angel.

_An angel with lustful eyes._

"...Fai..." Kurogane murmured the name – before he took over the kiss.

Fai wound up on his back, with the raven on top of him. Kurogane's member hardened slightly when he felt Fai's growing arousal against his stomach. He kissed him deeper, rolling his hips – just to test things out.

"_Ahh..."_ Fai's moan was quiet, but it was still loud enough to catch the ravens attention. And the attention of his own growing erection...

He swept his kisses over to Fai's neck – leaving his lips parted with moans of anticipation. Kurogane undid the dress shirt with his teeth – which just increased the volume of the moans.

He tested his kisses on the way back up Fai's stomach and chest...He made mental notes of the places that made him go _absolutely crazy..._

When he'd recaptured his boyfriends lips, he allowed one of his hands to trace the exposed flesh of the blondes body.

The part of his brain that wasn't focused on Fai's moans, or his smooth skin, and sweet kisses...Was wondering what the hell they were going to _use..._

"Enough," Fai finally murmured, forcing Kurogane to sit back, so that he could sit himself up. The blonde pulled the dress shirt off and chucked it – not caring where it landed.

"Lose the boxers already," he managed to say it just loud enough for Kurogane to hear. As the raven did as he was instructed, Fai dug underneath his pillow, and emerged victoriously with a bottle.

Blushing like crazy, he handed it to Kurogane.

"...How long have you...?"

"_Please_ don't ask. Just..._Just do it_..."

Kurogane's arousal gave a throb of agreement, and he accepted the bottle. He poured some of the lubrication onto his fingers, and motioned for Fai to come closer. When he had him in a good enough position, he pressed one digit into the males entrance, and the blonde winced – tightening.

"You have to ease up, or it's going to hurt more."

"I don't see _you_ with a finger in your ass. So, shut-up."

Kurogane chuckled, leaning forward to tease one of Fai's nipples with his tongue.

"_Ahh..."_ His body eased up slightly. The more the raven attacked his upper half, the more his body relaxed.

Kurogane began working him...Adding the other digits with timed precision...

Fai reached the point where he needed to be taken completely. And he let his boyfriend know it...

"_Kurogane Suwa_...If you do not take me, _right now_..._I swear,_ there _will_ be consequences."

The raven removed his fingers from the blondes entrance – chuckling a bit.

"Don't laugh at m-"

His sentence was cut off by Kurogane's lips. Fai moaned as the raven eased him into lying down.

When the raven relinquished the blondes swollen lips from his hold...The familiar blue eyes narrowed.

"_Ass_."

"Getting there," came the teasing murmur, as Kurogane took Fai into a kiss once more.

Fai felt the pressure at his entrance. When had Kurogane applied lubrication to _more_ than just his _fingers?_ _He hadn't noticed._ He'd been too busy being caught in the high of being _touched..._

One thrust had the raven buried inside of him, and Fai gasped. He whimpered. It hurt..._Of course it hurt_...He was a _virgin,_ it was _bound _to_ hurt..._

"Are you alright?"

"Mmhm," it was a whimper. He was okay...But it hurt like hell.

"...Fai?"

"Hm?" He had his eyes screwed shut tightly.

"...You're a virgin...Aren't you?"

"...I...I don't think the term applies at this point..."

Kurogane sighed, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. When they parted, Fai swallowed hard,

"Kergs...Move..."

"...You sure?"

"Yes." He was sure enough to know that if they didn't get moving, then it would hurt _longer..._

The raven complied with the order, and pulled out, and then pushed back in. Fai was delighted to discover that – although it still hurt – the pain was subsiding.

"..._Don't stop_..."

Kurogane's arousal throbbed its agreement yet again, as the raven began moving with a consistent movement. Fai's moans filled the air as the raven took him through a series of things that he could barely understand through his haze...

The pounding thrusts, his boyfriend buried deep inside of him..._His lips, his taste_..._Everything_ was Kurogane, and nothing else _mattered..._

"_Ahh_...Kergs..."

Fai moved with him, and against him, his body heating up to Kurogane. His moans filled the air, and he knew it drove the raven onward, motivated him to keep pushing, to keep making him absolutely _senseless..._

"Kergs..._Nnh_..."

As the male moved in and out, Fai gasped, and moaned...Every movement was precise, and yet spontaneous...And nothing else mattered.

_Just the two of them, locked up in their own little world._

Kurogane's body was powerful against Fai's, and the blonde clung to him with slender arms, loving every second of this madness that had taken over them.

"_Ahh_...Kergs..." He felt a new tingling...It started to pool into his stomach, and he understood what was happening. His body was reaching a breaking point.

He gave the raven a warning, and Kurogane's reaction was to reach down with one hand, to pump Fai in rhythm to his thrusts.

"_Ahh...Oh god Kergs...Ahh..."_ All Fai could feel were his boyfriends thrusts, and his warm hand wrapped around his erection – pumping him. His skin was soft, but strong, and he pulled him dangerously close to the edge.

It was within a few more thrusts that they both found their release.

Kurogane collapsed next to Fai – not wanting to crush him. Both of them were panting, and the blonde groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"My ass..._Jeeze,_ that's going to take some getting used to." He curled up to his boyfriend.

"...Sorry..."

"Don't be. I knew it would hurt. It's going to hurt for a while. But eventually you get to the point where the pain doesn't last as long..."

"You know, the way you were acting earlier, I thought that maybe you were..."

"...Used to it? Well, I'm not. I was a virgin until tonight – thank you for curing me of that," Fai chuckled, and then squirmed,

"Not used to this either...Maybe it comes from being a clean freak, but could we, uh...?"

"You go to the washroom, and throw on some boxers while you're at it...I'll change the sheets. It's okay – I know how you feel."

Fai carefully removed himself from the bed, and rushed to the washroom. Kurogane wasn't really dirty...So he grabbed his boxers and tugged them on. Then he changed the sheets.

Fai emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of the ravens boxers. He also put the males dress shirt back on, before he climbed into bed.

Kurogane opened the doors to the balcony slightly.

Fai was asleep as soon as he was in the ravens arms.

**TT**

**(A.N: So, did anyone cry at Fuuma's proposal? I felt like it should be simple, and sweet...I hope it worked. –Crosses her fingers- And GAH. I have so much trouble writing sex scenes – please forgive me. XD It's not that it bothers me (I love me some boy love), it's just that I get flustered trying to write it down...Oh well, I hope you liked it anyways...R&R? Appreciate the love you guys!**

**P.S: Songs I listened to while writing the last two chapters: **

**What If by Safety Suit.**

**I Dare You To Move by Switchfoot.**

**Pictures Of You by The Last Goodnight.**

**Cry by Mandy Moore.**

**Yours To Hold / Monster – both of which are by Skillet.)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**(A.N:** It's been close to 3 weeks, and I decided to update once again! Yay! Kind of angsty this chapter again – you have been warned. _**Words written like this, are song lyrics.**_ **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. **R&R? Appreciate the love!)**

**TT**

Another three days had passed since then.

Three wonderful days, of campfires and swimming. Of roasting marshmallows, and cliff jumping, and singing...Of laughing until it hurt, of cooking meals, and even one night of ordering pizza.

It was three days of cuddling, and picture taking. Three marvellous days that made it feel like summer might never end.

And it was on the fourth day – a Saturday – that Chi sent a text message to Fai. It was on this fourth day that he read her message, snuck out of bed, and got dressed. It was on this day that Hideki, Chi, and Fai snuck out of the cottage, leaving behind a simple note;

"_We have something important to do today – we'll be back later."_

And it was on this day that they stopped only once to purchase something that they felt was important. And then they continued on their way to their destination.

Hideki was driving, and Chi was sitting up front with him. Fai was sprawled out in the backseat, with one hand holding his purchase over his chest, and the other hand clutching a hold of his cell phone.

_Today was important._

**TT**

Chi poked him to grab his attention, and he shifted his blue eyed gaze to her.

"Hey sleeping beauty," she teased, but her eyes weren't laughing the way he thought they'd be.

"I wasn't asleep," he murmured, watching her smile.

"We just got back from the visit. Do you want us to wait for you here, or do you want us to go away for a little bit?"

"You guys can go," he answered gently,

"We both have our cell phones on us. I'll text you when I'm ready. You guys go ahead and get something to eat."

"You sure?" She knew he was, but she wanted to be positive.

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'll be a while here."

"Okay...And Fai?"

"Hm?" He set his gaze on her once more.

"...He was here..."

He wasn't surprised that the male had been there already...Yesterday had been an important day too. But they never came here on that day, for the fear that they would meet with him.

Still, the fear travelled through him quickly.

If he'd been here already, then that meant that Fai was in for an unwanted visit soon. Which meant that his happy start-to-summer, might turn ugly, very quickly.

_He hoped it wasn't so._

**TT**

He'd stuffed his cell phone into his pocket, and now walked with his purchase. He walked in silence. Hideki had already driven away – taking Chi with him. Now Fai was alone.

_And yet, he was surrounded by people._

Of course, none of these people were moving...Or _breathing_ for that matter.

He heard the grounds gentle scrape beneath his shoes, and the leaves that he stepped on, padded his footsteps. He didn't stop until he located her. She was standing sturdy and had been graced with the presence of a bouquet of lilies, as well as a bouquet of red roses.

The lilies were from Chi, and the roses...

He kneeled down in front of her, and set down one of the bouquets of white roses that he was carrying.

Smiling, despite his sadness, he greeted her in a gentle voice,

"Hi Mom."

He spoke to her tombstone is a gentle voice. Told her about Chi's engagement, and then amended saying that she probably knew that already. He told her about each and every one of his friends, about Kurogane – though he left out some of the unnecessary details.

He told her about the new house, and the summer cottage. Told her all about the past year. And when he felt he'd said it all, he stood. The wind rustled around him, and he bid her farewell, and carried his second bouquet of white roses with him, as he moved a little ways away – to his next stop.

He set down the bouquet – this tombstone was decorated with the same arrangement of flowers as the last – and then he plopped himself down, taking a seat.

"...Hey Fai..."

The wind rustled. The grass swayed, and his hair tickled his face.

_He was listening then._

"I have so many things to tell you...I grew again! You'd be much taller now...If you were still..." He cleared his throat, and changed the topic,

"I'm doing well at school. Taking classes that fit my needs, and wants...As well as some of the mandatory stuff." A cold breeze made him shiver, and then he laughed,

"Alright, alright. I won't talk about school, I'm sorry."

The breeze became gentle and warm once again, so he continued. He told his brother all about his friends. He gave more detail this time, because there were some things a Mother was just_ not_ meant to hear...But a brother? _A twin?_ Well, maybe you could share some of these things with him.

He talked to him about the new house...The purple room, the stars...He told him what Fuuma had told him about the stars and constellations. He told him about the summer cottage and the cliff jumping – though there was another cold breeze for that one.

"Oh come on, you would have done the same thing," he argued to the wind – which died down, and warmed up again, as if agreeing. He could almost hear his twin: _"Yeah, you're right. I would have."_

"Besides, Chi and Sakura gave me hell for it already. Oh, that reminds me! Chi got engaged to Hideki!" There was a quick gust then, but it was warm,

"I know! Surprised me too! But I'm happy for her." He smiled, and traced the name on the tombstone. The name everyone referred to him by, and the name that he still wrote on all of his school papers.

"Hey Fai?" He paused, and then sighed,

"I met the most _amazing_ guy..." A warm breeze prompted him to continue,

"His name's Kurogane. He's big, and strong...He's powerfully built, and he cares...He cares about me more than anything else...He has a bit of a temper, and sometimes he's thick headed, but sometimes I am too. And even when he's raging in anger – which is extremely rare, by the way – he still would never, _ever_ hurt me. He beat up Mikail, too. Threatened his life..." The blonde laughed, and shook his head,

"He's a real _tough guy_...But he's still a good guy. I love him..._More than anything_...Well, except for you, Mom, and Chi...Dad hasn't been around in this past year...But he came here, to see you, and to see Mom...And something tells me he'll come back to see me. And we both know how_ that_ will go over..."

A cold breeze stopped him, and he sighed,

"Right, I know. More about the boy, and less about the _jackass._ Kurogane is...I can't explain him to you Fai...You two probably would have fought now and then...I mean,_ I_ fight with him now and then...But _you,_ you wouldn't have backed down – at all, _ever._ You might have intimidated him slightly too...Looking like me, and acting like he does," he laughed at the thought, and pulled his knees to his chest,

"He's tall...And that's an understatement. I'm only up to his shoulders...He's well-built, but I won't say that he's buffed out. He's tan, and he's got short, spiky, black hair, and red eyes...Yeah, red. I know, it's rare. He's usually scowling, but it's pretty much permanent. He's got a bad past, you see..." The blonde sighed,

"His parents were murdered in front of him, and then Kurogane himself shot the murderer. He was only _seven_..." The breezes died down completely, and the blue eyed male watched the tombstone for a moment longer,

"He doesn't talk to anyone about it. And I haven't told too many people about my illness. I mean, Kurogane knows – it wouldn't be fair to keep it from him. The fact that I'm dying a little more every day...And Sakura knows...And Watanuki, and Doumeki...I think Syaoran might know by now too...I know Tomoyo does...Anyway-" He was cut off by his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, and flipped it open – reading the name. He closed it again, and stuffed the phone back into his pocket,

"Anyway, as it turns out, I'm not the only one who's lying about their name. Kurogane's name isn't actually Kurogane. It's _You-oh._ But I never call him that. Just like Chi never calls me Yuui. Not even when she's mad as hell. She still calls me _Fai D. Flourite_...And I haven't told Kurogane about my name yet...Maybe I will, but I'm hoping that I don't have to." He pulled his phone out, and ignored the missed phone call alert. He sent out a text to his sister, about being ready. She sent one back, saying they'd be five minutes.

He stayed seated as he continued his conversation with his brother.

**TT**

"We're getting some more coffee...Do you want breakfast, or anything?" Chi questioned, looking back to her brother – who was staring at his cell phone.

"I'm not hungry...But I think I might have a cup of coffee..."

"You only drink coffee when something's really eating at you...What's wrong?"

"It's been four years..." The blonde murmured, as they pulled into the drive-thru. He knew that he could get away with lying today, and hiding behind that for now...But tomorrow, he would have to pick himself back up again.

_He'd have to be strong all over again..._

Chi passed him a hot, thick paper cup.

"Double-double," she murmured.

He nodded, and thanked her. Double-double; two sugars, and two creams. The only way he'd take his coffee. Sweetened, but not ridiculously so, and smooth to the taste.

He held the cup in his hands, and waited for it to cool down.

**TT**

"Look, they're back!" Fuuma announced the arrival, and offered out a wave.

Chi waved back, with a small smile. Hideki nodded.

"Hey wait...Where's Fai?" Now the tall raven looked confused, as he realized that the blonde was missing.

"He'll be back later. He was feeling kind of sick, so we took him home. He has his car there, so he figures he'll just drive himself back – he knows the way." As Chi said it, she looked to Kurogane briefly, and then she set her gaze back to Fuuma.

"When's he coming back?" Kurogane took a turn to ask his question.

"He said to give him a couple of hours – just in case. He's going to text me before he heads back."

**TT**

Sure enough, the blonde did text his sister. He also showed up in his black Mercedes, with the windows down, and a four trays of coffee – plus one tea – balanced nearby.

No one knew _how the hell_ he managed to do it.

His sister was waiting for him when he got there, so he asked her to help him carry the drinks back to the group. She took the top two trays and watched him carefully. He stepped out, hit the locks, put the windows up, grabbed his two trays, and a lit cigarette, and closed the car door.

"Smoking? _Really_ Fai?"

"You know I only do _this_...When I'm _really_ bothered," he muttered, heading back towards the group.

"Yeah, which makes me wonder what's bothering you. This goes beyond Mom and our brother...Is it about Dad?"

"Sort of..." He shrugged, and continued with walking.

"Did he contact you?" She looked worried.

"Not yet," another shrug.

"Then you're smoking because something else is wrong...Tell me what it is. I'm your sister, I deserve to know..."

"I'll let _you_ know, when_ I_ know," he sighed, as they approached the group.

"Let her know what?" Fuuma questioned – surprised to see him back.

"Whether or not I got the right drinks for everyone! I think I did!" Fai sang, sitting down. He un-stacked his two trays, and started setting up the drinks. He handed Fuuma a cup, and the raven noticed the unfinished cigarette in Fai's other hand.

"Wait...You _smoke?_"

"..._Rarely._ Just when I'm _really _stressed out..." The blonde shrugged, deeming his answer suitable,

"Chi, one of those is yours...The teabag is in the empty space of the top tray."

"Alright."

"Wait, what's stressing you out?" Fuuma questioned, watching the blonde as he waved to the others. Fai chucked the unfinished cigarette into the fire pit, after breaking it in half. There wasn't a fire yet, but he figured it'd be a good way to get rid of his cigarette butts.

"Just some things. I think my Dad might be coming back around soon...And because I'm not allowed to _panic_...I'm stressing out instead...And today has just been really hard so far..."

"What's wrong?" Kamui questioned, accepting his cup of coffee as he joined the group.

"Fai-san, are you okay?" Watanuki questioned as he appeared with Doumeki.

Soon the whole gang had formed once again. Everyone was sitting with their respective partners – minus Tomoyo, who had plopped down between Chi and Sakura - and everyone had their drinks in front of them.

Kurogane kissed the side of his boyfriends head upon seeing him, and then questioned him with his eyes - about why Fai had coffee.

The blonde smiled softly, and took a drink from his coffee cup.

"I didn't know that you were a coffee drinker Fai..." Kamui spoke up again.

"I'm not. I drink coffee when I'm stressed out."

The others gave him a look that urged him to continue. He didn't speak. He just took another drink from his cup.

"Fai..._Tell them_..." Chi murmured.

"Tell us what?" Watanuki looked confused.

Fai reached into his pocket, and pulled out his cigarettes. He slipped one between his lips, and flicked his lighter open.

"Since when do you smoke?" Sakura questioned, bewildered.

"I don't."

"And he's not going to _start_," Kurogane muttered, pulling the lit cigarette away. He snapped it in half, and chucked it into the fire pit.

Fai's eyes narrowed into a glare – which he fixed on the raven.

"I don't smoke. It's only when my stress levels are skyrocketing. Trashing my cigarettes isn't going to help me calm down." He took his coffee with him as he stood up. He carefully lit another cigarette, and took a long drag from it, before he exhaled the smoke.

"If anyone gets cancer, it's my fault, and I apologize. Feel free to blame me. Chi, maybe you can tell them what's wrong," he added the last bit, in hopes that Kurogane would stay sitting – because he looked like he was about to get up.

_It worked, he stayed sitting._

Fai wandered away – back towards his car. Everyone watched him walk all the way back – half expecting him to go into the cottage. But instead, he climbed onto the hood of his car – leaned his back against the windshield, and continued to smoke.

Chi sighed.

The others turned their focus to her.

"...It's been four years..."

"Four years?" Subaru questioned, seeking expansion.

"...Four years ago yesterday...Our Mother died of cancer...And four years today...Our brother died..."

After saying the words, most of the group watched as Fai took another drag from his cigarette.

"He died of some unnamed disease, right? That must have been hard on you guys...And I mean...Fai must_ hate_ looking in the mirror..." Kamui murmured knowingly.

"He gets to see himself age, while his brother will never pass the age of fourteen," Fuuma agreed quietly.

"That's not enough though...He's drinking coffee,_ and_ smoking. Stress shows in him drinking coffee...It has to be _worse_ if he's _smoking_..." Kurogane interrupted, sounding irritated.

"Might be the fact that we saw flowers on their tombstones when we went to the cemetery today," Chi murmured, taking a drink from her tea.

"Flowers? From who?" Watanuki's question was innocent enough.

"I've got a guess," Fuuma muttered, looking back to Fai.

"His Father," Kurogane growled, also throwing his gaze back to the blonde.

Chi nodded,

"Yeah. Dad always visits the graves on the anniversary of our Mother's death. We wait until the next day – the anniversary of our brother's death. It's an unspoken rule. But there's not a doubt in my mind that he's going to come around sometime soon. Yeah, maybe he'll wait until school starts back up...But maybe not. He's unpredictable that way."

Sakura unconsciously gripped her boyfriends hand tighter. Syaoran ran a reassuring thumb across the back of her hand.

Watanuki looked disturbed, and Doumeki's eyes had hardened. Seishiro's face remained fairly neutral, but it was evident that he didn't like the scenario. Subaru looked worried – as did Tomoyo...Shogo glared at nothing, and Primera's face turned sad. Kamui clenched up, and Fuuma – glaring himself – tried to calm him by running his hand along his back.

Kurogane's scowl deepened, but his hands remained steady.

"Let him come," the deep voice muttered,

"He can't get close to him. What's there to be afraid of? What makes _any of you_ think that he'll get past _me?_" Kurogane was so sure of himself. Chi sighed,

"Sadly, if Dad tells Fai to come out to meet him...Fai _will._ If he kicks his ass, Fai will lie, and say he fell down the stairs, or encountered some bullies...Whatever fits the bruising."

"Well I know when he's lying. And I'll know who hurt him – if it comes to that," the raven countered.

Chi just shook her head,

"Take him to court, and Fai will deny it all. He'll claim that his Father never laid a hand on him. He'll _defend him,_ if he needs to."

"_Why?"_ Everyone wanted the answer to that one.

"Because he's scared of him...And he wouldn't want Dad hurting anyone else when it's not necessary..."

"He can't hurt other people though! Even if Fai denies it, we could take him to court if he hurt any of us!" Watanuki argued.

"Would you still take him to court, if he threatened to kill his son?" Chi half-whispered.

_Silence took over the group._

"But...He _can't_..." Watanuki murmured, stunned.

"He will. If he feels it's necessary...He _will_," Chi spoke up again, sounding frustrated.

Fuuma pulled his cell phone out and flipped it open. He didn't speak, but he showed the message to Kamui – who shook his head and went to sit beside Subaru. Fuuma understood that the male was in a bad mood – due to the news – and wanted to stay behind. So he got up himself, and returned his cell phone to his pocket. He took his coffee with him as he walked away.

"Where are you going?" Kurogane questioned.

"I've been summoned," Fuuma chuckled, as he continued to walk away.

**TT**

"So. What terrible things are being said about my Father?" Fai questioned, when he heard the males footsteps nearby.

"Basically that he's a total prick who needs a serious ass beating," Fuuma answered, shrugging.

"Hmm, I see." There was a moment of silence between the two,

"Would Kamui mind terribly if I kidnapped you for a bit?"

He listened to the sound of the male texting as he spoke. There wasn't a verbal answer at first, until Fuuma's phone buzzed – signalling a vibration.

"He says it's fine by him. Where are we going, anyway?"

Fai rolled off the hood of his car, and put his cigarette butt into his empty coffee cup,

"Groceries. We need some more."

**TT**

"And here I thought this would be an urgent grocery mission!" Fuuma teased, looking to the four bags of food that they were carrying.

"It doesn't look like much, but it's more than what it appears to be. We've got a lot of breakfast supplies, and dinner supplies...And we can make s'mores now too! And we got more milk..." Fai laughed as they exited the store.

"And a load of tic tacs," Fuuma added.

"Hey, I needed some...And then I wondered if the others would want any...And it turned into a feast!"

"A feast of one calorie breath mints!"

Fai laughed as he set his bags down in the car's trunk. This was what he loved about Fuuma. One of the many things, in fact. Even when things were dark in the blondes world, the raven haired male made things brighter. He knew that he was dying to know about what was causing Fai to become a chain-smoker, but he didn't ask, and that kept the blue eyed male at ease.

When the trunk was closed, Fai looked to Fuuma, and looked to his cigarettes,

"Do you mind if I-?"

Fuuma shook his head; _no_. The blonde smiled, feeling grateful, and the two climbed into the car.

**TT**

"Ohhh, I love this song!" Fai cheered, turning up his radio, he allowed the music to blast through the car, and out the windows.

He didn't sing the opening, as he tapped out the end of his cigarette, before tucking it above him – in the cars sun-blocking flap.

But after the guitar solo, he jumped right in,

"_**You're sick, of feeling numb.**_

_**You're not, the only one.**_

_**I'll take you by the hand,**_

_**And I'll show you a world that you can understand...**_

_**This life, is filled with hurt,**_

_**When happiness, doesn't work.**_

_**Trust me, and take my hand.**_

_**When the lights go out, you will understand~**_

_**Pain! Without love!**_

_**Pain! I can't get enough!**_

_**Pain! I like it rough,**_

'_**Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.**_

_**Pain! Without love!**_

_**Pain! I can't enough!**_

_**Pain! I like it rough,**_

'_**Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all..."**_

"Morbid much?"

Fai grinned and agreed before the song kicked back in, and he went right back to singing.

**TT**

"We're back!" Fuuma called.

"And we brought food!" Fai chimed in, setting his bags on the table.

Kamui slipped into the kitchen and waited for Fuuma to set his bags down. Once the taller of the two had done so, Kamui offered out a smile.

Fuuma wrapped him up in his arms within seconds,

"Hey...I missed you..."

"I missed you too," Kamui murmured against his boyfriends neck,

"Did you two have fun?"

"Yeah. We got a bunch of stuff to cook over the fire...And a few things we'll need pans for...And a bunch of tic tacs..."

"Tic tacs?"

"Fai has a fetish."

"Stop spreading lies!" Fai tried to scold him, but he was laughing. He was in the middle of emptying out the bags.

**TT**

"Alright. See how Kamui went right to Fuuma?" Chi questioned quietly from her position next to the raven,

"And he wasn't jealous of Fai...And he didn't start a fight with him...He just smiled, and got a hug...Now, being as the roles are reversed in your scenario...You might want to be the one to do the hugging...Reassure him and what not..."

"You're so funny," the raven muttered.

"You say that, but you haven't moved yet."

Kurogane sighed, swallowed down his jealousy, and stepped forwards – just as Fai was telling Fuuma not to spread his lies.

The raven wrapped his arms around the blondes waist, and Fai placed one of his hands over the arms on his waist.

"How was shopping?"

The blonde swallowed before he answered,

"Good. We got more breakfast food...And some other stuff for lunches, or dinners, or whatever..."

"Oh..."

"And we got marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, so we can make s'mores!"

"Sounds good," the raven murmured, pressing his face against the pale flesh of his boyfriends neck.

"And we got tic tacs."

"...Why tic tacs?"

"So that I can do this..." Fai freed himself from his boyfriends hold, and turned to face him. He leaned up, pressing the raven into a kiss.

Kurogane was taken by surprise by the blondes actions, but he didn't argue. He kissed him back, melding their mouths together for a few brief moments. He could tell that Fai had recently had some of the previously mentioned tic tacs, because he tasted of mint.

"...I don't quite get why you think you need tic tacs to be able to do _that_..."

"...Well, judging by your reaction, they worked. I taste like mint, and no longer like _cigarettes_."

"Ah...So that's what you were going after..."

Fai smiled, and turned back to the groceries.

**TT**

**(A.N:** Alright, I'm ending the chapter on this note. I would have posted this the other day...But I ended up watching War of the Worlds for the first time ever in full...I don't know how I feel about it...It's just...It's really weird. And then I was distracted by things that increased your intellectual capacity...You know, The Simpsons, and Family Guy...-shot- But hey, at least it's up, and there's another one underway. **R&R?)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**(A.N:** Oh you guys are spoiled, lol. _**"Words written like this, are song lyrics".**_ _"Words written like this; represent a memory."_ **WARNING: OOC** (big time, but I think you'll understand why). **ALSO CAPS LOCK WARNING!** I got a little crazy with it, but it was kind of necessary! ** TT** means time passing or scene changes. **R&R? Love you guys for it!)**

**TT**

He usually didn't sneak around in the way that he had that morning.

But Fai had been acting weird. And the blonde had left his cell phone unattended. That alone was unusual enough. But then there was all of the coffee drinking, as well as the consistent smoking...

He was worried about the male, because he seemed to be so stressed out...

And now, he knew why.

He set the males cell phone down on the table, just as the blondes car pulled back up near the cottage. He heard the male come inside, and kick off his shoes. He watched as he set down four trays off coffee – and one tea. Watched him un-stack them. Listened as he murmured something about not realizing he'd forgotten his cell phone at the cottage.

_Listened to him questioning his name._

"Kamui? Are you okay? Kamui?"

He felt it flowing through him then. _Hurt and anger_...It flowed through his veins, and pulsed with every increasing beat of his heart.

The others were at the beach already, some were probably cliff-jumping...And he wondered how many of them _already knew._

"Kamui?"

He knew that none of them knew what he knew now.

Fai outstretched a hand to the shorter male, only to find himself on the floor of the kitchen. Kamui had grabbed a hold of him, and knocked him over.

"Ow! Kamui! What the-?"

"—WHEN DID YOU PLAN ON TELLING US?"

Fai stared up at the raven haired male. He had found out, apparently, about his illness...But Fai wasn't sure _how much_ he knew.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, plastering his big, fake smile onto his face.

"Don't play dumb, Fai! You told us about your twin, and you told us what he killed him! So how many of the others know that _you're_ dying _too?_" He was shaking.

"...Chi, Hideki, Kurogane, Tomoyo, Watanuki, Doumeki, Sakura, and possibly Syaoran..." He recited the names quietly.

"AND WHEN DID YOU PLAN ON TELLING THE _REST_ OF US?"

"..."

"And when were you planning on telling those who _do_ know, what you know _now?_"

Fai's eyes grew as realization dawned on him. He'd left his cell phone behind, and there was a voice mail message on it...One he _didn't_ want the others to _hear..._

"DAMMIT FAI! WERE YOU JUST GOING TO_ DIE_ ON US WITHOUT _AT LEAST_ TELLING THE REST OF US THAT YOU WERE _SICK?_" As Kamui yelled it, he picked up a plate, and threw it so that it hit the fridge.

_It shattered on impact._

Fai's eyes widened even more so than before. Kamui was shaking, and he began throwing more glass. He made sure to throw it at the fridge – because then the glass _couldn't_ hit the blonde.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE SICK?" Another glass hit the fridge.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME KNOW THAT YOU WERE _DYING?_" Another plate...

"WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US?"

"KAMUI! What the _hell_ is going on in here?" Fuuma's voice burst in on the screams. He'd just come back to the cottage to see what was taking the two so long to get down to the water – he'd seen Fai's car pull up near the cottage, but the blonde had never come back outside. Now the taller male tried to get a hold on his fiancée – who thrashed his way out of his grip.

"WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO...TO...To...to..." The male couldn't form his question, as his shoulders shook, and his hands covered his face. His body sagged to the floor as he fell to his knees.

Both males could see him sobbing behind his hands.

Fai sighed, and reached out, wrapping his arms around Kamui – who locked his grip around the blonde. His hands bunched up the back of the males shirt in his hands, and the blonde held him close.

"...Kamui..._I'm sorry_...I didn't want you to find out that way..." Fai sat back, and took the raven with him – cradling him against his chest.

"...I'm so confused...Fai, what the hell happened in here?" Fuuma questioned, going to get the broom and dustpan.

"Fuuma, you don't have to sweep...I'll do it..." Fai argued gently. Kamui held onto him even tighter.

"No, it's alright. I'll sweep...Besides, I don't think he'll let go of you long enough for you _to _sweep," the taller of the ravens teased, as he opened up the cupboard that contained the garbage bag. He carefully began to task of sweeping up the mess of glass on the floor.

Kamui continued to cry...Shaking, as he clutched on to the blonde.

Fai ran a calming hand through his hair.

"Why is he crying, Fai? What happened?" Fuuma's voice was questioning him once again, as he continued with sweeping the floors.

"...Fuuma...You remember what I told you about my twin?"

"...He died...Of an unnamed illness..." Fuuma recited the memory.

The silence was his answer, before he threw a wide eyed gaze to the blonde.

"...Fai..."

"...I have it too. I haven't told everyone...I didn't really _want to_..." He kept moving his fingers through Kamui's hair,

"I was terrified of causing reactions like _this_..._I'm_ _dying,_ Fuuma. I have been for a long time now. I'm going to continue to die – _slowly._ There's a pill that postpones this, and I've been taking mine regularly...I'm guessing that I'll have to tell the others about this now..."

"...Tell him the rest," Kamui cried. Fai stroked his fingers through the males raven locks and sighed,

"Fuuma...I'll tell you the rest...But you and Kamui need to keep this part a secret for me...Okay?"

"You _have_ to tell Kurogane!" Kamui announced.

"...I can't...I'll tell _Chi_...But the others _don't_ need to hear this...I don't want to be treated any differently...So, they just...They can't know this part..."

Fuuma ran a hand through his own hair and sighed, but nodded,

"Alright. We'll keep the rest to ourselves. Just tell me what the hell is going on."

**TT**

"What the hell happened in here?" Sakura questioned, looking to Fuuma – who was sweeping up the rest of the glass, and then to Fai, who had Kamui curled up against him.

Fai closed his cell phone – having just deleted the voice mail from his inbox, and sighed,

"I've been found out, I'm afraid. My Doctors called to check up on my condition the other day...After Chi dropped me off at home, I went to the Doctors office...And they left me a message this morning, telling me that it looked like I was deteriorating a little more so than usual and that they were concerned...I'm afraid that Kamui here went through my phone – out of concern...And, well..." The blonde looked to the remnants of the broken glass.

"Condition, what condition?" Shogo questioned, taking a seat at the table.

"I think everyone should take a seat...Most of you know what I'm referring to already...But not everyone..."

Everyone did as they were instructed, and sat down.

Fai sighed,

"You all remember what I told you about my twin brother?"

There were nods amongst the group.

"...He died, of an unnamed disease...And what I haven't told the rest of you...Is...Is the fact that I..." Fai cleared his throat,

"...I have the same illness..."

"...You're dying?" Seishiro questioned – surprised by the blondes words.

Fai nodded,

"I've been taking medication, to slow down the process. But everyday I'm _lucky_ to be _breathing_."

Subaru and Primera both looked sad upon hearing the words. Shogo massaged his temple. Seishiro wrapped an arm around his boyfriend – trying to comfort him.

The others already knew. Syaoran had been informed by Sakura earlier on.

"Why didn't you tell us _sooner?_" Subaru wondered, still looking sad.

"I didn't want to upset anyone...And I didn't want anyone to treat me any differently. I don't like being treated like I'm fragile, simply because I'm sick." Fai offered out a small smile,

"So please...Don't treat me like I'm weak, or anything like that. Just...Treat me how you usually would."

**TT**

Fai stretched in bed before he managed to tumble out of it. He landed on the floor with a _thud..._

"Ouch."

"What the hell did you-?" Kurogane paused in the middle of his question as he spotted the blonde on the floor. He took the safer route of keeping his mouth shut...But he had to hide his face in his pillow to keep from laughing at him.

"Hey, don't _laugh_ at me!"

Kurogane kept his face in his pillow. Fai glared, and stood up. He climbed onto the ravens back,

"Don't make fun of me."

Red eyes found the blue gaze of the blonde. A smile graced the ravens lips, and Fai found it to be contagious. He leaned down, brushing his lips against those of his boyfriend.

When he pulled away once more, Kurogane's hand found the back of his head, and the raven lead him back into another kiss – turning his body around to face the blonde.

This time, when they pulled apart, Kurogane sighed,

"Fai...What are you hiding?"

The blonde closed his eyes, and smiled – not the mask, but a small, almost guilty-looking smile,

"I don't know what you mean."

"_Che._ Bullshit."

Blue sought out red before Fai sighed and kissed his boyfriend once more, before he managed to climb out of bed,

"Go back to sleep Kergs. I think you're still dreaming."

The raven massaged his temple, and frowned at the back of Fai's head, before he decided that he'd drop the topic for now,

"_Che,_ whatever. I'll let it go for now, but this isn't over."

**TT**

He snuck out of his room quietly, and was thankful that his boyfriend had gone back to sleep. He wasn't in the mood for confrontation, and he was still feeling guilty over making Kamui cry the day prior.

He'd lead him into the living room a while later, and the two had fallen asleep on one of the couches – curled up in one another's arms. Kamui's head had been resting on his chest, and he'd held onto him as they fell asleep, feeling incredibly guilty for causing the boy _so much pain._

Fuuma had woken them up later on, to tell them that lunch was ready, and the two had gotten up together, and had been inseparable the entire day.

They hadn't parted until everyone was going to bed.

And now, as he reached the bottom of the stairs, he found a familiar head of raven locks, pressed to his chest.

_Apparently Kamui had been waiting for him._

"How long have you been up?" He questioned gently, giving the male a hug.

"Couldn't sleep." The answer was quiet and gentle. Apparently the male had had his morning cup of coffee already.

"...Kamui, you can't let this bug you so much..."

When the male lifted his head to meet his gaze...Fai was surprised by the males eyes. They were young, and lost. Confused and scared...

_The eyes of a child who'd lost everything._

He remembered the way the male had described his past.

"_My parents died when I was very young. They were out on a rainy night...Lost control of the car...And the next thing I knew, I was standing at a double funeral."_

He'd lost his family when he was still just a kid. And now he knew that his best friend might die too...

Fai sighed, hugging the male closer. He felt so _guilty,_ for having kept the secret from Kamui. But he felt _worse_ for making him _cry._ He was upset with himself for being sick at all...But it wasn't under his control. He was sick, and he was dying, and there was nothing that he could do to change that fact.

When he pulled away from the raven once more, he offered him a smile,

"Come on. I'll make breakfast for the others, how does that sound?"

Kamui didn't answer verbally, but he nodded his head.

**TT**

Fuuma found the two in the kitchen when he'd finally woken up.

Fai was busy cooking, and Kamui had pulled up a chair so that he could sit near the male. There was a look in his eyes; _unmistakable fear..._

"Kamui, you should sit at the table now. I don't want the grease to burn you when I cook the bacon, okay?"

The way Fai spoke...It was as if he were addressing a child. Fuuma understood why he was using such a tone with him...Kamui still hadn't overcome the fear of losing the male...This might take a little time...

The stubborn raven stayed right where he'd planted himself, and the blonde sighed.

"Kamui...I understand that you're afraid...But the table is _right there_...You can see me _perfectly_ from there..._And_ you won't get burned..."

Still no answer, and still no movement.

"Kamui, _listen to him._ He doesn't want you to get burned while he cooks, so move yourself back."

"Morning Fuuma," Fai greeted, without turning to face him.

"Morning," the male responded. He let out a little _'oof,'_ as Kamui collided against his body – seeking his embrace.

"Hey Kamui...Calm down, I'm right here..."

Fai smiled to himself as he began placing bacon on the pan. It sizzled and cracked...

"Hungry at all, Fuuma?"

"...I don't know if I can stomach anything right now, Fai." The male could be heard taking a seat. Kamui followed and sat in the males lap.

"Oh? Why's that?" Fai set more bacon in the pan, and hissed at some of the jumping grease that managed to land on him.

Fuuma didn't answer, but it didn't take Fai long to understand. The blonde sighed once again, and continued to speak without turning,

"I understand. But what _you_ have to understand is the fact that you can't let my illness control your lives. You still have to eat, and sleep..._You have to live your lives._ People die all the time, it's natural. You can't alter what's happening within my body. I'm deteriorating, and I'm going a little more quickly now...But it's still going to be a while yet before I die. So don't give up living your own lives, just because you're upset."

"But we know more than the others do, Fai! The only other person who knows as much about this as we do, is Chi!" Fuuma announced, being sure to keep his voice low so that he wouldn't wake the others.

"And that's how it stays!" Fai's voice was equally low, but it was stern. His tone was powerful.

"...And what about _Kurogane?_" Fuuma questioned.

Fai froze momentarily, but then he continued with what he was doing,

"What would you have me do?"

"...Tell him...Tell him what you know. It's only fair..."

"_Life's not fair,_ Fuuma. And before you tell me what a _terrible person_ I am, for not telling him the new information...Consider this; if you were in my shoes...If _you_ were the one that was _sick_...How would you tell Kamui that you were _surely_ going to _die?_"

When the male couldn't answer, Fai continued with his cooking.

**TT**

He'd spent most of the day away from the group. Once he'd finished making breakfast and had had a bite to eat – he left. He got into his car, turned up his radio, and floored it.

No one had the chance to ask him where he was going, or when he'd be back.

He didn't answer his phone, or his texts. He just stayed out all day. All afternoon, all evening...

It was just starting to get dark out when his Mercedes pulled up by the cottage. It was then that he noticed that Kurogane's car was missing...

He stepped out of his car and lit a cigarette, before he headed towards the campfire. He could see the others that were waiting for him. Almost everyone was there...Except for Kurogane, Sakura, and Syaoran. The two younger members of the gang must have gone along with Kurogane to search for him...Sakura to yell at him, and Syaoran to try and keep her from ripping his head off.

Though it looked like Chi was conflicting between doing that herself, and hugging him until he couldn't breathe any longer.

He sighed – exhaling smoke.

He didn't see the shorter body that came running at him...But he felt it when the male crashed right into him – nearly knocking both of them over.

"...Kamui?"

"...You left..."

"...I needed some space. I was being an ass this morning, and I didn't want to take out my feelings on those who didn't deserve it."

"You left...We didn't even know if you were _coming back_..."

"If I had been planning my suicide..." He felt the raven clutch his shirt tighter,

"...I would have left a note."

"That isn't _funny!_"

"It wasn't meant to be. It's _honesty._ Honesty can be painful, but it's better than lying to someone who doesn't deserve to be lied to."

Kamui allowed the blonde to lead him back to the campfire. Fuuma surprised him by getting up and wrapping him into a hug. Apparently, he'd been worried about him as well...

When the taller ravel released him once again, Fai watched as Fuuma sat down with Kamui, before he turned to face the rest of the group.

Watanuki looked relieved to see him, and Doumeki looked like something had been lifted off of his shoulders. Everyone offered him greetings – except for one person.

He approached her carefully – being sure to chuck his cigarette into the fire on his way. He sat down in front of her, and waited in silence.

She wrapped her arms around him,

"Where _were_ you?"

"...I went to see our brother. And then I just..._Drove._ I drove around until I couldn't handle being in the car any longer..."

"...Don't do that again, okay?"

"Mm." He tried not to think about how much he had worried everyone, as he let go of his sister, and returned to Fuuma's side. He wound up sitting in the sand with Kamui in his lap.

**TT**

"YOU STUPID _IDIOT!_"

He cringed upon hearing the voice. _It was Sakura._

"_FAI!_ YOU LEFT ALL OF US HERE, AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US _WHEN_ YOU WERE COMING BACK! OR_ IF_ YOU WERE EVEN _COMING BACK!_ YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANY OF OUR TEXTS, OR CALLS! _YOU STUPID IDIOT,_ WHAT THE _HELL_ WERE YOU _THINKING?_" She was flagged by Syaoran – who was currently restraining her as best he could.

"Sakura-chan...You _know_ that if I hadn't planned on ever coming back, then I would have left a note..."

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"It isn't meant to be...It's just the _truth_..."

She appeared to be taking deep breaths. He moved Kamui out of his lap as she approached – he didn't want the shorter male injured in her rage.

He was right to move him too. He learned so with a loud and echoing **SLAP.**

The whole world stilled for just one moment. One moment, and all anyone could hear, was Sakura's voice,

"YOU DIDN'T ANSWER YOUR PHONE! YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT ANYONE WOULD _PANIC?_ THAT _I'D_ PANIC? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND YOU IN A _POOL_ OF _YOUR OWN BLOOD?_ "

The world became even more silent – how it was possible, Fai wasn't sure. He gingerly reached up with one hand to run his fingers over the stinging flesh. _He winced._

"YOU TOOK OFF ON ME, AND I FOUND YOU IN YOUR _APARTMENT,_ LYING IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN _BLOOD!_ YOU HADN'T ANSWERED YOUR CELL PHONE, AND WHEN I FOUND YOU-!" She cut herself off, as a sob escaped her,

"You were lying there, _lifeless!_ I panicked...I...You were so _pale_...Even your_ lips_ were _pale_...And you wouldn't open your eyes..._You wouldn't_..." The tears rolled down her cheeks as she shook. She collapsed – falling to her knees as the sobs racked her body.

She didn't fight Fai off when he pulled her into his lap. His actions surprised the rest of the gang, but he didn't pay any attention to the others. He simply cradled Sakura against his chest.

She kissed his stinging cheek, and then hung on more tightly to him.

Kurogane sat down near his boyfriend, and Fai risked a glance in his direction. He was pleased to find that the male looked relieved, and not angry.

Fai had an idea as to how to make the next night a little bit better.

**TT**

The day had passed with Kamui sticking to him like glue. He was happy to see that the males eyes were easing out of the _'lost child,'_ look, although it was happening rather _slowly._

He followed a routine of making everyone breakfast – same as usual. But they all skipped lunch. No one was sure if it was because they were so immersed in swimming and cliff jumping that they _forgot_ about being _hungry,_ or if they were all just too _miserable_ to eat all three meals that day...Whatever the reason, they skipped lunch.

So, when dinner time finally rolled around, they were all too happy to light up the fire, and start cooking. They laughed, they cooked...They shoved shoulders and shared smiles...They looked at the stars, hugged, kissed, and cuddled. When dinner was finished, they roasted marshmallows, and made s'mores. They downed water bottles and sodas like there would never be another day to drink a single drop. Their trash went in one bag, and their recyclables went in another – to bring up to the house when they were done for the night.

Fai smoked only _one_ cigarette during the course of all of this. He ate some tic tacs afterwards and curled up with Kurogane for a while. He held Kamui at one point too – _it felt like a routine._

Syaoran held Sakura's hand, Shogo kept an arm around Primera, and Seishiro kept an arm around Subaru. Chi kept a watchful eye on her younger brother, as she curled up with Hideki, and Watanuki blushed whenever Doumeki's arm would snake around his waist.

Finally, there came a time when everyone had settled into a comfortable near-silence. There was minimal conversation, but nothing felt awkward.

Fai stood up.

Kamui's eyes locked on him immediately, and the rest of the group turned their attention to him as well. Not speaking, the blonde went to go around his boyfriend – who swiftly caught his arm,

"Where are you going?"

The blonde leaned over, kissing the top of the males head,

"Behind you."

Kurogane turned around, and seeing nothing – looked down. As realization dawned on him, he let go of Fai's arm. The blonde stayed true to his words, and crouched down behind the log that he and Kurogane had been sitting on.

There were a couple of clicks, and some shuffling, before he erected his body once more. He slung the strap over his shoulder, and held his guitar pick between his teeth. He removed it once he'd steadied his instruments strap.

Wordlessly, he returned to sitting next to his boyfriend, and he began tuning his guitar.

"Fai? You sure?" Chi's questioned turned some heads, but he didn't answer.

"Fai, it's been _four years_ since you last played that thing...Are you sure you-?"

"—It's fine, Chi. I haven't played it in a long time, sure...But I remember _how_ to play. It's like riding a bike, you just don't forget." He continued with tuning.

"You know that's not what I meant," she argued gently.

"...Like I said...It's fine..." He finally managed to finish tuning,

"Besides, like you said; it's been _four years_."

Understanding crossed the faces of his friends. They knew what he was referring to. It had been four years...Four years since Fai lost his Mother, and his twin brother...Four years since his world _fell apart..._

"Hyuu~ What should I sing?" He seemed to be questioning himself, rather than asking anyone around him. He played out a few notes while he thought it over. He stopped though, when he got an idea.

His voice sounded just before the lyrics did.

"_**I see you standing here,**_

_**But you're so far away...**_

_**Starving for your attention,**_

_**You don't even know my name...**_

_**You're going through so much,**_

_**But I know that I could be the one,**_

_**To hold you!**_

_**Every single day,**_

_**I find it hard to say,**_

_**I could be yours alone...**_

_**You will see someday,**_

_**That all along the way...**_

_**I was yours to hold...**_

_**I was yours to hold."**_

Fai continued with the song, putting his soul into his music, while his fingers recited the right strings. He poured his heart out, loving the feeling of playing the guitar. He'd forgotten how close it made him feel to his brother...

"_**I'm stretching, but you're just out of reach...**_

_**You should know;**_

_**I'm ready when you're ready for me.**_

_**And I'm waiting for the right time!**_

_**For the day I catch your eye!**_

_**To let you know,**_

_**That I'm yours to hold!"**_

He recited the chorus once again, revelling in familiarity of it all. He hadn't felt this good in a _long time_...He'd forgotten how good it felt to pour your soul out into the strings of a guitar...

"_**I'm stretching, but you're just out of reach...**_

_**I'm ready when you're ready for me~..."**_

Upon his finish, he dared himself to look around. His friends burst out into a round of applause, and he couldn't help but to blush and then laugh. _How strange_...He hadn't felt this _alive_ in _such_ a _long time..._

_...How ironic..._

**TT**

**(A.N:** I have been listening to **"What If," by Safety Suit** continuously, and this is the result. ANGST. Sorry for so much angst you guys...I'll try to make up for it next chapter...Omnomnom, Fai's not doing so well right now. Uh-oh's. **R&R? Appreciate the love!)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**(A.N:** It's been two weeks since I last updated this fanfic. I couldn't resist the urge to update it for you guys – I've had some ideas, and I was going to burst. **But firstly I would like to inform everyone that there is a link on my profile for a Facebook group that I have created – for the readers of my fanfics. Go join it now – and make sure you let me know who you are, so that I can allow you in. **Secondly I would like to apologize for not posting this sooner...I was sick for a couple of days, and I wanted to update so badly...I'm sorry. I'm better now. **And thirdly, I'd like to warn you that there are severe spoilers for the movie / musical – RENT. In case you haven't seen the movie, I'll brief you on couples: Roger & Mimi, Joanne & Maureen, Collins & Angel. All couples. Benny has his wife, but we never see her.**It got included in all of this. Why? Because I love it. And it fit the scene. Anyways – **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. _'These are thoughts.'_ _"These means someone is talking over the phone."_ **"These are song lyrics."** **OOC Warning. Lemon Warning** – I love you guys. Sorry for babbling. Don't forget to join the Facebook group, and **R&R).**

**TT**

It was finally time to go home.

Everyone had had fun, spending all of their time together at the cottage. Kamui had settled down, and stopped clinging as much. Fai had tried not to smoke _too_ much. They had gone cliff jumping and swimming...Kurogane and Fai had had at least one more spat during their stay, and had made up later.

And Tomoyo had gone picture – and video – crazy.

Every opportunity that she found, she took a picture...And she was recording for many of their moments – both romantic and ridiculous alike.

But now it was time to go home. And really, he was _glad._ He wouldn't have to cook huge amounts of food for breakfast...He wouldn't have to watch Kamui's expressions...He wouldn't have to watch what he did or said in front of Chi and Sakura.

_He could actually kiss his boyfriend without Tomoyo snapping a picture..._

He turned his attention to the raven now. He was lucky to be riding home with him _at all_...But Chi had_ insisted_ on it. She and Hideki left earlier than the rest of the gang. Hideki drove their car, and Chi took Fai's Mercedes to drop it off for him – Hideki followed her there so that he could drive her home in their car.

So Fai allowed his raven to do the driving, as he rested in the passenger seat. And as Kurogane caught on to the fact that he was being watched, he decided to strike up a conversation,

"...So...Are you going to tell me, or am I just wasting my time in asking?"

"Tell you what?" Fai was pretty sure that he knew what the raven meant...Although he _wished _that he _didn't._

"Don't play the innocent card. You already know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

The blonde leaned back in his seat, and smiled as he stared out the windshield,

"It's not that important, so you're wasting your time."

"If it's not that important...Then why won't you just _tell me?_"

_Oops._ He'd left that spot _wide open,_ hadn't he? He sighed, and leaned against the window. Closing his eyes, he decided he'd block out the world, and maybe he'd take a little nap.

**TT**

He hadn't really intended to fall asleep. But when he next opened his eyes, he was drowsy, and it was dark outside...

Kurogane reached across him to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"Whattimeisit?" His question came slurred with sleep, and he heard his boyfriend chuckle,

"Ten thirty. We left pretty late, remember?"

"Mmm..." He couldn't be bothered with forming another sentence.

The raven seemed amused as he reached for him, and carefully lifted him out of the car. He held him bridal style, and Fai slowly reached up to wrap his arms around his boyfriends neck. Kurogane closed the car door behind them, and leaned against it for a moment, revelling in the feeling of the slender blonde in his arms.

"Kergs?"

"Ah," he acknowledged his nickname being spoken.

"...Iloveyou..."

He let out a small sound of fond amusement before he answered,

"...I love you too."

Knowing that the male in his arms was dead tired, he headed for the house, and he was sure to lock the door behind himself. He stepped out of his shoes, and carried Fai upstairs – setting him down on their bed, gently. When he went to unclasp the hands from around his neck, the blonde surprised him by hanging on _tighter..._

"Stay..._Pleasestay_..."

"Fai...I'll be right back, I promise..." He lowered his head to press a gentle kiss against his boyfriends forehead.

The pale hands reluctantly let go, and Kurogane went to the window. He used the small controller on his keychain to lock his car up. Then, he set down his keys and removed his shirt, as well as his pants. He was in nothing but his boxers – which was how he preferred it – as he climbed back into bed. Of course when Fai realized that he was the only one still wearing all of his clothes, he began shifting uncomfortably in bed. There were tired, slurred demands about the clothing as well – which Kurogane helped him with. The raven couldn't help it when the soft chuckling noises escaped him...Fai was just so _ridiculous_ when he was _tired._

When the blonde was only boxer clad, he shivered, and Kurogane shook his head in disbelief. One minute the male's fighting his way out of his shirt...And the next minute, he's shaking as though he'd just been dumped in _ice water._

However, it didn't take Kurogane long to figure out what it was that Fai wanted. He curled one arm under and around him, and pulled up the blankets before he wrapped his other arm around the lithe figure of the blonde.

The sigh that escaped Fai's lips was content, and the raven smiled against the blonde locks.

_He loved moments like these._

**TT**

Their summer had gone on to be rather pleasant.

They had new pictures to hang up around the house, and to place in photo albums. There was the occasional argument – usually over something ridiculous, and once in a while, it was over Fai's secret. Kurogane tried to pry it out of him...But to no avail. Silent treatment, the blonde sleeping on the couch, smoking...Various reactions to their fights – depending on how far out of hand it happened to get.

_But the raven always apologized to him, for making him angry._

He also apologized that morning when his cell phone woke the blonde – who watched him answer it.

"_Are we coming over?"_ The female voice questioned over the phone.

"Coming over?" Kurogane ran a hand through his hair, not understanding the question at all.

"_It's the last Saturday of summer, before school starts back up."_

"Don't remind me."

"_...Do you not remember what that means?"_ She sounded surprised.

"It means...That you woke me up early to play _mind games?_"

"_How can you not __**remember?**__ I bought a big cake and everything!"_ He could almost _hear_ her _pouting._

"End of summer celebration?" He guessed, massaging his temple.

"_...No...It's your __**birthday.**__"_

"..."

"_You __**really**__ forgot..."_ She sighed,

"_I've already called the others...So, you might want to get out of bed...And get Fai out of bed..."_

"But we _like_ being in _bed._ It's _Saturday,_" the raven grumbled, running a hand through his hair,

"And you already called everyone else? Poor Fuuma...I feel sorry for the guy. Kamui wakes up in the_ worst_ of moods..."

"Are the others coming over? What's going on?" Fai questioned, sitting up in bed.

"_Does he not know what today is?"_ Tomoyo questioned into the phone.

"Not exactly," Kurogane murmured, before rolling his shoulders.

"_But you two have been together for almost an entire __**year**__ now! How come you didn't tell him when your birthday was?"_

"He didn't do it either," came the muttered reply.

"_His sister had to tell you – I remember. But at least__** you**__ knew in __**advance,**__ and were able to do something __**nice**__ for him! That's so__** unfair**__ Kurogane, he's going to feel bad now when he realizes you-!"_

He hung up his cell phone, not wanting to hear the lecture. Truthfully, he'd debated about telling the blonde about what today was supposed to represent...But he'd decided not to bother. There really wasn't anything that he needed...And as long as he had Fai, he was happy.

"Is it time to get up?" The previously mentioned blonde questioned tiredly.

"Yeah. It's time to get up. You can sleep for another half hour if you want. I need to shower and stuff."

"Mmm...'Kay...Wake me up when you're out...I need to shower too...But I want to sleep for a little longer..." The blue eyes he loved so much were heavy lidded, and closed up completely when he got up off of the bed.

**TT**

Tomoyo was the first to arrive, and she set the cake in the fridge – to keep it fresh. She set down a bunch of things on the table, and then turned her attention to Fai – who was freshly showered and dressed.

"You have _no idea_ what today is, do you?"

"It's...August the 28th?" He knew the date...But he had no idea why it held any significance.

"Back off, Tomoyo," Kurogane muttered from the kitchen. He was scanning the contents of his refrigerator – looking for something to drink.

"I still think it's unfair to not fill him in!" She pouted, and Fai blinked – confused.

"Tell me what?"

"That today is-"

"—Tomoyo. Leave it alone, alright? The topic isn't important."

Blue eyes stared in confusion. Confusion that pulled at the heartstrings of Kurogane's cousin. She sighed,

"It's Kurogane's birthday."

"Tomoyo! I thought I said to leave the topic alone," the raven grumbled, pulling a water bottle out of the fridge, and popping it open.

"It's _what?_" Fai's eyes went wide, and he turned his gaze to his boyfriend,

"Why didn't you _tell me?_"

"I didn't think it was that important..." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"...It's your _birthday,_" the blonde argued, feeling stupid for not finding out the date sooner. Chi had told Kurogane about _his_ birthday...But he'd never even thought to ask the raven when his birthday happened to be...And he _definitely_ hadn't thought of questioning Tomoyo...

"Knock, knock," a friendly voice intruded on the serious moment, and Tomoyo turned to look.

Fuuma and Kamui stepped over the threshold, and dropped their bags on the floor. The shorter of the two rushed to give Fai a greeting hug, while the taller raven simply shook his head, laughing,

"You'd think he hadn't seen him in _months._"

Tomoyo offered out a small giggle.

"Jeeze, what's with the air in here? _Tension much?_" Fuuma continued, eyeing Tomoyo for answers.

"Fai is upset. Kurogane didn't tell him about what today is supposed to represent...And now he feels bad for not knowing..." She sighed, as if to emphasize the point.

Fuuma nodded in understanding, and set his gaze on the blonde. He watched as the males face brightened slightly upon seeing Kamui, and watched the two hug. Then he set his focus on Kurogane – who was sitting down on one of the couch cushions. The raven eyed Fuuma, with one brow arched,

"What's with the bags?"

"Didn't I tell you? I told the others that we're all sleeping over!" Tomoyo announced, giggling at the way in which Kurogane's scowl only deepened.

"Oh _relax,_ I'll go buy some groceries before the others get here. Chi and Hideki should be coming soon...I asked them to come a little early," as she said it, she picked up her purse.

"Do you mind if I tag along, Tomoyo?" Fai questioned, glancing in her direction.

"You'll shop with me? _Really?_" She was _thrilled._

"Of course. I know what the others like to eat...So I might be able to help with the grocery list." He retreated up the stairs quickly – to grab his messenger bag. When he returned, his sister and Hideki had arrived.

"Going somewhere?" Chi looked amused.

"Shopping. With Tomoyo. We need groceries."

Fuuma and Kamui were waiting at the door – the taller of the two had apparently brought their bags up to their designated guest room when Fai had retreated upstairs.

"We're tagging along," Fuuma shrugged, but he was smiling.

**TT**

They were sitting in the car now, and Fai had pulled out a notepad and pen to scribble down a grocery list. He took suggestions and wrote things down, scratched things out occasionally...

When they had finally gotten into the store, and they had gotten themselves a cart, Tomoyo asked to see the list. She surprised him by setting it in the cart,

"Now, Fuuma and Kamui – you two get started on the list. Check things off as you go. And Fai...You're coming with me." She didn't give him time to argue. She made sure that she had her purse – and he had his messenger bag – and then she towed him away.

Fuuma and Kamui stared after them – dumbfounded.

**TT**

"Tomoyo, where are you taking me?" Fai was so confused. Shouldn't she at least tell him _where it was_ exactly that they were going?

But she didn't stop. Not until they hit their apparent destination.

"...Clothes?"

"Mm-hm. _Clothes,_" she agreed, releasing him so that she could scan the hangers.

"...Why are we here?" It hadn't clicked with him at all. Were they getting Kurogane clothes for his birthday?

"Kurogane," Tomoyo answered. Something in her voice made him nervous.

"...What is it that you're not telling me?"

She finally turned to him, and grinned,

"We're shopping for a present. For Kurogane. But...We're not getting _him_ clothes." She returned to scanning the hangers.

Realization was slowly crossing over Fai's features and he couldn't help but blush.

Tomoyo found the black jeans first...And sent him off to the dressing room to change.

"You're expected to model them for me!" She called as she went back to her searching. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for though. She picked it up, and thrust it at Fai as soon as he stepped out.

"Wha-?"

"—Don't ask questions. Just put it on, and model the entire outfit for me."

He sighed, but complied.

The top that he'd been handed was open – as a jacket would be – but it wasn't a jacket. At least, not like any jacket that he had seen before. It looked like a strange cross between a jacket, and a poncho – more so a poncho for the style, and the jacket for the openness of it all. It was black, with a blue trim – one that complimented his eyes. It came with a sash in that same colour – which he used to tie the top closed. There was also a design that wrapped around the shirt – near the bottom - when it was closed. Leaves – which looked as though they may have been dancing in the wind – were printed in white.

When he caught sight of his reflection, Fai blushed.

The sash held the top tight to his figure...And the sleeves were wide, accenting his pale, slender arms. His cuts were visible, but somehow, it all added on to the _allure..._

He opened the dressing room door slowly, and stepped out. He did a slow spin for Tomoyo – who clapped and squealed in pleasure.

"Everything fits well?"

"Yeah. There's room for shrinking – if these shrink in the wash..."

"They will, but only a little bit. Speaking of which – go change back. I'm taking these things to the laundromat across the street, so that you can wear them today."

_He retreated in silence, afraid to disobey._

**TT**

He stepped into the house with water on his shirt, and his jeans.

"What happened?" Chi questioned, quirking a brow at the sight of her brother. He smiled sheepishly, and Tomoyo stepped in behind him,

"Broken drinking fountain."

It was a lie, but it didn't matter. Fai headed upstairs so that he could change.

The rest of the gang were just starting to arrive while he peeled off his wet clothes and tossed them into the empty laundry basket. He pulled the black jeans out of his messenger bag, and tugged them on. Next he threw on a plain black t-shirt – because he was pretty sure he'd be eating at some point, and he didn't want to dirty his new top. And then came the top itself – Tomoyo had called it a happi – which he wrapped around himself, and tied on.

He stopped halfway down the stairs.

"Well that's everyone. Well, it will be as soon as Fai gets back down here," Tomoyo spoke up. She looked a little _too happy_ for Kurogane's liking.

Fai retreated to their room once more – and was thankful that he did so. Their friends went to their guestrooms to drop off their bags. But once he was sure that everyone had gone back downstairs, he stepped out into the hallway, and started down the stairs.

He paused when he reached the bottom. If he walked five more feet, and turned left – he'd wind up in the living room. But he couldn't get himself to _move._

"Tomoyo?"

Upon hearing her name, the raven haired girl poked her head around the corner, squealed with delight, and rushed over to him – to make sure that his outfit was _absolutely perfect._ When she was sure that the sash looked good, and that it was secured to him properly, she took his wrist, and propelled him towards the living room.

"Ahh-Tomoyo, I-" He didn't get to say anything more. Once they had entered the living room, he felt completely _exposed._ He felt like someone was shining a spotlight down on him. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Everyone stared for a moment. Shogo did a wolf whistle...The others started laughing_ because_ of the whistling, and then people broke out into conversations, and Fai sighed in relief.

_He was no longer the center of attention. _

He approached Kurogane, and sat down next to him – wordlessly. The raven turned questioning red eyes on the blonde, but Fai had lost his voice.

**TT**

When Fai had stepped around the corner, it had taken all of his willpower to keep his jaw from dropping open. The blonde was dressed in black jeans, and a black happi. White leaves danced around his waist, and a blue sash held his figure, and matched the trim. It complimented his eyes...And it made him look...

There wasn't a word. At least, he couldn't find one.

When the male plopped down next to him, he turned to ask him about the clothing...To see if he was right about Tomoyo_ plotting_ all of this – though he was pretty sure that she was guilty - but he was distracted by how absolutely _stunning_ Fai looked.

The males cuts were visible on his arms...But he was still the most _beautiful_ person in the room. _There wasn't any contest._

Tomoyo rushed off to put the groceries away – Sakura, Syaoran, and Watanuki all volunteered to help – which was greatly appreciated. There were discussions about watching a movie, and that lead to the discussion about which movie they were going to watch. They ended up choosing Rent – one of the movies that belonged to Fai – because some had seen it already, and those who hadn't seen it yet were intrigued because those who had seen it, seemed excited about the chance to watch it again.

Those who had seen it sang along with the songs. When the opening song began, and it came down to the two solos – Joanne's and Collins' – the others allowed Sakura and Fai to take over. Sakura's solo came first,

"**525 600 minutes! 525 000 journeys to plan~! 525 600 minutes! How~ do you measure the life of a woman, or a man~?"**

"**In truth that she learned, or in times that he cried? In bridges he burned, or the way that she died~?"** As Fai held the note, the others joined back in on the song. Those who were unfamiliar with the song were surprised by the notes held by both Fai and Sakura – who returned later in the song to hold a high note.

Kurogane was unfamiliar with the movie, but there were plenty of songs, and he focused on Fai's voice more than anything when the male sang along. When Roger was sitting alone and trying to play his guitar, no one sang along, but the others – those who had seen the movie already – looked to Fai. The blonde understood, blushed, and nodded. So, when **One Song Glory **started playing – the blue eyed male took over and held the notes long and strong and powerful. His right hand formed a fist, and the fingers of his left hand touched his palm in time to the music.

_He'd memorized the guitar notes._

The entire movie was full of singing, and laughter...When **La Vie Boheme** started playing, everyone who knew the song laughed as they sang along. Those who didn't, simply laughed at how quickly all of the words came out, and at some of what was being said.

The characters were growing on them. Right after **La Vie Boheme,** the movie was paused – Sakura was in need a bathroom break.

"You know...Syaoran is kind of like Roger," Fuuma noted, leaning into the back of the couch – one arm wrapped around Kamui.

"How so?" The brunette was curious.

"Well, when you're on your own, you get really into your music. Instead of a guitar, it's drums. You're the quiet one. And sometimes you're moody...Until Sakura comes around."

"Great, I'm the _stripper!_" Sakura called from the bathroom – they could hear the water running.

The others laughed at her outburst.

"Well actually, Sakura _is_ like Mimi...Loves her friends more than anything...Loves Syaoran more than anything...She gets kind of crazy sometimes...Though – thankfully – she doesn't rip off her clothes for a living," Fuuma teased.

The caramel haired girl threw him a playful glare, before she sat down next to her boyfriend.

"Mark makes me think of Tomoyo," Fai spoke up now, from his position next to Kurogane – who had an arm around his waist.

"I remind you of a _boy?_"

"Not that. You look out for your friends and family. You care about everyone, even though you occasionally keep it to yourself...And you're always the one behind the camera."

She beamed,

"I _am_ like Mark, aren't I? Maybe I should invest in a scarf like his – he's got _style._"

The group laughed again. Fai loved moments like these. Moments when the entire gang got together...And just _laughed..._

"You know what? Fuuma and Kamui are like Maureen and Joanne," Chi spoke up now,

"Kamui is an intellectual person...And he has great focus. He can be extremely serious, and mature...But he has emotion. He's like Joanne. Whereas Fuuma is more outrageous, and crazy. He still cares about everyone, but he's not afraid of jumping over the edge before he looks to see what he's about to land in. He's like Maureen."

"Chi's right. Guess you two need sex changes!" Shogo announced.

The group was _dying._

"I don't think we have a Benny," Sakura piped up,

"So that leaves Collins and Angel."

Everyone turned their attention to Kurogane and Fai.

_The room was quiet._

"So everyone agrees then? It seems mutually agreed that Collins and Angel – in our group – would be Kurogane, and Fai," Tomoyo spoke up now.

"...Us?" Fai questioned, looking confused.

"Think about it...It makes sense. I mean, they protect one another, right? We watched it happen on screen – Maureen's performance...I can see these two doing something similar. And it's not like they're overly romantic with one another in front of anyone. I mean, even now, it's subtle. Kurogane's got his arm around Fai's waist...But it's so subtle, a lot of people would miss it...And then in public, they don't do anything over-the-top..." Tomoyo continued, amused.

"Tomoyo is right," Sakura agreed,

"Kurogane cares about Fai, and will protect him. He's subtle in his romantic life – with the occasionally obvious action. And he cares about his friends – and family...He's Collins. And then Fai cares about Kurogane, and would protect him in any way that he could...He's a little more obvious about his romance, although he's still subtle in public. He's loud, and crazy, and fun...He loves his friends and family more than anything – well, besides Kurogane, anyway...He's like Angel."

There was a silent moment of tension from Fai. Those who had already seen the movie – Sakura being among them – knew the other reason behind _why_ he was like _Angel._

"And for some reason, I can see him wearing those crazy outfits," Fuuma chimed in – breaking the tension.

That got everyone laughing again, and there was talk of them watching the rest of the movie – which they did. They watched as things turned sad. Roger and Mimi had a misunderstanding...Fought...Broke apart...But the part that had everyone truly staring in wonder at the movie, was what was going on with _Angel._

They watched as Collins wiped away sweat from Angel's forehead while they were on the subway...And then they saw the male lying in a hospital bed – smiling away, with all of his loved ones around him...Which faded to Angel – still lying in the hospital bed, with his eyes closed...Only Collins and Mimi – his best friend – remained.

Kurogane's arm tightened around Fai when he saw Collins cradling Angel's limp body against himself, as he cried.

_Fai tried not to notice._

The movie ended on a happier note. Mark's movie was complete and the camera pan focused on his footage. It ended with Angel – _and the hint of his smile._

"...Wow..." Shogo murmured – he'd never seen the movie before. Primera had though, and she poked his chest now,

"See? _Told you_ it was _good._"

"What should we have for dinner?" Fai went to free himself from Kurogane's hold, but Tomoyo stopped him,

"We'll get pizza. We'll order in. The groceries will help tomorrow – when everyone's up again." It wasn't that she didn't want Fai to cook...He was an amazing chef. She could just see that Kurogane wasn't ready to let go of the blonde just yet. The movie had impacted him, and he needed support.

Tomoyo whipped out some paper and a pen, before she handed out her instructions,

"Alright, here's how this is going to work. I'm going to write down my name, and list my four toppings. I'll pass this around, and you make sure to write down your name, and your four toppings. Then we'll figure out what we should order."

**TT**

Fai removed the happi before he dove into his pizza. Tomoyo looked upset – until he explained that he didn't want to risk getting pizza toppings on it.

He didn't put it back on until after they'd had some cake. And then – with all of the eating out of the way – he tied the happi back onto himself.

Present-wise, he was relaxed to find that Kurogane mainly got cards – apparently, when he'd said that he didn't want anything, the others had persisted, and he'd shrugged and told them to just give him cards. The only one who gave him more a card – was Tomoyo. She brought her bags into the living room, and he glared, but she giggled and explained that presents implied the fact that these things were wrapped – which they weren't. They were just in the shopping bags – with the price stickers torn off, and the receipts missing.

"It doesn't count," she pressed when he didn't let up. But he just rolled his eyes.

Pouting, she pulled a photo album out of one of the bags,

"It's mainly scrap booking stuff...For you and Fai...For your pictures, and for memories..."

"_Mainly_ implies that there's something _else,_" the raven grumbled knowingly while Fai took the photo album that Tomoyo extended to him. Kurogane hated when his cousin did things like this...

"Alright, so it's not _just_ scrapbooking. But almost all of it is!"

"And the other thing would be...?" He arched a brow.

She didn't answer, but she _did_ pull something from one of the bags. Kurogane stared at it for a moment, not understand what exactly it was.

"Film?" Fai questioned, recognizing the roll.

Tomoyo put it back and lifted one of the bags.

"A bag full of film? That doesn't come cheap," Fai murmured.

"And neither did this!" Tomoyo reached into another bag and pulled out a Polaroid camera.

Kurogane sighed in defeat – not at all surprised. Tomoyo handed the camera to Fai – after showing him how to load the film. Kurogane watched so that he would know how to do it as well, but he didn't comment.

Fai turned on his boyfriend – camera in hand,

"Picture number one!"

Kurogane held up a hand – blocking the view for the camera.

"Awww, why can't I take your picture?" The blonde pouted.

'_He's almost as bad as __**Tomoyo**__...'_ The ruby eyed male thought in silence, before he made his argument,

"I don't want to be picture number one."

"But it's your birthday," Fai argued, still pouting.

"I know what the first picture should be!" Tomoyo announced, holding out her hands for the camera. Fai gave it back to her, and continued to sulk – at least until Kurogane lifted him into his lap.

The first picture was of the two of them together.

**TT**

He'd been in the bathroom for a while now – hiding out. They'd said goodnight to their friends and family already. And now, he was just trying to fix himself up for what he was about to do. He had removed his jeans already and had chucked them into the laundry basket. He'd also removed the happi – so that he could take off the t-shirt that he'd been wearing underneath it. Once this was completed, he tied the happi back on.

Kurogane called out to him, to see if he was alright, and he blushed when he remembered what it was that he was about to do. It wasn't that they hadn't done this already – a few times now, actually – but he always felt that rush of nerves when he was the one who started it...Especially when he lead into it in ways like _this..._

"I...I'm fine!" Dammit...Stumbling through his words was _prohibited._ It always made Kurogane worry, and he didn't want the raven to worry. Especially not when he was just trying to...

He shook his head, trying not to focus on it too much.

**TT**

His boyfriend had been in the bathroom for a long time...It was so unusual...So naturally – he was worried. He was clad only in his boxers – as usual – and he'd been waiting for the blonde to come out, so that he could curl up with him...

When had he become so _soft?_

Deciding to distract himself from his sensitive side – one he hadn't realized existed until a certain _someone_ showed up and made his life do a complete 180 – he called out to check on his boyfriend,

"Ooi. Are you alright?"

When the blonde stuttered slightly in his speech, it only worried him _more._ He knew that if something was wrong – Fai wouldn't bother with telling him.

_He'd have to pry it out of him then..._

When the male came out of the bathroom in his boxers and the happi, he lost his words. For some reason, seeing his boyfriend wearing something that represented his Japanese culture...It stirred something within him. Not in a _bad way,_ either.

"I really like this," Fai's voice interrupted his thoughts, and the raven watched as his boyfriend slid a pale hand along the fabric of the sash,

"It's so comfy."

Kurogane's brain was too busy focusing on trying to control his body. He had some images in his head that he was trying to ignore...Not because he didn't _like them_ – quite the opposite...He liked them a little _too much._

"What do you think Kergs?" The blonde twirled for him – as if the raven hadn't seen him wearing the happi all day already.

He didn't wait for an answer though. He hopped up onto the bed, and sat behind his boyfriend – sliding pale hands onto the males tan shoulders...

"...You look...I can't think of a word..."

"Do you not like it on me?" Fai questioned – he knew the answer, which is why his voice added implications of something they could do to _fix_ the problem.

Kurogane bit the inside of his cheek. _Restraint._ He needed some – before he followed up on _exactly_ what it was that his boyfriend was implying.

"I never said that," he murmured.

"Hyuu~ Kuro-rin _likes it_..." Fai's voice took on a sultry tone...

Kurogane clenched his fists.

Pale, slender arms wrapped around the ravens neck, and he felt his boyfriend resting his forehead against the back of his head.

"I'm glad that you do," Fai murmured, his voice still maintaining that _seductive_ tone,

"Because I figured out what to give you for your birthday..." As he said it, he lifted his head, and his lips ghosted a kiss at the nape of his boyfriends neck.

Kurogane grunted – but the sound was reassuring. Fai unwound his arms and carefully manoeuvred himself into the males lap – facing him. The blonde lead their kiss, and broke it gently to brush his lips against the tan flesh of the ravens neck. Kurogane tilted his head wordlessly – knowing that this was one of Fai's favourite places.

Pale lips sucked gently at the flesh, and Kurogane tried to remember to _breathe._

"You know...All day, I could see what you were thinking..." The blondes sultry voice sounded once again, but the ruby eyed male couldn't respond. Not when his boyfriend was tracing his _pulse_ with his _tongue..._

"...You've been undressing me with your eyes..." There was a hint of disappointment in his voice, and Kurogane managed to talk – though he wasn't sure how he managed to do it at all,

"...Why do you sound so upset?"

"...Because you have me in your arms...But you're still not undressing me..."

There were no words then. Kurogane took over – easily lifting the blonde onto the bed before descending his mouth down upon his boyfriends anxious lips. Fai's moans were swallowed by his ravens kisses – until the male manoeuvred his head down the pale flesh of his boyfriends neck, kissing and sucking at the skin...

While he attacked Fai's neck, his hands found the sash of the happi, and he untied it, before pulling the material back, so that he could continue his ministrations. His lips travelled downward, sweeping over the males collarbone, and down his chest...His tongue swirled over one of the blondes nipples, and the raven listened to the moan that escaped his lips.

As his tongue continued to move torturously slow, his hands moved downward, to remove Fai's boxers. The blondes moans increased in volume, and the raven was thankful that he'd thought to soundproof all of the bedrooms...

When the boxers were chucked over the edge of the bed, Kurogane nipped his way down the blondes chest, and out onto his stomach – kissing, nibbling and sucking...Marking him – making him his. He hoped that he did this right...Because this was new to him...

"What are you-?" Fai's question was cut off as Kurogane's hands gripped his hips, and his mouth engulfed his erection.

"_Ahhh!_" He threw his head back, feeling his hips jerk slightly – they would've bucked if Kurogane wasn't holding him down. His eyes went wide, and he gripped the bed sheets in his hands – gasping.

Kurogane began bobbing his head. The taste of Fai's skin was on his tongue – which he swirled around the males erection.

"_Ahh! Kergs!_" Fai's arms shook as he tried to keep himself steadied. His eyelids grew heavy – not because he was tired, but because of the _lust_...And it didn't help when he looked down. All he could see was the pale flesh of his member as it disappeared and reappeared – and the top of his boyfriends head as he sucked vigorously...And he could feel his tongue...He could _definitely_ _feel_ him...

"_Nnh! Kergs...Please..._" He tried to stop him, by attempting to lock his legs around his head...But he was stopped. Kurogane kept one hand on his hip, and used his other hand to hold onto one of Fai's legs – which forced him to spread them apart.

"_A-Ahhh! Kergs...I-! Nnh! I was...Supposed to...Nnh...Nnh! Pleasure...You...!_"

"You _are_ pleasuring me," the raven murmured, before he continued with his ministrations.

"_Ahh! But I-! Nnh!_"

The raven was enjoying these moans...His erection was proof enough, and it throbbed with an aching need...But it could wait. He was having too much fun with this...

His tongue danced along his boyfriends member – tasting him, sucking him...And Fai's moans were proof enough of how good this was feeling...

The blonde couldn't think straight anymore. All he knew was the fact that this was a blind heat...And there was a familiar sensation pooling in his stomach,

"_Kergs...I...Nnh! I'm...!_"

The raven pulled back in order to answer,

"I know," he murmured the words before his tongue traced the pale flesh of his boyfriends erection once again. He took him back into his mouth, hotly. He had him writhing in the sheets...Now it was time to bring him over that edge.

He'd thought that it couldn't get any better...But he was wrong. Kurogane pulled him in, and deep throated him...And then he began to hum...

"_Ahhh! Nnh! A-Ahhh!_" The vibrations sent him over the edge, as he found his release. His boyfriend didn't hesitate in swallowing him down...Before he moved up his body, to rest his head against his chest. Fai panted beneath him – trying to regain control of his breathing.

"You okay?"

"Mm-hm," he couldn't he even _speak._

Kurogane looked to the flushed face of his boyfriend, before he studied his body. His creamy skin had areas that were pink – areas where the raven had marked him. And then there were scars along his stomach, his arms, and his thighs...

Tan fingers traced the stomach scars while the blonde tried to catch his breath.

However, Fai found that once he had found his breath...He wound up losing it all over again as Kurogane tormented him...Teasing his body with his hands and tongue, until he was finally buried deep within him...

Their thrusts drew out their pants and moans. They fell together in their own realm of ecstasy and Fai wondered briefly how he had ever allowed for his Father to get in his way. He had always followed his orders, and lived on his own...Because he feared him. But as Kurogane drove him over the edge once again, he considered the fact that maybe..._Just maybe..._He wouldn't have to be afraid anymore.

_Maybe he could live this life of happiness._

**TT**

Fai awoke to a sound which was coming from downstairs...

At first he thought that maybe someone was up already – Subaru, or Kamui, most likely – and would like some company. But as he continued to listen, it dawned on him that it was someone knocking. Someone was at the front door.

Feeling inconsiderate for not answering it sooner, he hopped out of bed – clad only in his boxers, and grabbed a t-shirt. He tugged the shirt on over his head, and stumbled down the stairs – catching himself on the handrail, so that he didn't land on his face. And, once he reached the door – he didn't bother with looking out. He just kicked aside some shoes – which had gotten in the way – and ripped the door open.

His whole world froze over as he realized who it was that he was looking at.

"...Dad..."

**TT**

**(A.N:...Please don't murder me. You all knew it was going to happen sooner or later...ACK! -Hides- So remember, profile – Facebook group. Please? I love you guys...Really...-Hides moar- Fai, I'm sorry I keep ruining your life! DON'T FORGET TO R&R!)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**(A.N:** Why do I spoil you people? Really? Alright, so, prepare for the angst – you all knew this was coming! **WARNINGS: OOC** (You already know this), **ANGST** (You already knew this was coming), **CONTINUOUS BACK-AND-FORTH-NESS BETWEEN USING THE NAMES: YUUI & FAI. IT'S ALL ONE PERSON. I PROMISE. AND THERE'S A RIDICULOUS NICKNAME. I'm sorry, I totally ran out of names, and then this one just...I don't know. It's ridiculous, but it fits.** _'These are thoughts.' "This means someone is talking over the phone."_ **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. **R&R?** Love you guys for it. And, because it's close enough - **HAPPY HALLOWEEN!)**

**TT**

"Yuui..." Something like a smile graced the males lips, and he raised an eyebrow,

"Well, aren't you going to let me in?"

"...Oh! I'm sorry! I should have thought of...Yes. Come in, Dad," he pulled the door open to allow the taller man inside.

"I went by your apartment complex...But the owner told me you'd moved out a long time ago..." As his Father spoke, Fai closed the door. He grit his teeth before he turned to face the man who had tormented him all of his life. And he faced him with a smile.

"I forgot to tell you? I live here now."

'_Be confident...Be strong...And don't back down – no matter what he says,'_ Fai reminded himself silently. But it was hard...Because although they looked alike – the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the lithe figure...They were so entirely different...

His Father was taller than he was – but not_ nearly_ as tall as _Kurogane._ His hair was neat, tidy...Business-like. But the colour was the same. And his eyes...Although they were the same unmistakable blue – they were solid. While Fai's eyes were soft, and sensitive...His Father's were cold, hard..._Made of ice._

"Really?" The eyebrow was up again. Bad sign. _Very bad._ He was playing the _innocent-curiosity_ game again.

"Big house for one boy..."

"I have a lot of company. Many friends...They're upstairs, right now – sleeping."

'_Easy,'_ he reminded himself,

'_Don't make the things you say sound like a threat...Or he'll get violent – quickly.'_

"Hmm...We'll have to keep our voices down then. Don't want to wake anyone up," his Father looked up to the ceiling – smiling slightly.

"Chi's here too...If you want me to go and get her." Maybe she could save him. Maybe she would wake Kurogane, and _he_ could save him.

_But his Father's eyes were amused, and he knew that he would have to face him alone._

"I was thinking of taking you out for coffee, actually...Breakfast maybe?"

"...Of course. I'm going to grab a sweater – and my bag. I'll be right back...But make yourself at home while you wait." He headed upstairs as quietly as he could – not wanting to wake anyone else. He went to his closet, and pulled it open. He located one of his sweater jackets and slipped into it – leaving the zipper undone. As he grabbed his messenger bag and tossed it over one of his shoulders – Kurogane stirred.

However, as he picked up his cell phone and rammed it into his pocket, the raven opened his eyes,

"Where're you going?"

"With Kamui. We're going to go out and get coffee. It's still early, and we didn't want to wake anyone." It felt so easy to _lie..._

"...Alright..."

"I'll be back soon enough...I love you..."

"I love you too," the raven murmured, before drifting back into the world of sleep.

Fai closed the bedroom door behind himself. He could leave Kurogane here. He didn't need to mention him to his Father. If he didn't know, then the younger of the blondes wouldn't get hurt. He started on his trek downstairs.

However, when he turned the corner and entered the living room – he felt all of his remaining optimism fade away.

**TT**

Taijo had his suspicions about his sons' new home, but he waited for him to disappear up the stairs before he investigated.

He stepped into the living room, looking at the pictures on the walls. Yuui hadn't lied – he had a lot of friends. But what caught his eye next made him sigh in exasperation.

Sitting on the coffee table, he found plenty of Polaroid pictures...Of Yuui and his friends...And a few of his son kissing another male. A big, muscular male. He had a scowl, and he was so _built_ in comparison to his own son...He looked like he could snap Yuui in half if he wasn't careful.

"What has he gotten himself mixed up in this time?" He picked up one of the pictures. In it, the raven haired male had Yuui in his lap. There was such affection in the picture...So much love in their eyes...

"...He's been living with this one..." He made the realization on his own. It wasn't difficult to see, if you knew what to look for.

Hearing his son coming down the stairs, he easily pocketed a couple of pictures.

**TT**

All of his thoughts of keeping Kurogane out of this diminished as soon as he saw his Father looking at the pictures. How could he have forgotten about those? He went to back out of the room again...To retreat upstairs...

If he got to Kurogane – he'd be safe.

But before he could move, his Father looked up. He was smiling away, but his eyes stayed hard – like ice.

"I hope you don't mind, but I got curious, and decided to check out some of the pictures." When there wasn't an answer, he continued,

"You have quite the group of friends."

"I made a lot of friends, at school."

His Father nodded, and headed back to the door. He silently slipped his shoes back on to his feet, before he turned to face his son once more,

"Well. Let's go then, shall we?"

**TT**

He wasn't surprised to find Kamui sitting on one of the couches – reading away. There was a cup of coffee sitting on the side table, and he was extremely calm...Which meant that he'd had a cup already.

What _did_ surprise him, however, was the fact that the raven haired male was sitting _alone._

"Hey Kamui."

The shorter male greeted him in return, keeping his eyes on his page.

"...Where's Fai?"

Now the male bookmarked his page, and set the book aside. He locked gazes with the ruby eyed male, looking confused,

"I thought he was with you."

"He was...But he left this morning..._Early._ He claimed he was going out to get coffee with you." Something was bothering Kurogane. Fai didn't lie about his whereabouts. He _knew _better.

"...I slept in today...I haven't seen Fai since yesterday..." Kamui shook his head, not understanding why the blonde would bother with lying.

But something had already clicked with the taller of the two ravens. His eyes hardened, and he clenched his fists – a sign of anger. Kamui was still confused,

"Kurogane? What's the matter?"

But the taller male didn't answer. Instead, he rushed upstairs. Kamui sat for a moment longer before the thought clicked with him as well.

He dashed upstairs to wake Fuuma.

**TT**

Fai had ordered a coffee. He wasn't really hungry, so his Father didn't bother with ordering breakfast. He simply ordered a coffee.

Now the two were sitting across from each other, in a corner of a small diner. There was a couple sitting across the room – a man and a woman. And somewhere in the middle there was a family – a husband, a wife, and a young daughter. The only other people in the room were Fai and his Father.

"So. How was school, before summer break? Are you looking forward to starting up your final year?" A normal inquiry. But Fai was aware of the fact that there was much more to come. So he gave a decent answer. His grades were good, his friends were nice people, and he'd done his best to attend his classes every day. He had selected courses that interested him for next year, so he was looking forward to having some classes with friends.

His Father nodded along in silence. When the younger blonde had finished his description, and took the chance of taking a drink from his coffee, Taijo asked his next question,

"How was summer break?"

"...It was good. _Great,_ actually. A few fights with friends here and there-"

"-Well that's no good."

"I know. But we've solved our problems. We spent a lot of the summer swimming, and sitting around a campfire." He left out the summer cottage. His Father didn't need to know about that. He also left out the cliff jumping.

_No need to risk himself._

"Sounds fun," Taijo was aware of the fact that details were being left out...But he didn't mind. He was going to get the details that he needed anyway – about a more important matter. He continued,

"Now...These friends of yours...Who are they?"

Fai swallowed down some more of his coffee,

"Well...We have this group you see. A big one. We're almost always together. Chi and Hideki are a part of it."

"It's good to see that you're spending time with your sister and her boyfriend."

He almost went to correct him...But decided against it. His sister should have the honour of telling him about her engagement,

"I'm happy _to_ spend time with her. And I like Hideki – he's good for her."

"He's a good lad. Strong enough, funny. Good heart," Taijo wasn't being sarcastic. He meant every word.

But now he set a hand on Fai's arm,

"Now, your friends?"

"...Right. How do explain everyone? It's hard to know where to start." He was uncomfortable with the physical contact – though his Father wasn't hurting him. His hand was just resting on his forearm.

_But he knew that things were going to turn violent soon enough._

"Perhaps this will help?" The older blonde used his free hand to reach into one of his pockets. He pulled out a Polaroid picture – which he promptly set on the table.

Fai stared, and then fixed his mask onto his face,

"It _will_ help. Thank you." And then – using his free hand - he began to point out the people in the pictures, explaining their relationships to each other, and what they were like.

He grit his teeth against his Father's tightening hold, as he described the gay members of the group. And when he had gone through everyone but Kurogane, his Father's hold tightened again. He could already feel his skin _bruising..._

"And this boy here? The big one." His Father pointed to Kurogane.

Fai swallowed hard,

"He's just one of the guys."

"Hmm...What's his name?"

"...Kurogane. Kurogane Suwa." He tried to keep the pain out of his face. His Father kept a smile on his face, and tightened his hold,

"And he's...?"

"No one." _Tighter._ He grit his teeth.

His Father's free hand pulled out another Polaroid picture – which he set down in front of Fai. The younger blonde stared at it wordlessly.

"...He doesn't look like he's _no one,_" Taijo continued simply.

Once again his grip tightened, and this time, Fai winced.

His Father let go – his expression changing to one of feigned concern,

"Did I hurt you?"

Fai took note of the waitress who was heading over to check on them. He plastered his big, fake, _everything-is-fine_ smile onto his face, closed his eyes to hide the pain, and laughed,

"Unintentionally. I'm just weak skinned. Chi says I'm too tender. Perhaps I should work out and build a little muscle."

"Hmm...I'm happy to hear that you have such a good relationship with your sister, Yuui."

"Do you need any more coffee?" The waitress spoke up from the side, and Taijo checked their cups, before declining politely.

He waited for her to leave, before he spoke up again,

"...I ran in to someone the other day...Surprised me to see him again..."

"Oh? Who was that?" Fai tried to keep his voice interested. He took a drink from his coffee as he waited for an answer.

"An old friend of _yours,_ actually. You haven't seen him in a while...But I think you should pay him a surprise visit tonight."

"I'll need his address."

"I have it. I'll have something for you tomorrow morning as well." Taijo's voice said it all. The younger of the two blondes understood what he meant without it being said. But the older of the two spoke up again,

"Pack your things up tonight. Bring them with you when you go to visit your friend. He'll put you up for a night, I'm sure. I'll bring the key by tomorrow morning – on my way to work."

When there wasn't an answer, Taijo brushed his fingers over the bruising area on his sons' arm – which was hidden by his sweater jacket,

"That won't be a problem, will it Yuui?"

Fai set down his coffee cup, and kept his mask in place,

"Of course not."

**TT**

His Father drove off before he'd even reached the door.

He understood why he'd done it though. Some of his friends still had their cars parked in the driveway – which meant that there were plenty of people to let him in. He kept his mask in place as he approached the door, and opened it.

A body rammed into him almost immediately, and he laughed,

"Hi Kamui."

His eyes were closed, but he was familiar with the male. And he knew that this was a dangerous position. Because although Kamui had been worried...He knew that the male might be _angry..._

"...You left again..."

"I had something to take care of. I'm sorry for worrying everyone." He opened his eyes – finding Fuuma on one of the couches. Shogo, Primera, Seishiro, and Subaru were also in the room.

"Where _is _everyone?"

"Well, Kurogane, Tomoyo, Syaoran, Sakura, Watanuki, and Doumeki are all in Kurogane's car – looking for you. Chi and Hideki are off in their car looking for you...And the rest of us stayed behind in case you came back on your own," Fuuma spoke up, watching him in confusion.

"Oh...I'm sorry for taking off on everyone. I had something to take care of...But it's done now. We should probably let the others know that I'm back..."

**TT**

His phone was going off, so he passed it to Tomoyo – since she was sitting up front with him.

"Fai?"

"_Tomoyo? It's me. Sorry for taking off on everyone this morning...I had something to take care of."_

"What was it?"

"_...It's done now. So it's no longer an issue. I just wanted to call and tell you guys I'm back...So you won't keep looking for me,"_ he chuckled into the receiver – which just worried Tomoyo more,

"We're on our way back now."

"_Alright. I've already called Chi. She should be here any – oh, she's here now. So I guess I'll see you all soon."_ He hung up before she could answer, so she stared at the cell phone.

"What happened?" Kurogane's voice broke through the silence.

"He didn't give me specifics. He said he had something to do this morning, that he did it, and that it's done. He's at the house, and Chi just got back...She'll probably work it out of him..."

"..."

"...Kurogane, something just doesn't feel right..."

**TT**

She waited for him to hang up the phone before she began her tirade,

"Where _were_ you? Why did you lie to Kurogane? You said you were going out for coffee with Kamui! You took off on us – _again!_ Where the hell were you?"

"I...I just had something to take care of..." He had pulled things out of the fridge, so that he could make brunch – as Fuuma had told him that they hadn't bothered with breakfast.

"...You hesitated. Something is wrong. What happened, Fai?"

"Nothing. I just went out for the morning – I'm sorry I lied..."

"You're lying again," she shook her head, her eyes wide,

"Fai, tell me what happened."

He unconsciously rubbed his bruised arm as he looked over the ingredients that he'd laid out. He was going to make omelettes again.

"...Was it Dad?"

The entire room turned cold. Everyone froze. Fai's hand stopped moving...

It was just for a moment. But it was enough.

"...It _was_ him, wasn't it? Fai, what happened?"

"I'm telling you, it was _nothing_..." He didn't make eye contact, as he moved his hand away from the bruised arm.

The front door opened, and they could hear the others as they returned. But the room stayed cold, hardened. The rest of the gang stepped inside – confused by the atmosphere.

Kamui wandered into the kitchen out of concern, and wrapped his arms around Fai. By doing this, he'd locked one of Fai's arms between them – leaving the arm that he'd been rubbing at open.

"Chi. Check his arm," Kamui spoke up. He tightened his hold on the blonde when he felt him struggling.

Chi took hold of her brothers free arm, and thanked Kamui quietly. When Fai struggled, she became worried,

"If nothing happened, then why are you so panicky? What are you hiding?" She pulled up his sleeve and couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her lips. She gingerly ran her fingers over the mark. Kamui saw it, and turned away – burying his face in the blondes chest. Shogo, Primera, Seishiro, Subaru, Hideki, and Fuuma all saw it as well.

_The atmosphere darkened._

The rest of the gang stood confused, just inside of the door.

Fai freed himself gently from Kamui's hold, and tugged his shirt sleeve back down again,

"It's _nothing._ I had an accident. That's all."

"What happened?" Sakura questioned, stepping into the living room. Kurogane headed towards the kitchen, as Kamui stepped out of it.

"It's Fai...He had a run in with-"

"—It was _nothing!_ Just an accident!" Fai announced, frustrated.

Kurogane stepped into the kitchen, and leaned against one of the walls,

"Where the hell were you?" He kept his voice soft, despite the roughness of the question.

"...I just...I had something to take care of...That's all..."

"So why don't you show him your arm?" Chi demanded.

"...It was just an accident..."

His sister sighed – clearly exasperated – and tugged up his shirt sleeve,

"I fail to see how this could _possibly_ be an _accident._"

Kurogane stared at his boyfriends arm. The pale skin had a marking on it...And not just _any_ mark. It was a handprint. And it was a light blue colour. _A bruise._

"Fai...What the hell happened to you?"

Chi propelled her brother to his boyfriend, and then stepped past them, and into the living room. Kurogane took a hold of Fai's hand – not wanting to touch his forearm.

"It was nothing...I..."

"It wasn't just _nothing_..." Kurogane murmured, staring at the difference between the skin tones.

"...Don't be mad..._Please_..." It almost sounded like a _whimper..._

"...I'm not _mad_...Well, not at _you,_ anyway..." The raven linked their fingers, then kissed the blondes forehead,

"I just wish you'd told me the truth this morning...He wouldn't have been able to hurt you if you'd woken me."

"...I..." Fai didn't know what else to say. He already knew that he probably should have just woken Kurogane...But he'd held on to that little bit of hope that things would be okay.

_Now they were destined to be ruined._

The raven pulled his boyfriend into a hug – being wary of the injured arm,

"From now on, you rely on me. On us. _All_ of us. But _especially me._"

Fai didn't answer. _How could he?_ He was going to lose everything, give up everything...And Kurogane still held on with the hope that they would last. That the encounter wouldn't destroy everything that they had worked so hard to build.

_He was going to hate crushing his hopes completely._

**TT **

He was thankful that his boyfriend was such a heavy sleeper. Thankful that he stirred only once – and was easily convinced that Fai was simply going downstairs to talk to one of the gang. He believed him in his tired state when the blonde lied...When he told him that he'd be back soon.

Fai was thankful that he made it down the stairs with all of his bags so easily and silently. And when he was downstairs, he set some down, to grab his coats out of the closet. His winter coat, and his jacket. Then, he picked up the things that he had set down, and slipped into his shoes.

_Then he realized that he wasn't alone._

He set his gaze on the couch – where the dark figure was lying down. He was pretending to be asleep, and Fai _wasn't_ _convinced._

"...Fuuma..." He sighed the name, and kept his voice low,

"...I know you're awake. So I know you can hear me. I _can't_ stay...I know you all think that I can – but I can't. What he did to my arm was a mere _warning._ He'll do worse if I disobey. I'm trying to look out for my friends. For you. For Kamui. I can't let anything happen to you guys because of _me._ I'll still see you guys at school...But I can't be with Kurogane. My Dad will utilize my friendships as a tool against me. He'll threaten and bruise his way into making me straight. I know it's stupid, but he'll do it anyway. I've never understood him, and he's never understood me. All I can really do is this...In the desperate hope that he'll leave you all alone..." He sighed again, and opened the door as quietly as he could,

"Funny, isn't it? That I don't want to go. That I want to live the fairytale, for just a moment longer. But if I stay any longer, I'll change my mind. And that will risk you all."

"...So stay," Fuuma's voice answered from the couch, and Fai smiled,

"I really wish that I could. But I love all of you too much to let him hurt you. So, if it keeps you safe...I'll do what he says." He didn't hesitate any longer. He walked out.

Fuuma didn't move. He knew that he should go after the blonde...Or in the very least, wake someone else. But he didn't. Because he knew that if he did...Fai would fight. The blonde would rip their hearts out, all in the effort of protecting them.

_And he knew how much it would kill Fai to do that._

So instead, he got up, and headed upstairs.

He would face the others tomorrow.

**TT**

He pulled up to side of the shop. There was an apartment above it – which was where he was meant to find this _friend_ of his. He left his things in the trunk. Taking them up would be a waste of time. He brought his car keys, and his phone – which was in his pocket. He locked his car up behind him, and headed out in front of the shop – reading the sign as he went.

It was too dark to make out the name, but he could see the words: Auto Shop. Which would explain the smell of gasoline and oil.

There was a staircase in front of him, which lead up along the side of the building – to a door. The lights were out – which didn't surprise him. He walked up the stairs hesitantly, and when he reached the door, he knocked.

The light in front of him flicked on, and he blinked against the sudden brightness. He heard a few locks click, and the door opened.

The barrel of a gun was aimed at his head.

**TT**

He opened his eyes, upon hearing the knocking.

It was still dark out, and they weren't expecting any company...So he sat up. He pushed the blankets off of himself, but made sure that they stayed over his boyfriend. And then, he was on his feet. He tugged on his previously discarded shirt, and picked up his gun. It was loaded, he knew. He kept it loaded.

He turned off the safety, and headed for the door. His next movements were quick. He turned on the light – knowing it was bright and would startle whoever was there. Then he unlocked the three locks, and pulled the door open – gun raised.

He stared at the male, taking in the features...Tall, lithe figure, blonde hair...Blue eyes...

He watched his eyes – which were currently widened in shock – move from focusing on the barrel of the gun, and over to his face. He saw the fear dying down...And familiarity taking its place.

_And then the male spoke his nickname._

**TT**

Fai stared at the gun, in both fear and bewilderment. Surely his Father hadn't sent him to his death? He swallowed hard, and forced himself to look to the face of the gunman.

Surprised, he found that the angel faced male was familiar. So, hoping he was right, he spoke the first name that came to mind,

"...Shooter?"

_The gun lowered slightly._

Fai could see the males face better now. He looked like an angel, fallen from grace. Black hair framed his face, and his emerald green eyes went from being solid rock, to melting ice.

"...Fai?"

The blonde smiled upon hearing his name being spoken. He'd been correct then. The male _was_ Shooter.

The gun lowered completely, and the tall raven haired male smiled, gesturing him into the apartment. Fai sighed, relieved, and stepped inside quietly. He didn't want to break the silence of the night.

The locks clicked behind him, and Shooter stepped past him, heading back into the apartment – walking towards a bed. Fai removed his shoes, and stayed near the door.

_He watched in silence._

Shooter set down his gun, and kneeled on the bed – shaking a form gently. He didn't speak, just shook. The male that he was shaking stirred, and eventually managed to roll over, and sit up.

"What's going on?"

Fai recognized the voice as soon as the male spoke.

Shooter handed the male a t-shirt, which he confusedly tugged on,

"Shooter, what is it?"

The male in question got up off of the bed, and held out a hand to the male, who gladly took it. Once he was on his feet, the emerald eyed male gestured to the blonde.

"...Fai?" The other male stared in bewilderment.

"...Raiko..." The name wasn't a question. He'd know the voice, and face anywhere.

"Fai D. Flourite. Standing in my apartment. Good lord have mercy on us all..." Raiko murmured, stepping towards the blonde. When he had gotten himself closer, he grinned,

"Get your ass over here!"

Fai couldn't resist the urge to laugh, so he allowed himself to, and rushed forward to hug his old friend.

**TT**

"We haven't seen you in _ages_...Where have you been? How have you been? What's life been handing you?" Raiko leaned back into the couch that they were currently situated on. He had long, black hair – which brushed against his shoulders, and mischievous amethyst eyes. He was a couple of inches taller than Fai happened to be, and the one addressed as Shooter was slightly taller than Raiko.

"Well...It's a long story..."

"Coffee?" Shooter questioned gently. Raiko nodded,

"Sounds good to me...Fai, you up for coffee?"

The blonde nodded in agreement, and thanked the ravens. Shooter wandered away to make coffee, while Raiko kept his focus on Fai,

"Spill."

"...After I stopped coming around...Things changed...They were still bad...My Father was still abusing me...At least...Until I left. I moved out, got myself an apartment...Lived an _insanely_ _boring_ life...I had _no one_...But Sakura came around...Told me to transfer into her school – which I did...And things got better. Faster than I would have ever imagined...I made friends...And...I met a guy..."

Raiko arched a brow, prompting continuance.

"...We started dating...And...Well, our relationship moved along slowly, and gradually...He didn't push me into anything...Whenever we fought, he'd come after me...Chase me down, just to apologize..." Fai smiled sadly,

"He loved me...A lot...I loved him too...Well...We still love each other...For now...I don't think he'll feel that way in the morning..."

"...You didn't tell him that you were leaving?"

"How could I? I had to leave, so that my Father wouldn't hurt my friends as a way of getting to me..." He rubbed absentmindedly at his bruised arm.

The amethyst eyed male sighed,

"Tell me about these friends. And about your _boy-toy_."

Fai did. He told him all about his friends. All about their relations to one another...He pulled a picture out of his pocket – the same one his Father had used against him that morning – to show him all of the friends. He went into details about the things that had been going on, and Raiko nodded along the entire time.

Even when Shooter brought out coffee, Fai continued to speak of his friends – only pausing to take drinks.

He trembled when he spoke of Kurogane. Not because he feared him...But because he was resisting his urges to _cry._

But he was in tears in the end, and Raiko wrapped him up in a hug – as if it were the most natural thing for him to do.

_Because he had done it plenty of times before. _

**TT**

**(A.N: Please don't hate me? I swear there's more to come! GAH. DON'T HATE ME. And yes, "Shooter." Lovely nickname, right? XD I was completely out of ideas...And Shooter & Raiko...I don't know...Their names fit together in a weird way. They'll grow on you? Raiko grew on me. I love the OC that I have created in my head. Anyone know where Fai knows these boys from? Nomnomnom. Cookie to anyone who guesses it correctly. XD MORE TO COME. HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**(A.N:** Gomen nasai! This chapter is shorter in comparison to most of the other chapters that I've written. GAH. I'm sorry. Sadface. But I needed to update this...And ANGST. Kind of drifting away from Fai's problems – sort of. Sorry guys. I'm just so out of it lately. **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. _This & "This,"_ refer to video footage – it'll make sense as you read. _'These are thoughts.'_ R&R?)

**TT**

Fai was in the student parking lot – sitting on the hood of his car. He was facing the schools entrance, and smoking. Kurogane was leaning against the stone wall that lined the schools entrance, and trying not to look at the blonde. Syaoran and Sakura were perched on said wall, as was Kamui – though he was a little further away. Fuuma was standing in front of him.

The two quickly became the center of attention.

"I told you already...Even when I told him to stay – he left. I couldn't have stopped him, Kamui."

"You didn't even _try!_ You told him not to leave...But you didn't follow him, or even wake someone up! You just came up to bed and went to sleep! How come you never bothered with _telling me?_"

"Because I knew how you'd react," the taller of the ravens said it calmly, and sighed when his fiancée scowled,

"Come on Kamui...You _know_ he wouldn't have listened to me..."

"_You knew how I'd react?_ What are you implying?" The shorter raven was glaring viciously.

"...Did you skip out on coffee again this morning?"

"As a matter of fact – yes I did. You know why? Because I can't be bothered with cheering myself up in the morning, only to be met with frustration, confusion, sadness, and anger again later. All of which comes from not having Fai in the gang anymore. Yeah – he talks to us – but he ignores the one person that means _more to him_ than _life itself!_ And you just admitted to the fact that you didn't even bother with chasing him down. And now, you're implying the fact that you know everything about me – which you don't."

Kurogane glanced at the blonde while listening to Kamui's rant, and then turned his attention back to focusing on nothing in particular. He kept his ears open.

"Listen Kamui, I understand why you're mad at me...I get it. Fai's our friend – our best friend – and he left...And I didn't chase him down...But how you're reacting right now? This is _exactly_ why I never told you. Because I know you...And I knew how you'd-"

He was cut off rather abruptly.

_Everyone turned to stare._

Fuuma was knocked down shortly afterwards, and he landed on the ground with a thud.

"Stop talking like you know everything there is to know about me! YOU DON'T!" Kamui hopped down from his place on the wall, and stepped over to Fuuma – standing before him,

"I am so sick, and so tired of all of this bullshit! I hate how everyone assumes that they know me! I hate how _you_ assume that you know everything there is to know about me! You don't! No one does! And you-!" He shook as he tried to control himself,

"You let our friend go! You didn't chase him down! You told him to stay, he left, and you didn't tell me a damned thing!"

Fuuma didn't reply. He knew better.

"And you know what? I'm tired! I'm tired of how people talk to me, and how you act with me! I'm sick and tired of everything! And if Fai isn't going to stay with Kurogane...Then..." There was a moment of silence as Kamui shifted.

His ring hit the ground with a _clink._

He didn't speak. He grabbed his bag, turned on his heel, and walked away – heading away from the entrance.

**TT**

Fai could see them perfectly from his position on the hood of the car.

He was trying not to look at Kurogane, and the raven appeared to be doing the same. Which was good. It was their second week of the new school year, and it had started off..._Horribly._ Kurogane had tried to talk to him...And he'd avoided him like the plague.

He should have known that it wouldn't be enough.

He rubbed at his arm subconsciously – this time, it was the upper half of his arm. His Father was relentless...First he was bruised for having a boyfriend...Then for having gay friends...And of course his Father was blissfully unaware of Raiko and Shooter's relationship...

He tried to stop his thoughts, and instead focused on Fuuma and Kamui – who appeared to be arguing.

He didn't have to wonder what their argument was about for long though – when his boyfriend..._Ex-boyfriend_...Glanced his way.

And then he watched as Kamui slapped Fuuma across the face, before kicking him down. The short male hopped down off of the wall, and seemed to be yelling at his fiancée...

_And then Fai watched in silent horror as Kamui threw down his ring._

**TT**

He wasn't surprised in the slightest to hear them arguing – _again._ There was a lot of that going on lately. But when Kamui threw down his ring...

He felt bad for Fuuma – who was just sitting on the ground, staring at the ring. He wasn't smiling, or brushing it off...He wasn't even _moving..._

But Kurogane was more concerned about Fai.

The blonde had been rubbing at his arm when he set his gaze on him for those few brief seconds. And this time, it was the upper half of his arm.

His Father, he guessed.

It was irritating beyond all belief that – even though Fai had broken up with him – the blonde was still being abused. _Why?_ What was the point? He'd already taken his life apart...What more could he possibly want?

A flash of pale beauty flashed before his eyes, and he stiffened his natural reaction of reaching out. If he put out an arm now – things would turn ugly.

Fai was crouching beside Fuuma – who was finally sitting himself up properly, and pocketing Kamui's engagement ring. The raven haired male chuckled slightly, and made a joke about how maybe he should have gotten the male a better ring. Fai only offered him a sad smile, because – although Fuuma was trying to hide it – he could see him falling apart inside.

"Fuuma..."

"I think...I think I might go home for the day...Not feeling too well right now..."

"...Do you want me to go with you?"

"...Nah, I'll be fine. I'm used to him being angry with me, remember?" He grinned for emphasis.

But Fai knew that he was just putting on a strong front.

Even as the raven got to his feet, his eyes looked far away. He was lost, and the blonde was concerned for him. That gaze was so familiar to him...

_He had seen it on Kamui._

**TT**

He'd gone back to their apartment, and had rifled through his stuff – packing things absently. When he'd packed up his clothes, he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and put them in a Ziploc bag. And then, he opened one of the bedside drawers, and pulled out another Ziploc bag – a bigger one. This one was loaded with pictures – from their summer vacation. He knew what he was looking for as he pulled out the stack, so it didn't take him long to find it.

As he stared at the photo, he smiled. In it, Kamui was sitting next to him. He had leaned over to kiss the shorter raven on the side of his forehead, and had reached out with his left hand, to take hold of Kamui's left hand. The shorter raven was smiling, and blushing – slightly. Their rings were both clear in the picture.

He put the rest of the pictures away, and stuffed the one he'd snuck out – into his pocket. Then, he grabbed his bags and took off.

Kamui would be back soon enough.

**TT**

Even as he stepped into the apartment, he could tell that it was empty.

He removed his shoes, and wandered over to the bedroom – setting down his bag slowly, just inside of the door. He could see it from where he was standing. Fuuma's half of the closet.

_It was empty._

He stumbled over to it, as if it were some crazy illusion. As if Fuuma were going to jump out at any given moment and startle him...

_But it wasn't some messed up dream. _

A few of Fuuma's shirts still hung there, forgotten. He'd been blinded by his emotions then...He probably couldn't see straight...

He was shaking as he unbuttoned one of the males dress shirts, before sliding it off of its hanger. He tugged it on, buttoning it up as much as he could before the tears took over. Wobbly legs carried him to the bed – which was where he collapsed.

"...Fuuma..." He turned on his television, and the DVD player – forgetting that in it, there was a disc with video footage of the two of them and some of their friends, on summer vacation.

He watched _Fai taking the video camera from Tomoyo, and then the blonde disappeared behind said camera. The video showed Kamui himself sitting in front of Fuuma – who kissed his shoulder. On screen, the shorter raven leaned back against the taller males chest – and long arms wrapped around him._

_The video showed the two speaking to one another – too softly for the recording device to pick up the sound...And then Fai wandered closer to the two, and Fuuma looked up into the camera, grinning._

"_What're you two talking about?" The familiar voice of the blonde questioned._

"_Plotting against __**you,**__ of course," Fuuma answered the question as though it were obvious. And – on screen – Kamui chuckled._

"_Oh really?" And here Fai kneeled,_

"_It looks to me like the two of you were discussing wedding plans..."_

_Neither answered at first, and Kamui's face lit up – as did his ears. Fuuma chuckled, kissed his fiancées shoulder, then his neck,_

"_We were," the taller of the two murmured softly._

_Fai giggled behind the camera, as the shorter raven blushed furiously._

"_We were thinking sometime in the spring...Maybe next summer..." Fuuma continued, kissing Kamui's neck again._

"_We were planning on asking you and Kurogane to be our best men...Kurogane with Fuuma, and you with me..." _

"_Really? Wow...I feel so honoured..."_

_There was more talk of the wedding plans, in Fuuma's gentle voice_. And as Kamui watched in silence, the tears increased and sobs racked through his body.

_What had he done?_

**TT**

He was on his way over to their apartment. He hadn't been able to sleep, and he hadn't bothered with unpacking...And he was worried about him.

Even though Kamui had been the one to call it off, he still knew that he should check on him...Make sure he was alright.

So he drove to their building, and entered the main entrance quietly. He took the elevator up, snuck into their apartment unit as silently as he could...

He went to the bedroom, and wasn't surprised in the slightest to find Kamui sleeping. He went to the television and turned it off – as well as the DVD player – which he noted was still playing footage from their summer vacation. He started turning hydro off in the bedroom as well – leaving only one lamp – beside the bed - on.

He crept over to the bedside, and brushed Kamui's bangs out of his eyes. The males cheeks were tear stained, and there were still tear droplets in his eyelashes.

"Oh Kamui, baby..." Fuuma murmured gently, and watched as the shorter raven shifted in his sleep,

"...I love you...More than anything...And you should know that I'll never really give up on you..." He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the males forehead.

When he pulled away again, he pulled the blankets up over the ravens shoulders, and turned off the lamp, before letting himself out of the apartment.

**TT**

He didn't stir until noon, and when he did, it took him a few minutes to understand what was wrong with his surroundings.

When he understood it, he shot up – quickly.

Fuuma's half of the closet was still empty. But the lamps were off – and he'd left them on the previous night...The television and DVD player were off as well.

_And only one other person had access to the apartment._

"...Fuuma?"

Maybe he was sleeping in the living room...Maybe he'd come home...

"...Fuuma?" He tried calling out a little bit louder this time – but he was met with silence. He wrapped his arms around his knees, and scoffed at himself. Who was he kidding? He expected to see Fuuma _here?_ After breaking their engagement?

He'd be lucky if the male continued with speaking to him _at all._

But then again, why _should_ he? It wasn't like he had anything special to offer, right? He was just Kamui, plain and simple. He woke up grouchy and unstable in the mornings, he loved to read, and he sometimes let his emotions get the better of him. He was quiet, but perceptive. He had no family...And he'd thrown away the opportunity of having one because he couldn't just...Grow up and deal with his issues...

The tears came back heavily as he began to shake.

**TT**

"You two should really talk things out..." Fai murmured.

Kamui didn't answer, but he scoffed lightly. He was clearly indicating that the blonde was a hypocrite.

"It was different between Kurogane and I...We were _dating_...You two were _engaged_..."

Kamui ducked his head.

"Talking about me this early in the morning?" Fuuma's voice teased, as the male hopped up on to the wall – on the opposite side of Fai.

"Of course we are," the blonde agreed, laughing,

"We're plotting against you."

It was Friday, and Fuuma and Kamui hadn't spoken at all over the week. Instead, they locked themselves up in their own forms of silence, and longing.

_But today was different._

When Fai locked his gaze with that of Fuuma – the raven haired male nodded in the direction of the school's main entrance.

"Right. So, I'm going to go and find Sakura-chan...I'll catch you guys later!" He didn't wait for Kamui. He just hopped down and took off.

Kamui shifted slightly, feeling edgy.

_He'd been left alone with Fuuma._

Neither of the males spoke a word. Fuuma didn't know how to start a conversation...And Kamui was equally as lost. Though he _was_ plotting against Fai in his silence.

"...Whatever master plan you're coming up with for revenge...Can I help?"

The shorter of the two ravens, laughed. He hadn't been expecting Fuuma to read his expression...And he hadn't been expecting for him to speak to him so jokingly...

Especially after he'd...

He looked away again, down to his feet.

"...I'm not mad."

The words were so sudden, and so earnest, that Kamui turned his head – eyes wide.

Fuuma wasn't mad at him? But he'd slapped him, and kicked him over – in front of the school. He'd thrown his engagement ring down in front of him...He'd...He'd cried over him all damn night – waking up with tears in his eye lashes, every night that week...He'd been missing him, and regretting what he'd done all day, every day - until he'd passed out...He'd woken up that first day without him - hoping that he was in the living room...

"Kamui?"

He blinked, then nodded.

"I'm really not mad at you."

The shorter raven looked away again.

"...I've got to get to class...So...I'll talk to you later?"

Kamui nodded absently.

_Fai was a dead man._

**TT **

**(A.N:** Sorry this is so short...GAH. I'm so...I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm just totally zoned out. Dammit. Sorry guys, I'll try to update again soon, okay? And don't give up on this because of the angst! There's happiness on the way...Eventually...Somewhere...Over the rainbow...DOUBLE RAINBOW...Sorry, had to. XD Ahh, okay, right, back to my thingy. **R&R? Appreciate it you guys!)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**(A.N:** Alright guys, it's been three weeks, and three days – holy shit – since I last updated! -facepalms- I fail. I'm sorry it's been taking me so long you guys...I wish I had an epic excuse, but I really don't...I just sort of...Got writer's block...-sweatdrop- So I worked on other things...I've posted the beginnings of a new Code Geass fanfic...As I had no KuroFai inspiration going on – until recently. I actually had to work on this on and off over the course of the three weeks, and three days – because I just wasn't feeling it as strongly...So I only worked on it when the feeling was strong. Sorry it took so long! I had to re-watch a clip from "A Walk To Remember," just to get the feeling back...And of course, it made me cry...Damn movie. ANYWAYS...On with the fanfic! **TT** means time passing, or scene changes...You guys know the drill! **SLIGHT HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE SPOILER**...It's REALLY small though...**R&R? I love you guys for it!)**

**Answering Reviews:**

**sathreal: **

The last sentence was meant to be Kamui's perspective. Fai abandoned him, leaving him alone with Fuuma...So Kamui was going to plot Fai's demise. It was meant to be a joke.

**RemaSofiRuin:**

...I feel like a bad person now. Sadface. I hope you forgive me for the angst?

**TT**

The rest of September was spent on working Fuuma and Kamui back together. They weren't dating again – not yet...But they were trying to get themselves back into that old rhythm. Kamui was trying to forgive himself, and Fuuma was being patient, and kind – as usual.

By October, they were hanging out more and more – which pleased the rest of the gang. But they still hadn't gotten back together.

When Halloween rolled around...Everyone was in for a surprise...

"So we're all going to go together this year?" Sakura questioned, lying herself down in the grass – resting her head on Syaoran's stomach. The brunette was sprawled out in the grass as well, so he looked down to her, and brushed his fingers through her hair.

"Looks like it," Fuuma agreed, grinning.

"What are you guys going as?" Subaru questioned – leaning in to Seishiro's hold.

The group began their discussions, but Sakura was looking away from the group. Her gaze was focused on the blonde – who was approaching a motorcycle.

There was another male sitting on said motorcycle already, and he handed the blonde a helmet – which Fai took, and hooked onto his messenger bag. He motioned to his group of friends and motioned that he wanted a few minutes.

There was a nod, and the blonde headed for the group.

Sakura watched him as he approached. Stared at how easily he came towards them.

"...Hey guys..."

"...Fai?" The caramel haired girl was still staring.

"Fai-san!" Watanuki greeted, happy to see him.

Kamui leaned back and looked up to the blonde.

"What're you doing over here?" That was Sakura again.

"Well...I came here to see my friends...And...I'm tired of all of this...I mean, I can't ignore the entire group simply because of something that was clearly between Kurogane and I. And I really don't want to fight with anyone, either...So...I came to see if Kurogane would be alright with...With being my friend? I mean...I miss everyone. I feel like some outcast."

The previously mentioned raven shrugged indifferently.

"Should I take that as a yes then?"

Kurogane nodded slightly, then went back to listening to the group – his eyes closed.

"So are you coming with us?" Watanuki questioned, as the blonde sat down next to Kamui.

"Going where?" Fai was clearly confused.

"Well, here on planet Earth – it's Halloween," Sakura spoke up again, closing her eyes as well.

"And we're all going out trick-or-treating," Fuuma added, closing his eyes.

Fai stared at him,

"Everyone is closing their eyes after answering me...Is there some sort of _trend _starting?"

"No, I just wanted to fit in."

The group laughed, and Fai let out a small, _'ow.'_

A male that was slightly taller than the blonde was himself – sat down behind him, leaning on him,

"We~ need to go~"

"I know, I know. Jeeze, I leave you alone for three minutes, and you get antsy."

"I'm not antsy. But a certain _someone_ is going to panic if we take much longer...Because he knows we're using my bike...And he knows that the school isn't that far away..."

"I know...I'm sorry. I didn't think about that."

"...Raiko?" Sakura's voice questioned, and the addressed male came out from behind Fai – plopping down next to him instead.

"Who else would I be? Jeeze Sakura, you're all grown up...And, is that Syaoran? God, last time I saw you two..." He trailed, and shook his head, in complete disbelief. He set his attention on the group,

"Hello friends of Fai...Sorry for not introducing myself sooner! I'm Raiko – a childhood friend."

Kurogane looked from Raiko, to Fai, to Sakura. The caramel haired girl mouthed: _I'll explain it later._

Raiko's cell phone started playing his ringtone, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, flipping it open,

"Hey...Yeah, I'm with him...No, we haven't left yet...No, there's no problems...No...No I promise...He was just talking to some of his friends...Mm-hm..." Raiko made a gun out of his fingers and aimed it at Sakura. He grinned as her eyes grew in realization.

"Uh-huh...Yeah...No babe, we'll be on our way back soon...No, I promise, there's no trouble...No, don't get into the car...Put that away...Because, if you come here with that, you'll cause a scene...Babe...Just, stay in the apartment...Yeah, we'll be back soon...Okay...I love you too..." He closed the phone, tucking it into his pocket,

"We need to get going. _Now_."

"Wait, you two are going to ride off together on the back of that...What is it? A UTE Hire?" Kurogane narrowed his eyes as the two males got to their feet. The red eyed male was already on his own feet.

"Actually, it's a blue FJR1300...The 2010 model..." Raiko answered.

Fai bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"What?" The shorter raven blinked, confused.

"You're so matter-of-fact sometimes..." The blonde unhooked his helmet,

"I'll see you guys later. The bike king and I have to get going before his boyfriend decides to hunt us down."

"Hey, he was dead serious!" Raiko announced, hitting Fai lightly in the arm with his own helmet.

"So you two are going home on a motorcycle?" Kurogane questioned again.

"...Yeah. It's how I got to school today...And Raiko is a safe driver. He's been driving this thing for years..."

"It doesn't matter how long he's been driving it – that doesn't make it safe."

"Fai, we have to go. He won't hold on much longer before he-," Raiko was cut off by his ringtone,

"Shit."

The rest of the gang had gotten to their feet, as Raiko answered his cell phone for the second time in a row. He argued with the person as he and Fai walked towards the motorcycle, and hung up before he tugged on his helmet, and got on the bike.

"Remember how I told you about the wrong crowd that Fai was involved with?" Sakura questioned, not taking her eyes off the males on the motorcycle – as Raiko kicked up the kickstand and checked for traffic.

"Raiko's one of the people from that crowd...He's the level-headed one..." She continued into the silence, and seconds later, the motorcycle roared to life, out on to the open street.

As the two disappeared from sight, Kurogane had to ask the question that was bothering him,

"If he's so _level-headed,_ then why do you sound so _worried?_"

Sakura turned to face him, and made a gun out of her fingers, as Raiko had done earlier. She aimed her finger gun at Kurogane.

When the raven merely stared in confusion, she lowered her hand again,

"His boyfriend is a gunman."

**TT**

They were gathered in Kurogane's living room.

The whole gang – minus Chi, Hideki, Tomoyo, and Fai. And everyone was dressed up. Watanuki, Doumeki, Syaoran, and Sakura were all re-using their costumes from the previous year. Watanuki was still a ghost buster, Doumeki was still Frankenstein, Syaoran was still a knight, and Sakura was still a Princess.

Fuuma, Kamui, Seishiro, and Subaru were using Kurogane and Fai's previous idea of vampire and prey. Fuuma and Seishiro were prey for their respective partners. It was a couple costume idea, but Kamui and Fuuma were still, _'just friends.'_

Shogo showed up, dressed a prisoner. And, of course, his girlfriend showed up in a female cop outfit...Dressed completely in black. Leggings, the short dress that buttoned up in the front, the radio on one of her hips, the police hat, the fingerless gloves, the boots that came up almost to her knees, and the baton she was carrying. The only things that contrasted this, were the silver handcuffs on her opposite hip, and her badge – which she wore right over her heart.

"Oh, you can arrest me any time you want..." Shogo murmured. Primera rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless, and tapped him lightly with the baton,

"You're such a pervert."

Kurogane rolled his eyes at the couple. He was dressed as a ninja, and he wouldn't dare tell a soul that the sword he was carrying – was real. It had belonged to his Father...

_He didn't allow his thoughts to go there._

Cat Woman came rushing up the front porch steps, knocked, and then stepped into the house.

_Everyone stared._

She was dressed in black leather. She had long gloves that stretched to her elbows, and a top that wasn't much of a top at all...It was more like a bra with an 'x,' design beneath it. And of course, she had the leather pants with the rips along the fronts. She couldn't wear the mask, because she had too much hair, so she wore the cat ears instead. In her hands she carried a belt, which attached to a long cat tail.

"...I forgot I was wearing my costume! What do you guys think?"

"...Tomoyo?" The whole room was staring.

"Of course it's me!"

"...You are _not_ going out in that," Kurogane announced, glaring.

"But I've already come over in this!"

"I don't care. You're not going out like that!" He was on his feet now. He was serious about this, and he wouldn't stand down.

"You're not my _Father,_ Kurogane! And you're not that much older than I am! It's not like I'm going out completely _alone,_ either! I'll be with the group!" Normally Tomoyo didn't get so upset...But it was Halloween, and she felt like her cousin was overreacting.

"I don't care if you're going out there with an entire _army._ You're not going out like that!"

"But why not? It's not up to you!"

"Because I'm supposed to watch over you!"

"You're my _cousin,_ and you're not much older than I am! _Half a year!_ It's not that much of a difference! Why do you have to act like this?"

Their bickering continued as he stepped into the house quietly. He took off his shoes, and stepped away from the door slightly. He set his messenger bag down, and watched in silence.

Tomoyo set her tail belt down on the table, and took her cat ears off as well. When she'd put them down, she turned defiant eyes on her cousin,

"You're being ridiculous! It's _Halloween,_ Kurogane! I have as much right to dress up as anyone else here does!"

"And I'm saying that you're not going out like that!"

Frustrated, Tomoyo turned herself around, and went back out the door. The raven stepped forwards – as if to follow her, but Sakura told him to stay.

It was then that he noticed the brunette, with the emerald green eyes – standing inside of his house,

"What the hell are you doing in here? Why do people just let themselves in like this is some goddamn par-"

"—Relax, Kurogane," the male answered, pulling off his brunette locks, to reveal a head of blonde hair,

"It's just me."

"...Fai?" Kurogane looked stressed and confused.

"I'm wearing coloured contacts...And this is just a wig..." The blonde chucked the previously mentioned wig on to a table,

"I'll go talk to Tomoyo."

**TT**

She was fine when she walked. She didn't feel cold when she walked.

But she wasn't walking now.

She was sitting on the porch, staring at nothing, and letting the defiance in her eyes shine through clearly. She was _not_ a _child,_ and she would not be treated as such.

Warmth draped over her shoulders, and Fai plopped down to the right of her.

"Did my cousin send you out here to try and talk some sense into me?"

"Kurogane didn't ask me to do anything. I came out here on my own." He'd given her the cloak of his outfit, and was now sitting in a long sleeved black shirt, matching pants, and a red and yellow tie.

Tomoyo didn't answer, but she did sigh and wrap herself up in the cloak. It was warm, and it smelled of the blonde...He had a nice scent.

"You smell good," Tomoyo noted, giggling slightly.

The blonde male quirked a brow,

"...Thanks?"

She continued to laugh when she saw his expression, and he smiled in return. They stayed that way until her laughter died down...Then his smile turned sad, and he set his gaze on the moon,

"So...What's _really_ bothering you?"

She didn't speak, but she looked to the moon as well.

_Silence enveloped them._

"Tomoyo-chan?" He turned his attention to her...Only to find tears rolling down her cheeks. They glistened in the moonlight, and his heart ached. He wanted to help her in any way that he could...

"Tomoyo-chan...What's wrong?"

She blinked, and it sent more tears cascading down her cheeks,

"I feel...I feel so ridiculous...For crying...Because I know what you'll say...When I tell you what's wrong..." She smiled sadly, keeping her eyes on the moon.

"...Tomoyo-chan...I-"

"—He's _changing,_ Fai...And not for the better..." She didn't turn to face him, but he _did_ look away. He knew who she was referring to. How could he not?

_Clearly_ she meant _Kurogane._

"It would be selfish of me...To ask for you to fix things...I know that...But would it _also_ be selfish of me to ask...To ask you to _talk_ to him? To _really_ talk to him?"

The blonde hesitated slightly, before sighing,

"That's not selfish at all, Tomoyo-chan..." He leaned back, lying himself down on the front porch. She surprised him by lying down beside him – resting her head on his chest.

He draped an arm around her, feeling guilty for causing her pain.

**TT**

When they returned to the inside of the house, Tomoyo handed Fai his cloak, which he tugged on. Then he grabbed his wig, and his messenger bag, and headed into the bathroom.

Tomoyo and Kurogane barely looked at one another as she pulled on her cat ears and attached the tail belt to her waist.

When the blonde returned – wig back in place – he had finished up his costume. He was wearing glasses that had the lenses knocked out, there was a marking across his forehead, and he was carrying something in his hand...

Sakura took one look at him, and burst into a fit of giggles. Tomoyo whipped out her digital camera, and started shooting a video,

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter! What do you have to say in response to the allegations that you were with Cho Chang last night?"

Fai lifted his wand, and held it up as a microphone,

"Well Cat Woman...I would like to respond to these allegations straightforwardly!"

By now, the others were laughing, and watching as Fai kept a straight face.

"And what do you have to say in response to these allegations?" Tomoyo questioned, clearly enjoying this.

"My response to these allegations is as follows; I was not with Cho Chang last night...Or any other night for that matter...Why you ask? Well, because she's a woman!"

"Hold on Mr. Potter! If you're denying Cho Chang because she's a woman...Then what about the allegations that you had an affair with Hermione Granger? And what about the rumours that are spreading, that you kissed Ginny Weasley?" Tomoyo tried to keep her voice steady, as their friends laughed all around them...

"Well there are a couple of reasons behind why I would not be with either of these women. Hermione is not only a woman...But she's my best friends girlfriend! That's just wrong. And as for Ginny Weasley...I didn't kiss her! _She _kissed _me!_ And I could never be with her – because everyone knows that gingers don't have souls."

Tomoyo's hand shook slightly as she tried to regain control of her laughter,

"So who...Who are you dating then?"

Fai barely hesitated. He cleared his throat,

"I need to come clean. I feel like now is the time to do so." The laughter subsided a bit – as everyone felt like this was a serious moment.

"I've been hiding it all along...And I feel like now is as good a time as any to tell everyone the truth." There was a short pause, as Fai managed to – somehow – keep himself under control. He inhaled deeply, then sighed,

"I'm...I'm dating Draco Malfoy!"

His friends erupted in laughter, and Fai walked past Tomoyo – holding up a hand, to block the camera,

"No more questions!" He left the house, and Tomoyo turned her camera around to face herself instead – the door was in clear visibility behind her.

"Mr. Potter is gay, apparently!"

"No shit!" Fai called, poking his head back inside.

Tomoyo ended the video, and collapsed to her knees – laughing. Sakura was leaning against one of the walls – also laughing. Both girls were nearly in _tears..._

When they finally managed to regain some of their composure, Tomoyo got back to her feet, and started up a new video.

Only to have Fai poke his head back in the door, with a call of,

"Are you homo's coming, or not?"

_It was going to be a long night._

**TT**

He was trying to figure it out.

After they had returned to the house, the blonde had changed out of his costume, and back into regular clothing. And then Fai had asked for him to take a walk around the block with him, but they were already hitting the homestretch...He could see his house at the end of this road, and they were a quarter of the way there...

_And the blonde wasn't speaking._

"Ooi," maybe he could get him to start talking...

"...What have they told you...?" Fai felt stupid for asking...But he really needed to know.

"...What have they told me? About what?" The raven quirked a brow, confused.

The blonde stared, bewildered. He'd just opened the most dangerous of doors...And now there would be no chance of closing it...

"...Nothing. It's not important." The lie was weak. He tried not to focus on it.

"Liar...Tell me the truth." Kurogane had stopped walking, and now Fai stopped too. He swallowed down his fears, and turned to face the raven – his eyes already betraying him by slowly filling themselves up with tears...

"...I'm sick..."

"Do you want me to drive you home, or-?"

"—No..._No_...Kurogane, I mean...I mean I'm _sick_." The blonde stressed the word, hoping that the raven would understand what it was that he was trying to say.

"Well, have you been taking your medication?" The red eyed male looked so _concerned..._

Oh God how he missed him. But he couldn't give in to that side of himself...He needed to tell the raven the truth.

"...I...I've stopped responding to treatments...The pills...They don't do anything for me anymore..." Fai inhaled deeply, and sighed on his exhale.

Kurogane's eyes grew,

"How long have you...?" He trailed off, unsure of how he wanted to finish the sentence. He wasn't even sure that he wanted to know the answer.

"That day...At the cottage...When Kamui flipped out and broke some dishes..."

"But you said-!"

"—I lied!" Fai met his gaze,

"I lied...I didn't want to tell anyone...I didn't want my friends to treat me any differently..."

"_Including me?_" The raven was feeling it...The shock of the news...That familiar sorrow creeping up on his soul...Creeping into the very depths of his heart...

"_Especially you!_" Fai announced,

"You were_ always_ _worrying_ about me...Even though you _knew_ that I was _dying!_ You didn't want me to risk myself in anything – not in cliff jumping, or anything else...And you _know_ that you would have been even _stricter_ if you'd _known_ the truth!" The blonde tried to blink back tears, but some managed to escape him. They burned slow trails down his cheeks.

Kurogane ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands tightly. He didn't know what to do...Didn't know what to _say..._

Fai swallowed hard, speaking past the lump in his throat,

"You know, I was getting along with everything _fine_...I accepted my fate, I was_ ready_ to _die_...And then _you_ happened!" He wiped at his eyes viciously,

"I was_ born_ to _die,_ Kurogane...It's been my curse from the start...And it'll be my curse until the very end..." He met the males gaze briefly, before he took off running – unable to watch the raven looking so distraught.

He never should have opened his mouth. Never should have mentioned it. Even as his friends stepped out of the house, he hopped into his car, pulled out of the driveway, and slammed down on the gas. His car ripped to life, sped away from the people who cared too damn much...Away from the love, the affection...

He was heading back to the silence, and the inescapable emptiness of his own apartment.

**TT**

He slammed his apartment door behind himself – locking it. He threw down his messenger bag, kicked off his shoes, and peeled off his sweater.

He could see his arms – _hideous arms_...Blue and purple marks scattered along both of them...Bruises from his Father...

He was so tired of this madness...So tired of pretending to be alright, as his world slipped through the cracks between his fingers.

He went to his kitchen, and tore through the drawers – carelessly dumping contents onto the floor. He needed to find his release...He needed to be set free from the madness...

When he found what he was looking for, he retreated to his bed, and sat down. He found his picture – one of the ones that his Father had taken from the house – and looked down to it as he held the object in his hand. It would be his release.

_He would be free._

He'd written his letters. He'd done it weeks ago. And he'd written the location of these letters, on the back of the picture that he was staring at now. He'd been a coward about completing the final task...But now he was going to finish it. He was going to finish the final piece of this rush of madness.

Setting the picture on his pillow – out of the way of the mess that he was about to create – he swallowed down his fears...

_...And drew the knife across the flesh of his arm._

**TT**

They'd ridden over on Raiko's motorcycle.

He'd tried calling the blonde three times already – to no avail. And now, they were outside of his door, knocking.

"Fai? Hey, can you hear me? You home?" He knocked a little harder,

"Hey, Fai? You're home, right? I saw your car downstairs..." He tried opening the door, only to find it locked. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his infamous lock-pick kit. It was his talent. Level-headed though he was, he was also prepared to bend the rules to fit his needs...

He worked his magic, waiting for that telltale click. When he heard it, he stuffed the kit back into his pocket, and turned the handle – pushing the door open.

"...Oh shit...Fai!" He rushed into the apartment – not bothering with removing his shoes,

"Fai! Hey! _Hey!_ Speak to me...Say something!" He kneeled beside the male – who was sprawled out on the bed – a knife on the floor...

"Shooter! Call for an ambulance! Fai! _Fai!_ Can you hear me?"

The blonde groaned, semi-conscious.

"...He's not dead...He's not dead...Phone...Where's his...?" He found it on the bedside table, and shakily went through his contact list. He remembered the name. He was looking for it now in the list...But it wasn't there.

Sakura's was though, so he called her instead.

TT

Her phone went off, and she sighed, picking it up. She checked the name, rolled her eyes, and answered it,

"What the _hell_ were you _thinking?_" She paused, confused, as she listened to the voice speaking to her from the other end,

"...Raiko? Wha...Why are you calling me from Fai's cell phone? Where are you?" She listened to the panicked voice on the other end, in silence.

"...Why do you need to speak to Kurogane?" She cast a worried glance towards the raven haired male. As she listened, she walked towards the red eyed male, and – when Raiko had finished speaking – she handed him the cell phone. The raven stared at it for a moment, before putting it up to his ear,

"What?" He listened in silence, before answering once again,

"And that would be?"

After receiving his answer, he was met with a dial tone. He stared at Sakura's cell phone blankly for a moment, before rounding everyone up, and heading out.

_They had somewhere to be._

**TT**

When she answered, sounding mad, he knew that Fai had done something to piss her off...

"Sakura? Sakura is that you?"

She sounded confused as she answered. She recognized his voice, but she couldn't figure out why he was calling from the blondes cell phone.

"I...I'm in his apartment...Shooter's with me...Sakura, I-I need to talk to Kurogane..."

When she questioned him on his request, he swallowed hard, trying to maintain his control,

"There's no time to explain that...I need to speak to Kurogane, _now_..."

When a gruff voice answered him moments later, he tried to keep his voice steady,

"...Kurogane? This is Raiko...I...I'm with Fai right now, in his apartment...But the location of that place currently doesn't matter...What you need to know is where it is that you need to go..."

When the male questioned him on his words, he answered in a manner that he knew would be understood immediately,

"The hospital. We'll meet you there."

**TT**

They were directed into the waiting room, when they arrived at the hospital. Raiko approached them immediately – looking unstable,

"Sorry...I couldn't find your name on his list, so I called Sakura...I was in a panic, and..." He trailed, sighed,

"Fai's in the hospital...Shoo-" He paused, cleared his throat – realizing that he shouldn't use the nickname in a hospital,

"—My boyfriend and I went to Fai's apartment, to check on him...He wasn't answering his phone...So...We got there, and..." Raiko shifted, tugged at his hair,

"...His arms...He tried to...To..." He couldn't say it. Not with one of his best friends lying in a hospital bed. Not with the thought that they could've been too late...

"...He tried to kill himself," an eerily angelic voice finished the statement, as an arm curled around Raiko's waist.

Sakura stared at him, remembering his face. He'd changed a bit since she'd last seen him...But she knew that one thing remained the same.

_He was carrying a weapon._

He nodded to her. It was slight, an acknowledgement. Though she wasn't sure if he was acknowledging the fact that he knew her...Or the fact that he was indeed armed.

Chi and Sakura had to sit down – as did Kamui. The others stood – leaving the rest of the chairs open to people who may actually _need_ them. Fuuma kneeled beside Kamui – holding his hands.

When a Nurse came down and told them that the blonde was stable, and would be fine...That he just needed to rest...The tension in the air shattered.

Chi buried her face in her hands, relieved, and Sakura sighed, wiping away her tears.

**TT**

It was the middle of the night, but he didn't care. He was here to settle this mess, and settle it he would – in the only way that he knew how.

_With his fists._

He kept his hand over the peephole – blocking the view of the person standing on the other side of the door. He listened to the reluctant sigh, the grumbling, the locks clicking...

When the door opened slightly, the blonde on the other side, seemed to clue in to who he was, and tried to shut the door again.

_But he wasn't having any of that._

He stuck his foot in the door, and used brute force to shove it open wider, pushing his way in. Even when the blonde yelled at him to get out, he only chuckled darkly...Before sending a foot into the males stomach – causing him to double over.

He hit the floor, coughing and groaning. While the blonde was down, the raven flicked on the lights, before approaching him.

"...You...You're trespassing! I'll...I'll call...The police!"

"I'm so afraid," the raven muttered dryly, glaring. He sent another kick into the males gut – causing him to call out in pain.

"What's wrong? Does that hurt?" He kneeled next to the blonde, gripping his chin,

"Yeah, I look familiar, don't I? Seen me before? In this, maybe?" He held up the picture. The picture he'd taken from the house...

A tan hand gripped the pale males neck, tightly...Squeezing...

"Give me _one_ good reason, behind why I shouldn't kill your ass here and now."

The blonde gasped, trying to get his air back.

"Well go ahead then, give me a reason...Make it good. Oh, and don't bother with prison sentences – I couldn't care less about all of that."

When the raven didn't get an answer, he looked to the males expression, then pulled out a small mirror – one that had clearly been broken off of a make-up kit.

He owed Primera for that.

He held the mirror out, allowing the blonde to see his reflection. The big, blue eyes were widened in fear...

"Looks familiar, doesn't it? Want to know why?" Here the male pulled a couple of pictures from his pocket. He held up the first one, and the blonde looked away.

The raven lifted him up off the floor slightly, before slamming him back down – liking the satisfactory thudding noise.

"You'll look where I tell you to look!" He held out the picture,

"That's why the fear looks familiar. You've seen it on him. You see it in his eyes whenever you come around!" He dropped the picture, pocketed the mirror. Then he set his attention back on the blonde, released his neck...

He got back to his feet, sending another good kick to the males gut. When the blonde cried out in pain, the raven narrowed his eyes at him,

"Hurts, doesn't it? Hurts to be out of control...Terrified...Attacked...All because someone hates you...And I'll tell you something; he doesn't even know that I'm here."

The blonde cast startled blue eyes on the raven.

"Want to know why he's completely unaware of me coming here?" He stepped down on the blondes arm, grinding it into the floor – listening to the satisfying cries of pain,

"Because he's _unconscious._ He was miserable, alone, depressed...And he tried to _kill himself._ He was going to let himself _bleed_ to death. We have _you_ to thank for that. He knew that he was _dying_...That every single day, he was _lucky_ to be _breathing_...But he was _happy_ with us. _With me._ And then _you_ showed up, and ruined that happiness." He applied more pressure to the males arm – listening to his screams.

"He looks a lot like you, you know...It's _easy_ for me to hurt you...But I could_ never_ hurt _him._ But I guess you'd never understand that, would you? Because you can attack him ruthlessly...And you still have the nerve to smile at him." He freed the males arm from beneath his foot, but only long enough to position it on the opposite arm.

As he screamed, the raven landed him a good punch in the jaw,

"Shut-up!" He ground down on the males arm, harder,

"...What would your _wife_ think of you? If she knew you were still abusing her baby...Her youngest child...Something tells me that she didn't realize it...Didn't know that it was you...Thought it was bullies, for a long time...Was too sick to do anything to help by the time she did realize it...How pitiful..."

The raven finally let him go, landing him one last kick to the stomach,

"Fun fact for you, Taijo; something I learned. When you have twins, and one winds up gay? There's a seventy percent chance that they'll_ both_ be gay..." The raven chuckled darkly, heading back out the door,

"Guess what your _other son_ never told you?"

He left him hanging, knowing that it had been more than enough of a message.

As the door closed behind him, Taijo rolled onto his side, and spat out some blood. He didn't have the energy to pick himself up off of the floor. He fought off the darkness for a while...But eventually he couldn't hold it back any longer.

He fell into an uneasy sleep as his haunting memories plagued his mind.

**TT**

**(A.N: **Alright, because I have a lot to say, I'm going to separate what I want to say, by categorizing it all:

Harry Potter:

I went to Detroit recently – had to cross the border to get there – and I went to Hot Topic. Bought myself the Horcrux ring! YAY! I was wearing it as I typed out some of the chapter – starting at the Halloween bit. I _finally _got to see Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1 tonight! WOO! It was EPIC. Can't wait for the final part...Though I think I'll cry...I grew up watching the Harry Potter movies...I was 10 when the first one came out...I'm 19 now, and still love the movies. In fact, when I was in the theatres tonight...The Harry Potter theme started playing, and I got this _huge_ grin on my face...I am SUCH a nerd...

**PLEASE NO SPOILERS IN YOUR COMMENTS.**

Also, when it comes down to what Fai was saying about the girls...I'd like to make this perfectly clear...I NEVER pair him with any girls from the movies...

If he were to be with ANY of the girls from Hogwarts...I'd pair him with Luna Lovegood. Why? Well, because Hermione is with Ron, I hate Cho Chang – don't ask me why – and the whole Ginny thing creeps me out! I mean, he seems to see Ron as a brother, right? Mrs. Weasley treats him as a son...And then he treats the Weasley's like they're his family...So why is he making out with GINNY? So I'd put him with Luna Lovegood, if he had to be with a girl...She's cute, she's hilarious, and she understand him. And she doesn't seem sisterly.

But of course, because I'm a fangirl, and I like slasher pairings...I like Harry with Draco. They're gorgeous and complicated together and I love it. I blame one of my friends...It's all her fault.

**Seriousness:**

I know that Fai is an extremely depressing character...His life is sad, and he decides to hurt himself...I would like to make it clear – in case anyone is wondering – I'm not depressed, and I don't cut...Never have, never will. I'd also like to reassure you all...If you guys ever need someone to talk to...I'll listen. PM me, if you need to. Alright?

**Fanfic Question:**

Do you guys feel better now that Fai's Father – Taijo – finally got his ass kicked by Kurogane? I sure hope so.

**Song choices for this chapter: **

**I Dare You To Move ; Switchfoot.**

**Hero ; Skillet.**

**I'm done rambling now! R&R? I appreciate it!)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**(A.N:** Alright, it's been nearly two weeks since I last updated, and it's taken me a couple of days to finish this chapter, so I thought I'd give you an update now...Even though, I passed out tonight while writing some of this, and woke up – laptop still turned on, and resting on my stomach... XD That happens a lot. Anyways, enough rambling. _'These are thoughts.'_ **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. **R&R? I'd appreciate it!)**

**TT**

_He awoke to the sound of beeping._

There was a sharp pain in one of his arms...And a dulled pain in both of his arms. There was light all around him – coming in through the windows, and shining down on him from the ceiling...

Even though he kept his eyes closed, he could tell that there was a brightness, all around him.

'_Did I die...?'_ The thought coursed through him in a heavy haze...And he heard the beeping increase slightly.

'_What's that...?'_ He fought against his eyelids, wanting them open. But they stayed sealed...So he tried opening his mouth instead. A groggy groan escaped his lips, and it took him a few minutes to realize that _he'd_ made the sound.

"Fai?"

He realized that someone was holding his hand...It wasn't much bigger than that of his own...It wasn't feverishly hot, either...But the voice that called out to him was familiar...

"...Raiko?"

He heard the male sniffle, which registered in some deep part of his brain. Was he _crying?_

"You're awake...You're such an ass..." Raiko chuckled, using his free hand to wipe at his eyes.

"...What happened?" He was still trying to make himself understand. He was so tired...And lost...

Fingers brushed his bangs away from his face,

"Shooter and I," Raiko spoke the name quietly – he didn't want the staff to hear the nickname,

"We rode over to your apartment, on my motorcycle. When we got there, you were unconscious...But you woke up a little bit when I spoke to you...You _scared me,_ Fai...I thought you were _dead_..."

"...Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital...We called an ambulance as soon as we got to your apartment..."

The blonde lie in silence for a few moments. He managed to get his eyes open – wincing at the light that shone down on him. Knitting his eyebrows at the ache the lights were causing in his forehead, he turned his attention to Raiko.

The raven stared at him for a moment, before he chuckled, and smoothed out the scowl,

"That reminds me...He's downstairs..."

"...He?" Blue eyes took on the expression of confusion, and Raiko smiled, pulling out the picture. The same one that his Father had stolen from the house. The same one that he'd written the location of the letters on.

The first picture taken on Kurogane's birthday.

It dawned on him then, that Raiko was telling him that Kurogane was downstairs.

"They all are," the raven continued, setting the picture down on the bedside table,

"Chi, Sakura, Syaoran...All of your friends."

"...Sakura's going to _kill_ me..."

Raiko laughed at that, and turned to Shooter,

"Go and tell them that he's finally awake, okay babe? They need to know that he's regained consciousness."

The taller raven nodded silently, and left. Raiko turned his attention back to Fai,

"There's something else that you should know..."

**TT**

Once Shooter informed the group that Fai had woken up, he could feel their tension shattering. The previous night, they'd been calmer upon hearing that the male was stable...But now, he was awake, and that made them feel much more relaxed.

Kamui put his face in his hands, trying to regulate his breathing. Fuuma was kneeling beside him, rubbing slow circles along his back, comforting him...He'd forgotten how good it felt, to have the taller raven there, to hold him, or comfort him...To have him care...

_He missed him._

Shooter pulled out his cell phone when he felt it vibrate. Flipping it open, he read the message, then closed his phone,

"Chi?"

When she acknowledged him, he offered her a smile,

"Room 203. Take Hideki up with you."

**TT**

Raiko sat with him until his sister arrived. Then the male hustled away, heading downstairs.

Chi sat down in his place, and Hideki stood next to her.

"...I'm mad at you..." She managed to murmur,

"You said you'd never go back to this...And then you pulled a move like _that_...?"

"I didn't go back to anything, Chi...I was trying to leave – _forever._ I left notes and everything...I wasn't going back to an old habit...I was ready to die..."

"You can't go, okay?" She took hold of his hand with both of hers, her voice was unsteady,

"You need to stay here, with me. You need to stay here, and be my baby brother. You need to smile, and laugh, and enjoy your life to the fullest...You need to do as many things as you can, while you have the time to do them...You have to...You have to live your life the way you want to live it...Not according to anyone else's rules, or expectations...I need you to stay here...You're all I have left...You're my last bit of family..." She was crying in the end. She'd tried to hold it back, but she hadn't been able to...

"...Chi..." He squeezed her hand – it was the best he could do with his arms in their current conditions and positions.

She tried to regain her composure...But it took time. Fai had been living in a deep pool of misery for so long...And then Kurogane had shown up, and he'd pulled his head above the surface...And then their Father had shown up, and pushed him back down again – drowning him slowly.

And all she could do was watch, uselessly. No matter what she did, or said, no one ever seemed to listen to her. It hurt, knowing that you couldn't fix anything...Even when you tried your hardest...

"Chi...I'm so sorry..."

It was one thing to be so messed up himself...And to let the others see it...But to drag his sister down under as well?

_No_...He didn't want her to feel this way. He wanted her to be _happy_...And he'd hauled off and made her cry.

_He needed to fix things._

**TT**

Kamui and Fuuma had been instructed to go up together after Chi and Hideki had returned to the waiting room.

Kamui sat down in the chair next to Fai's bed when he stepped into the blondes room, and Fuuma sat on the edge of the bed itself.

"Hey you two..." He barely managed to get the words out.

Kamui had that look in his eyes again. That _lost child_ look. He didn't seem to know if he should be crying, or completely pissed off...His eyes were glazed over, as if he didn't quite comprehend what was going on.

Fai felt the guilt rushing through him, and turned to look at Fuuma.

_It was equally devastating._

Fuuma was smiling – happy to see that his best friend was alright. But his eyes...They showed the relief for Fai; knowing that he was okay, and that he wasn't going to die – at least, not from this – but there was something else there as well...It was a longing. A deep, dark pain that seemed to lurk in Fuuma's head, and in his heart. _ Especially_ his heart.

_He was missing Kamui. _

Missing everything about the male; the good, and the bad. But Fai only noticed because he'd seen how deeply Fuuma had been hurt by Kamui calling off their engagement. Which meant that the odds of Kamui noticing – especially in his current condition...

The thought trailed, and the second wave of guilt crashed in to Fai.

"I'm sorry you guys...For everything..." He said the last part, with his eyes locked on Fuuma's gaze. The taller raven nodded in silence, acknowledging the fact that the blonde felt horrible for what had happened.

"Kamui? Are you okay?" Fai turned his attention to the shorter male – who stared at him blindly. The male blinked. Again...Once more...And some of his focus came back,

"...What?"

"Are you okay?" The blonde questioned gently, feeling terrible for hurting the male so deeply.

"...I don't know...I'm mad at you...But then I'm relieved, because you're alive...And then I'm mad...And then I'm confused..."

"Confused about what?"

"...You asked for us to come up together...Even though you know that we're not..." Kamui trailed off. The pain ripped through him once again. He felt terrible...He'd called off his engagement – his wedding engagement – and then he had the _nerve_ to feel like _this?_ To still be hopelessly in love with Fuuma? It was his own fault...He'd been mad at the male for not stopping Fai from leaving that night...Mad that he hadn't been told about it until it was too late...And then he'd thrown down his ring.

"...Together," Fuuma finished the sentence for him, and Kamui ducked his head, hating himself.

"I think he was hoping that I'd prevent you from sending him into a coma," the taller raven teased, and Kamui smiled slightly. Fai chuckled,

"Yes, I was actually..." It hurt the blonde to see them this way. They were sitting close enough together...But they were really so far away from each other. The only good that had come out of Fai staying away from the group for so long, was the fact that he didn't have to see the hurt in the eyes of two of his best friends nearly as much as the others did.

**TT**

He hesitated.

He was waiting for him, just beyond this door. In a bed that wasn't his. In a bed that probably wasn't even _comfortable._ His arms were wrapped up as if he were a damned _mummy..._

He knew that he didn't have a choice. He would have to go inside sooner or later...And standing in the hallway wasn't _getting_ _him_ anywhere, and it wasn't _solving anything._

It _was_ however, making people_ stare_ at him in _utter confusion._

Sighing, he stepped into the room, and approached the chair, sitting down. He didn't look at him. He stared at his own feet instead. This wasn't solving anything either...But at least he'd made it in to the damn room...

"...Kurogane..." The voice was sad, unstable...Gods how he wanted to stabilize him once again. Anchor him down to this planet and make him understand that people cared about him...

"Ah," he acknowledged the male saying his name, but he didn't raise his head. His eyes grazed over the males bandaged arm, and then he averted his gaze again.

Dammit, he was such a _wreck..._

"...How long have you...Been here...?" He was referring to when it was that the raven had entered the hospital.

"As soon as they allowed visitors this morning. Been in the waiting room all damn day, waiting for you to wake up. Your buddies came up here to keep an eye on you, when they arrived..." _Buddies._ A clear reference to Raiko and Shooter. He didn't know them all that well, so he wasn't sure how close the blonde really felt to them these days.

"..." Fai didn't know how to phrase it. It was sitting there, right on the tip of his tongue...But he didn't know how to word it...He swallowed hard,

"...Is what Raiko said true?"

Here the raven looked up to him – met his gaze,

"Depends on what he said."

"...About...About my Dad..."

The smirk on Kurogane's face said it all for him. Fai swallowed hard again,

"But...Why would you...? I mean, he's just going to..." He couldn't even form a full sentence anymore.

"_Why?_ That's easy. I was tired of his bullshit. And no, he won't. I've made it quite clear already that I'm not afraid of his threats, and I'm not afraid of _killing_ his ass."

"...I'm _dying_...Why does it matter if he hurts me in the mean time?"

"That's the point. You're already dying, so why the hell should he make you suffer on top of that?"

"Why does any of this matter? Kurogane, I'm going to _die,_ alright? _I'm dying!_ It's plain, simple, and you won't let it rest! Why do you have to be involved?"

"Because I love you, dammit!"

Fai's voice cut off on him, as he went to argue further. His argument was lost, and he couldn't even remember what it was that he'd been about to say. It didn't seem to matter anymore. Kurogane had told him what he already knew...Reminded him of something that he'd tried to force himself in to thinking had all been a dream...Some crazy dream that he'd concocted as a means of satisfying some inner need...But it_ wasn't_ a dream. It had been real all along, and he'd always known it deep down.

He averted his eyes,

"...I'm dying, and that's all there is to it. You should just leave now, because you're just wasting your ti-"

"—You know what I think? I think that maybe...Maybe you're just too scared that someone might actually want to _be_ with you."

Fai met his gaze again, trying to act strong,

"And why would that scare me?"

"Because you want to be with me too."

Fai couldn't think of anything to say in response to that. Kurogane's gaze was intense, and he was watching him for a reaction...Waiting to see what he would say in response. But he was at a loss...Because Kurogane was right. It wasn't just his Father...Fai himself was afraid of being with the raven...Afraid of being with anyone romantically...Because he'd been doomed from the start.

_What would happen when he __**died...?**_

"...I was meant to _die,_ Kurogane...It's been my curse from the start, and it'll be my curse until the very end..."

The raven scoffed lightly at this, and his expression intensified,

"'_Meant to die,'_ is that_ really_ what you think? _Idiot._ If anything, you were meant to be with me."

The blonde averted his gaze once more. He could feel his heart swelling...Could feel it racing...Could feel his eyes watering...

Then he heard the raven chuckle. He turned to face him, and was taken by surprise as the taller male enveloped his lips in a kiss.

_His heart beat increased as his lips responded._

He'd missed this...The warmth, the taste, the affection...And when Kurogane pulled away gently, and chuckled, he was instantly confused.

"You might want to calm back down again, or else a Nurse might come in to check up on you..."

"And why would she do that...?" He was confused now, as he tried to get his breath back.

Still amused, Kurogane nodded in the direction of the heart monitor...And Fai finally clued in to his heartbeat being broadcasted to anyone who was close enough to hear the beeping noises...

He looked away – blushing a deep shade of pink.

**TT**

When Fai was finally released from the hospital a few days later – his arms still covered in bandages – he was told to take it easy for the next two weeks. No exercising his arms...No trying to reach high places...He was to keep them as low as possible, and to keep them wrapped as much as possible for the next two weeks. Even though the scars had closed up, he knew that it would take some time for them to heal.

He was sent into the washroom. Raiko had brought him a change of clothes – the clothes he'd been in originally, had been ruined with blood. And no one wanted to see him wearing blood stained clothing. But Fai had a dilemma. He managed to dress the lower half of his body just fine...But he opened the door, shirt in hand.

He was staring at it, as if staring would somehow help to fix his situation.

"Fai," that was Fuuma, who caught the blondes attention. He was unbuttoning the dress shirt that he'd put on that morning – revealing the t-shirt that he'd worn beneath it. When he freed himself from the dress shirt, he smiled, and proceeded with helping Fai into it. The blonde did up the buttons quietly.

"This makes it easier for you. You don't have to lift your arms to put it on."

"Thanks Fuuma." The blue eyed male smiled, finishing up with the buttons.

They left the hospital as soon as they could, and picked up a bite to eat on the way home.

And – once everyone had finished their meals...

The couples in the room, moved together. Arms wrapped around bodies, hands were held...Fai watched in silence, wondering what he should do.

But he didn't have to think about it for long, as a warm arm wrapped around his waist. He blushed, liking the feeling of being in the ravens arms. It was familiar...It was comfortable...

_It was safe._

"Wow...He's bigger than I thought he was..." Raiko murmured from his position next to Shooter – who had an arm around him.

Tomoyo chuckled at this,

"They're very different in sizes, aren't they? Fai's so tiny, and Kurogane looks like he could break him in half..."

"That's a dark, mental image," Shooter spoke up, quietly; his voice still eerily angelic.

Fai laughed, as did the rest of the gang. He was feeling so good, because he was home. He was safe, and home, and happy...And he had Kurogane, who was holding on to him...

But when he looked to Fuuma, and Kamui – sitting close to each other, but with some space in between...

A rush of guilt flowed through him, and he looked away again, quickly. Tomoyo noticed,

"I think that we should celebrate Fai's return!" She jumped up to her feet as she made her announcement.

"And how do you propose we do that?" Kurogane arched a brow, knowing that his cousin tended to take things out of hand.

"I think we can help there," Raiko spoke up now, as he got to his feet – his boyfriend following right behind him.

"We were talking to the others in the waiting room, while you were up in Fai's hospital room," The amethyst eyed male added, looking to Kurogane, before he grinned,

"So we went to get some celebratory drinks – based on what the others told us."

"...You bought alcohol?" Fai questioned, already knowing the answer.

"You don't _look_ twenty..." Kurogane murmured, arching a brow.

"Of _course_ I'm twenty...My fake ID says so!"

The taller raven stared at him for a few minutes, before turning his attention to his boyfriend,

"Your friends concern me."

Fai couldn't help but laugh.

**TT**

Everyone was crashing at Kurogane's house for the night, as almost everyone had been drinking. And everyone had been so happy about Fai being alright, and home once again – that they didn't want to leave.

Plenty of people had gone upstairs to bed already, but some of the group were still downstairs. Fai wasn't drinking much. Kurogane, Fuuma, and Shooter had each had one drink, Raiko was finishing his second, and Kamui...Kamui was sleeping, because he'd had _too much_ to drink.

"You guys okay with sleeping on couches?" Kurogane questioned, looking over to Raiko and Shooter.

"Sure thing. We'll only need one couch though...We're used to sleeping next to each other...And if I'm away from him – he'll go into panic mode," the amethyst eyed male chuckled when his boyfriend shook his head.

The emerald eyed male had nothing to say in response to that. Fai offered him a small smile. Fuuma decided to speak up,

"I could understand why though...I mean, you're a professional gunman right? So when Raiko is away from you, you probably assume the worst...You must've grown up in one hell of a neighbourhood..."

"It's not a place that I'd ever want to return to, I know that much...Where I grew up, you _had_ to carry a weapon...It meant _staying alive._ Women with guns in the backs of their baby's strollers...In their purses...Men with guns in their clothing...Knives attached to ankles...Hidden in the upper backs of peoples shirts...It was a dangerous neighbourhood..." Here he flashed the fact that he had a gun hidden within his clothing.

"Always armed..." Fuuma remembered Sakura saying so.

"Never leave the house without at least one gun...And it's always loaded."

"That side table has a drawer that pulls out. If you're keeping a gun in my house, at least put it where it's out of sight," Kurogane murmured, unsure of whether or not he should be surprised by the weapon.

Shooter nodded,

"I'll be sure to put it there before I go to sleep."

Raiko yawned, and stretched his arms over his head.

"We should head upstairs," Fai whispered,

"Everyone could use the sleep."

His boyfriend didn't argue. As the two got to their feet, so did Fuuma,

"I'm going to wake Kamui, and get him to sleep upstairs. He'll be worse than usual in the morning if he sleeps on a couch all night."

"Will you be alright getting him up on your own, Fuuma?" That was Fai, who was concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be alright. I'm pretty sure he'll listen."

"Alright...Hey, Raiko, Shooter? How about you two come upstairs for a bit...Check out our room, and the studio attachment..."

Neither of the males questioned the blonde. They simply got to their feet, and followed him up the stairs.

When Fuuma heard the bedroom door close upstairs, he sighed. He'd been left with a passed out Kamui. A passed out, drunken, ex-fiancée. There were plenty of people in the world that would abuse this situation...But he wasn't about to. Instead, he shook him – gently,

"Kamui...Hey, Kamui...Get up..."

The shorter raven groaned in his sleep.

"Kamui...You have to get up now..."

"Mmm...Fuuma?" The shorter raven opened his eyes slightly. They were glazed with sleep, and alcohol.

"Yeah, it's me. You've got to go upstairs to bed now, okay?"

"Mmm..." The blue eyed male shifted in his semi-consciousness,

"...Why can't I just...Sleep here?"

"Well, two reasons; the first one being the fact that if you sleep on a couch, you'll get a kink in your neck, or your shoulder...And it'll hurt you all day," Fuuma paused, giving Kamui a moment to soak it in, before he continued,

"And the second reason would be the fact that you're on my bed." He chuckled once he'd said it, but Kamui didn't smile. Instead, he opened his glazed over eyes, and set them on Fuuma – not seeing quite clearly, and not comprehending.

"...Why are you going to sleep...On a couch...? Are...Are you mad at me...?"

_He was more far gone than anyone else could have imagined._

"No...No Kamui, I'm not mad at you. However, I do need to sleep on the couch tonight...Alright?"

"...You're not mad...?" He sounded so _concerned..._

Fuuma smiled slightly,

"Of course I'm not mad."

"...Then why won't you sleep upstairs...With me...? I feel like...Like you're angry with me...For fighting with you...Like you don't...Want me...Anymore..." Kamui was admitting his deeper feelings – something that he'd never been too good at doing in the first place. And he was only doing it, because he was tired and drunk...

"Kamui...I'm not mad." Fuuma kneeled beside the couch, and brushed the shorter ravens bangs out of his eyes.

"...Promise?" He needed the reassurance.

"I promise."

"...Then...Why won't you come upstairs...?"

"Because...You're forgiving me while you're _drunk_...And I don't think you're ready to forgive me while you're _sober_...At least, not yet..."

"...I forgave you the night that you left our apartment...I didn't want you to leave..." Here the shorter raven smiled slightly,

"...I woke up, thinking you were in the living room...'Cause the TV was off...And you're the only other person...With a key..."

"...Kamui..." Fuuma sighed. He should have known that the shorter raven wanted him back. A part of him had thought that he was just being hopeful...But now he was realizing that that wasn't the case.

"Listen...We can talk about this tomorrow, if you want to, okay? Right now, you need to go to sleep upstairs."

"...Carry me?" Kamui looked rather hopeful.

Fuuma smiled, and lifted the male easily – bridal style. It felt good, carrying him up the stairs. It felt good to have him in his arms...

They stopped outside of Kurogane and Fai's shared bedroom – as the door was opening once again. The blonde stepped out, and to the side, to let Raiko and Shooter past him. Then he realized that Fuuma was standing there, with Kamui in his hold.

"Going to bed?"

"Putting him to bed first," the taller raven told him so much, by saying so little.

Fai understood, and nodded. He watched them for a moment, made sure that Fuuma was able to open the door – and then returned to his own room, locking the door behind himself.

**TT**

He'd awoken to an empty room.

He had fuzzy memories from the night prior...Fai had returned...He knew that much for certain. They had come back – eaten...And then there was alcohol...And he'd foolishly downed drink after drink...He'd passed out on the couch...And then...

_Fuuma._

A hazy image of Fuuma, looking down to him. Muffled words. It was like trying to listen to someone talk, while you were submerged in water. What was he saying? And then he was in the males arms, and being carried...To their room, he guessed.

So where was Fuuma?

Kamui felt numb, as he pulled his knees to his chest. He crossed his arms over top of his knees, and put his head in his arms.

The swelling started off slow. It was the inner void that grew, and expanded...And right now, it was trying its hardest to drown him completely. It dredged up the past, and it reminded him of Fuuma. Reminded him that it wasn't Fuuma's fault at all, that he was gone...It was _his_ fault. He knew it already, he didn't need reminding. But the void swelled, wrapping itself around his heart. His stomach clenched up, and he felt sick.

He rocked himself as the tears became too much for his eyes to contain. They burned trails down his cheeks, when they managed to escape past his arms. The sobs wracked through his body, and he felt himself choking on his emotions.

_He couldn't take much more of this._

**TT**

**(A.N: **So, before I wrote the whole bit between Kamui and Fuuma, I was watching a movie called, "Taiyou No Uta." It was actually reminded me of "A Walk To Remember." And yes, I mean the movie, and not my fanfic. XD Taiyou No Uta is cute, funny, and sad. It's really good! But enough about that...Who is excited for Christmas? I know I am! Not because of the presents really...Okay, the candy, maybe... XD Do you guys know what you're getting, or what you want? I'm pumped for this whole week. Later today I'm hanging out with a friend, sleeping at another friend's Mother's house on Tuesday – 'cause my friend is coming down to visit, and I haven't seen her in like seven months...And then Thursday night, my siblings are coming over! I haven't seen my older brother in like three months, so I'm pumped! But it's going to keep me busy, busy, busy...I'll try to squeeze in another chapter before Christmas, but I make no promises! So, as it is 6:15 AM, and my friend is coming at noon...**I'm gonna go pass out...And maybe die. **And if anyone gets that reference, I will give you the infamous internet cookie.** R&R? LOVE YOU GUYS!)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**(A.N:** Sorry that it's so late! _'These are thoughts.' "This means someone is talking over the phone."_ **TT** means time passing or scene changes. You guys know the drill. And even though Christmas is over and done with – this is Christmas themed, so I'm going to say it: MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCHES! **R&R? Appreciate the love!)**

**TT**

Kamui wasn't sure how he managed to hold himself together.

He didn't know how he kept himself from crying...Kept himself from falling to pieces...

Fuuma barely paid him any attention. The others didn't seem to notice – except for Fai; who looked confused. But the blonde was trying to pay attention to Kurogane – who had missed him more than anything.

Kamui understood, and kept out of the blue eyed males sight as much as possible.

He tried to keep to himself as much as possible...But it was hard. Subaru could see that he was down, so the younger raven made it his goal to cheer up his best friend.

_It wasn't working._

He couldn't take much more of this. He needed to get out of here. His bag was already sitting by the door, so he went towards it now.

"Kamui, where are you going?" That was Subaru, who followed him to the door.

Seishiro watched over the two from the background, in case something should go wrong. Kamui didn't answer as he picked up his bag, and started to put on his shoes. Subaru kept grabbing on to his arms, his hands, trying to stop him from _leaving..._

Finally he latched on to one of the taller ravens hands, just as he finished with putting on his shoes.

"Kamui! Why are you leaving? Why do you have to go? You never tell me what's wrong anymore! You're always so sad! And I just want to know _why!_ I feel like I know what might be causing it...And you know how to fix that...Is this...Is it all because of what happened? Between you...And Fuuma?"

The entire world slowed down and went silent as Kamui shoved Subaru down to the ground.

"SHUT-UP!" It was a breaking point. It was more than he could take,

"You've never experienced any _real pain,_ Subaru! You have your Mother, and your Father, and they love you!"

"Yours loved you too-"

"—AND LOOK WHERE THAT PUT THEM! They _died!_ They were in a car accident, and they died! You still have yours! And you've never experienced anything _close_ to what_ I've_ experienced! You don't know what it's like to walk in my shoes! Don't act like you understand me! You don't know what it's like to lose everyone...I've lost my family...I gave up on the _one thing_ that mattered to me...And then I nearly lost my best friend...You still have everything...You...You..." Realization dawned on him, as he stared down at the younger male. He'd shoved him down. Subaru was sitting on the floor, because Kamui didn't know how to control his emotions. Just like Fuuma wasn't looking at him as much these days.

_Because he had no control over himself._

Kamui stared at Subaru for a moment longer, before he opened the door, and stepped outside. He closed the door behind himself, and walked in a daze. He walked aimlessly. He didn't know when he started crying...

_But he knew that he was slowly falling to pieces._

**TT**

The rest of November carried on with Kamui looking more and more miserable, and Fuuma staying out of his way. But halfway through November, their friends got annoyed with the both of them, and forced them into hanging out again.

And it was on the last day of November, that the raven found himself walking home from school – back to his apartment. Back to a home that he didn't want to live in alone.

He'd been offered rides home – by Kurogane, Doumeki, Shogo, and Fuuma – all of which he'd declined. Sakura's older brother offered to drive him, but he politely told him that he wanted to walk home...Subaru's parents offered to drive him home as well – as they were picking up Subaru and Seishiro – who didn't drive because of his blinded eye. But he'd declined them as well.

He was all set on walking home, in the rain.

_He was left with his thoughts._

Kamui wasn't sure what bothered him more; being around Fuuma while they weren't a couple, or not being around Fuuma at all. He wanted him back, but he didn't know what to say, how to say it...

_And he was afraid._

What if he screwed up? What if his words came out in the wrong tone?

He inwardly kicked himself for that thought. _Wrong tone?_ As in the _angry tone_ that he used when he tried to tell Fuuma _anything?_ How many times had his sentences sounded bad? Sounded _angry?_ When did he ever talk to him in the ways that Syaoran spoke to Sakura...Or Hideki spoke to Chi? Even _Kurogane_ spoke to Fai in a soft sort of way...His voice was gruff, but his words, and his feelings? Those were kind, and soothing. He'd seen the way the two coordinated themselves. They fit together like a puzzle.

Even Doumeki and Watanuki fit together. Sure, Watanuki was usually fighting the taller raven off about something, but in the end, he was happy. They both were...Because they fit.

_He could never fit together with anyone like that. _

What had Fuuma _seen_ in him?

He tried to see himself through his own minds eye.

He was Kamui. He was relatively short in height, had ebony locks of hair, and blue eyes. His birthday was May the thirteenth. He was currently eighteen. He'd lost his parents when he was six years old. He'd lived with his best friend and his parents until he felt that he was old enough to live out on his own.

He loved to read, more than anything else. It was his favourite pastime. He also loved swimming, because it was so _freeing._ He liked campfires, because it felt good to curl up next to a fire with your friends...

He was embarrassed easily. He'd never been any good at showing his emotions...

He paused.

His emotions. That was it right there. _He'd never been any good at showing his emotions._

He knew it, he'd _always_ known it. Even when he denied it, that didn't make it any less _true..._

How many times had he pushed himself away from telling the others how he felt? He was Kamui – the quiet one, the reserved one. The one with nothing interesting to offer...Nothing special.

He didn't have Watanuki's ability to cook, or his way with words...He didn't have Fai's selflessness...He didn't have Subaru's gentle kindness...

He didn't have anything to offer, because he kept everything locked up inside. He kept everything behind closed doors.

_He didn't know how to love._

That thought stuck him, and it struck him hard. How could he have been in a relationship with someone, when he didn't even know how to open up to anyone?

What had Fuuma seen in him?

Whatever it was...It was gone. Fuuma barely looked at him. Barely met his gaze. Hardly smiled. He was turning to stone, and everyone was worried...

But even as he himself shattered into millions of pieces...

_No one seemed to care._

So what was the point? He had nothing left in this life. And there were so many ways to die...Weren't there?

There was a truck down the road...

He stepped towards the road. He could step out in front of it, and it would take him. His life wouldn't last long. He stepped closer. He could die. It would be so easy. They'd crash into him, and he'd be hit, dragged a bit...He'd die. Another step. It would be so easy...

He paused.

What was he _thinking?_ It was raining, and there were cars out here, and he wanted to die like _that?_

He stepped away from the edge of the sidewalk – away from the road. All of it would have been for nothing. What he lost, their risks...All of it would have been for _nothing..._

'_You'll have a long, happy life,'_ the voice echoed in his head, and he clamped his hands over his ears, trying to drown it out. But it was in his head, and there was no getting rid of it.

'_You'll make so many friends...And you'll have a good life...'_

"...No..." He argued, wanting the voice to stop.

'_You'll meet someone one day...And you'll get married...And you'll understand love...'_

"...No...NO..." He protested, squeezing his eyes shut tightly...

'_...You'll live...'_

"NO!" He opened his eyes, removed his hands from his ears, and started running.

He needed to be home. He needed to get out of the rain, and away from the cars. He needed to escape...

_He needed Fuuma._

But even as he ran into his apartment building...Up to his unit...Even when he locked the door behind himself, and called out the males name...

Even then, he knew that he was all alone.

He had nothing but his memories, to keep him company.

**TT**

No one saw Kamui for the rest of that week.

He didn't come to school. He didn't call – or text – anyone. He didn't come out of his apartment. He was locked up in there, and people were afraid...

But Fuuma reassured them all, that Kamui was alive. And whenever they asked questions, he simply held up his key to the males apartment. He checked up on him, to make sure that he was – in the very least – still breathing.

And, sure enough, Monday, December the sixth...Kamui showed up at school.

His eyes were lost. There were circles under his eyes. He was dressed, but his shoelaces were untied. His bag was dragging...

_He was a mess._

"KAMUI!" Fai was the first to rush to him, grabbing him by the shoulders,

"You look terrible...Are you okay?"

The raven haired male blinked up at him. At first, he didn't speak. But then it seemed to dawn on him, that he should probably answer,

"...Fai?"

"Kamui...Are you alright?"

"...Are my shoes undone?"

The question was random, and unexpected...But Fai couldn't even bring himself to laugh. He smiled a bit, and nodded,

"Yeah, they're undone. You should probably tie them up, so you don't fall..." As the blonde said it, he lead the raven over to the lockers – to be out of the way of student traffic.

But Kamui made no move to tie his shoelaces. He stared at them blankly for a few moments, and it dawned on the blonde that the raven probably didn't remember how to tie his shoes. He was going into regression...And it was happening too quickly...

Fai sighed, but decided he'd help out. He crouched down, to tie Kamui's shoelaces.

"...Fai?"

"Yeah Kamui?"

"...What's it like...To die...Slowly?"

The blonde froze.

"...Through cuts..." The raven haired male added in, noticing the stiffness of the males form. He noticed weird things in this state...

"...For me...It was a release...I'm so used to the pain, that I've become rather numb to most of it...But I guess for someone who wasn't experienced in it like I am? I guess...That would be rather painful...And hard..." Fai stood up again, having completed his task,

"Why do you ask?"

"...Just a thought..." Kamui looked down to his shoes,

"And thank you."

**TT**

Kamui's regressed state remained throughout the week...Until he seemed to realize that he was relying on the others too much, and he snapped himself back out it. He went right back to being closed off on his emotions...And he got to noticing things that he hadn't before.

It was happening throughout the last week of school – before Christmas break.

Fuuma was...

_Smiling._

When had _that_ started? How could he have_ missed_ _it?_

Oh, right...He'd been busy with digging himself a metaphorical grave. He hadn't had the time to notice that his ex-fiancée was smiling again. That he looked happier than he'd looked in months.

_Why was that?_

It couldn't just be the fact that the holidays were on their way...Sure, everyone was happy about it...But Fuuma was in a rut, like him, wasn't he?

Or maybe he was already climbing out, and doing better...Maybe he was moving on...

The thought horrified Kamui. He couldn't be without Fuuma...That was already too hard. He was still trying to figure out a way to tell him that he wanted him back in his life...He couldn't just..._Move on,_ and be with someone else...Not now...Not this close to Christmas...

He tried to keep his worries off of his face.

"Hey Kamui," the voice was familiar, and unexpected,

"Are you alright?"

"..." He was staring at Fuuma – who was staring at him. And he looked _concerned._ And they were making _actual_ _eye contact._ Eye contact that lasted more than five seconds. Eye contact that was turning the shorter ravens knees to water, as he remembered _why it was_ that he loved the male standing before him. Turned his brain into a pile of mush, because he was realizing that he'd finally understood what it meant to _love_ someone...

_It had been so unintentional._

'_...And you'll understand love...'_ That voice echoed in his head, and he resisted his urges to cry.

"...Yeah...I'm fine..." No, he wasn't. He needed to be held. He needed to be told that someone loved him...That _Fuuma_ loved him...

But how did he say that?

"...Alright. You looked really zoned out for a second there."

"...Oh...Sorry..." He _had_ been zoned out. He was worried. He didn't want the taller raven to move on. He _needed_ him.

Gods, how was he supposed to tell him that?

The idea hit him then...And it stung.

_What if Fuuma didn't want him anymore?_

He was moving on, after all, so it made sense. Maybe he'd found himself a new girlfriend to date, marry, start a family with...Or maybe he found himself a new boyfriend...

_That hit Kamui hard. _

The idea of Fuuma with another man – it was even more painful than the idea of Fuuma being with a _woman._ Because if Fuuma was with a woman, then Kamui would understand what it was that she had, that he could never offer. She could become a Mother to Fuuma's children. Kamui couldn't procreate with Fuuma. _It was impossible._ But if Fuuma was with another _man_...Then Kamui would know for sure...That this new male had much more to offer. He would have a wonderful personality, a brilliant sense of humour...He'd be sweet, and loving, and everything that Kamui could never be.

_And the smaller raven would be left alone._

**TT**

_December. 24__th__._

It was early. They'd all been Christmas shopping throughout the week. And now, they were all at Kurogane and Fai's shared home. Presents to everyone, from everyone, were all under their Christmas tree – because the others had decided to come back for Christmas. Subaru had warned them that he'd be a little late – simply because he had parents that wanted to see him until noon – at least.

No one complained, because they were fine with waiting. And for now, they were discussing what Christmas would be like...Turkey dinner – they'd have to cook two turkeys to feed all of these people. They were going to have seventeen people, instead of fifteen – as Shooter and Raiko were going to be joining them.

As the day progressed, and the conversations continued, Kamui built up his nerves. The others – except for Tomoyo, Fuuma, and he himself – were all cuddling up with their partners. And Kamui spent that time trying to get the courage to ask the question.

It was a simple one. A yes or no answer. It wouldn't cut him too deeply if the male said _no._

So he decided to try,

"Hey Fuuma?"

"Yeah?"

"...Did you...Do you, uh...Want to hang out, tonight...?"

The others kept to themselves, but Kamui could tell that Fai was listening.

"...Sorry...I can't...I've got a date tonight..."

_Heads turned._

"In fact, I should probably get going. I have to get everything ready for tonight." As he said it, he lifted himself up off of the couch, and headed towards the door.

"What's this guy like?" Fai questioned, just as surprised as Kamui happened to be.

"He's...How do I describe him? Beautiful, and amazing...He's got the greatest laugh...And when he smiles..." Here Fuuma smiled fondly, slipping in to his shoes,

"...When he smiles, the whole world stops spinning..."

He took a moment to pull on his coat, and tug his keys out of his pocket,

"If anyone needs a ride, now's the time to start asking..." He jingled the keys.

"My parents are picking me up soon...We're having Seishiro over for supper tonight..." Subaru spoke up, knowing that Kamui needed to hear another offer.

No one moved, so Fuuma grinned,

"Alright, suit yourselves then. I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

When the door closed behind him, everyone turned to Kamui – who was staring at his feet. He didn't speak. He didn't move.

"...Kamui?" That was Fai – who was trying to make sure that the male was alright.

_No response._

Even when Subaru sat down next to him, as a means of comfort...Even as he spoke to him softly...

_Still nothing._

A knock at the door proved to be Subaru's parents. Kamui went with them as a means of getting home, but he still didn't speak. He didn't even bother with eye contact.

He got out of the car when they reached his apartment complex. Went up to his unit, and locked the door behind himself. He stood there in the silence for a moment, before he removed his shoes, and trudged his way down to the bathroom.

He was already clean, but he decided to shower again – to give himself something to do.

When he had stripped down, and was standing beneath the powerful stream of water, he found himself focusing on every detail of his shower – just to avoid his thoughts.

And when he was dressed once again...He found himself wearing boxers, and Fuuma's dress shirt – which had been through the wash multiple times throughout all of their time apart. It no longer smelled of the male...But it was a reminder nonetheless.

And he found himself curling up on the couch with his pillow, and a heavy blanket...Watching the DVD footage from their time spent camping.

He was so used to the tears, that he hardly noticed them as they poured from his eyes...Staining his pillow with little droplets of remorse.

Fuuma had seen something in him then...In his eyes...In his smile...But now, there was another man...Someone else, who meant more to him than Kamui ever could have. _And that hurt._

He closed his eyes, trying to block out the thoughts in his head...But he found himself trying to construct a visual of this other male.

He was probably taller than Kamui himself happened to be. A beautiful smile...Gentle eyes...

'_...And you'll understand love...'_

The voice was back in his head, and he hated it. He just wanted to block everything out.

He drifted into a fitful sleep...Stirring slightly when he heard a knock at his door an hour or two later. He'd lost track of time.

Whoever it was, they were persistent. Knocking...Then pausing...Knocking again...On and off...

Kamui buried his face in his pillow, not wanting company.

However, his ears clued in to a different sound. _Jingling. A click..._

His body went numb. His mind went blank. There was _no way_ that he was hearing what he _thought_ he was hearing. It couldn't be happening.

Even as the person entered the house, and shuffled out of their shoes. Even as the door closed and locked behind them...

He listened as the male wandered in to the kitchen, and set down what sounded like paper bags. Then he heard him stop to lean against the kitchen entryway. He didn't move from that position, and Kamui knew that he was waiting.

The shorter raven sat up – remembering too late that he was wearing the males dress shirt. He tried to keep his breathing even, as he got to his feet, and turned in the taller males general direction.

He couldn't lift his head at first. Couldn't think of what it was that he wanted to say. Couldn't form a proper sentence...

"...Hey..." The voice was so familiar, it nearly tore him apart to hear it.

When he didn't respond, the taller raven spoke once again...

"Kamui?"

"...What are you doing here...? I thought you had a date."

"I do."

Here he looked up, feeling that anger course through him. If he had a date, then what the hell was he doing here?

"Then what are you doing he-?"

"—I told you I was coming over."

Kamui froze. His mind replayed the words that the male had used to describe his _date_ earlier that day, and he scoffed, shaking his head,

"Fuuma, none of the words that you used, describe me. _At all._"

"That's because you don't see yourself very clearly." Fuuma didn't move, but he did smile. And it melted Kamui's heart to see it...

"...I'm not beautiful," Kamui announced – using Fuuma's description from earlier on in the day as an argument,

"I'm...Average...And there's nothing _amazing_ about me...I have a nasty temper, and I love to read. Plain and simple," as he said it, he turned away.

"...You're not so plain and simple..." Fuuma murmured, disagreeing,

"...You love to read...You also love to swim...And you like campfires..."

"Those are things that _everyone knows,_ Fuuma." Kamui felt his shoulders drooping. He felt..._Disappointed._

"...Alright...You love to read, and swim, and you like campfires. You're secretly scared of watching horror movies alone – not because they're scary, but because they leave you feeling that _lurking paranoia._ You actually_ enjoy_ the occasional chick flick. You sing when you're in the shower. You love Asian food, but you won't touch sushi – because you don't like the concept of _raw fish._ You have a vendetta against macaroni and cheese. Your eyes are blue, and when you're happy – the shade is deeper. You're a sucker for cuddling, but you'd never own up to it. You don't make eye contact when you're embarrassed, and you blush right up to your ears...You'll only drink double doubles when it comes down to coffee...When you read, you don't just _read_...You become one with the characters. You feel what they feel, and you live their lives with them until the end of the book. You can't read about car accidents without cringing, and you won't watch them happen in the movies – you _always_ look away...You hate having your hair in your eyes, but you like to have it long enough, so that you can hide behind it, so no one can see your face...You have three scars along your right hip – from when you were six...You criticize yourself on everything that you say and do..." Fuuma usually didn't say so many things at once. But Kamui needed to hear it. He needed to understand that there was so much more to him than what he was seeing in himself...And Fuuma saw _all of it._

He approached him from behind, and moved around him, to stand in front of him,

"...You really _are_ beautiful...And when you laugh...It's the most beautiful sound in the world...And when you smile...The whole world really _does_ stop spinning..."

Kamui ducked his head, using his bangs as a means of hiding his face.

"...There you go with that hair of yours again..." Fuuma murmured, taking one of the shorter males hands, and placing it over his own heart. He knew that Kamui was blushing at the contact. Fuuma's nerves were raw, but he wasn't going to give up.

"...You feel that? It's my heartbeat...And it's _racing._ And that's what it's like, whenever I'm with you. It races and you drive me_ crazy_ – in the best of ways..." He paused for a moment, stroking his fingers over the hand that he had captured against his heart. He smiled fondly, continuing,

"...I've missed you...More than anything...And I want to be with you..._Forever_..."

Kamui lifted his gaze, to make eye contact with Fuuma.

"...I love you, Kamui..."

The blue eyed male couldn't stop the fresh flow of tears,

"...I love you too..." It was a whisper...But he'd managed to say it.

Fuuma lead him in to a kiss, his lips soft and strong. Kamui kissed back – eager for the time that they had missed out on...He needed this. This simple display of affection. He needed it like he needed air.

Even when they pulled apart, Kamui still had not had enough. He offered Fuuma only a few seconds of breathing, before he leant up on his tiptoes – stealing the taller ravens lips once again.

**TT**

They had managed to eat – Fuuma had bought dinner from Kamui's favourite restaurant.

And now, they were sitting together on the couch. The TV was on, but the volume had been turned down, to be used as background noise.

Kamui had been sitting next to Fuuma – with his head on the taller ravens shoulder...But now he was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest. His arms were crossed over his knees, and he was staring unseeingly at his barely decorated Christmas tree. It was up, and it had lights. He hadn't bothered with doing anything more than that, because at the time – he hadn't had Fuuma.

_But none of that mattered now._

"...I told you, that you don't know everything there is to know about me...But you're pretty close to it..." Kamui murmured.

Fuuma chuckled lightly at that, but let it fade when he read the shorter males expression,

"Kamui? What's wrong?"

"...Just thinking...About my parents..." He continued to stare at the tree – but he wasn't seeing it. He was so far gone in to the cracks of his own memories, that he couldn't see the tree at all.

Fuuma didn't answer verbally, but he did reach out – brushing his fingers through Kamui's hair. It was a gentle reminder that he was still here, still listening.

Kamui sighed,

"...Their accident...I always describe it in the same ways..._Detached_...Limited information...But I know about it...I know the details off by heart..."

"...I imagine that it would be hard to forget about something like that," Fuuma agreed gently.

"...Yeah..." There was another pause, before Kamui spoke up again,

"...They were driving in the rain...It was late...And there was a dog in the middle of the road...They didn't want to hit it...So, they swerved..." He took a moment to swallow hard,

"The car rolled...When it finally came to a stop...It had crashed into a building...Dad died on impact...Mom held out though...But she hadn't been in her seat, wearing her seatbelt...She'd been on her way in to the backseat...And she got cut by the glass...She wound up dying from blood loss..."

"...Why would she-?" Fuuma turned to look at Kamui, and the pieces fell in to place,

"...Kamui..."

The tears slid past the shorter ravens eyes against his will.

"Kam-"

"—I WAS IN THE CAR!" When the words were finally out, Kamui buried his face in his arms. He could feel himself falling to pieces...

"...I was in the car! I asked her to come back and sit with me! And then I saw the dog in the road...And I was young...I didn't want to hit it with the car...And I told Dad not to...So he swerved...But the rain, and the sudden turn...It made the car roll...And now..." He swallowed hard, trying to breathe,

"...I killed my parents, Fuuma...They died because of me...My Mom tried to protect me...She used her body as a shield...I only got the three cuts on my hip...But she was cut so badly that it killed her..._I killed my parents_..."

"...Kamui..." The taller raven wrapped the male up in his arms, holding him tightly,

"Listen...Your parents...They loved you – more than anything...Your Dad didn't want to upset you by hitting the dog...So he tried to avoid it...And your Mom was coming back to sit with you, because you wanted her to, and she wanted to do it _for_ you...And she protected you, because she loved you...You didn't kill anyone...It was a freak accident..."

Kamui trembled in his hold – latching on to him for support. He needed him. He needed to be anchored down.

_He needed Fuuma._

"She spent her last moments...Telling me about what a good life I was going to have...That I'd make friends...And get married...And understand love...She told me that I'd live...She didn't care about herself...About her pain...She was more concerned about me..." Sobs wracked through his body as he let Fuuma in on the final moments of his Mother's life. Moments that he hadn't even shared with Subaru.

_Fuuma held him closer._

**TT**

There was a noise, stirring him back into consciousness.

It was a buzzing noise...And it dawned on him that it was a cell phone. So – eyes still half closed – he reached out to the bedside table, picked up his cell phone, and flipped it open.

_Nothing._

But he was still hearing it. So, he set his phone back down, and rolled over.

He blinked at the form lying next to him, as the events of the previous night played over in his mind. _Fuuma_...He'd come home. So the sound was Fuuma's cell phone...

Kamui ran his fingers through his boyfriends hair, before reaching over him – to pick up the phone. He flipped it open to find that it was a call...And it was Fai.

A mutual friend – so he figured that it would be alright if he answered for him...

He hit _'talk.'_

"_What do you think you're __**doing?**__ Kamui left here the other day looking __**really upset!**__ He's not answering his cell phone! Subaru has tried to call him, and text him, and so have I! I know he's smart, but he's all alone, and __**dammit!**__ You both need to swallow your pride and make up already! I mean, I know I went through this crap with Kurogane, but dammit we were never __**engaged!**__ You two __**were!**__ And if you two don't ge-"_

"—Fai?"

"_...Kamui?"_

"...Yeah. It's me..." The shorter raven blinked, stunned that the blonde had called with the intention of yelling at Fuuma.

"_...But I called __**Fuuma's**__ cell phone...Didn't I?"_

"...Yeah, you did..."

"_...What am I missing?"_

Kamui couldn't help but chuckle at that. Fai was completely confused about the shorter raven answering Fuuma's cell phone...Especially after the previous day.

Two long arms encircled him from behind him, and he jumped slightly – surprised. Fuuma chuckled near his ear,

"Scare you?"

"...Jerk. I wasn't expecting you to do that!"

Fuuma let out another throaty chuckle, before kissing Kamui's neck. When the shorter raven blushed, Fuuma smiled against his skin. He'd missed this.

He took the cell phone, gently,

"Hey Fai."

"_...Alright, are you going to tell me __**what the hell**__ is going on?"_

"I lied about having a date with some mystery guy...I was really just setting up a date for Kamui and myself...I lied so that I could surprise him..."

"_...So everything is back to normal?"_ He sounded so _hopeful..._

"Pretty much...We're dating again..."

"_**FINALLY!"**_ A chorus of voices announced from the other end, and Fuuma pulled his phone away from his ear, so that he could stare at it dumbfounded. After a moment, he returned the phone to his ear,

"...Am I on speakerphone?"

"_Yeah, you are,"_ that was Fai.

"What? We're on speakerphone? Fuuma! Hang up! I hate you guys!" Kamui announced, covering his face with both hands.

"We'll see you guys soon," that was Fuuma – who hung up before things could turn ugly.

**TT**

Christmas at Kurogane and Fai's couldn't have been better.

Gifts were exchanged from everyone, to everyone. There were laughs among the group, and more love than anyone could have_ imagined_ existing within one room.

Fuuma and Kamui didn't have anything to really give to one another – because they'd been so distant with each other. But Kamui had gotten the taller raven a card – which was witty, and which made Fuuma laugh. But the taller raven had not gotten the blue eyed male a card.

Instead, he got to his feet, and wandered over to his backpack. And then he returned, standing in front of the male.

"I didn't get you a card...But, I do have something for you...So, I sincerely hope that you don't mind getting the same thing twice..."

"What do you mean?" Kamui was confused by the taller ravens words.

"I mean..." Fuuma started, setting a hand on the coffee table. He lowered himself to the kneeling position, carefully,

"...That I have something to ask you."

_The room fell in to silence._

Kamui stared at Fuuma, knowing the question. His heart hammered against his chest, and he tried to regulate his breathing...

Fuuma took hold of one of his hands, brushing his thumb along the males knuckles,

"I love you."

"...I love you too..."

"And I want to be stay with you..._Forever_..."

Kamui couldn't make himself answer. There was a lump in his throat, threatening to choke him...

"...Will you marry me?"

The shorter raven ducked his head – trying to hide the tears. He nodded weakly, and allowed Fuuma to slip a ring on to his finger. And when he caught sight of the ring, he stared at it – dumbfounded.

Fuuma noticed,

"...I had to take it back, to have them work out the dent...But yes, it's the same ring."

"...You kept it..."

"Of course I kept it...It was my constant reminder of you..."

_Kamui closed his eyes, tightly, trying not to cry any harder._

**TT**

**(A.N:** Wow, long chapter is long. But they're finally back together! And I hope you guys are happy! XD Sorry that I didn't get it to you for Christmas...I've been really off track with my sleep schedule...So, what do you think? Now we understand Kamui's past a bit better...I actually felt really bad when I went through and edited it...**R&R?)**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**(A.N:** Hey guys! No, I haven't forgotten about you, I swear! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this in ages! ACK. I really lost my inspiration for my fanfics – for a long time...But I'll have you know that I was still writing! Later chapters for some things, and then some other fanfics that haven't even had their first chapter posted yet (and I think you can understand why). UGH. So I'm really, really sorry about not posting...Also! As you may – or may not – have noticed, I got rid of the Facebook group...I posted my Tumblr on my profile...So, I'll try to blog a bit more often. Do you guys realize that this thing has almost gotten 200 reviews? I am...Amazed, truly, I am. THANK YOU. **TT** means time passing, or scene changes**).**

**ANSWERING REVIEWS:**

**TrueDespair:**

Sorry for making you cry, True! -Is totally not sorry, at all-

Glad you've stuck around for the entirety of this thing so far...And I'm glad that you're always so detailed with your reviews. And yeah, I had fun writing about Kamui answering Fuuma's cell. Oh awkward moments, how you make my anime life complete~

**ShingetsuXMangetsu:**

ACK! I'm so sorry that I didn't post this until NOW...But I'm glad that you're into the Fuuma x Kamui storyline!

**ItachisPurpleChakra:**

Sorry for making you cry! (Not really, because it means that I did a good job on the emotions!)

And I'm glad that you reviewed, even though you're so shy!

**Yotzie:**

Thanks for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed!

**Botanthegrimreaper89:**

Personally, I hate people that are overly dependent on one another...But in anime it's kind of cute. So, I figured people wouldn't mind, especially considering Kamui is supremely adorable. Glad you liked it!

**Carmen Veiga:**

Yeah, I had fun with both of those scenes! Love working on this fanfic, and will try to get more up soon!

**Hikaru2008:**

GAH! I'm so sorry! I've been turning you into a mess, apparently! I'm sorry! I'd try to make it up to you with this chapter...But...Uhm...-sweatdrop-

**Raimundoroks:**

THANK YOU! I'm glad that you think so...I try, I really do...

**Foxyaoi123 & Jenmoon1:**

THANK YOU BOTH!

**TBS Juri:**

I know I responded already in a PM, but thank you nonetheless! I'm glad you reviewed, and _of course_ I'm going to continue this fanfic! I love it.

**TT**

New Years came to pass, with more love than words could describe.

Although the snow refused to leave completely – the weather did get warmer. And it was on one of these beautiful days, that Fai found himself out at a _café_ – with his older sister.

_He hadn't planned on spending his day this way._

It wasn't that he didn't _enjoy_ time with Chi. _He did._ He loved his sister...But it was his _birthday,_ and he wanted to spend it with _everyone._

He felt like he'd been kicked out of his house...Which meant that they were_ planning something. _And he didn't need any more surprises...He just needed to be surrounded by his friends, and family.

He felt drained, just sitting there...

"Fai? Why do you look so down?" Chi's voice broke through the dull buzz of the _café_ conversations. She looked worried – which wasn't anything out of the usual.

"...I love you, you know that I do...But I didn't plan on spending my birthday this way. I'd rather just...Be around everyone. It feels so empty like this..." He frowned at his cup of coffee.

"...I know..." Chi answered gently, running her fingers through her hair. She wasn't enjoying this too much either. She'd rather spend time with the entire gang.

She understood that Kurogane liked surprising Fai...But sometimes she wished that he wouldn't bother.

Fai picked up his napkin, and covered his mouth, coughing slightly.

Chi wondered if he was faking sick, just so he could go home...So she excused herself to the washroom. She couldn't watch him, and she wasn't allowed to _give in,_ either.

Fai waited for the door to close behind his sister, before he allowed himself to move the napkin away from his mouth once more. He wasn't surprised to see it. In fact, it was becoming a regular thing for him.

_Blood._

He wiped his lips, and left money on the table. He wasn't staying. Not when an opportunity was staring him directly in the face. Not when he could easily walk out those doors, and get out of this _café._

He trashed his napkin before he left.

Where would he go? If he went home, he'd spoil whatever it was that Kurogane was planning...And the raven would be mad at him...Though he supposed that he was bound to be mad at him anyway – for leaving Chi like that.

He could go to Raiko's – but they would expect for him to go there, wouldn't they? They would expect for him to turn to his old friend, in a time of utter boredom and disobedience.

_But this was so much more than that._

He hailed a taxi, and gave the driver the directions, without thinking. He knew where it was that he was going, and he wondered idly why he'd chosen that location. He also wondered vaguely, why he hadn't thought to bring along his jacket.

He supposed it wasn't worth the risk of being stopped by Chi, to turn back and get it now. Besides, they were on their way...So he pressed his forehead against the window, enjoying the cold glass, and its cooling effects.

He closed his eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness.

**TT**

She stepped out of the washroom, and approached their table. It didn't take long for her to understand.

She pulled out her cell phone, and headed outside,

"Kurogane. Dammit...He...He ran off. I mean he ran off! I went to the washroom, and he took off while I was gone. I don't know where he was heading...He's probably on his way over to Raiko's house...I don't know where he lives...But I'll call him..." She didn't wait for an answer. She simply ended the call, and found Raiko in her contact list.

**TT**

"Hello?" He listened to the feminine voice that spoke to him over the receiver, knowing who it was, even before she said her name.

"Something wrong?" He listened intently as she explained that Fai had run off, and she believed he may be heading his way.

"Well, if he shows up here, I'll let you know...Shouldn't take him long...If he's coming by taxi, it won't take him much more than twenty minutes – and that's with traffic." He was silent as she thanked him, and informed him that she was going to call Kurogane back.

"No problem. And tell the boy-toy-candy to go easy on your brother, alright?" He heard her smile as she assured him that she would. They said their goodbyes, and he ended the call, looking for Fai in his contact list. He called him...But there wasn't an answer – so he closed his phone, worried.

The arms that were wrapped around him, tightened their hold slightly. An acknowledgment of his concern.

"We could go for a ride...If you'd like..." The voice was sweet, and angelic. Raiko smiled,

"...We'll give him a chance. Let's wait. He might be coming here..."

The kiss on the side of his head was a silent agreement.

**TT**

Chi had gathered her brothers coat – as well as her own – and returned to the house. It had been half an hour, and he hadn't shown up at Raiko's house – so he was going to look for him – with Shooter.

She was going with Kurogane – in his car – to look for her brother. She was sitting up front with him...But she knew that he was upset. So she kept her mouth shut – unless she was spoken to.

"Do you have _any idea_ behind where he might have gone? He didn't go to Raiko's place...There has to be another..." He trailed, gripping the steering wheel. He wasn't mad at Chi. He was just worried...Which made him tense...Which made him seem like he was _angry_...

"...I can only think of one other place..." It was spoken softly, and she swallowed hard, before giving him the address.

_He pressed down on the gas a little more forcefully._

**TT**

He had paid the driver – who had looked concerned as he left the cab. But he'd told him to go, and that he'd be just fine.

But he_ wasn't_ fine.

He knew that as he walked – the snow crunching beneath his feet. Knew it as he coughed hard – only to spit out more blood. His end was approaching...He could_ feel_ it.

He stumbled, feeling dizzy, but trying to maintain his balance. He supported himself against the silent onlookers, heading in one direction.

The direction he knew too well.

He continued to cough, occasionally – choking somewhat, as the feelings overwhelmed him. As the sickness overwhelmed him.

He could swear that he heard her voice as he passed her. Heard her begging him to go back...Turn back now..._Go home_...

But he disobeyed, and walked towards him – wanting to be near him, if he was going to die.

He'd broken their pact, so he owed him that much, didn't he?

Another coughing fit took hold of him, and he collapsed to his knees...But he managed to crawl to his destination. He stained the snow with his bloody torment, and – gasping – turned to face the grave.

Pressing the back of his head, and upper back against the tombstone, he curled his body up. Shaking, freezing, _aching_...His eyes half-lidded, and his vision unclear.

He could feel him – as he could always feel his presence...But this was different. It was more than just the wind this time...He swore he could feel his fingers, gripping his shoulder. Could see his sad eyes...A younger version of his double, staring down at him. He knew he was there when he spoke his name...For – besides his family, Sakura, Raiko, and Shooter – he was the only one who knew it.

"_...Yuui..."_

He closed his eyes, smiling, and prayed he'd take him...

**TT**

"Why the hell would he come here?" The raven looked up to the house that they had stopped outside of.

"...He wouldn't. Keep driving." She stared outside of the windshield, terrified. She knew where Fai had gone...And if he was unconscious...He was risking his own secret.

"But you said-"

"—Yeah, and I lied. This is the closest address to where we're going. _Keep driving._"

Sighing, the raven pulled back out onto the road – unsure of where it was exactly that they were heading. He'd never really been down this way.

The cemetery came into view, but he paid it no mind.

...At least until Chi told him to pull over.

He didn't have the chance to question her, before she was out of the passenger door, and running. He cursed himself for not stopping her, pulled his keys out of the ignition, and took off after her.

It wasn't hard to follow her direction – if not for her blue scarf, then by the red dots and splotches that had stained the blanket of snow that they were both rushing through.

"Fai!" Her voice rang clear ahead of him, and he tried to move faster. But the snow made that more difficult to do...

It felt like a lifetime had passed before he finally reached the blondes – panting.

Chi was kneeling in front of her brother – checking his pulse.

Fai was curled up, with his back to a tombstone...And he almost looked peaceful, the way he was laying there. Kurogane hated the thought, and turned his attention to the headstone, wondering what had possessed the blonde to stop here...

But as his eyes settled on the name, confusion took a hold of him.

_Fai D. Flourite._

He looked back to the blonde male that was curled against the stone. It was the name that the blonde had lived by – for as long as the raven had known him. And – he assumed – he'd been living under it for a long time.

Things made sense to him now. Fai never let him see his mail. He never showed him his health card, his driver's license, or his passport. Anything that would bind his name to him – the raven had never seen. And Fai...No..._Yuui_ always made sure that he hid his true identity.

Kurogane had never had this problem. He had gotten his name legally changed – to avoid the problem from ever occurring. But he had trusted the blonde, and shown him his past.

"Kurogane!" Chi's voice broke through his reverie. He turned to face her – understanding that the blonde was the twin that they had claimed the death of. But it was_ Fai_ that was gone, _forever._

"Help me..._Please_..." She was begging him, cradling her brother. The last of the twins.

_Yuui Flourite._

He stared for a moment longer, before he managed to crouch down – scooping the male up into his arms.

"I think you have some explaining to do."

**TT**

When Chi had called Raiko with the news, she gave him Kurogane's address and explained the situation. Then she'd hung up, and returned to the waiting room – where the raven was sitting...His scowl deeper than ever.

She wiped at her eyes, and fidgeted with her closed cell phone.

"Fai-"

"—Which one are you referring to? The _real_ one, that's _dead and buried,_ or _Yuui_ – who goes around _calling himself_ Fai?"

Chi sniffled, and looked away.

"Is that the only thing he's lying about?"

"Yes..."

"And why should I believe that?" His voice was cold, his tone sharp.

Chi didn't answer, because she didn't know how to. She could swear it to him, that it was his only real lie. But what would her reassurances prove?

A Nurse came into the room – to tell them that Fai had been stabilized. Kurogane scoffed, and Chi tried her hardest to ignore him. When the Nurse offered for her to go up to see him, she agreed, and allowed for the woman to lead her away.

She was leaving the raven unattended in the waiting room, and hoping for the best.

_Hoping that he would __**stay.**_

**TT**

The others arrived in confusion and panic. Tomoyo took one look at her cousin's face, and told everyone else to stay in the waiting room – except for Hideki, who she brought with her. She located a Nurse, and Fai's room number, and the two headed up in the elevator.

She had to encourage the male to wait in the hallway – which he did.

And she approached the sobbing mess that had become Chi. She was a wreck. Sitting at her brother's bedside – her eyes dead to the world...

"Chi?" She kept her voice gentle, _reassuring..._

"Tomoyo...I don't know what to do...Kurogane is...Fai's...I don't know what to do!"

Tomoyo wrapped her arms around the girl – who was still sitting in the chair. She smoothed down her hair, and patiently, gently, questioned her on the story – which Chi provided her with.

"And now he's mad...Because Fai lied about his name...It was bad enough that he ran off...But he ran off to the _cemetery_ – to _die_ alongside our brother's tomb...He would have been content with that...And Kurogane saw the tomb...Fai's tomb...The _real_ Fai..." She choked, and touched her brothers hand,

"The boy that you know? His name...It's _Yuui_...But he abandoned his name...Abandoned it with our brother's coffin...And now Kurogane is angry..."

"...Just breathe, Chi...You needn't worry about Kurogane's anger...For I intend to take care of him very shortly. I'll go and get him, and I'll talk some sense into him. And I'm leaving you up here with your brother...But I brought someone to keep you company," and here she looked towards the door,

"Come in, please."

Hideki hesitated a moment, before entering the room.

Chi didn't know what to say, as he came to take Tomoyo's place.

All she could do was thank her.

**TT**

She returned to the waiting room – _alone._ Her eyes were set on him, and she didn't falter in her steps. She simply approached him, and stood before him, silently at first – as he looked away.

"You may look away all you like, Kurogane, but it changes nothing. I want you to come with me. Upstairs. _Now._" She was firm, like her Mother had been before her – and as Kurogane's Mother had been – when it was necessary.

"_Che._ Why _bother?_"

"_Kurogane Suwa._" Firmer still, but she trembled.

He met her gaze.

"You will come with me. _Now._ Or so help me _God,_ I will say it. I don't care _who hears me,_ either."

Although his scowl deepened - and he hesitated slightly – he still got to his feet. And she led him away – towards the elevator.

When the doors had closed behind them, she let him have it.

"You are the most hypocritical person I think I've ever met!"

He scoffed, not meeting her gaze,

"He lied about his name."

"Oh, and how is that any different than what _you_ did?"

He paused for a moment, before answering,

"I let him read about my past. I let him see my real name – my _birth_ name!"

"He _told you_ about his past! He wasn't_ ready_ to tell you his _birth name!_ He's been living under his brother's name, ever since the_ real_ _Fai _died! He buried his birth name with his brother's coffin! How is that any different from what _you've done,_ You-oh?"

"...Don't say that name..."

"_Hurts,_ doesn't it? You know who's _really _hurting right now? _Chi._ That's _her_ baby brother in there – _dying,_ and what are _you_ doing? Being a hypocrite, and treating her that way...And _no,_ she didn't tell me that were _rude_ to her. She said you were angry, and that's all I needed to hear. Because I know you well enough, to know that you were a jerk to her." They were stepping out of the elevator now.

"So you're going to apologize to her. And you're going to support Fai. And you're not going to call him by his birth name."

"Oh really? And why's that?"

"Because out of all of the spats that you've had since he learned your name – how many times has he used it against you?"

Yuui, no, Fai...No..._Dammit,_ he didn't know what to call him anymore...The blonde had never used his name after learning it. He'd questioned it, learned that it was Kurogane's birth name, and accepted the fact.

Even when he'd been pissed off, he _still_ called him _Kurogane Suwa._ He sighed, knowing that Tomoyo was right.

_He __**was**__ a hypocrite._

So he let his cousin call Hideki out of the room, and allowed himself to take the males place. He allowed himself to open his eyes to the realization that Chi was..._Broken._ She was feeling completely destroyed by the idea that her brother was going to die. She'd lost the real Fai, hadn't she? Now she was going to lose Yuui too. The baby twin, her youngest sibling.

She didn't speak as he stood next to her. She glanced his way, acknowledging his presence...But she had nothing to say. He didn't expect much out of her anyway. Except for some angry words, perhaps – which he would have earned.

But instead she only offered him silence – which was relatively worse. His boyfriend did this to him when he got mad too. _Silent treatment._

"...I came to apologize, to you...I was a jerk..."

She didn't answer, but she sniffled lightly, wiping at her eyes.

It occurred to him then, that he'd never really seen Chi _cry _before. He'd seen her with puffy eyes, and tear stained cheeks – after her brother had tried to kill himself...But he'd never actually seen her _cry_ before.

It hurt him, because she'd become a part of his life. She was there to scold him, to direct him...Just as she was there for her brother.

"...He does this to me too you know..." He murmured gently, keeping his voice light,

"When he gets mad...He gives me the silent treatment..."

He could see her smile, and she sniffled once more, before she managed to choke out a laugh,

"I guess we do have more in common than I'd first thought...Mom always did say that silence was a great answer when someone upsets you...That way, you can't say something hurtful in return, and the other person will wonder what you're thinking."

"Smart woman."

"She was," Chi agreed, still smiling slightly,

"Doctor's came in while Tomoyo was downstairs getting you...They said he'll be okay...He's officially nineteen, so if his body will just..._Hang on_ for a bit longer...The illness will solidify...And he'll be okay..."

"...You're holding onto that hope, aren't you?" He walked around to the other side, and sat himself down on the edge of the blondes bed. Chi was sitting to the blondes left – holding on to his hand, gently – as that arm had the IV in it.

"...Aren't you?" She questioned gently, meeting his gaze.

He looked away for a moment, before he managed to nod,

"...Yeah...I have to..."

**TT**

The blonde awoke in a familiar location.

It wasn't where he'd lost his consciousness...But he knew it well enough to know that it was the hospital.

He was aware of two different hands, holding on to each of his hands. At his right, he knew Kurogane sat – the male had a body temperature that was unmistakable to the blonde. And to his left...His sister. Her hands were familiar to him as well...

He turned his head to the left, figuring that he owed her an apology, for taking off on her. His eyes opened to find her in tears, but smiling,

"Hey you...You're up..." Her voice was soft, _sad..._

"...Chi...Sorry, for..."

"...I know...It's okay..." She let out a soft laugh...But it wasn't really a laugh. It was more of a relieved, happy sigh,

"I'm not mad at you. I'm happy that you're awake...Doctor said you'll be alright for now...Says if your body will hold on for a while longer yet, then the illness will solidify, and you'll be okay..." She swallowed hard,

"And you have to hang in there, _for me,_ okay? I need you to stick around for my wedding...It's just around the corner, remember?"

He nodded, weakly.

"...And you have to meet my future children, right? You have to stick around, so I can make you into an Uncle..." She laughed, but she was choking on the emotion.

"Chi?" He blinked tiredly at her,

"...I saw him..."

She blinked at him, confused, and stroked her fingers through his hair, gently,

"Saw who...?"

"...The real Fai..." He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the grip on his right hand tighten slightly. He ran a reassuring thumb along Kurogane's hand – knowing that it was him without needing to see him.

He opened his eyes once more – to see his sister's shocked expression.

"He was...Sitting in front of me...Holding on to my shoulder...He said my name...And then my world, went black..." He turned his face away – turning towards his pillow – and coughed lightly.

"...Fai..." She wouldn't call him by his birth name. Not even here, in the hospital.

_She knew that he didn't want her to._

He turned towards his boyfriend – his eyes still worn out,

"And I'm guessing...You know what it is now..."

"...Yeah," he kept his tone light, knowing that he couldn't be mad at him for lying.

"...Sorry that I...Lied...But I wanted to...Keep his memory...Alive..." His eyes were sad. It broke the ravens heart to see him like that.

"I'm not mad at you, Fai."

He blinked up at the raven haired male...And smiled, fondly.

"And you have to stay here, with us, alright?"

Fai's smile brightened slightly, and he nodded in agreement,

"Of course...Where would you be...Without me...?" He chuckled lightly, closing his eyes.

"Lost. Where else would I be? Alone..." Kurogane murmured, kissing the backs of the males fingers.

Fai hummed, acknowledging the fact that he was listening.

"I need you, Fai."

The blonde continued to smile, opening his eyes once again.

"I love you..."

"I love you too..." His heart swam in the pool of happiness...And he heard his sister chuckle. Which worked its way into her laughing, which made him turn to her – confused.

She pointed towards his heart monitor, and understanding took over him as he blushed, and turned towards his boyfriend,

"Dammit Kurogane! Stop doing that to me!"

The raven chuckled, kissed him gently, and pulled back with a murmur of,

"No way in hell."

Chi found herself crying for a whole new reason...She was laughing too hard.

**TT**

He'd been released from the hospital. Hugged by his friends, clung to by Kamui – which hadn't surprised him in the slightest, and somehow, he'd avoided being scolded. Maybe Sakura couldn't come up with something to say...Or maybe she just didn't want to bother, because she knew that her best friend was _dying._

Whatever the reason, he was content.

Kurogane hoisted him onto the hood of his car – which made the blonde laugh.

"So, this is what it's like to be a little bit taller than you!" The blonde teased, and the raven smiled.

"Close your eyes."

Fai chuckled, but complied.

Kurogane clipped something around the back of his neck. And then he picked up one of his hands.

The blonde felt something unfamiliar, and – realizing what it was – questioned the raven,

"...What are you doing?"

Kurogane – having completed his task – smiled slightly, holding the males hand,

"Proposing."

His eyes flew open. He stared, uncomprehending...He could see a ring on his finger, and – when he looked down – he saw Kurogane's Mother's locket, dangling around his neck.

"...What...?" He looked back to his boyfriend once more, startled, and confused.

"I'm asking you to marry me," the raven murmured, placing a kiss on the blondes lips, gently, before he pulled back slightly.

Fai – with fresh tears rolling down his cheeks – answered in the only way that he knew how.

_He pulled the raven back in, for a deeper, more meaningful kiss._

**(A.N: **Oh come on now, you didn't think that I'd let this chapter end on a bad note, did you? Nope! But it's not over, either. Sorry for the angst guys, but this is what came out when I got down to writing, so I went with it.** Hopefully you enjoyed it...And hopefully – if you don't hate me – you'll review?)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**(A.N:** Okay guys! I finally managed to update this! Sorry it took me so long to get it out to you...But, it's here now! Hope it's good! And I'd really love for you guys to read the AN at the end of the chapter, too. But for now, ENJOY! **TT** means time passing, or scene changes**. R&R?** I'd appreciate it!**)**

**Answering Reviews:**

**mutilated-butterfly:**

Glad to know that you're as fond of the characters as I am! And I'm sorry for making you cry, but at least you get to laugh and daydream too, right?

**yotzie:**

Glad you loved it! And yeah, I wanted to end that chapter on a good note, because there was just so much angst...

**ShingestsuXMangetsu:**

I had to add in the locket. From the minute that Fai touched it in chapter nineteen, I knew that it would have to play an important role.

**TrueDespair:**

Well, firstly, I'm glad that I threw you off with the name thing. I didn't want it to happen in an easy way, and this seemed like a good way to play it out. This was a lot of angst and I wanted to give Tomoyo more of a character depth. Something that made her wise, and not just cute and friendly. I also wanted to add on to Chi's character a bit more.

And secondly, I was actually waiting for the two of them to get together myself. As odd as that may sound. I planned on them becoming engaged...I just found that it took forever for it to actually happen – because my imagination kept coming up with other things to add.

**Nokia 5233:**

Glad to have made your day!

**Luimeril:**

I'm glad that it provokes so much emotion! I've become really attached to these characters...So I suppose I just let myself feel what they're going through, and express it to the best of my ability. And yes, there will be more.

**Carmen Veiga:**

Glad it made you feel for the characters! Thanks for reviewing!

**sammycrusinx:**

I'm sending you on an emotional roller coaster!

And I believe I answered this for you in a PM, but I'll answer it here too, so others can see it – in case they were confused. Back in chapter twenty-five, Fai attempted suicide. In chapter twenty-six Kurogane was with him in the hospital room. He reminded him that he loved him, and he kissed him. And Fai's heart started beating a little faster. And he was hooked up to a heart monitor – which meant that more people could hear it.

So, in the last chapter, when Fai awoke in the hospital again, with Kurogane at his side, the raven told him that he wasn't angry with him for lying. He reminded Fai that he loved him, and needed him – which made Fai's heart beat fast again. And Chi found it funny, because she could hear it happening.

Hope that helps people out!

**foxyaoi123, Faceless Charmer** & **The Black Sheep Juri:**

Thank you for reviewing!

**3hourmonologue:**

You seriously read this from start to, "finish," within three hours? I bow to your awesomeness. And thank you, for taking the time to read it...And for liking it enough to review it. Wow. And don't worry! It's not over yet! I still have more for these guys...Kind of reluctant to let them go, really...

**Luna-Discord:**

Glad you love it! That means a lot to me!

TT

The blonde had woken up early – _again._ This time though – as he shifted to get up – his boyfriend—

No, his _fiancée_...Woke up, and questioned him on where it was that he was going. When Fai reassured him that he was just going downstairs – the raven sighed, and sat up, murmuring that he'd be down soon as well.

Fai wandered wordlessly into the bathroom to freshen up – knowing that he had brought this upon himself. He would have to earn Kurogane's trust, as he had lost it...But he didn't allow himself to think about it. He didn't want to remember how he had managed to lose the raven's trust, or the other consequences that could have come from his actions. He simply did his morning ritual, before heading downstairs.

However, as he was descending, he heard a click – which was followed by a startled gasp...

He didn't give himself a chance to think. He dashed down the stairs, and flicked on the hallway light – stepping out in front of a terrified looking Subaru. Raiko stirred, and opened his eyes...Only to find Shooter pointing his gun at Fai.

"Babe, what are you doing? Put that away!"

It was a moment of frenzied confusion. Shooter lowered the gun, switching on the safety. Raiko finally noticed Subaru, standing behind Fai – terrified. The blonde sighed in relief that things hadn't ended badly. And the raven behind him took off, running up the stairs.

"Subaru! Wait!" That was Fai, who went to chase him...But he paused when he heard two bodies colliding upstairs.

"Ow! What the-?" That was definitely Kamui – who was _not_ a morning person, by _any_ standards. Fai cursed under his breath, knowing that things had just taken a turn for the worse.

"...Subaru? Why are you crying?" The older of the two raven haired males, was now completely confused. And _concerned._

He hugged the boy that he considered to be his brother close, as he turned into a wreck in his arms – crying, and clinging. Subaru tried to catch his breath, knowing that this was dangerous. Knowing that Kamui was the very last person that should hear about this...But he was _scared._ He'd just had a gun aimed at him – which had reminded him of a scary moment from his history...

_One that he'd never told a soul about._

"Subaru...What the hell happened?" The harsh question was spoken in a gentle tone. Kamui was upset, because he hated to have Subaru crying. He hated being confused – especially in the morning. But most of all, he hated that the younger raven couldn't even calm down enough to tell him what was wrong.

Seishiro and Fuuma were both in the hallway by now. They both questioned their respective counterparts on what was happening – Seishiro was met with a crying boyfriend, Fuuma was met with an; "That's what I'd like to know!"

Subaru tried to calm himself back down – knowing that he was letting this get out of hand...But the images were in his head. He felt like a child again. And he _hated_ to feel like a _child._ He hated it because it reminded him of how scary the world could be.

It reminded him of that day.

Somehow, he forced himself out of Kamui's hold. He knew that the male would baby him...And he didn't want that. He knew who he could find reality in, while still being comforted. It was the only person in his life who didn't question every frown – but looked out for him in silence, nonetheless. The one person who knew how to handle him when he broke down.

_Seishiro._

He was one of his best friends...But he was so much more to him than that. He was his boyfriend, his lover. The person he sought comfort in. And, although he loved Kamui _dearly,_ it was _Seishiro_ that he needed at that time.

And – because they were so silently in tune with one another – the mentioned male was understanding as the shorter raven found his way into his arms. He smoothed down Subaru's hair as Fai came up around the corner, and – after doing so – he spoke,

"Stand up. No need for you to continue this in the hallway."

Kamui was quick to become angry,

"What's wrong with you? Can't you see that he's upset? You bastard! He's-!" His voice trailed as the shorter raven did as he was told. He got to his feet – and Seishiro followed. The taller raven led his boyfriend back to their room for some much needed privacy.

Kurogane stepped out into the hallway just as Subaru's bedroom door closed, and looked to his fiancée in confusion,

"...What just happened?"

Kamui answered, even though the question had been aimed at Fai,

"That's what _I _want to know!"

**TT**

He locked the door behind them, and watched as his boyfriend headed for the bed – collapsing onto it in a heap of tears. He approached him, and sat himself down on the bed,

"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?"

Subaru shook his head from side to side, still crying.

"Okay then. I'll wait." He held the younger male in his arms, but didn't speak to him. He knew him well enough to know that he didn't want him to talk. He just wanted to curl up in a place of comfort, and cry himself out. If he could do that, he'd be able to speak, and he wouldn't feel like a child in the process.

It wasn't easy for Seishiro to sit in silence as Subaru cried...But he'd had practice. He'd learned over time that he was meant to be quiet during these breakdowns. It was Subaru's way of getting over it. He needed the silence. He needed the occasional reassurance as well...But that came with a trigger. The taller raven wouldn't speak until Subaru spoke the triggering term. And it felt like an eternity before he heard it stutter its way past his boyfriend's lips,

"S-Sei-Sei-kun..."

"I'm right here, Subaru." It was a gentle reassurance that he was, in fact, still present. Because, although the shorter raven was curled up in his arms physically; psychologically – he wasn't there at all. He was fighting his way through his pain. Speaking the nickname, and hearing his boyfriend's voice responding, was his way of becoming anchored down, and returning to reality. A slow process, but it worked.

_It was Subaru's way._

The nickname was spoken once more, throughout the course of ten minutes. It hadn't been a long cry – at least, not as long as Seishiro had anticipated - which meant that Subaru was running from it. Whatever it was that was plaguing his mind – he was trying to escape it.

The crying subsided.

"Better?" It was gentle, as he wasn't sure if Subaru was back yet or not.

"Mm. Better." The shorter male wiped at his eyes, and sighed. Sighing was a good sign. It meant that he was coming back around. He was coming out of his trance.

"Where did you go?" He knew that the shorter raven would understand the question. He wasn't asking about where he had gone after leaving the bed...He was asking where he'd gone mentally.

There was a moment of silence – which was never a good sign – before the shorter raven spoke once more. His eyes turned hazy,

"I was six. I was staying at my Uncle's house for a week, during the summer. I'd fallen asleep on the couch – watching movies...And they hadn't wanted to move me. Their room was just down the hall, so they figured I'd be okay on the couch. They went to bed. Someone broke into the house. We all woke up. My Aunt called the police. My Uncle told her to stay in the bedroom – with the door locked - so she did...And, he came to get me."

Seishiro didn't push his boyfriend for the details. He simply waited in silence.

"...The intruder had a gun...My Uncle saw that he was pointing it at me...He...He got in the way..." Fresh tears stung at the male's eyes,

"The police showed up...They shot the attacker down, because he wouldn't drop his weapon, and he had me as a hostage...My Uncle covered his wound best he could, and my Aunt came out to sit with us. He told us how much he loved us...Touched my face with his bloodied hand, and told me not to let the experience change me. He told me not to let myself become a different person...But, I'd already changed...And..." The tears were rolling by now, and he choked on his emotions,

"...He died before the ambulance could get there..."

Seishiro did the math himself. This involved a gun – and one of Fai's friends had a gun. He must've aimed it at Subaru – who had likely come downstairs quietly, in the hopes of not waking the two males that were asleep on the couch...

"Sei-kun..." His soft voice whimpered. Seishiro held his boyfriend closer, with a simple murmur of,

"I'm right here, Subaru...And that won't be changing anytime soon."

**TT**

Shooter had explained to the group that he didn't like to be snuck up on. He knew that that hadn't been Subaru's intention, but sneaking around in the darkness was a bad idea. He'd been taught from an early age, that if that ever happened, he was to point his weapon, get a visual, and quickly determine whether or not the person happened to be an enemy.

He'd been firing a gun since he was a child. In his old neighbourhood – you had two choices; walk around without a weapon, and risk dying, or carry a gun. He'd always chosen the latter.

Kamui had become viciously angry when he'd realized that Subaru had had a gun pointed at him...But Fai and Fuuma worked as a team to keep him under control. Fuuma kept him sitting down, and close by...And Fai reminded him that he'd acted quickly and gotten in the way – preventing Subaru from becoming harmed in any way.

Of course this upset Kurogane, who let it be known that he'd rather not lose his fiancée to a gunshot wound, within their home, or otherwise. And Fai had to gently remind him that if anyone in the house was going to be shot at, it might as well be him – as he was dying anyway.

Fuuma and Raiko found themselves teaming up to stop the inevitable battle.

"Come on you two...Things finally got calm around here, don't start this up again," Fuuma spoke up, running a hand through his hair. It was too damn early to be dealing with this. Calming Kamui down was one thing, but these two...

"Oh stay out of it, Fuuma!" That was Kurogane – who was already angry. First thing in the morning – it was just _never_ a _good thing._

"Leave him alone, Kurogane! He's trying to help! No need to be a _jerk!_" That was definitely Fai. And he wasn't liking this argument any more than anyone else in the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to be_ cheerful_ after you say something like _that?_" _Obvious sarcasm. _Kurogane was _supremely_ angry. _Borderline livid._

And Fai knew just what buttons to push, to send him over that edge.

He closed his mouth, and crossed his arms over his chest. It didn't take Kurogane long to clue in to what was going on.

"Oh no. You're _not _going to play the _silence game_ with me today!" He was definitely being pushed over that edge. But the blonde didn't speak. At least, not verbally. His eyes said enough. He _was indeed_ going to play this game today.

"Dammit, Fai! Why do you have to be so stub-"

"—Fai? Kurogane?" Another voice was questioning them, so they both turned to look.

Subaru was standing there, with Seishiro behind him. His face was apologetic,

"I'm sorry...This is all _my_ fault..."

"Subaru!" Kamui rushed forward, embracing the younger male tightly. Subaru smiled, returning the hug,

"I'm fine, Kamui. _Really._"

"...It's not your fault, Subaru. It was a simple misunderstanding," that was Fai – who directed his attention to the shorter raven as he spoke the words.

"It's my fault that you and Kurogane are arguing though...I'm sorry for putting him in harm's way, Kurogane."

The raven sighed, and went to reply...But he was cut off by a voice as it travelled down the hallway.

"You guys aren't fighting _again,_ are you?" The voice clearly belonged to Chi – who appeared around the corner, adjusting the hem of her shirt,

"It's a big day you know." She leant against the wall nearest her, and sighed,

"I hate to put you guys in such a tight spot, but you're all going to have to deal with our Father today. I know how much you hate him...But, _be civil,_ alright?" She met Kurogane's gaze for a moment, with another silent message, for him; _don't let my brother out of your sight._

She met the gazes of Fuuma and Kamui as well, knowing that – next to Kurogane – they would be the ones who kept the closest watch on Fai.

Her gaze finally turned to Shooter, and Raiko,

"As for you two...I don't want you to feel as though you have to hide your relationship from him. Just, be yourselves, and enjoy the celebration, okay?"

**TT**

Kurogane had paid to have a building rented out for the day – and that meant that the kitchen was included. And that was exactly where Fai set himself to work. He wasn't working alone. He was teaching Fuuma, Kamui, Subaru, and Syaoran – as he set himself to work. He also had help from Watanuki – though he had experience in the kitchen, and didn't really need any training.

"So, Syaoran-kun," Fai spoke up amidst the quiet conversations. There was a smile on his face, and he was trying to contain his amusement,

"How does it feel, to be the only _straight guy_ in the kitchen?"

Syaoran blinked, looked around himself, and then met the blonde's gaze once more,

"Honestly, I didn't even notice."

The room erupted into laughter, and Fai shook his head as he worked. He liked Syaoran. He was so honest, and easy to tease.

"It's not really something that I pay attention to...Not because it bothers me, but rather, because it doesn't change who you are as people." Syaoran was smiling as he made his statement. In his mind, it was a simple explanation. In their eyes, it meant _everything._

**TT**

"Hey Daddy," she spoke up as she appeared at the table. The others were all off a distance – talking, and filling up their plates. So it was just the two of them.

He gestured to the chair across from his, and she took it. His eyes wandered back to the group of people that Chi considered friends. His son stood among them – currently shaking head, with a smile, as Raiko animatedly recounted one of their adventures, to some of their friends.

"Dad?" Chi questioned him gently, knowing that he was watching Fai. But he didn't return his attention to her. His eyes were locked on his son, as he laughed at whatever it was that Raiko had just finished explaining. Kurogane turned his attention to them, looking bothered, but Fai waved him off – probably reminding him that it –whatever it was – had happened a long time ago. Tomoyo was there, to calm her cousin back down as well. It worked.

Then Fai turned his attention back to Raiko and Shooter, and went to begin a story about something more recent, but he stopped. His attention had fallen to his Father. And his eyes grew, before he managed to turn himself away again.

_Chi had had enough._

She stood up, pushing her chair back at the same time. She kept her hands on the table – needing the support. And then, with a force she hadn't known existed, she showed her anger towards her Father.

"**STOP IT!"**

His attention returned to her, and his expression changed to display his confusion.

"When will it be _enough_ for you? He's not _hurting_ anyone! He's _happy!_ For the first time in a long time, he's _genuinely happy!_ **Why can't you just accept that?**" She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to avoid the tears,

"I know about what happened to you...But it isn't _like that_ with him. For Yuui...For him, Kurogane is _everything._ And Kurogane would _never_ hurt him...They _love _each other..." She opened her eyes once more, glaring him down, with as much courage as she could maintain.

"When will you open your eyes and realize that? When are you going to open your eyes, and realize that what you're doing is _wrong?_ He's my _baby brother,_ and I _love_ him...I've stood idly by, for _far too long_...I should have stopped you sooner. Every time I pull his head above the surface – you're right there, drowning him all over again...If you didn't want to see him, then you should have stayed out of his life. If you didn't _want_ _**your own son,**_ then you should have stayed away. Do you know how many times I've nearly_ lost_ him? How many times he's tried to _take_ his own _life?_ I was asking for _one day,_ Dad. _One day._ One day of my brother celebrating with his family, and not being _afraid,_ or _hurt._ One day of him being himself, in front of you, and you _accepting_ him...You couldn't even give me one goddamn day." She shook her head and stepped away from the table. She turned towards the others – not really seeing them – and ran in their direction. She was blinded by the tears. Tears that she hated to be crying.

It didn't take long for him to reach her. He called out her name, and she'd known that he'd come running. And she was glad that he was there – that he met up with her, and brought her into his embrace. Because she needed him. She would _always_ need him, and it scared her to think that he wouldn't always be there.

Why didn't their Father want to know him while he still had the chance to do so?

"Hey, it's okay...It's okay..." He was holding her close, and running his hand through her hair. She pressed her face into his shoulder, clinging to him. He was skinny, and fragile, and she could feel it through the tux that he was currently dressed in. But in his arms, she could feel some muscle. And in his heart – which was beating beneath one of her hands – she could feel his love. And that was his strongest area. He was good at many things...But loving others, was the thing that he did best.

_She wondered if he knew that._

"I couldn't take it anymore, Fai...I just...I stood up to him...I knew that I _had to_...I'm so sorry for not doing it sooner..." She clung to him more tightly, hating herself, for not standing her ground against their Father, a long time ago.

"Chi...Listen to me, okay? I'm not mad at you. I never expected you to stand up for me, because it wasn't your job to do so. I should have been standing up for _myself_...But I'm a coward, so I always ran away. I probably always will. I hid behind our brother, and now I hide behind Kurogane. I lean on him, even though I never wanted to lean on anyone. It's always been so unintentional...But I've realized that I rely on him. He's the reason that I haven't died yet. Because he was worth life itself...And the last time that I tried to end it all – we had been apart for so long, that I was sure that he would be able to survive without me. But, he's made it clear to me that we rather need one another." He chuckled, and hugged her closer,

"I'm rambling. What I'm trying to say is; you don't have to blame yourself, for not standing up to our Father, until now. I can't be mad at you for it, because you didn't do anything wrong. _He's _the one who's in the wrong. He's closed minded and that will probably never change. But don't blame yourself, for the things that he's said and done." As he spoke, Chi continued to cry against his shoulder. Her brother, who had suffered through everything throughout the entirety of his life...Didn't want her to be in even the _slightest_ amount of _pain._ She had suffered so little in comparison to him...Yet he was more concerned about her, than he was about his own wellbeing.

Because loving others, was the thing that he did _best._

_She wondered once again, whether or not he knew that._

**TT**

Everyone had sat themselves down to a wonderful dinner.

The seating arrangements had been altered – so that Chi would not have to sit across from her Father, and Fai would not have to look at him. The table was actually two tables pushed together, and both were covered with black tablecloths.

Starting on one side, the order went; Watanuki, Doumeki, Seishiro, Subaru, Chi, Hideki, Hideki's Mother, Hideki's Father, Yuuko, Raiko, and Shooter. And, on the other side, starting at the seat across from Watanuki; Subaru's Mom, Taijo, Fuuma, Kamui, Fai, Kurogane, Syaoran, Sakura, Tomoyo, Primera, and Shogo. Subaru's Father was sitting on the end – between his wife, and Watanuki.

The conversations ranged across the table. People laughed, and joked...People were smiling.

Chi kept her attention away from her Father, and focused it on her brother, and the others around the table, instead. Fai didn't fail to notice, but he didn't comment, either. He knew that his sister was upset, so he wouldn't push her.

Meanwhile, Taijo found himself trapped, surrounded by homosexuals – spare the couple seated next to him. Subaru's Mother (Nori) – who was either blissfully unaware of the situation, concerning her son...Or she simply didn't care. And his Father (Kazuo) who was seated on the end, with a perfect view of everyone.

Taijo fiddled with the food on his plate, before he turned his attention to Nori. He cleared his throat, and she turned her attention to him, confusion taking its place on her features. She didn't appear bothered, however, as he started to speak.

"Nori, wasn't it?" She nodded, and he continued,

"May I ask you something?"

Her eyes were grey, with a tint of green in them. They were reflected in the eyes of her son – who sat across the table, and a few seats down. Her long black hair hung down, past her shoulders. He looked like her. Although his hair was much shorter than hers was...He resembled her.

"What's your take on this whole..._Gay,_ thing?" It was the only wording that he could come up with, for his question.

She blinked, and her face turned thoughtful, as she looked towards her son. She watched him chuckle about something or other, as he and some of the others conversed. She watched as Seishiro kissed his boyfriend's cheek, and Subaru's face lit up. She smiled, and turned her attention back to Taijo,

"...I think it's _beautiful_...Two people loving one another to such a degree – regardless of gender. Gender and sexuality...None of it matters, really. I mean, as long as they're not too old, or too young for you...Then, you should be able to love them openly, freely. That's what I see. It's just two people falling in love."

"So you don't think that it's wrong? That two people of the same gender, have chosen to love one another?"

She arched a brow at him,

"Taijo...Do you _honestly think_ that anyone would _choose_ such a life? A life that is filled with hatred, and discrimination? A life where telling your friends, and your family, that you're not heterosexual...Could mean losing them completely? You get laughed at, picked on, harassed, bullied, hated...And sometimes, disowned. Now tell me...Who would choose such a life?"

He couldn't answer her. He wasn't sure how to.

"I wouldn't change anything about either of my boys. I love them both, unconditionally."

"Boys? I thought that you only had Subaru..." Now _he_ looked confused.

"No, I have two boys. I have Subaru, and I have Kamui. And while the latter may not be my son through birth...That doesn't change the fact that he is _still_ my _son._ He has been, from the moment in which he stepped over my threshold all those years ago." She seemed to find her simple explanation suitable, and so, she took a drink from her glass.

Baffled, Taijo looked to Kazuo, whose bright blue eyes were smiling almost as much as he himself happened to be, as he spoke up,

"I agree with my wife. We have two sons, and we wouldn't change either one of them for anything in the world. Besides...They're happy, healthy, and we know that their partners are good people. What more could we possibly ask for?"

"You chose to use the word; _partners._ Isn't that, to some degree, an avoidance of their relationships?" Taijo wasn't sure how to feel. He was grasping onto nothing, and he knew it. These people were completely fine with everything that he could never understand.

Kazuo blinked, surprised,

"Of course not. It's just convenient in this case, because Seishiro is Subaru's _boyfriend,_ while Fuuma is Kamui's _fiancée._ Saying _partners,_ is just an easy way to summarize two different stages of two separate relationships."

**TT**

Chi and her Father did not make up by the end of the day.

So when her cell phone rang the next day – displaying the name; _Dad _– she was rather confused. She forced herself to answer it, and was rather surprised to find that his voice was shaking.

"Are you alright?" She was walking down the hallway of Kurogane's home, and she wasn't surprised to see Fai rounding the corner – to check on her.

"You mean...?" Her gaze turned to one of concern, as she listened to the sound of knocking, over the phone.

"Wait! Don't hang u-!"

She closed the phone, and stared into the eyes of her younger brother, unsure of what she should do. What she should say. Fai didn't know the history of their Father, in the ways that she did.

"...It was Dad...He's..._Scared_..."

"And how do you know that that's not some trap, to lure out Fai?" Kamui questioned, as Fai, Chi, and Hideki – rounded the corner.

"No, if he were after _me,_ he'd call me. He wouldn't _dare_ involve Chi," Fai managed to answer the question quickly, before turning his focus back to his sister,

"What's happening?"

"...Ashura..." The name came out on her breath, and Fai's eyes widened in horrified shock. He rushed to the front door, and began pulling on his shoes. He didn't know the details behind his Uncle. He only knew that he _wasn't _a good person. He'd been in and out of prison for _years..._

"Fai, what are you _doing?_" Chi rushed over to him, clearly taken aback by his actions.

"He's scared, right? He needs help. We can't just_ leave_ him." He grabbed his car keys.

"No way. _ You're_ staying _here._ Hideki and I will go." She said it as she tugged on her own shoes,

"Besides, I'm the oldest. It should be my responsibility – not yours."

"I'm not a _child,_ Chi," as he said it, he felt his keys being pulled from his grasp. He knew that Kurogane was the culprit – which just made him sigh in frustration.

"If you want to go so badly – _we'll _go. You're not going to your Father's house alone."

**TT**

Chi had tried knocking, at first. But Kurogane didn't have the patience to wait around. He kicked the door in – literally – which allowed them immediate access into the house.

In the living room, they could see Taijo, and Ashura...In a rather compromising position.

Taijo had his back to the wall, and his eyes were wide – with _obvious fear._ His wrists were clasped firmly in one of Ashura's hands...And the raven's other hand, was travelling. He traced his chest, and undid the buttons of his shirt as he did so. There was a wicked smirk on his face...

"Ashura." He didn't know where his courage came from; all he knew was that his Father needed him. And that was all that he needed. It was more than enough motivation.

The male's head turned. He blinked, and then released Taijo – smiling. He took a leisurely paced stroll, towards the table that sat in the hallway. And, once he'd reached it, he let his fingers trace along its surface, as he studied the people in the doorway.

"Chi...You're all grown up now." His voice came out soft, and eerie. Chi was shaking – her left hand hovering near her lips, and her right hand clutching her left wrist. Her eyes were wide with shocked, disbelieving _fear._

The amber green eyes traced her expression – the smile never faltering,

"And married, I see."

She let out a soft gasp, and brushed the fingers of her right hand, over her wedding ring. Hideki stepped out in front of her, pulling her behind himself, gently. He kept his gaze on Ashura.

"And Hideki, is that you? It's been a long time." He turned his attention to the pictures lining the table. His long, ebony locks shifted, and they did so again when he redirected his attention to the blonde haired male who had first called out his name.

His eyes traced him. Not only his face, but his entire form. He could see how uncomfortable the male was with that, but the blonde didn't falter with glaring him down. However, he couldn't stop his blue eyes from widening slightly, when the male before him, uttered his name.

"...Yuui..." His voice was disturbingly gentle, for someone who had been violating his brother a mere minute ago. His smile was both menacing, and yet..._Friendly._ The perfect combination for someone like Ashura. There were no boundaries in his world. He took what he wanted, from whomever he felt like taking it from. And yet, he could make small talk – like the family member that he was meant to be.

_It was eerie, and disturbing._

"You've grown up so much...The last time I saw you..." He trailed, turning his attention back to the table. This time though, he picked up a family photograph, and held it up for the others to see,

"You were only seven...You, and your brother; Fai...You were turning eight in two weeks. My, my, my, how things have changed. That was more than a decade ago!" He smiled fondly at the picture, before he set it back down on the table, his fingers tracing the figures in the photograph,

"Shame that he died so young..._Poor thing_...But it was a relief that he didn't have to suffer long." His eyes shifted back to the blonde haired male. He turned his head slightly, for just a moment, before his smile grew,

"You're engaged now?"

Fai understood now, why it was exactly, that his Father was so_ against_ homosexuality. And he understood now, why his Uncle had been in prison. His relationship with Taijo went far beyond that of a _brother._

"You should _leave,_ Ashura." Fai's voice came out as strongly as he could force it too, for the time being. He was trying to come to an understanding with this newfound discovery.

Ashura frowned,

"Oh, Yuui, that's not very nice at all. Hasn't anyone ever taught you to respect your elders?"

"Considering your position, I don't think that _you_ have a right to talk to me about _respect,_" the blonde's voice came out strongly now – but he was terrified to the core. He was standing out of Kurogane's reach, but he knew that the raven wasn't too far behind him. He wasn't moving, but his very presence, was powerful, and familiar. It gave Fai the strength he needed, to speak.

"Get out, Ashura. You're not welcome here, and now it's time for you to go."

The addressed male had that smile on his face again. It was sinister, and it didn't falter unless he wanted it to. He was in perfect control of his facial expressions...

"Get out, Ashura..." Fai spoke up once more, but the raven haired male didn't move.

"GET OUT! **NOW!**" His fingers curled themselves into fists, and he resisted the urge to strike his Uncle.

Ashura barely batted an eye, even though he'd been screamed at. However, he _did_ move. He stepped towards the blonde haired male easily, swiftly...He'd noticed that the raven behind him was locking up, in anger – but he didn't mind. He just approached his nephew, and reached up with one hand; gently touching his cheek.

Fai couldn't keep his eyes from expanding at the mere contact. He was afraid, but he couldn't _move..._

"Oh little Yuui...You try _so hard_ to be like_ Fai_...That_ strength_ that he had within him – he was _never _afraid of _anything._ He wasn't afraid of those _bullies,_ that always seemed to target _you_...He would fight them, and they would fight back...But he was_ never_ afraid. All of your past confrontations...He was _always_ there to protect you. And now, it seems that that job has moved on to _someone else._ But you'll still _try,_ won't you? You'll still try to be strong, and unafraid. You'll still wear a mask when you're unhappy. You'll still _lie,_ just to keep that heart of yours _protected._ Funny, isn't it? You look just like him, but you're both so _different_..." Ashura was bringing back the memories of his past. Memories that the blonde had tried his hardest to forget. He was unsure of how his Uncle knew all of these things, but somehow he did...And that made him feel threatened.

The level of his fear increased, as Ashura traced his fingers down his neck, and out onto his chest. His hand stopped over his heart, which meant that he could feel it, as it hammered against his ribcage. He could see Kurogane out of the corner of his eye. His scowl had deepened, and he seemed to be resisting the urge to rip Ashura apart – though he did take a step in the male's direction.

Ashura had noticed the raven's expression and actions as well – but he didn't look concerned. Instead, he looked amused – and that only made things _worse._ Kurogane's anger levels were reaching that point...The point that they were_ not_ meant to reach. His knuckles had changed colour, and his fists had started shaking.

Ashura chuckled, and turned his attention to his nephew,

"My dear little Yuui...It seems that your fiancée is a very protective person indeed. I'm so _glad_ that you have someone to keep you _safe_...But he needs to learn how to control his anger." He leant closer to the blonde, and his eyes fixated themselves on Kurogane – who was approaching the two of them now.

"I believe I have just figured out what it is..." His voice was a mere whisper, and his eyes returned to those of his nephew,

"...That makes him _tick._"

Fai's heart thundered more wildly than before, and he tried to keep his breathing even. Kurogane was standing a mere arms length away now, but Ashura kept his attention on the blonde before him.

"Little Yuui...I do hope to see you again sometime soon..." He finally released the blonde from his hold, and went to walk away...However, he didn't get very far. Kurogane had grabbed a hold of one of his arms, and was squeezing the area around his wrist – tightly.

"If you_ value_ your _life_...You will _stay away_ from _him._ Away from the_ rest_ of this _family._ And if you _ever_ touch him again...You'll lose the use of your fingers completely. _Understand?_" His voice was a threat, if his words hadn't been enough of one on their own.

However, Ashura wasn't disturbed. He merely looked to his hand, as the circulation was being cut off, and curled his fingers.

"My fingers _tingle_..." He uncurled them once more, keeping that amused expression plastered on his face.

Kurogane threw his arm from his grasp, and watched as the shorter raven finally left the house. It took a few seconds for the tension in the air to crack, and once it did, it _shattered._

"Fai! Are you okay?" That was Chi – who rushed from behind Hideki, to check on her brother.

"I'm fine," it wasn't exactly true. He wasn't sure how he was. But he didn't want her to worry about him. And he was glad when she went to check on their Father. Hideki followed, and helped Taijo back onto his feet.

Their Father was fine, though slightly unsteady. And Fai himself didn't feel too well. His vision was becoming blurry. At first, it looked like an out of focus picture. But then, it all started to fade out to black. His feet came out from beneath him, and he felt himself falling. He heard his name being called though it sounded foggy. It was as if the voices were calling to him, while he himself was submerged in water...

He was vaguely aware of the fact that he'd landed – in Kurogane's arms – and that his sister was calling for an ambulance, on her cell phone. He couldn't feel much of anything, or hear too well. His eyes had closed, and they refused to open. So everything was dark, and muffled, and chaotic, in his world.

Everything, but the voice. And this voice was gentle, and familiar...And _clear._ He'd recognize it anywhere.

"_Hang in there, you'll be okay."_

Why couldn't he understand that for _once_ in his _life,_ he _didn't _want to hear those words? Couldn't he see that he was _ready_ to go? It was his _time_ to go. He could die, right at that moment, and he'd be satisfied with the ending that his life had brought him.

"_Everything will be alright, __**Yuui.**__"_

His voice faded out, and so did the blonde's remaining consciousness.

**TT**

**(A.N: **Please don't hurt me? I'm sorry you guys, but this is what happened when I decided to update. Uhm...I hope you found it interesting, at least? We got some Seishiro x Subaru in this, finally, and we learned something about Taijo too. Yaaay horrible pasts! **Now, here's why I wanted you to read this AN;** I have created a Tumblr account, where I will be posting what has inspired the chapters for all of my fanfics. You can find it on my profile. I won't be deleting this – like I did with the Facebook account, as I truly love Tumblr, and I am there a lot. So feel free to check that out. But I'll ask that all reviews go to . I need you guys to keep reviewing here. It definitely makes my day. **R&R?** Love you guys!**)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**(A.N:** Hey guys, it's only been a couple of _months_...-shot- Anyways, I'm finally updating! YAY! So I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. **TT** means time passing, or scene changes. You guys know the drill. **R&R?** Appreciate it!**)**

**Answering Reviews:**

**Star Fantasy Writer:**

Actually, there are_ three_ straight guys: Syaoran, Hideki, and Shogo. Fai meant that Syaoran was the only guy in the kitchen – in that particular scene. And I don't think that Ashura is going to play much of a role in this. I really just needed that scene, to make this particular chapter work. Glad you're enjoying it so far! Thanks for reviewing!

**TrueDespair:**

I know. I like that she stayed in the background for so long, and then she just _snapped,_ completely. I think it makes her into a stronger character. And Taijo really needed a background reason for his hatred. I wanted to give him this bigger meaning, behind why he is the way he is. Thanks for reviewing, True!

**TheGoth24:**

Yeah, Taijo's past finally makes sense, but that doesn't make everything all better. Fai's life is definitely a huge mess, but I'm glad that it makes you feel better! Thanks for reviewing!

**Carmen Veiga:**

"_Why are you so good at tragic back stories?"_ I don't know! I have a very twisted imagination. And I really like writing angst...I mean, I hate it, because I feel so bad for the characters...But I love it, because it makes me feel better. I write about this pain, and it makes me feel better about my own life. Writing is a stress reliever for me. Thanks for reviewing!

**OolashaSylvanas:**

First of all: THANK YOU! Hearing that my writing is beautiful, totally just made my day. And yeah, Taijo actually has a bad history, with Ashura – as we now know – but that doesn't make it all better. Though I did have a lot of fun writing the scene where Kurogane beat the shit out of him...Maybe a little _too_ much fun. But Taijo had it coming, definitely. Thanks for reviewing!

**Jenmoon1:**

And thank YOU for reviewing!

**3hourmonologue:**

Hey, you never have to apologize for exclamation marks – it's totally okay to be excited! I'm glad that you enjoyed the last chapter, and I'm sorry for ending on that note! Hopefully this chapter makes up for it? Thanks for reviewing!

**17BlackRoses:**

THANK YOU! I'm glad that the emotions come across the right way, and I really have connected to the characters in this fanfic. They've become a part of me, and when this story eventually reaches an end – I will be very sad to say goodbye to them. I'm glad that Ashura came as a surprise. I was hoping that his presence, and his story, would be shocking. It seems to have worked! Thanks for reviewing!

**ace1413:**

"_You have done a beautiful job adapting it."_ Thank you so much! I'm glad that you're enjoying this fanfic, and that you like the way in which I've adapted the story. And I'm glad that this fanfic inspired you to watch the movie _(it's one of my favourites)._ I can't give away the ending, so I won't say anything there, but thank you for reviewing!

**TT**

He wasn't doing well. He was deteriorating much more rapidly now, as the sickness spread throughout his system. It was solidifying, gradually...But the Doctors wondered if it wouldn't kill him before they could operate. And they couldn't operate until it had completed the process of becoming a more solid form.

It was an endless circle of _what if's_, and _maybe's_. And there were no guarantees.

Fai had trouble keeping conscious sometimes, and his friends and family feared that they would lose him to a coma. If they did...It was likely that he wouldn't make it.

Kurogane was with him every single day, along with Chi and Hideki. The others came every other day. They needed time between their visits, as it was hard to stay composed, when your best friend looked so fragile. But Fai was understanding. He teased, and laughed, and read, and was read to.

It was Kurogane that would stay the latest. He'd read to Fai until the blonde would fall asleep. And when the blue eyes were closed, the raven would have to question him, to see if he was still listening.

"...Still with me?" The question would come out gently, just in case the male had drifted off to sleep.

And it was on one of these nights, that the question was asked, that Fai decided to answer in a manner that was different than the way in which he usually would.

He opened his eyes, and sought out the ruby gaze of his fiancée. And he held out a hand, which Kurogane took, after bookmarking their page, and setting the book down on the bedside table.

"...I'm _always_ with you...Even if I'm no longer here physically...I'll still always be with you..." The words were painful to hear, coming from someone who tried to be so uplifting when the times were bad.

"I'm there in the pictures, and I'm there in the house. I'm there in the walls of that school, and I'm currently here in this hospital. And soon enough, I'll be in the cemetery...But I'll remain in your memories, and your thoughts..." He freed his hand, and settled it over the raven's heartbeat,

"...And I'll always be here..."

Kurogane swallowed hard, taking the hand from his chest, and carefully cradling it between both of his own. He kissed each of the fingers individually, trying to calm himself back down. And once he felt that he was calm enough – he met the blue eyed gaze once more.

"...I'm not giving up on, Fai. I know how much you crave death, and I know that you're tired, and hurting...But I also know that you want to live." He squeezed the male's hand, gently,

"I know that you're terrified of leaving us all behind. You're afraid of what this will do to your friends. You're afraid of what this will do your sister. And you're worried about what this will do to me." He sighed, stroking one of his thumbs over his lover's hand, as he watched the blue eyes fill with tears.

There was a silence then, as they couldn't find the words to say.

Fai knew that his death would completely destroy Kurogane. And the raven wasn't giving up on the chance that the blonde might survive. That there was some chance in this world, that somehow...He'd live through this.

**TT**

The next day was a Saturday, so Kurogane was able to come in earlier than usual.

He met Chi in the waiting room, and she explained that Hideki was doing some grocery shopping, and that he'd be joining them later. They took the elevator up together, not saying much of anything, but both feeling the natural dread that came with this miniature ride. It was the destination box. It took you where you needed to be...But it couldn't guarantee that you would like what you would find once arriving.

So as they stepped out together, and walked towards Fai's room...They listened to the sounds of the hospital. Shoes clicking on the floor. Patients talking to Nurses, Doctors, family, and friends. Heart monitors.

They hoped all the while that Fai's would still be beeping when they got there.

And as they arrived, they could hear it; steadier than it had been in a long time. His curtain was closed around him, and they could hear the Doctor talking to him, but they couldn't make out the words. He sounded confused, but pleased. Said something about hoping that it would keep up, until the surgery date.

_And then they heard the voice._

It was Fai's voice. And it was stronger, and livelier than it had sounded since he'd collapsed. It was full, and it didn't break between his sentences. It..._Sounded healthy._

"You don't have to wait much longer. The solidifying process is almost complete, by the looks of things. We should be able to operate soon." The Doctor's words fell on their ears, and they waited in silence, as he pulled the curtain back, slowly.

"In the meantime, take things easy. Don't do anything too reckless. And if you don't feel well – tell someone. Tell your sister, your fiancée, one of your friends – whoever is near you. Just as long as someone knows that you need help. Oh...It looks like your ride is here earlier than expected."

The blonde was already dressed in his regular clothing – the hospital gown was lying on the bed, abandoned.

"Chi..." He greeted her gently, before turning his attention to the raven standing next to her,

"...Kurogane..."

There were different ways in which Fai said the male's first name. Usually, it was said in anger, or frustration...But then there were times when he used it, and it came out gently, lovingly. And that was how it sounded now. It was a sweet sound, which fell from his lips, as he got to his feet. It was spoken, and the smile that followed was _real_.

The blonde ran to him then. He did it without warning, but the raven didn't need any. Fai leapt up, into his arms, and Kurogane found it extremely easy to support his weight. The blonde's legs were wrapped around his fiancée's hips, and their lips had formed together, in a kiss.

The Doctor arched a brow, then smiled, rolled his eyes, and shook his head. Chi smiled at the two of them, as they broke apart for air.

"Fai...How are you feeling?" The raven adjusted his hold, and kissed the blonde's cheek.

"Hmm...I feel much better. Especially now that I've had a kiss." The chuckle that escaped his lips was beautiful, and genuinely happy.

The raven smiled at that, kissing the blonde once more, before he carefully set him back on his own two feet. He hated to put him down, but his sister looked like she wanted a hug from her brother, especially after seeing him looking so lively.

Fai hugged his sister tightly, before the three of them headed towards the elevator together. The blonde was full of energy, and he asked them about anything that popped into his head.

"How is everyone? I haven't seen the others in a few days. What's today? I've lost track of the week. Are we going home? I've missed home. I've missed a lot of things." It was as though he was on a sugar high. He'd probably be bouncing off the walls, if they weren't standing in an elevator.

"They're fine, and it's Saturday," Chi answered the first two questions, and looked to Kurogane for the third. But when she met his gaze, she found something there. Something that she knew he was considering, and she followed his train of thought rather easily.

"Do you still have him on hold?"

"...Yeah..."

"It's still early. We have a lot of time to gather everyone together, if you want to do it today."

"Do what today?" Fai was still bubbly, even though he had no idea what they were talking about...Which was extremely unusual, considering he'd usually go into panic mode, and assume the absolute worst.

"Are you on meds?" Chi questioned, arching a brow at her brother.

"Nope! I've been stuck in a hospital bed for two weeks, I'm just happy to be getting out!"

The elevator went silent for a moment, as Chi tried not to laugh at how enthusiastic Fai was with leaving the hospital. She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, and smiled in a way that showed that she was trying _really hard_ not to _laugh_.

The small chuckle that escaped on Kurogane's cough didn't help her at all.

**TT**

The raven called his cousin once they were outside. And his free hand was immediately occupied by that of his fiancée.

"Tomoyo, do me a favour, and call some of the others...I don't know, uh...Call Primera, and Shogo...And Sakura, and Subaru. Yeah. That should do it. Tell them they're going to my house. Yeah, I want everyone to come over. No, no...It's not _that_, not at all. Don't worry about it. Tell them to think formal, though." He hung up, before she could question him. He knew that she'd gotten enough of a message, and that she wouldn't say anything that she shouldn't.

His next call went out to Syaoran, then Doumeki, and his final call went to Seishiro. Chi called Hideki, Raiko, Watanuki, and Fuuma. Raiko and Shooter lived together, as did Fuuma and Kamui – so there were two people that they didn't have to call, as the message would be passed along. She felt bad calling Fuuma so early on the weekend – as he would have to wake Kamui, and deal with his morning rage...But it would be worth it.

They would see soon enough, that it would be_ completely_ worth it.

**TT**

When everyone had gathered at Kurogane's house, and had settled themselves into the living room – they were confused. They were dressed in regular attire, and had brought along backpacks, containing formal wear, as well as overnight necessities. Their bags were upstairs now, and the confusion had settled in amongst them. Chi was currently in the washroom, with her brother, _waiting._

"Chi, are you joining us?" Kurogane called, which was their secret signal. She came out – leaving the bathroom door open behind her. She joined the others in the living room, muttering an apology.

"Okay. I've got everyone here now, so I have an announcement to make."

"Hope it's a good one, considering it's ten in the morning, and it's Saturday," Fuuma spoke up, clearly tired. He'd had a long morning. It had started at eight thirty, and it had been hellish. Kamui was _not_ a morning person.

The shorter raven frowned, and squeezed his fiancée's hand, gently, in the form of an apology. Fuuma sighed, squeezing back,

"I know, I know. Just next time, if you want to throw something, throw a pillow."

"...Trust me, this announcement is definitely worth waking up early on a Saturday for. Today, is a big day. Today is the day that it happens."

"Today is the day _what_ happens?" That was Fuuma, who arched a rather confused brow.

"Well...Kurogane had someone on hold. He kept them informed of his difficult situation, and they agreed that they'd be ready to come out on a whim – whenever he wanted them to," Tomoyo spoke up, smiling. She already knew where this was going.

"So, in other words, today is the day-"

"—that we get married."

There was a moment of silence as the majority of the living room registered with the fact that the blonde that had appeared before them, was Fai. And once they'd realized it, his name was announced. And the blonde wasn't at all surprised when Kamui body slammed him, in fact, he'd predicted it. So he wrapped one arm around Kamui, and held the other open for Sakura – who was attached to him in no time.

There were tears from the two people that he had wrapped up in his arms, and the guilt ate at him, as he held them both closer.

"I'm so sorry you guys...I'm sorry...I'm not better yet, but the Doctor said _soon_...And I felt too good to stay in the hospital bed, and I've missed you all so much..." He stroked his fingers through Sakura's hair, as he spoke.

"You scared me! I wasn't sure what to think when Tomoyo called me! I'm so happy to see you out of that stupid bed..." She cried against his shoulder.

"So am I," the blonde agreed, gently.

Kamui didn't speak, but he didn't have to. He just clung to Fai, refusing to let go. His tears soaked through the taller male's shirt.

"Oh, Kamui..." He tightened his hold on him. He understood. They'd been through a lot together...

Sakura finally let him go, once she'd felt that she'd hugged him enough. Then she kissed his cheek, and returned to Syaoran – who was only too glad to take her into his arms. Fai's free arm was quickly filled, when Raiko approached him.

"Hey Lush man, you've got to stop scaring me..." His voice was teasing, but he was happy to have the blonde back on his feet. And the chuckle that his comment earned made him smile.

"I'll try to put the fear fest on hold for you."

The next hug came from Subaru, and he was followed by Watanuki. Kamui never let go though. At least, not until Fuuma got to his feet. It was the only time in which the shorter raven was okay with stepping aside, and even then, he still stayed nearby. Fai didn't ask questions. Fuuma merely pulled him into a hug, and the blonde was happy to return it.

"Still mad at me for waking you up?"

"You were forgiven the second you stepped into the room."

As soon as their hug broke apart, Kamui had reattached himself to the blonde.

**TT**

They were holding the wedding in the same location in which they had held Chi's. The building was paid for, the kitchen was up for use, and Fai had been banned from entering it. He really wanted to help, but his sister had told him that he wasn't allowed to cook for his own wedding.

She was now on her cell phone, standing out of his earshot. He could see that she wasn't sure how to feel about this particular phone call, even though she was the one that had called the other person. Her face turned somewhat threatening, as she said something into the receiver, and she smiled slightly at the response that she received.

Once she'd hung up, she came to join him at the table, sitting down next to him, in one of the chairs.

"Don't be mad."

_That couldn't be good._

"...I told Dad that you're getting married today..." She bit her lip, as she waited for his reaction, but he honestly didn't know how to react. Surely if he could scream at his creepy, incestuous Uncle, then his abusive Father couldn't be _that much _of a challenge. Of course, Ashura had never actually_ hurt_ him, and had only been too close for comfort, on one occasion. His Father was another matter.

"I told him where...But I told him _something_ _else,_ too..." She took one of his hands, gently, noticing the slight panic in his eyes.

"I told him that if he says anything that he shouldn't say, or hurts you, or even so much as _threatens you,_ in any way, shape, or form...Then there will be _no one_ restraining Kurogane, and he will be free to do as he wishes."

Fai smiled slightly at that.

"If there's one thing that scares Dad – besides Ashura – It's a rogue Kurogane."

Fai laughed, knowing that it was the truth. Kurogane ranked second place on the list of things that scared their Father. And the idea that saying, or doing the wrong thing, could lead to a serious beating –_ especially_ after having experienced one already – was _definitely_ more than enough of a fair warning.

"We'll have to tell Kurogane...If Dad shows up here, without a warning, he won't get a chance to say, or do anything. Kurogane will just take him down, on the spot." The mental image was rather amusing, but he couldn't allow for things to play out that way. Although his Father truly _didn't _deserve another chance...The blonde would give him one...Only because it was his wedding day.

**TT**

It was a while before Taijo showed up.

He was dressed in a tuxedo – which showed that he intended to stay for the event. Fai wasn't sure how to feel about that, exactly. As his Father approached, he tightened his hold on his fiancée's hand; partially because he needed the support, and partially to keep him from doing something that he wasn't meant to do. Chi was standing on his opposite side, just in case he needed her, too.

Taijo stopped a few feet away, not wanting to get too close, too quickly. He made eye contact with Kurogane, but only for a second, before he looked away once more. His gaze fell to the ground, as he tried to maintain his calm.

"I take it you're aware of the agreement."

"You're damn right I am. You're lucky he gave me a warning about you coming here, too. One wrong move, and your ass is mine." The ruby eyes were fixated in a glare on the blonde male before him. Fai held his hand a little more tightly than before, and touched his forearm with his free hand.

"Kuro-rin, please..._Please_...?" He didn't want to start an unnecessary fight. His Father wasn't even standing too close to them yet, so he wanted to see where things would go.

The raven relaxed his body slightly, and muttered an agreement. Fai knew that he was only doing so because he'd asked it of him. But he was pleased that the raven was listening.

"...I wonder if I might have a word with my son..._Privately?_ We'll stay where you can see us..." Taijo kept his eyes on the ground, not daring to meet the red eyed gaze that he could feel _burning_ into him. He could hear the raven shifting, but his son stopped him from whatever it was that he was about to say, or do.

"Kuro-rin, it's alright. We'll stay where you can see us, okay?" Fai leaned up, kissing his fiancée on the cheek. Taijo watched the two in silence, as his son released his hold on the raven, and stepped in his Father's direction. Kurogane's face showed a genuine concern, but Fai gave him a warm, reassuring smile.

"If I need you, I'll just signal for you to come to me...I'll be right where you can see me. Chi, you keep your eye on him for me. Make sure he doesn't jump the gun."

"I will..." She looked just as concerned as Kurogane did, as the two walked away.

They stayed within Kurogane's line of sight...But they were _definitely_ out of earshot. They stood so that their facial expressions could be seen, and their body language would be easier to read. And they stood a little more than an arm's length apart.

"I...I don't know where to begin..." Taijo broke the silence between them, not meeting his son's gaze. He felt ashamed of himself, for the way in which he'd treated him. He knew that he could never fully make it up to him...But dammit, he could make some of it right again. He'd never be able to repair the damage of his son's past, but that didn't mean that he couldn't lay down a steadier platform for his future.

Fai didn't answer, unsure of what it was that his Father wanted to say, especially in private.

_Their private conversations had never gone over well._

"Yuui..." He trailed, when he lifted his head, and noted his son's wide eyes, and locked frame. He understood the mistake then, and shook his head,

"No...I shouldn't call you that. You _hate_ being called that. It's just hard, calling you by your brother's name...But I think that after everything that I've done, that is the very_ least_ I can do."

Fai's stance didn't relax again, and there was that unmistakable fear in his eyes. The fear he'd seen in his own eyes, the night that Kurogane had broken into his home, and attacked him. Finally seeing it, and truly _seeing it_...It hurt him. He'd never paid the expression any mind beforehand, but now...

"...Fai..." He managed to say the name, and his son blinked, his stance still tight, and frightened.

"...Fai, I'm sorry...For what I've done to you...For _all_ of it..." He inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly, trying not to lose himself to his emotions. He needed to say it all now, before he couldn't say it at all.

"I...I'm the biggest idiot that has ever lived. I harassed you because of old _folk tales_ that my family told me. And I _hurt_ _you_ because you told us that you're gay. I hurt you...Emotionally, and psychologically, and physically...I _ruined_ your life, because of my own ignorance. I tried to destroy your sexuality, because I thought that you were making a _choice_...But I know now that it's _not_ a choice. It's not something that you _decided_ you were going to do, simply because you could. It's not some_ phase_ that you're going to grow out of. It's just...It's a part of you. A part of who you are...And Fai, I've _no right_ to take that from you, or to _try_ to take it from you."

The younger of the blondes relaxed his stance slightly, allowing himself to breathe a little more normally.

"A lot led up to this...This _apology_...Kurogane beat some sense into me, and that definitely did some work. Chi became angry with me, when she saw me watching you at her wedding...And she snapped, and she had every right to do so...Subaru's Mother talked me into reality...And then you, and Kurogane...And Hideki, and Chi...You all showed up when Ash...When Ashura..." He couldn't say anything more for a moment, so he took a second to swallow past the lump that was building in his throat.

"...When your Uncle, came into my home. You were all there...And _you_ were the one who stood up for me...And Chi tells me you were originally going to come alone..."

"...No one deserves to be hurt...Especially not in_ that_ department..." Fai murmured. His Father sighed, his breath shaking.

"You're right. And you didn't deserve _any_ of the things that I did to you. I beat you, relentlessly, Fai. I had no right to do that, no matter what excuses I was using, to justify my actions. I had no right to lay a single finger on you, _ever_..." His voice cracked slightly, as he tried to keep himself as composed as was humanly possible.

"I accused you of your brother's death, even though we both knew that he was sick. I drove you towards suicide, time and time again. I interrupted your life, when I had no business stepping in...I tried to drive you from the _one person_ that you love more than life itself..."

Fai stared now, surprised that his Father had used the word _love,_ while referring to _Kurogane_.

"And I can see how much you love him, Fai...In the way that you look at him, in the way that you hold his hand, or touch his arm...They're small, but intimate gestures...And the fact that he is so protective of you...That he broke into my house, to hurt me, for hurting you...That proves to me, that you mean something to him. It shows me that this _isn't_ just a _sexual_ thing, and that there's an actual _relationship,_ between the two of you...And the way he looks at you...The way he holds on to you, and the fact that he listens to you, even though he hates me, and would probably like to rip me to shreds – which I can't blame him for – it all just shows me how much you mean to him...And how ignorant, and stupid I've been."

The younger blonde didn't know how to feel. This was a lot to take in at once, and his Father was pouring his heart out before him...

"I lost your Mother...There was nothing that I could do, to save her. She died, and I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening...And the same happened to your brother...And instead of drawing you in closer, and taking the time to know you...I pushed away from you. I turned myself against you, for foolish reasons. For ignorant, _ridiculous_ reasons. I hated you for _loving, _Fai, and that's not okay. The fact that I hated you, simply because you _loved_...It's not okay..._Regardless_ of my past. Regardless of what your Uncle has done to me...You and Kurogane are _not_ in the same situation, or even a _similar _one. He _loves_ you, and you love him. It's that simple, and I only wish that I could've seen it for myself, sooner. And I wish that I had never pushed away from you...Your life is not guaranteed, because of your illness, but I hope that you pull through...I'd like a chance to get to know my son...If I could..."

"...Dad..."

"...Chi told me that she was going to walk you down the aisle...And I don't want her to...I know I don't deserve this, at all...But it's your wedding day, and you're _my_ son...So I wondered, if perhaps..._I_ could walk you down the aisle...Down to your official new life, with the only other man that I _know_ I can trust to take care of you, in the ways that I never did. In the ways that I should have all along."

"...Oh Dad..." Fai didn't know what to do...His Father was _crying._ It was the first time in a long time that he'd witnessed his Father cry. And he was so sincere, that it broke the younger blonde's heart to see him that way. So he did what he felt came naturally to him.

_He stepped forward, and hugged him._

He was slightly surprised, when his Father held on to him, tightly, but not tightly enough to hurt him.

"Fai...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Fai didn't know what to say, so he just held his Father closer.

**TT**

The wedding had been absolutely _beautiful._

Taijo had walked his son down the aisle, and the two had never been closer. He'd told his son that he was proud of him...And that was something that he'd_ never_ said to him before. When they'd finally reached their destination, he had released his son's hand, letting Kurogane take him from there.

The vows had been beautiful, and the kiss had been tender, and loving...And Taijo had watched it happen. And he'd found, that he wasn't disturbed by the action at all. He was on a journey to acceptance, and he was making _great_ progress.

Once they'd all settled down for some dinner...Things really did pick up. Taijo and Fai sat across from one another, talking about things. About all sorts of mundane things. About adventures that Fai himself had been on over the years. Kurogane sat at his husband's side, surprised, but content. As long as the blonde was happy, he was happy.

Raiko joined in on the telling of adventures, as did Subaru – who recalled the time in which Fai had helped him to overcome his fear of jumping off of the cliff. Tomoyo spoke of the bet that Kurogane and Fai had made, which had resulted in Kurogane wearing a dress.

"I'm going to set those pictures on fire," the raven muttered.

"No! You can't burn those pictures, or get rid of the videos. That was _fun!_" Fai leaned on the raven's arm, laughing again, as the images floated back into his head.

"For _you,_ maybe. I was the one in the dress, remember?"

"You got cocky. And you learned a lesson. _You're_ stronger, but _I'm_ faster."

The raven rolled his eyes, but smiled at the locks of blonde hair on his arm. He couldn't be mad about the bet that _he_ had started.

"Don't forget about the gay Harry Potter Halloween video!" Sakura announced, laughing as the memory came back to her. That night had ended badly...But the video was still hilarious. Tomoyo started laughing as well, as she remembered the ridiculous interview.

They continued on like that. Laughing, and talking. They spent the day together that way, until the night began to settle in on them. The group returned to Kurogane and Fai's home – with the exception of Taijo – and everyone settled into their pajamas. They claimed that it had been a long day, and it had been...So everyone retreated to their bedrooms for the evening.

And – once the door had closed and locked behind them – Fai sighed, and plopped down onto the bed. He sprawled out on his stomach, exhausted from the day. His emotions had gone on a roller coaster, and it had taken a lot of out of him. He was spent.

Kurogane could see how physically worn out Fai had become, and it worried him. He was supposed to be taking things easy, but his emotions had been everywhere that day. He'd been stressed out, and that had used up a lot of his energy. And he'd been excited, which had also used up a lot of his energy. And the day had been spent in so much happiness, and it had been such a thrill...He'd gotten himself worked up, and now he was physically paying the price.

The raven climbed into bed, next to his husband. He laid himself down on his back, and curled his right arm around the blonde, easing him into his hold. Fai's head rested on his chest; his right hand settled over the raven's heartbeat, and his left hand curled over the hand on his shoulder.

"How're you feeling?" His voice was gentle, only because he knew how tired the blonde was.

"I'm okay...I'm _tired,_ but I'm okay...And definitely the happiest person on the planet right now..." There was a smile in his voice, and Kurogane was happy to hear it.

"Oh? And why's that?" He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Fai talking. It had been a while since his voice had sounded so strong...

"Hmm...I'm married to the greatest man I've ever known...And I'm home, in our bed, in his arms...I'm in the most comfortable place that I've ever known, and I feel great...What about you? How are you feeling?" He snuggled into the strong chest, as the raven's left hand came to cover the hand on his heart.

"I've got you here beside me...What else do I need to say?" He kissed the top of the blonde's head, loving the little chuckle that escaped his lips.

"And I'm glad...I'm glad that you, and your Father, are on better terms now. It'll take some time for me to really trust him, but I'm glad that he's decided to change."

"So am I...Kuro-rin?" He'd had a thought, and he wanted to ask, before he fell asleep. The raven acknowledged him, showing that he was listening.

"...Will you go somewhere with me tomorrow? Just us?" When he was questioned on where it was that they were going, Fai had a simple answer,

"To meet someone. I think it's about time I introduced you."

**TT**

He was holding his husband's hand, as they walked. Neither of them spoke, and the silence swelled around them. They had been here together only once before...But that had been a bad time, and one of them had been unconscious.

This time though, the blonde wasn't afraid of what the raven might find. He was more worried about how he would react, to what it was that they were doing.

Still, he tugged him along, until he found what he was looking for. And once they'd reached their destination, he freed his hand, and sat down. Kurogane wordlessly sat down next to him. The silence thickened for a moment, and then Fai found his voice.

"...Hi Mom..." A breeze touched them, but it was warm, and comforting.

Kurogane blinked in confused surprise, and turned his attention to his husband. He found him smiling...Which meant that he was used to this. His Mother was really there with them, floating on the very tails of the wind itself. And Fai talked to her, using the changes in the wind to signify what her responses were.

It was bewildering. He'd never experienced something so surreal...But it was happening. Fai's Mother – Chiharu, the tombstone read – was communicating with them.

_And for a moment, Kurogane wondered if the same could happen with his own family._

The blonde introduced him then, officially, and he greeted her gently, unsure of how to feel. He supposed that it shouldn't surprise him, that Fai communicated with his deceased family members. He'd lost them both, at relatively the same time...

They stayed for a while, before the blonde decided that it was time for them to go. Kurogane was on his feet again, and he allowed for the blonde to tug him along. But they weren't really leaving. No, they were just travelling to another location, and the raven knew immediately where they were going.

He knew it before they reached the tombstone. And he confirmed it when his husband sat down in front of it – looking even more comfortable than he had when he'd sat before his Mother's tomb. The blonde tugged on the raven's hand, and he forced himself to sit down. He didn't let go of Fai's hand though. He couldn't. Not when his name was written on the tombstone before them.

But it _wasn't_ his name. And Kurogane knew it, but sometimes, the blonde made it so damn easy to forget that fact.

"...Hey Fai," the blonde spoke up gently. It was odd, listening to him speaking the name. A name that he lived under...But that wasn't actually bound to him.

The breeze that hit them then, was powerful...But it was so warm, and comforting, that it seemed to wrap itself around them. And Fai...No, _Yuui,_ was so surprised, that he actually started to _laugh._ He leaned against his husband's shoulder.

"I thought that you'd like to officially meet Kurogane."

**TT**

When they had left the tomb, and had begun to walk in the direction that they had originally come into the cemetery from, Kurogane stopped walking.

Fai turned questioning eyes to him, as he was holding his hand, and he'd been forced to stop in his tracks.

"Kuro-rin? What's the matter?"

"...Do you think we could...? I mean...They're nearby...I haven't gone since their...Their..." He cleared his throat, unable to say the word: _funerals._ The blonde blinked in response, as it dawned on him that the raven wanted to introduce him to his parents.

"...Of course. Let's go see them...I'm sure they'll be happy that you came to visit..."

So they went together, taking their time in getting there. There was no need for them to rush. Kurogane's hand was clutching on to Fai's hand, tightly, and the blonde didn't mind. He just held on to his husband, knowing how hard this was for him. But he also knew that he wanted him to be introduced to his parents _now,_ as he wasn't sure if they'd get this chance later.

And once they reached the tombstone – a shared, rectangular tombstone, with her picture and information on one side, and his on the other – Fai released his husband's hand. The raven didn't know how to feel, until he realized that the blonde had only done it, in order to pull some vines off of the stone. He did it gently, carefully...As though he were afraid of hurting the people that resided there.

And once he'd completed his task, he returned to his raven, took his hand, and sat down. He tugged him down next to himself, carefully. Silence enveloped them, and Kurogane swallowed hard.

"I don't know if I can do this...It's been so long..." His voice was a mere whisper. But Fai wasn't going to have any of that. He was sitting before the raven's parents, and even if there wasn't a response, something needed to be said.

"...Hello Mr. and Mrs. Suwa...Your son, You-oh, is here to see you..."

Kurogane felt his chest tighten at the name. _His birth name._ But then he felt something else, entirely.

_A warm breeze, with a powerful undertone. _

It swept through his hair, and brushed over his face. And he swore he could hear their voices, carrying on the wind.

"We came to visit you," the blonde murmured, gently,

"...My name is Yuui Flourite..."

The pain in Kurogane's chest, from hearing his own birth name, faded. He should have known...Fai wouldn't have called him You-oh, if he hadn't intended to introduce_ himself _as Yuui. He wasn't going to let the raven suffer alone. Their names were lost names...Forbidden names, that weren't meant to be spoken.

But here, in this place..._They'd make the exception._

**TT**

**(A.N:** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I know there were a lot of things mentioned in this chapter, that have happened in previous chapters. And, just so you guys don't have to go on a crazy hunt to find them, I'm going to list them here:

**Gay Harry Potter** AND **Kurogane Beating Up Taijo:** Chapter 25.

**Subaru's Cliff Jump:** Chapter 17.

**The Dress Bet:** Chapter 18.

**Song used for inspiration:** What If, by Safety Suit. Seriously guys, I was working on this fanfic ALL DAY yesterday, plus a big portion of today – as I've been up since 4:30 AM. The play count for this song, is now at: 314. I hope you people are happy. **R&R? I'd appreciate it!)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**(A.N: **Hey guys! It's been a little over six months since I last updated this fanfic...I'm sorry for the wait! I got pulled into the No. 6 fandom, and I finally managed to crawl out of my hole, long enough to write this update! So, hopefully you guys enjoy it. I'm trying not to fall too deeply into another hole, known as the Sherlock fandom. I watched the BBC show, and I am now hooked. But this is all off topic, and irrelevant, so I'm going to get back on track now! _"This means someone is talking over the phone."_ **"This means someone is speaking in another language."** And** TT** means time passing, or scene changes. I am done rambling now, so, I'm going to answer the reviews from the previous chapter, and you guys can get on with the story! **R&R?** I'd appreciate it!**)**

**Answering Reviews:**

**ShingetsuXMangetsu:**

Thank you! I am glad that you enjoyed the wedding scene. I wanted it to be a happy, and forgiving moment.

**TheGoth24:**

I hope that everything is going okay for you, and your family. I know that having a family member in the hospital can be extremely difficult, as I have been down that road a few times myself. I know this is all coming very, very late, and I apologize for that, but I hope that everything is okay nonetheless. I would also like to thank you for your review! I love to see descriptive reviews, and you shared your emotions with me, so that was extremely helpful in creating this new chapter. As for the ending, I reveal nothing.

**Luimeril:**

I am glad that you – and a few others – have watched the movie, because of this fanfic. A Walk To Remember is one of my favourites, and it makes me cry endless amounts of tears, whenever I watch it. I am so glad that you enjoyed the chapter, and that the emotions came through alright. Thank you for taking the time to review, I appreciate it!

**sathreal:**

I am glad that you think so! Thanks for the review!

**17BlackRoses:**

I am glad that the beginning of the chapter was seen as emotional, because it was very hard to write that scene, without crying. And I was happy to write the apology scene between Taijo, and Fai. I felt like this was a positive change for his character. Thank you for your review!

**3hourmonologue:**

Thank you for your review! I am glad that I am fulfilling your headcanons – though I have no idea what they are. XD Still, glad to hear that you're enjoying the fanfic!

**Carmen Veiga:**

I am so happy that you're enjoying the fanfic! I'm glad that the emotions came through properly! _"This story is amazing, and you are an amazing writer."_ Wow. I don't even know how to respond to that. Thank you. Really, that is just...Wow.

**Star Fantasy Writer:**

"_For now."_ I had a giggle fit when I read that line. All I could think was:_ "Yes, you know what I'm like. Angst. Angst in every single corner of this fanfic."_ Thanks for reviewing!

**AeroTundra:**

Feel free to marry the fanfic, but only if I can attend the wedding! XD

I'm glad that you found this chapter to be beautiful, and inspiring...Thank you!

**Jenmoon1:**

Thank you for the review!

**TT**

He had just stepped out of the bathroom – where Kurogane was still just finishing up with getting dressed – and back into their bedroom, when he heard it. It startled him, because he hadn't been expecting the noise, and confusion swept over him as he picked up his cell phone.

Shooter was calling him...But wasn't Shooter downstairs?

Answering the call, he unlocked the bedroom door, and tugged it open.

"Shooter? What's going on?" He was speaking into the cell phone's receiver, as he began his trek downstairs.

"_Fai, I...I didn't know who else to call...You're the only person I could think to call...I don't know what to do..."_ His voice was _anxious._

"You're not making any sense; what are you talking about?" He walked down the hallway, and into the living room. There was no sign of Shooter, or Raiko anywhere, but Kamui was on the couch, with a cup of coffee in his hands.

"_Fai, I need to see him, but I can't make myself go up there...I don't know how to do this. I need...I can't..."_

"...Shooter, what's going on? You're scaring me, what's happened?"

"_I...It's Raiko...He, uh...He's...Dammit!"_ His voice was breaking, and he sounded so completely _distraught..._

As Fai waited, he tugged on his shoes, concerned with the obvious distress in his friend's voice.

"_...He's in the hospital...He was in an accident..."_

His head reeled with this information, as he tried to steady himself against the front door. He knew he should be keeping himself calm...But this was serious. Raiko had_ never_ been in an accident before.

"**How-how bad?"** The words felt strange, coming from his lips. He hadn't used this dialect in years, and, because he didn't want many people to know that he could speak it, he labelled himself off a bilingual. English, and French; those were the only languages that he claimed to know.

But there had been a third. He had decided to learn it after meeting Raiko, and Shooter. They had learned it together, and used it as their secret code...

"_I have no idea...The Nurse said he was in surgery, so I have no idea..."_

_Surgery._ It was a lot more serious than he'd expected. Something had gone horribly wrong...

"**I'll be there soon."** He hung up the phone then, stuffing it into his pocket. He grabbed his keys, and unlocked the front door.

"Where are you going, Fai?" That was Kamui; who was watching him rather intently, from his position on the couch. But the blonde didn't answer. Instead, he pulled the door open, and rushed to get outside.

He was blinded by his emotions, and his surroundings were unclear. So when he crashed into the body of another person; he was both startled, and confused.

"Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?" That voice was familiar, and friendly...It took him a couple of seconds to realize that he'd collided with Fuuma.

"I need to go to the hospital." He'd reverted back to English again, knowing his friend wouldn't understand him otherwise. He tried to regain control over his breathing. He could feel his lungs becoming heavier, as that choking feeling crept up over him again.

He needed control, or else he'd end up coughing up blood...

"Alright...I'll take you then. I'll drive you over there. You're really not in a state to drive yourself." Fuuma took his keys easily, although he was reluctant to give them up. But there was no denying that what the raven had said was true.

_He really wasn't in a state to be driving._

**TT**

The two approached the hospital doors, and Fai rushed ahead, to attempt to comfort Shooter; who was clearly surprised by the fact that Fuuma had come along, instead of Kurogane.

"Long story," he was determined to figure out what had happened, and where Raiko was currently located. But he didn't get the chance to ask.

"**Police said he was riding his motorcycle – you know how I hate that thing – and he drove out on a red light. He wasn't paying attention to traffic, so he didn't see the pickup truck...It was going fast enough to send him off of his bike..."**

"**That's not like him...He always pays attention to where he's going, and what he's doing..."** His friend was the most careful of all drivers, and he'd yet to be in an accident; until now.

"**He was distracted."** It was evident by his tone, that there was more to this story than the blonde had first anticipated. He met his friend's gaze once more, questioning him with his eyes.

"**It's Mayu...She's here too."**

**TT**

Raiko was out of surgery, and just coming off of his sedation when he entered the room.

Seeing his friend looking so absolutely helpless, made him understand how his friends, and family must feel, whenever he himself ended up in the hospital.

He couldn't allow himself to think about that; not now. What mattered was his friend's condition. A Nurse had explained it to him...Apparently, he had ended up with a comminuted leg fracture, from the impact of the truck. He'd also ended up with some minor cuts and bruises, from his fall from his bike...But he was okay.

Surgery had gone well, his leg was elevated, and all of his other injuries had been tended to.

Now, as he began to stir, Fai took to the chair that was positioned at his bedside.

"Hey..."

The raven didn't reply at first. His chest heaved on his inhale, and when he exhaled, his eyes finally opened. His gaze shifted to the blonde at his bedside.

"Fai...?"

"You're stealing my scare tactic."

"Guess I should be a little more creative then," Raiko responded, knowing that his friend was only kidding. He knew how relieved he was to see him awake, and in relatively one piece.

"So...Are you going to tell me why you're in a hospital bed?" He knew that this had something to do with Mayu...But he didn't know the details.

"...Mayu!" He attempted to sit up, but Fai eased him back down, telling him not to move so much.

"Lush man, can you do me a favour? Can you go down to the maternity ward for me?"

"Maternity...Wait, she's _pregnant?_" Now the blonde was completely confused.

"_Was._ She gave birth really early this morning, and wouldn't let the hospital call me until a couple of hours ago. I was thinking about that on my way here...I was worried. She's not doing too well, because her fiancée died in an accident last month, and she doesn't know what she's going to do with her babies..."

"_Babies?_ She had _twins?_" He hadn't even known that she was pregnant to begin with.

"Actually, she had _triplets._"

Fai stared at his friend in disbelief. _Triplets._ Mayu had had triplets.

He frowned as he realized that she would be all alone, when it came to raising them...

"...See why I'm worried? _One_ baby is _more_ than enough, in her situation. How is she going to care for _three?_" It wasn't that the raven doubted the woman in question. He just knew her well enough to know that she was stressing out, and unsure of how she would handle everything.

When he didn't receive an answer, he turned his attention back to the blonde, and arched a brow, when he realized he was texting.

"Fai? What're you doing?"

"Telling your boyfriend that you're awake, and that he needs to take my place."

**TT**

He stepped into the room, looking nervous, and _scared..._

"Suya...It's okay..._I'm_ okay..." Raiko rarely ever called his boyfriend by anything other than Shooter. But this was a hospital, so they needed to be discreet.

_And he needed the reassurance._

The raven in question came towards the bed, and sat down in the chair that Fai had abandoned upon sending the text. Emerald eyes traced over the damage, and he cringed when he looked towards the elevated leg.

"Comminuted leg fracture. It's the worst of my injuries, everything else is minor."

"I hate that damn bike." He cradled his boyfriend's left hand between both of his own. He was glad that he was okay. He'd been terrified out of his mind, when he'd heard that he'd been in an accident, and that had led to him panicking. He didn't do well with hospitals. Not after what he'd lost in one.

"I know you do...And I can see how worked up you've been getting...I'm sorry..."

Shooter was trying his hardest to keep his composure, so he leaned forward, capturing Raiko's lips in a gentle, and loving kiss.

"I thought I'd lost you..."

Raiko felt the guilt coursing through him, as he reached up with his free hand, to pull the emerald eyed male down into another kiss. He knew about his history, and why he been so absolutely terrified.

And knowing only made him feel worse.

**TT**

Fai had discreetly exited the room, and closed the door behind himself with a sigh. His friend was okay, which meant that all that was left for him to do, was check in on Mayu.

But he would wait a little longer, before he did so. Because he could hear them coming. Rushed footsteps, unmistakably belonging to Kurogane, and Chi. One was undoubtedly panicking, while the other was simply confused, and trying to keep up.

"Fai!" The deep voice grabbed his attention, and he turned his head to look. He wasn't surprised to see his husband running towards him, nor was he when he was pulled into the raven's powerful embrace.

"You scared me. What the hell happened?" Those muscular arms stayed wrapped around him, even as Chi finally caught up to them.

"Raiko was in an accident. He has a comminuted leg fracture, and he's gone through surgery. He should be alright now."

"I told you it didn't matter how long you drive one; motorcycles are _not_ safe."

"He was distracted, Kuro-rin. He was worried about Mayu." He pulled back slightly, and turned towards Chi,

"I'm supposed to go and check on her."

"She's here too? Is she alright?" Chi was completely lost.

"She's in the Maternity Ward."

Her expression changed from one of confusion, to one of surprised understanding. A smile broke out across her features, and she looked absolutely thrilled.

"Can I go with you?"

"Of course! She'd be happy to see you. And besides..." He turned his attention to Kurogane,

"She'll want to know all about you, Kuro-rin."

"Are you sure it's okay to leave Raiko here?" The raven knew that the male was okay, but he still didn't like the idea of him being alone; even in a hospital.

"He's fine. Tetsuya is in with him now." His answer was simple and he knew his sister would understand the explanation, but...

"Tetsuya?" Kurogane had never heard the name before.

Fai pulled himself out of his husband's embrace, and went to take his hand. As he did so, he pressed his thumb, index, and middle fingers against the raven's palm, in the form of a hand gun. He kept that position for only a second, before interlocking their fingers.

Understanding displayed itself in Kurogane's expression, as he allowed Fai to tug him along. Tetsuya was Shooter's real name, though he didn't use it, for whatever reason. He wouldn't pry, as it would be rather hypocritical of him to do so. Instead, he would respect the male's boundaries, and continue to address him by his alias.

**TT**

"Kuro-rin? Did you hear me?"

He blinked as he looked down at the blonde. He wasn't sure who this _Mayu _person was, or what kind of relationship Fai shared with her, but he_ did _know that it shouldn't _matter._ They were married; bound together by a bond that was far too powerful for words. And even if Fai wasn't tied to him because of a ring, it wouldn't matter.

_Their hearts had been fused together._

"I said: _I'm going in alone for a minute._ She's not expecting us, so I'll get her comfortable with the idea of guests, before you two come in."

"...Alright." He was reluctant to let him go, but he wasn't going to stop him, either.

A smile spread itself across Fai's features. He'd been in these shoes several times before – with Fuuma – and this was the first time that he'd ever seen Kurogane push away his doubts, to allow him to go to someone else. He was rather proud of him for being so strong, despite not knowing all of the details.

Leaning up, he brushed a kiss over the raven's lips; content when he responded. They remained that way for a moment, before Fai pulled back slightly.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Je t'aime aussi."

He loved to hear his husband speaking French to him. He'd been the one to teach him the language, and Kurogane had eventually explained that he'd wanted to learn it, because of his Mother.

She had wanted to learn it herself, and she had never gotten the chance.

Smiling slightly, Fai stepped away, and headed into Mayu's hospital room.

He knew that her situation was difficult, and that his visit would be a welcome surprise, so he kept quiet upon entering the room. He waited for her to clue in to his presence, as he studied her. She hadn't changed much, since he'd last seen her. She still had that long, ebony hair, and those brilliant amethyst eyes.

But now, they contained a sorrow, a pain. She was hurting, and stressed. She didn't know what to do, and it was evident by her expression.

However, most of it disappeared, when she realized that she had company.

"...Fai?" Disbelief in her voice, and a spark of delight in her eyes, she nearly climbed out of bed, but he stopped her, thinking it was best for her to stay seated in her current condition.

"Hi Mayu..."

"How did you-? You've been to see _Raiko,_ haven't you? How is he? Is he alright?" The amethyst eyed girl questioned him with every possible thought, as he came to sit on the edge of her bed. Chuckling, he managed to answer.

"Your brother is fine. He's got a comminuted leg fracture, and some cuts, and bruises. But all in all, he's fine. He wanted me to come and see you, to make sure you were okay." He opened his arms for a hug, which she gladly fell into, with a sigh.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Fai." The concern was evident in her tone, and he tried to reassure her that everything would be alright.

"How can you be so sure? I've got three kids, a house that I can't afford to live in anymore, and a giant hospital bill. And, on top of it all, Raiko's been injured, because of me."

"Hey, Raiko's a big boy. He'll be fine. Now, the real concern is you, and these babies." He pulled back to look her in the eye, as he said it. She frowned, the stress visible in her expression, as she ran a hand through her hair.

"A Nurse took them out for some final tests. They'll be back soon. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I can only afford to keep one of them with me, and that's adding in the fact that I have to downsize to a smaller house, maybe even an apartment. But what do I do with my other two? Where do I put them? I can't give them up for adoption; I don't want my children to grow up not knowing one another."

"That is a tough spot to be in. But we'll figure something out, alright?" He was trying to be reassuring, though he knew that there was only so much that he could do to help. Maybe he could use his saved funds, in order to help her to pay off her hospital bill. It wasn't much, but it would definitely _dent it,_ in the very least...

"...Chi?"

Fai blinked, and turned around, realizing that his sister was standing in the room. He wasn't surprised that she had decided to come in without waiting for his cue, so he offered her a smile, as she approached their friend's bedside.

After the two women hugged, Chi spoke up.

"I wanted to let you know that you won't have to worry about your hospital bill. It'll be taken care of. And anything else that you may need, all of it will be taken care of." She met her brother's gaze, silently confirming that these were Kurogane's words.

"Chi...You can't..."

"No, I can't. I'm not." She smiled slightly at her friend's confusion, before she headed towards the door. She didn't offer an explanation. She simply opened the door, and waited for the raven to step into the room.

As he did so, Mayu stared at him, completely awestruck. She had never seen him before in her life, nor had she ever seen anyone that was built quite like he was. He was tall, muscular, and rather intimidating in appearance. But Chi seemed to trust him...

"I should have known that you'd get involved." That was Fai, who was smiling at the raven haired male. The look was fond, and loving; it piqued Mayu's curiousity, as she watched the two of them.

The stranger didn't reply, though he did smile. It was slight, but it was there, and Fai rolled his eyes with a chuckle, in answer.

"Thank you, Kuro-rin. You didn't have to make that offer."

"She's your friend, isn't she? I know that you want to help her, so it only seemed right." He didn't add in the fact that he wouldn't have been able to live with himself, had he left this woman stranded with three babies, and no way to care for them all.

"Yes, this is Mayu; she's a friend of the family, and she's also Raiko's older sister."

Kurogane blinked, and arched a brow. He hadn't realized that the male in question had any siblings. Though of course, he didn't know much about him in general, except for the few things that he'd learned through experience, and through his husband.

"Well, all the more reason to help then. Raiko would likely have my ass if I didn't." He was joking, of course. The amethyst eyed male would never _dream_ of asking for any assistance, _especially_ from someone he hadn't known very long.

"And since when are you afraid of anyone that's smaller than you are?" Fai knew that the raven was only teasing. And he was very well aware that Kurogane had more than one motive in wanting to help. While he didn't connect to people too easily; he also wasn't heartless. There were three very young lives on the line, and he had a soft spot for twins, thanks to a certain blonde. And triplets weren't much different in his eyes.

Kurogane answered with a bit of chuckle, as a Nurse entered the room, pushing a rather large incubator. She wheeled it up to Mayu's bedside, and opened it up, with a smile.

"All three babies are doing great. They're all healthy, all of their tests turned up positive results, and they are ready to go home with their Mommy."

"Oh Mayu, they're adorable!" Chi announced, looking down at the tiny bundles affectionately.

The Nurse dismissed herself quietly, as Mayu looked down at her children.

"Aren't they precious? I knew what to name the girl the second I saw her, but the boys..." She trailed, looking frustrated with herself, for not being able to name her sons.

"It's better not to rush. You'll think of something." Chi stroked her fingers over the arms of the smallest baby; one of the boys.

"Now, who do _you_ remind me of?" She mused, smiling at the little bundle, as he squirmed around slightly, testing the movements of his limbs.

Fai chuckled, and shook his head with a bit of a smile.

"I take it you mean _me._"

"Of course! But your hair was lighter," she murmured, stroking her fingers over the dark wisps of hair that adorned the top of the baby's head. It had been a long time since Chi had last seen a baby. She'd been six years old when her brothers were born, and a lot of time had passed since then.

Fai slipped off of the bed, carefully, and went to look down into the incubator himself.

Three little wiggling forms looked all around themselves, though Fai knew that they couldn't see very much. Newborns could only see a distance of about eight to ten inches. He wondered how the world must look to them, so blurry, so out-of-focus.

Kind of like his vision, he realized, as he tried not to panic.

His eyes blurred the incubator, and all of its occupants. And when he took a step back - to ensure the safety of the babies, should he fall - he realized that the entire room was a big, cloudy mess.

"Fai?" Kurogane's voice called out to him, though his tone was gentle. The blonde hadn't even realized that he'd backed right into his husband. He'd just been trying to put distance between himself, and Mayu's children, because he didn't trust his own balance.

"Fai? What's wrong?" The voice was a little more concerned this time, and he felt the familiar heat of the raven's hand on his shoulder.

"Kuro...Dizzy..." His words sounded slurred, even to him. What was _happening?_ He'd been _fine_ mere seconds ago, and now he couldn't see anything clearly.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that Kurogane had lifted him up into his arms. He supposed that this was for the best, as he was prone to fainting. At least this way, he didn't risk falling in the first place.

"Should we get you a Doctor?" He was worried, and unsure of what to do. But Fai didn't feel like being poked, and prodded.

"Wait. Might stop on its own." He was tired of feeling like a rat in a laboratory; subjected to medications, and needles. If he could avoid it, then he would.

"Fai, I really think we should get you a Doctor." That was Chi. He'd forgotten that she was in the room with them. He knew that she was very stubborn about getting her way, when it came down to him getting help. But he hoped that she might go easy on him.

"Really, Chi, I'm okay." But he _wasn't._ Not quite yet.

He leaned his head against his husband's shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent, in the hopes that it would help him with calming himself back down. Deep breaths, those were the key, weren't they? He needed to be calm, or his body would go into overdrive, and then he _would _need a Doctor. He wouldn't be able to avoid the situation if it came down to that, so he needed to get a handle on things now, while he still had the chance.

He tried to force himself into focusing on his surroundings, and he slowly allowed his body to slump in his husband's hold, as his vision returned, and his body relaxed.

"You okay?"

"...Yeah." He sighed in relief, unsure of what had brought the dizziness onto him in the first place.

He was just glad that it was over.

**TT**

"No way. _You_ are staying _here,_ and _that_ is _final._" Chi was adamant that her brother stay home, especially after his little dizzy spell at the hospital.

"No, I'm not. I'm going to Mayu's house, to help with moving stuff. You should stay here, with Raiko, and Shooter, considering you know how to care for babies."

She wasn't impressed, but she knew she couldn't argue. She knew how to care for babies. She had changed plenty of diapers, and bottle fed two little boys. And now, one of those little boys had grown up, and wasn't listening to her advice any longer.

"Fai..."

"I'm not staying. I have to help out, Chi. I can't sit here and do nothing, I've done enough of that in my lifetime. And besides, you know how to handle them," he gestured to the three little bundles that were currently lying on the pull out couch, tucked between Raiko, and Shooter.

She sighed in defeat, knowing that there was no winning here. Mayu couldn't stay herself, as she had to go to the house, to dictate what she was keeping, and what she would be getting rid of. So the only other person that could stay behind, and be useful, was Chi.

"...No heavy lifting, okay?"

"Okay. No heavy lifting. I'll leave that to Kuro-rin."

"If you need to take a break, you take one, understand?" She knew that having her brother make promises, wasn't entirely useful, but it would give her a little peace of mind.

"Yes ma'am," he teased, giving her a hug, which she returned, before pulling away, and turning her attention to Kurogane.

"_Try_ to control your husband, okay?"

"I'll keep an eye on him." He turned his attention to the two ravens that were resting on the pull out couch.

"You," he pointed to Raiko as he said it,

"No moving, unless it's a washroom break."

"Yes sir," Raiko teased, saluting Kurogane with a grin.

The taller raven turned to Shooter next,

"And you. Make sure that your _boy-toy-candy_ doesn't move around too much."

The grin on Raiko's face, faltered. His expression turned disbelieving, as he blinked in surprised confusion.

He had referred to Kurogane as Fai's _boy-toy-candy,_ over the phone, while talking to Chi. He hadn't realized that the taller raven had been told about that, however.

Fai started to tremble with laughter - which he was desperately trying to contain - as he stepped out of the house. Raiko's expression had been absolutely priceless. He wasn't used to being taken off guard like that, and apparently Shooter found it to be rather amusing as well, because he was chuckling.

**TT**

They had been moving things around for a few hours now.

They were bringing everything out of the house, and setting it all down in piles. The keep pile had been separated into two very distinctly different piles; one was larger than the other. The larger pile was filled with things that were going to be placed in storage, while the smaller pile was filled with things that Mayu knew that she would need; clothes, bathroom necessities, etc. The other piles were filled with things that she was either going to sell, give away, or throw out. She had been meaning to clean the house out for ages, but she had never been able to bring herself to doing so, as she had been too upset by her fiancée's death to want to get rid of any of his things.

But now, she had no choice. She could not afford to keep all of his belongings any longer.

This was another reason that Fai had been so insistent on coming out to help.

He knew how difficult this situation happened to be, and that letting go wouldn't be easy. Especially considering the fact that so little time had passed since the loss of her fiancée...

He felt bad, as he picked up a relatively heavy box - breaking his promise to his sister - and carried it outside to the sell pile. It was a box filled with some of the previously mentioned male's more expensive clothing, and Mayu hoped that by selling it, she might make a little money. She had money saved up, enough to care for her children for a while, and to cover some of their expenses. But she wanted to have more, so that she could hold off on that nagging feeling of guilt, which was already taking a hold of her. She was getting so much help, from so many people...And she didn't feel as though she deserved any of it.

But she was thankful nonetheless.

Fai had been working nonstop this entire time, although he had promised to take breaks here and there. He hadn't felt the need as of yet, but he was starting to feel tired. He knew he shouldn't be pushing himself so hard, so when his cell phone started ringing a familiar tune, he decided that he'd take that opportunity to sit down for a minute.

After setting down the box that he'd been carrying, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, and hit _talk._ He knew who was calling him, and he'd been expecting the call, but it was still new to him. He wasn't used to receiving pleasant phone calls from this number.

"Hello?" He tried desperately not to sound too nervous.

"_Hello Fai."_ The blonde relaxed slightly upon hearing the name, knowing how difficult it was for this man to address him by it.

"Hey Dad, I take it you got my message?" It had been difficult to leave it, as he was almost never alone. Kurogane generally stuck to him like glue, and when it wasn't the raven, it was Fuuma, or Kamui.

"_I did...Are you okay? You sound worn out."_ There was genuine concern in his tone, which made Fai smile. He wasn't used to this, but he was enjoying it.

"I'm fine. I've just been hel-" The sentence trailed off as his vision began to blur.

"_...Fai?"_ His Father's voice was worried now, as he tried to stutter out the rest of the sentence.

"I've just been hel...Help...Help-ing," he'd had to gulp in the middle of the word, as his world began to move in an unnatural fashion. It was like his eyes had become a broken movie reel, shifting down vertically, over and over again, as he desperately tried to get himself into a sitting position, without breaking anything.

But his legs didn't want to cooperate, and he couldn't get his body to do what he wanted it to.

"Helping M-Mayu with her m-move..." He'd remembered to finish his sentence, though it had taken some time. His Father was beginning to panic, asking him what was wrong, and whether or not he was okay, but Fai didn't know how to answer. He didn't even know whether or not he _could._

The blonde couldn't focus, and the vertical shifts were making him feel nauseous. He stumbled, while trying to force his body into a sitting position, but he couldn't make himself go down. He was too afraid that if he went down, he'd pass out, and he wasn't in the mood to be waking up in the hospital again, he'd had enough of that damned place already.

"Fai?" A different voice questioned his name, but he couldn't determine where it was coming from, though he did recognize who was speaking to him.

"What's wrong?" Closer now, but the voice sounded like it was echoing in his head, as did his Father's voice, as he continued to question him through the receiver.

"...Fuuma...Can't...Dizzy..." He couldn't even explain the fact that he currently couldn't see anything clearly, or that he felt as though he was going to faint. He didn't want to faint. Fainting meant a direct trip to the hospital.

He felt his friend's study hands on his shoulders, and he allowed him to guide his body into sitting down. Fuuma sat down near him, and tugged the blonde into lying down, his head in the raven's lap.

Fai groaned, and curled up around his friend's knees. He closed his eyes, and set down his phone, as he tried to focus on breathing. If he could get his body to relax, he would be okay. If he could force himself into being okay, then he wouldn't have to go to the hospital.

Fuuma gingerly ran his fingers through the blonde's hair, trying to soothe him. He was concerned. He'd heard about Fai's dizzy spell at the hospital earlier that day, and now he was having another one. Things were taking a turn for the worst. His body hadn't solidified his illness yet, and at the rate that things were going...

He tried not to think about that, as stared down at his friend, completely oblivious to Kurogane, and Kamui, standing on the porch.

The shorter of the two ravens, set down the box he'd been carrying, and dashed off the porch. He rushed down the stairs, towards his fiancée, and their friend.

"Fai! Fuuma, is he okay?"

Kurogane watched him go, awestruck with the fact that Kamui never seemed to be jealous of their relationship.

No matter how many times Kamui saw Fuuma hugging Fai, or sitting with him, or joking around with him; he never seemed bothered by the fact that it was happening. And Kurogane knew that the shorter raven saw it all happening, so it wasn't as though he simply hadn't _noticed._ It was impossible _not_ to notice those two. When they were together, they were noisy, and goofy, and extremely close...They loved one another, they had made that perfectly clear.

But, he realized, they'd made something else even _clearer._

They had made it very obvious that, while they did indeed love one another, there were other people that they loved even more.

For Fuuma, this meant Kamui; who sat down next to him, with one hand on Fai's forehead, checking his temperature. They were bound together, just as Kurogane knew that he himself was bound to Fai.

He set down the box that he'd been carrying, and hurried down the porch steps, knowing that he needed to be there for his husband.

He crouched in front of them, wondering what it was that he should do. However, he wasn't confused for long, because as soon as Fuuma let Fai know that his husband was there, the blonde wanted to go to him. He wanted the raven. He would _always_ want the raven.

So, being careful in doing so, Kurogane scooped the lithe male up into his arms, cradling him in the warmth, and security of his hold.

He wasn't surprised when Fai buried his face in his shoulder; he had done the same thing back at the hospital. If anything, he found it to be _amusing._

"I'm beginning to think that my shoulder has some kind of healing ability." He was trying to lighten the mood.

The blonde chuckled weakly in answer, and mumbled something about his scent, and feeling better. He hadn't been expecting for him to be so honest, though he knew that it shouldn't surprise him. Fai was rather open, and liked to tease his husband endlessly. And although he tried to hide it, Kurogane couldn't stop himself from blushing slightly.

This seemed to be a little too intimate to be talking about in front of their friends, so he was glad that Fuuma appeared to be busy with Fai's cell phone. Kamui was still with him, but he seemed to be paying more attention to what Fuuma was saying, than to what Fai was mumbling.

The realization that their friends likely hadn't heard what had been said, made him sigh in relief. Fai chuckled against his shoulder, knowing that he had flustered his husband.

"That wasn't funny."

"Of course it was." He smiled as he continued,

"...And thank you, for coming to get me. I know I was safe with Fuuma, but I relax more when I'm with you."

"You were supposed to take breaks." He shifted the blonde into his left arm, freeing his right hand, as Fuuma got to his feet. He accepted Fai's cell phone when it was offered to him.

"I know. I should have listened...I'm sorry..."

Kurogane pressed the phone up to his ear, knowing that the person on the other end was Taijo.

"He's okay."

"_Well that's a relief. He had me worried there, he started to stutter, and he sounded like he was struggling to speak. I thought, maybe..."_ He didn't finish what he trying to say, but he didn't need to. Kurogane knew_ exactly _what he was implying. He couldn't come up with a reply, as the image filled his head, so he passed the phone back to its owner in silence.

"Dad?"

"_Fai! I know that everyone said you were okay, but it's much more reassuring to hear your voice."_ The concerned tone still seemed so bizarre to him, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

"I'm fine. Now, about our conversation from earlier..."

"_Right. I met up with him already, and he says we can come out tonight. So, whenever you're finished with helping your friend..."_

"Okay, that works. Tonight should be fine. I'll have Kurogane drop me off at the house, and then we can go together." It was obvious to the raven that _the house,_ was _not_ a reference to _their home._ It was a direct reference to the place in which Taijo lived; the home that Fai himself had been raised in.

"_Alright. Send a message my way, when you're getting close, and I'll make sure the car is ready."_

"Will do. Bye Dad." He waited for his Father to tell him goodbye, before closing his phone. He could feel the heat of Kurogane's gaze, as the raven studied him, waiting for answers...But he didn't want to give him the details of the conversation.

"...What?"

"What was that about?" He was suspicious, because Fai wanted to be taken right to his Father's territory, and Kurogane still didn't trust the older blonde.

"It wasn't anything important. I just wanted to visit an old family friend, so I figured I should ask my Dad about taking me." It was a lie. The person they were going to see wasn't an old friend. Fai had never met the man before in his life. But he knew that he needed to see him.

Kurogane didn't buy it. He looked annoyed that he'd been lied to, as he set his husband back on his own two feet.

"Kuro-rin?"

There was no answer, as the raven wandered away. Fai understood then, as he set his eyes downcast. He'd upset his husband. He'd lied, and he hated to do so, but he also didn't want to think about where it was that he was going, or why he was going there at all.

He just wanted to do it, get it done, and over with, and move on with his life.

With a shuddering sigh, he wandered off to find Mayu, knowing that he needed to take things easy for a while, and figuring that he could help her to make some decisions while he did so.

**TT**

The drive was quiet.

_Too quiet._

Tomoyo didn't like this. It meant that something bad had happened, and she wasn't sure what it was, but she hated to think that her cousin, and his husband, were fighting..._Again._

It seemed to be such a constant occurrence. They were happy together, and then they'd argue. It was usually something simple, and easy to fix...But sometimes it was so complex that it made Tomoyo _dizzy_ just _thinking_ about it.

The biggest problem, was the fact that she could never figure out which situation they happened to be in. And not knowing just made the silence that much worse.

She settled for staring out the window...Only to realize that they weren't going home.

"Where are we going?"

When no one bothered with answering her, she started to get anxious.

First Kurogane and Fai refuse to speak to one another. Now, they were going in an unfamiliar direction, to a place that wasn't home.

She turned to look at Mayu, wondering if perhaps she was familiar with their surroundings.

"...Are we going to your old house? I know you used to live down here..." The amethyst eyed woman was confused, as she watched the familiar surroundings pass by.

_Suddenly Tomoyo understood what was wrong._

Fai was going back to his old home, which meant that Taijo had something to do with this. Their relationship had never been great, and Kurogane didn't trust him...

So why were they going? What could the blonde's Father _possibly_ want from him? He couldn't be planning on hurting him, because if he was, he was risking his own life. She knew her cousin well enough to know that it would take a lot to calm him back down, and that if he felt that Fai's life might be in jeopardy...

They pulled into a driveway then, and Tomoyo realized they'd reached their destination. Fai unbuckled his seatbelt, intent on getting out, but Kurogane hit the locks. When the blonde turned his head, to question his husband on what it was that he was doing, the raven wrapped one of his powerful arms around him, securing him in his hold. He didn't give him a chance to speak. He captured his lips, roughly, but not roughly enough to hurt him, and Fai couldn't help but respond.

Kurogane's taste, his scent, all of it was overwhelming, and for a moment, he was feeling rather heady. He was lost in the warmth of his tongue, and his powerful body, and he wanted more of him.

_Gods he wanted more of him._

But the raven pulled away, slowly, gently, and his eyes displayed his concern. Fai cupped his husband's face, tenderly, trying to look reassuring. This was not a trip that would cause him any harm. There was no need for Kurogane to worry, but he simply couldn't tell him the truth.

_Not now._

"It'll be okay...I promise..."

The raven didn't reply verbally. He gave a slight nod of his head, and allowed for the love of his life, to climb out of the car.

When the door closed behind him, Mayu cleared her throat, flustered by what she'd just witnessed.

"...So..._Kurogane,_ huh?" She had assumed that there was some kind of bind between the raven in question, and Fai himself. But she hadn't asked.

"...Yeah." He kept his eyes trained on Taijo, who nodded at him, confirming a silent promise that this was not a trip that he should worry about.

"I'm sorry, but..._Who are you,_ exactly?" She was completely lost on his title in Fai's life. Just how close were they? Judging by what she'd seen...

"...I'm his husband."

"His...What, when did-?" She cut herself off, and shook her head,

"Well that explains a lot."

Tomoyo giggled at the reaction that the love fest had received.

"You kind of get used to that after a while. They tend to forget that there are other people in the world sometimes."

"Says the one that taped us." Kurogane's deep voice was teasing, as he pulled the car back out onto the road. He was still feeling miserable, and confused, but he knew that he couldn't linger. He just hoped that Fai came back unscathed.

"That video is doing very well, by the way. A lot of views."

"A lot of...Wait a second, did you actually post that online?" He glanced at her in the rear-view mirror, unsure of whether or not he should believe her.

Her only answer was laughter, because she found his reaction to be rather amusing. She wasn't going to let him know if she was only kidding, or not.

It was much more entertaining to keep him guessing.

**TT**

When the blonde arrived at home, he came home to a rather quiet house.

Almost everyone had gone upstairs to sleep, with the exception of Shooter, Raiko, and Chi. The two males had no choice, as they always slept downstairs, and Chi was just waiting for her brother to come back home again.

They knew that Kurogane was waiting as well, though he had decided to do so in private.

"Fai..." His sister looked so relieved to see him stepping back into the house. He offered her a small smile, as he was feeling slightly tired after such a long day.

"Where are the babies?" He stepped out of his shoes as he asked the question, and let out a relieved sigh once they were off of his feet.

"Two are in Tomoyo's room, because that's where Mayu is sleeping, and it will be easier on her to have another set of hands to help her out. And the little one, is in my room." She was watching him, waiting for an explanation. But giving her one, would mean losing the control that he had on his emotions.

_And he didn't want to lose his control._

"...Nothing happened."

"Then why did-?"

"-Chi, nothing happened, alright? I promise. I just...I just don't have the energy to talk about it right now." He was tired. His emotions had been all over the place that day, and now he just wanted to be with his husband.

_He needed his anchor._

"...Okay. It's been a big day, for everyone. You should go up to bed." She knew her brother well enough, to know that he wanted Kurogane. She just hoped that the raven would be able to pry the information out of her brother.

Fai nodded, and said his goodnights, before retreating upstairs to his bedroom.

The door was unlocked - as he'd known it would be - and he opened it quietly; being sure to lock it behind himself, upon closing it.

He wasn't at all surprised to find Kurogane sitting on the edge of the bed, illuminated by the light of his bedside lamp. He knew that the raven wouldn't go to sleep if he was out of the house.

Especially if he was out with his Father.

_Where were you? What happened? Why did you have to go with your Father?_

The ruby eyes were speaking to him, even though his lips never moved. But Fai wasn't ready to speak, as he began to shed his clothing. He just wanted to crawl into their bed, curl up to his husband, and forget. He didn't want to think about what it was that he had done. He didn't want to think about what it meant. Doing this had made everything seem so_ final. _And he didn't want for anything to be final. _Not yet._ Not when he had so much that he wanted to experience with his husband.

Upon removing his shirt, he met the raven's gaze once again.

He didn't want to lose everything that they had built up together. He didn't want to lose the strong arms that would wrap around him, comforting him; warming him. He didn't want to lose the tender kisses; nor did he wish to lose the rough ones. He didn't want to lose their stupid arguments, their late night cuddle sessions, or their teasing remarks.

_He didn't want to lose their marriage._

But Fai knew, as he stood lost in his own world, that today had been important. Because today was the day, in which he had signed his death warrant.

"Fai?" The deep voice questioned his name, but he couldn't respond. He knew that what he had done today, had nothing to do with a death warrant at all. But it still felt that way to him, because it all had seemed so..._Final._

"...Fai?" The voice was gentler now, and concerned. It pulled the blonde out of the darkness, and back into reality. He met his husband's gaze once more, unsure of when it was that he had looked away in the first place.

"Are you okay?" It wasn't the question that he wanted to ask, but it was important nonetheless.

"I'm fine." He held out his arms for his husband to see.

"No bruises. No cuts. Nothing. He wasn't taking me out to hurt me."

"Then what did he want?" He hated to leave the blonde alone with his Father. He didn't trust him. But he was thankful to see that there were no new markings on his arms.

"...I don't want to talk about it." Fai's knew that his answer wouldn't satisfy the raven's curiousity. He knew it, as he climbed into their bed, and felt his husband's weight shifting to follow him. But he refused to give in. He didn't want to have this discussion, because it would make everything so much more real, and saying it would make it all seem so final.

So he opted for the distraction, instead.

It wasn't difficult to pull off, as it had been a while since they had last been together in such an intimate fashion, and their bodies craved the contact.

_However..._

"You're supposed to be taking it easy, remember? I don't exactly think of this as:_ taking things easy._" Kurogane hadn't forgotten about the blonde's little expedition with his Father, but it didn't seem to be nearly as important now, considering their current position.

He mentally cursed Fai, for being so good at providing him with tempting distractions.

"Kuro-rin, you really need to relax." The answer was simple, and those blue eyes displayed an affectionate determination.

_He wasn't going to give up easily._

"Besides, as I recall, _we_ never had our _honeymoon._" As the words were spoken, slender fingers gently traced their way along the flesh of one of the raven's arms. Those eyes closed for a moment, before flashing back up to the ruby gaze, with a look that made Kurogane bite his tongue, just to keep from groaning.

Gods he wanted to touch him. He wanted to lose himself in the slender frame, and the tantalizing taste of his lips, his skin...He wanted the sounds of his moans; wanted to hear him crying out his name, as he reached the brink of ecstasy. He wanted all of him then, and always...But he was terrified, right to his core, of overworking him when he was already so fragile.

"Kuro-love...You really need to rela-"

"—I'm scared I'll hurt you..."

Fai watched as the distraught expression crossed his husband's face. He knew then that Kurogane had been thinking about his illness, and considering the consequences that could arise from his actions.

He propped himself up, on one of his hands, and used his free hand, to stroke his fingers through his husband's hair. It wasn't that he hadn't considered the consequences...However, he didn't want to live in fear. He had done enough of that in the past. There was no reason to deprive themselves of the pleasure they both craved, and he didn't want Kurogane to fear the act of making love, simply because he himself was sick.

"Well then Kuro-love...I suppose you'll just have to be gentle with me." The words were murmured just before the blonde led his husband into a kiss. Their lips melded together, cautious, but passionate; seeking the other's warmth, and taste...

Kurogane felt his resolve slipping, as their kiss deepened. He was getting too close to the edge of submission; his fears were losing the battle.

The blonde beneath him let out a low chuckle, as his victory was becoming rather evident to both of them.

"It's not funny, Fai," Kurogane murmured, pulling out of the kiss, and turning his attention to grazing his teeth across the blonde's left earlobe.

"Nnh...You're right, I shouldn't laugh..."

The raven moved from his husband's ear, and over to his neck. He bit him, causing another moan to flow from those gentle lips once more.

"You're such a masochist."

"Says the one that's biting me; does that make you a sadist then?"

He was answered with another playful bite to the neck.

"...Perhaps I _am_ a little bit masochistic..." The blonde murmured, causing the raven to stop what he was doing, so that he could meet his husband's gaze.

"...Fai?" Kurogane questioned the name, as he cupped the paler male's face in his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I...I kind of...I want you to say it..."

"...Say what?" The raven was confused beyond belief by the turn in their conversation. And the silence that followed his question; wasn't helping.

"Fai, I can't say it, if you don't tell me what it is that you me to-"

"-My name...My...My _birth_ name..." The blonde bit his bottom lip upon uttering the words.

Kurogane's expression softened then, and he kissed the blonde's forehead, gently.

"You sure?"

"Kind of. Maybe. I don't really know...But for some reason, I want to hear you saying it, at least once."

The raven let out a worried sigh, as he pulled his head back. He wasn't sure if he could make eye contact while saying the name; mainly because he didn't want to be the one to hurt his husband. He knew how forbidden that name happened to be, and how much pain it tended to cause the blonde in question.

But he had asked him to say it.

So, mustering up a tiny bit of courage – where his courage had run off to in the first place, he wasn't entirely sure – he managed to meet the blue gaze, as he murmured the blonde's birth name.

The silence that followed, threatened to swallow them both whole.

Yuui's eyes widened slightly, just slightly, but it was still enough to send Kurogane into panic mode.

"I'm sorry. Shit, I shouldn't have said it. I know how much you hate hearing your na-"

His speech was abruptly cut off, as the blonde led him back into a kiss. And although his lips responded, his brain was still trying to sort out what was going on. So when they broke apart once more, the first words out of the raven's mouth were:

"—name...What just happened?"

This, of course, caused the blonde to chuckle, as he ran pale fingers through his husband's ebony locks of hair.

"I wasn't sure how I felt at first...I was met with that uneasiness that's always come with hearing my name...But then I realized how silly it was of me, to be nervous about you saying it. Especially considering I'd asked it of you."

Kurogane's body relaxed, and he leaned forward to kiss his husband once again, content with the knowledge that he hadn't hurt him.

Yuui cupped one hand around the nape of the raven's neck, allowing the nails of his free hand to travel down the tan flesh of his husband's back.

Kurogane released a moan, and, unable to contain himself any longer; freed himself, so that he could remove the blonde's boxers.

Once the dreaded material was out of his way, he crawled back over the lithe body, kissing his way up the male's stomach, and chest, before hungrily recapturing his lips. He set his left hand firmly on the mattress, using it as his support system, so that he could ravish the body beneath him.

Pulling back out of the kiss, he turned his attention to the blonde's neck. His right hand roamed across the exposed flesh of Yuui's body, tracing over one of his nipples, causing him to moan. His hand continued to travel down the lithe body; which arched into his touch. And when he finally wrapped his hand around his husband's erection, he was met with an involuntary thrust.

"_Haah..._"

"Eager much?"

"Shut-u—_haah!_" The hand that had wrapped his erection, was now beginning to stroke his length, firmly, but gently.

"_Nnh_..._Kurogane_...Please..I nee—_nnh_...I need..." He couldn't speak properly. Not with this much pleasure coursing through him. But it wasn't nearly enough.

He needed the reckless abandon that came with his lover being buried inside of him. He needed the ecstasy, the passion, the fire...

_He needed Kurogane._

"You need...?" The raven knew the answer to that question, but there was no way in hell that he would make this easy.

"In...Inside..._Haah_...I need you..."

As much fun as the raven had been having with tormenting the blonde, his own erection couldn't handle much more of this. Those moans were driving him absolutely insane, and he wanted more.

No, he _needed_ more.

He stopped stroking – much to Yuui's disappointment – so that he could search through one of the night side tables, for their lubrication.

He knew the blonde wouldn't be disappointed for long though, as his fingers curled around the bottle, and he pulled it from the drawer. He listened to the moan of anticipation, and smiled slightly upon hearing it.

Upon coating the fingers of his right hand, he carefully set the open bottle on the night side table. And – once it was out of the way – he repositioned his husband's legs, so that preparing him would be easier to do.

The moans that erupted from the mere presence of his fingers, made it extremely difficult for him to maintain his composure. But he knew that it would hurt more, if he didn't give the blonde a chance to adapt to the presence in his body.

_But Yuui wasn't too keen on waiting._

"Dammit Kurogane, if you don't get inside of me, so help me, I'll – _Nnh_..." His argument was lost, as Kurogane took over his lips once more. He could feel the raven shifting, as he applied lubrication to his own erection. He felt him change their positions slightly, as he positioned himself at the blonde's entrance. And then their kiss was broken, as the raven murmured his question.

"Are you absolutely sure about going through with this?" He looked worried, and Yuui smiled slightly at his husband's concern.

"I want you." His eyes held such passion, as he whispered the words. It was his only confirmation, and Kurogane knew that there would be no backing out of this now.

So, leading his husband back into a kiss, he slid into him; slowly, and as gently as was humanly possible. He wasn't surprised when the blonde tightened around him, as it had been a while since they had last engaged in this particular activity. So he broke their kiss, needing to ask whether or not he was alright.

"I'm fine...Just...Give me a minute." He hooked one leg around the backs of Kurogane's legs, keeping him in place. He needed to adjust, so that he wouldn't end up becoming too sore.

The raven understood, and kissed his way along the pale flesh of his husband's neck, relishing in the sounds of his moans. His tongue traced the blonde's earlobe, and Yuui shivered beneath him.

Kurogane resisted the urge to thrust, when he felt the blonde loosening up. He didn't want to rush him. He didn't want to hurt him.

Yuui was able to follow his lover's train of thought rather easily, for he repositioned his leg, no longer holding the raven in place.

The moan that escaped the blonde's lips, as Kurogane finally allowed himself to thrust, sent shivers down the raven's spine.

It took all of his willpower to be as gentle as was humanly possible. And even then he knew that it wouldn't be nearly enough. Because it had been so long, and their bodies craved the connection. They were hungry for one another; desperate to drive each other over the brink of ecstasy.

"_Nnh...Kurogane..._"

A grunted moan in response, and then...

"_Yuui..._"

"_Haah!_" The moan was louder this time. Hearing his lover speaking his name – his birth name – in such an intimate setting...It was indescribable. It was driving him closer to the edge, as were the thrusts that he was trying his hardest to meet.

Their bodies fit together, in a way that neither had ever thought possible. And the two of them fit together in ways that no one could have ever predicted.

_Neither had ever intended to fall in love._

And now, it was inconceivable that one could ever be without the other.

"_Kurogane..._" This was the other way in which the blonde spoke his husband's name. With a lust, and a need. It was spoken behind a locked bedroom door, so only his ears could hear it. It came out on a moan, which sent another shiver down the raven's spine, as he continued with his thrusts.

He knew how close they were, and he knew that Yuui wouldn't be able to handle this much longer. It was evident in his voice, and his expression. And his actions – _gods, his actions_ – as if his moans weren't already too much for the raven to bear. The blonde had been dragging his fingernails down the tan flesh of his husband's back; pulling him closer by doing so, and causing him to thrust more deeply.

Those hands clung to him now, and he quickened his pace slightly, listening to the answering moans, as they slipped past swollen lips.

"_Haah_...Kuro-_nnh!_ Can't..." He didn't finish what it was that he was trying to say, but he didn't need to. His body was beginning to tremble, and the raven knew what that meant. He thrust more deeply than before, and Yuui clung to him more tightly. His body progressed from a tremble, to a full out shake, and the raven wrapped his free hand around the blonde's erection, pumping him to their rhythm.

"_Kurogane...Haaah! Nnh..._" He felt himself breaking, as the pent up pleasure finally reached its brink. His body clenched involuntarily, and the raven groaned in response, finding the beginning of his release, seconds after his husband did.

They rode it out together, savouring the connection, and sharing kisses as they drained themselves of their pent up frustrations. And when they were finished, Kurogane pulled a blanket up over them; knowing that Yuui was too tired to get up again.

He also realized, as sleep slowly began to take a hold of him, that the blonde in his arms, had managed to avoid confrontation yet again.

**TT**

Freshly showered, and slightly sore, Yuui was ready to face the day.

He came downstairs to find that there were three little bundles tucked between Raiko, and Shooter, and he smiled upon seeing them.

"Precious little things," he murmured, looking down at them in awe. He was a sucker for babies. He had always been the baby, in his family, so it was nice to be able to see some.

"Precious, and little alright. But also very _needy,_" Tomoyo sighed, taking a drink from her coffee mug. She was still somewhat tired, from spending a fairly restless night, tending to the bigger of the two boys.

"I'm sorry, Tomoyo." That was Mayu, who was feeling rather guilty, for keeping the younger woman awake for most of the previous night.

"Don't be. It's not your fault, nor is it theirs. They're just babies, after all." Her smile was genuine, and forgiving. Mayu was thankful that she was so understanding.

Chi stepped back into the house – coming in from outside – and ruffled her brother's hair upon entering the room. She didn't fail to notice that he winced when he sat down on one of the couches, though she wasn't too concerned. Fuuma – who had just come downstairs – seemed to notice it as well, for he looked to his friend with an _all-too-knowing_ grin.

"Rough night?" His voice implied that he knew just how rough his night had been, and the blonde felt his face flushing in embarrassment.

"There are children present!"

"They don't understand us yet. Nice try though!"

"I was referring to _you,_ actually," Yuui teased, watching as his friend feigned a look of hurt in reply.

"_Ouch._"

"You started it." He noted that Kurogane, and Kamui, were both coming into the living room then, and he smiled at his husband as he approached him. The raven sat down beside him, and Yuui was only too happy to curl up against him, content in his embrace.

Kamui, however, sat himself down on the edge of Raiko, and Shooter's, bed. He wasn't a morning person, by any means, but his touch was nothing but gentle, as he tapped the curled fingers of the smallest baby's hand. His little fingers uncurled, before they wrapped around Kamui's finger, and the raven smiled at the contact.

Yuui blinked, staring first at Kamui, before turning his attention to Fuuma, in utter confusion. The male laughed, as he poured his fiancée a cup of coffee.

"Don't worry. If there's anything that Kamui loves – besides coffee – it's being able to unleash his _big brother_ tendencies." Fuuma was completely unconcerned, as he added sugar, and cream to the coffee he had poured, before telling the raven that his drink was ready.

"Sorry little one, but can I have my finger back?" He wiggled the digit in question, and the baby uncurled his fingers long enough for Kamui to pull himself away. He retreated to the kitchen for his coffee, which he drank in relative silence, as the others continued with their conversations.

However, upon finishing his coffee, and setting the mug down, he turned his attention to his fiancée.

"You know, you left something rather important off of that list of things that I love."

"Subaru?" Fuuma guessed, though he knew that that wasn't what Kamui was implying. He set down his own mug with a hint of a smile.

"Well, him too. But I meant _you._" He knew that the taller raven was just teasing him, but he still felt as though it needed to be said. And he was content when Fuuma pulled him into his arms, and leaned down to kiss him.

His kisses were always warm, and comforting...

"Get a room!" Yuui announced, unable to resist the jab.

The kiss broke, and laughter ensued, as Fuuma gave his retort,

"We leave that up to you, and Kurogane, actually."

The blonde wasn't sure how to reply, so he resigned himself, knowing that he had been defeated in this particular round. He made a mental note to get back at Fuuma for that one later, as someone knocked on the front door. Chi rose to get it, and briefly explained who it was, so as not to take anyone by surprise.

"Are you sure he'll be okay around them?" Mayu questioned, knowing about Yuui's history with this particular guest.

"He'll be fine. All of that is in the past now, and besides, it's been forever since he's last seen a baby." She knew that it would be a long time before anyone would ever fully trust him, and that his apology hadn't fixed everything. However, it had greatly improved things, and she hoped that they would continue to improve from then on. She opened the door for her Father, and was happy to find that he was wearing a rather pleasant expression.

Mayu repositioned herself, moving to sit on the edge of the pull out bed, as she felt safer when she was near her children, and her brother. Taijo didn't question the movement, as he followed his daughter into the house. He was polite, and quiet, and he stood near the pull out bed, so that he could look down upon the tiny faces of Mayu's children.

"Been a while since I've last seen people this small," he mused, smiling at the little wriggling figures.

"The boys haven't been named yet, but the girl – the baby in green – is Eri," Chi piped up, filling her Father in. She had known that he would be curious about the names, and she had hoped that providing him with an answer to his unasked question, would break some of the tension in the room.

"Who does the little lad in purple remind me of?" Taijo chuckled, making eye contact with his son for just a moment upon saying it. There was no menace in that brief glance, nor were there any undertones of violence. His voice was friendly, and his eyes were amused – and bewildered – by the mere chance that an old friend of his children, had ended up having triplets.

"Chi said the same thing when she first saw him," the younger blonde piped up. He was happy to see his Father's reaction. He hoped that he would be better to these three, than he had ever been to his own children.

He doubted that this would be a problem.

"So, you came here to see the babies?" That was Kurogane, and Yuui didn't like the undertone in his voice, when he asked his question.

Taijo looked away from the triplets, to set a confused gaze on the raven.

"Yes. Chi told me about Mayu having babies, and when I inquired about coming over, she was extremely enthusiastic."

"I thought you might be coming over to tell me what it was that you two were up to yesterday."

"I thought Fai would tell you about that, so that you wouldn't worry." Taijo was lost as to what was going on. He had taken his son out, on his request, and now he was finding out that the younger blonde hadn't even bothered with explaining his absence to his husband.

"No, he hasn't said a word." The raven replied, shifting his gaze down to the blonde in question.

Yuui tore himself out of his husband's hold, and got to his feet in annoyance.

"This is really mature, Kurogane." His head throbbed, and he felt slightly dizzy, but he decided that it was due to the fact that he had gotten up too quickly. There was no need to panic every single time that he felt lightheaded.

"Well, _you _won't tell me what happened, so I figured that your Dad might." The raven was clearly bothered by the fact that Yuui was withholding this information. What could he have possibly done that was so secretive?

"I didn't tell you, because I wanted to forget about it ever happening. You already know what that trip _wasn't_ about, so why do you need to know all of the _details?_" He wanted to continue with his tirade of questions, but he stopped himself when he felt a heavy throbbing in his chest.

Something was wrong, he realized, as Kurogane started to say something else.

The raven hadn't caught on to the problem just yet, but Yuui knew that he couldn't hold it in for long. He knew it, as he felt the cough building in his throat. He knew it as his vision blurred; becoming a vertically shifting movie reel once again. Only this time, something had changed.

This time, he heard the voice.

"_...Yuui..."_

"Fai? Are you okay?" That was Kurogane, but the blonde barely heard him, as the cough tore itself from his lungs, and into his hand. His flesh was stained with the blood of his internal battle, and he couldn't stop his body from surrendering to the coughing fit.

"Fai!" Panic now, as someone called for an ambulance. But he barely heard them above the sound of his body losing the battle.

He was vaguely aware of the fact that Kurogane was steadying him, but his vision – which he was desperately trying to bring into focus – was caught on the young blonde that was standing in the room.

"..._Fai_..."

He wasn't aware of the name leaving his lips.

All he was aware of, before unconsciousness took a hold of him, were his husband's hands, and his brother's voice; calling his name, and telling him to hold on.

**(A.N:** This isn't the last chapter. However, this does lead into the last chapter. And, I actually have two endings; one of which basically started this entire fanfic, and the other that came to me as I was writing the later chapters of the fanfic. When I post them, I will make sure to tell you which one is which. I still have to write them out...I have one started already, but it's far from ready. I have no idea when I'll next be updating, but, I _will _be updating! Eventually. In case anyone is wondering, the song that I listened to, to write this chapter, was _What If, by SafetySuit. _ I cleared out my iTunes recently, and now this song's play count is at 579. Yeah, it took me a long time to write this chapter. Anyways. **R&R?** I love you guys, and I'd appreciate it!**)**


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